Your “Boring As Heck” Friday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

Latest posts by theeWeeBabySeamus (see all)

I’m not the biggest soccer fan on the planet.  That’s no secret to any of you if you’ve been paying attention.  But I do like me a nice toned and athletic lady.  So I fake it sometimes.  So….yeah.

The USWNT took the World Cup which surprised….no one.

One of my best friends in the world happens to be a youth soccer coach.  And he’s quite good at it.  I’ve watched him, and he knows his shit.

He’s also a DFO lurker (you know who you are!!!!!)

But that aside, he also has a little bit of a thing for Alex Morgan.  So in his honour, that’s what we’re doing tonight.

Sports Which Will Fill Your Cup 2Nite

MLB

  • Washington at Philadelphia – 6:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
  • Toronto at NYY – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)

Soccer

  • New England at D.C. United – 7:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN (who gives a fuck?)

NBA Summer League

  • All night on ESPNU and NBATV (again, who gives a fuck?)

Wimbledon

(lol, when I first typed that, I typed Wimbledong and now I can’t stop laughing)

  • No Idea who’s playing – 6:00pm – TNNS

Cupcake Wars -7:00pmEDT – Cooking Channel

Hopefully they’ll all get pissed and start throwing cupcakes at each other.  Otherwise it sounds boring as hell.

Speaking Of Cupcakes

Alex Morgan evahbodeh!!!!!!!

Can’t say I blame my friend.  If she wandered by I’d probably follow.

Ummmmmmm…..you have a little something on your cheek.  No the other side.  Here I’ll get it for you…..OWWWW!!!!!  I was just trynna help!!!!!

/would eat THAT cupcake

//is that frosting?  Never mind don’t care

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Love ya’s.

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Brick MeathookMr. AyoUnsurprisedBrettFavresColonoscopySenor Weaselo Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

We only do topless murdering around here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Anybody else getting hammered?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I wasn’t, until the whiskey presented itself.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, considering how it was dressed.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I was more thinking about doing the hammering. But yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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High as fuck.

yeah right

Why can’t I plus 1 this twice!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

FYI, Ralphs Coroner Van does not have compartments.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That’s an SUV (or a mini-van!); the Ralphs Coroner Van was a quality GMC light truck.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Good eye. The van fits two side by side.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“My roommate is a stiff.”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I assume that’s your van? Looks nice.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

See all the frost inside? That’s the power of mechanical refrigeration. It’s physics, pure and simple. Hop inside I’ll give you a ride.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

You’re a great friend, Brick. Don’t mind if I do!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just hangin’ out.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just roll them up……… unless Brother Rigor has arrived.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else watching Sydney-Carlton?

How could you tell Lady BFC was out of town?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Need to slap a bitch?

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Skaggs is having a night. .440 BA, 1 HR, 10 RBI, 10 R.

And pitching a shutout through 5.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Dying was really good for his career stats.

yeah right

Goddammit, you’re good!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Per Herodotus’s suggestion of a Pale Ale, and courtesy of my trip there with Horatio, first* beer of the night will be a Treehouse East Hill American Pale.

*First if you don’t count the two Stone and one Widmer at the office or the blonde ale at the Polish restaurant.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Frank cannot look away.

Horatio Cornblower

Scotchnaut contemplates yet another clean-up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Ingrid Pitt.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pierogi were tasty. Who wants to pick a style of beer for me to grab out of the fridge? I don’t feel like making any more decisions.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’ve heard of pierogis for decades, but you know what? I have no idea what a pierogi is.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s basically Polish ravioli, but with a potato filling.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Where’d you get the pierogi, BFC?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Solidarity in Santa Monica.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That used to be called “Warszawa” but I believe it is still the same management. Very good. I worked on the back side of that block and we had a balcony overlooking it and many VFX parties were had there. There are whore houses across the street, you know.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s a CVS, sir.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

ha ha they’re behind the CVS

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Dang! I’m looking at Google Maps satellite view and they might be gone! Oh well. It was once a thing.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Wait! Maybe not!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Man that old building is still there! I’m sure it’s not a whorehouse anymore. Rooms probably rent for $2000 a month now. It’s all single room units with a shared bathroom down the hall, built in the 1920s. This building is old school.

Horatio Cornblower

This Sketches of Sound is quite tasty.

herodotus450
herodotus450

How about a First Tribes Pale Ale

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was thinking more genre than brewery, but I’ll start with a Pale Ale in your honor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Back Breaker is a damn good move.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Happier times.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

“Eh, I’d take my chances.”

-Epstein, J.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They were 19 when they made that movie, well beyond his tastes you dipshit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Lust for a Vampire lesbianing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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They knew how to do tits back in the day when they could no show them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s me, behind her, with my usual awkward approach to women in bars.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rusty?

Horatio Cornblower

After 24 years of mawwiage, yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Drinking one of these, courtesy of the good BFC and the joys of trading beer cross-country.
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Fun fact, he sent it more than a month ago and, thanks to his superior packing job, my wife just found it yesterday while moving some boxes around. This has led to several jokes about how my wife knows her way around a box better than I do.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I suppose I could drink one of those now in solidarity with you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also plenty of fodder for jokes about my superior packing skillz

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Cavemen were big on proper use of foundation and eye-liner, and not being eaten by sabre-toothed tigers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Also known as “Faded by DeLuxe.” But who cares; look at them big ol’ titties.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That chick don’t play soccer.

Horatio Cornblower

Well duh; she’s a statue.

SonOfSpam

She could totally play foosball.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s go.

SonOfSpam

I LIKE THE NIGHT LIFE BABY

(that’s what we’re doing right?)

Horatio Cornblower

So do these guys. The geekiest of whom landed Paulina Porzikova

Horatio Cornblower

More research indicates that they’ve split after 28 years.
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Finally, my time to shine!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s a great scene.

For several reasons.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Pancake mix that makes waffles too? We do indeed live in a marvelous and futuristic space age. This is proof that exploding the atom bomb was a good thing.

SonOfSpam

“Goddamn right.”

– B. Parcells

WCS

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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herodotus450
herodotus450

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. This week sucked. I’m going to get some pierogi and call it an early night.

SonOfSpam

Update: Angels batted around in the first inning, and Trout doubled in two more. We’re up a touchdown.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And an extra point. Should have gone for two, imo.

SonOfSpam

DON’T CHASE POINTS EARLY IN THE GAME HURR DURR

Senor Weaselo

They should honor their dead more often then!
/Too soon?

SonOfSpam

I think the last time they made the playoffs was when Nick Adenhart was killed by a drunk driver.

So…yeah.

SonOfSpam

Tyler Skaggs just hit a home run!

Ok, it was Mike Trout, wearing Skaggs’ jersey to honor him, and he hit it about 8 Mile.

Pretty fucking cool.

SonOfSpam

P.S. The dong was measured at 454 feet. Quality dong.

SonOfSpam

Ok, I’m slow (duh). The whole team is wearing the Skaggs jersey.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Even the boss?

SonOfSpam

No, he’s wearing glittery Spanx.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

He’s got lacy black women’s panties and a brassiere under the Spanx

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He crushed that. Go Ners!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Welp, this game is over. Orioles-esque effort here in the first.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Here’s a close-up of the Ralphs coroner van. The corpse has gotta be in the back; look at the size of the refrigeration unit on the roof. That van is a mobile freezer.

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This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me all week.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I wonder if it has individual body slots so they only have to freeze occupied compartments and not waste gas. I bet they do.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Also, I wonder if they recycle that police-line tape, you know, roll it back onto the spool for future use? Maybe they just throw it away? I should ask, and maybe set up a police-tape-respooling business. I’ll hire illegal immigrants and minors but I’ll charge the city big bucks.

herodotus450
herodotus450
Redshirt

Thank Heavens the All Star Break is over. With the NL Central being completely average, all the local radio has been saying the same thing “Reds are only 4.5 games back. 19 days to the Trading Deadline. Are the Buyers or Sellers? What do they have to do to be buyers?”

Its was like they were doing an homage to the “Get Swiftly” episode of “Rick and Morty”.

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herodotus450
herodotus450

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herodotus450
herodotus450

In a perfect world, everytime you turn on basedball that clip of Homer saying “I never realized how boring this game is” would play.

Redshirt

If this was a perfect world, Donald Trump would be a used car salesman in a New York Suburb.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Is “Alex Morgan” a rare quadfecta name? Two first names, and both of them are both boy and girl names.

litre_cola

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herodotus450
herodotus450

I suppose her full name is Alexandra whereas a guy would be Alexander, which kinda throws a spanner in the works.

litre_cola

Does that make him Morgantown? I have heard about that place.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Yeah, everybody knows Morgan is short for Morgantown for guys, and Morganlafeyville for girls.

Redshirt

Not necessarily. Some people aren’t named the full versions. I’ve met people named Betty, Mark and John who weren’t short for Elizabeth, Markus or Johnathan.

litre_cola

Horatio Cornblower

“Alex Morgan? Whatever. Isn’t she, like, 30?”

Jeffrey Epstein, probably.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jeffrey Epstein lost interest in girls’ soccer after he wore out his videocasette of “Ladybugs”.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

“Mr. Kotter! Mr. Kotter! My mother wrote me a note to allow me to work with the 3rd graders.” – Jeffery Epstein – from Welcome Back Kotter the younger but less ethnic years

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My eye kept getting caught by Kosovare Asllani.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well that image evokes a blast from the past…
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Joliet Jake Delhomme
BC Dick

Now I don’t know if Serena is playing. She’s best at Wimbledon with the all white tennis clothes. I see tennis on tv but then when I change to it it’s mens tennis. Who wants to watch goddamn men’s tennis? Might as well watch gentleman’s knitting or women’s comedy.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m OK with women’s comedy.
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BC Dick

A stiff prick knows no punchlines

Joliet Jake Delhomme
Joliet Jake Delhomme

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Interesting…

BC Dick

She must be a lesbian though with that hair, no? That’s like porn with a condom.

herodotus450
herodotus450

But what about the other one?

Horatio Cornblower

Sue Bird, former UConn sweetheart.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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litre_cola

I like this.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We need to get this to NCIS to increase the resolution.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Can’t decide which is the spicier taek: that Alex Morgan “isn’t even that hot” or that Alex Morgan “isn’t even that good at soccer”. Time to A-B test them on twitter.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

So I went to do some grocery shopping this afternoon at the super-deluxe Ralphs in glamorous El Segundo and what do I see?

It’s the L.A. County Coroner, busy in a taped-off corner of the not-very-big parking lot!

I couldn’t see a corpse, so maybe it’s in the van!

The L.A. County Coroner is the coroner to the stars!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Indeed! Not only that, they have a gift shop!

http://www.lacoroner.com/

BC Dick

Is it just the two items? I was hoping for a bone saw.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Who knew Scotchy made it all the way to LA

litre_cola

He was with me the whole time. We were…….playing lawn darts.