Despite it being just the first week of exhibition I think most of us have taken a quick peek at the games on offer. The real jostling for positions, the surprise cuts, the trades, (‘hey did you hear anything, Duke Johnson?’) the implications for your fantasy drafts and the season-ending injuries are yet to come.
Did last night teach us anything? Not really. Booze Arians one year retirement hasn’t changed him at all. His Bucs tossed the ball 57 times and carried it a mere 22-feel free to scooch Mr. Evans and Mr. Godwin up a spot or two in your wr rankings. A more even-handed approach was taken by the Vikes new OC Kevin Stefanski (a distant relative to singer Gwen Stefani). His run/pass numbers came out to 27/27.
Camp Stars that have made an impact early but might fade and end up on a practice roster/pumping gas:
The Bengali’s Damion Willis bounced from community college to Troy university and was initially invited to the draft before having it rescinded. He’s a 6’3″, 205 hunk of meat receiver that’s getting some extra time because AJ Green is injured and John Ross is garbage. Coaches say he plays faster than his 4.5 40 time, has a huge catch radius and his work ethic is second to none.
Apparently a certain qb that goes by the moniker ‘Jimmy G’ only has eyes for teeny-weeny Trent Taylor. No less a blowhard than Richard Sherman predicts that Taylor will bag between 80 and 90 catches this year.
Up Dallas way the fight is on to be paid less than a tenth of the salary that DAK! earns. Mike White and Cooper Rush are battling for the honour. I’m hoping that the latter gets it simply because the league needs more redheads holding clipboards. Don’t judge. Actually, go ahead and judge, I’m into that as well.
Your games tonight are Cincy/Chiefs, Rams/Raiders and Dallas/Niners. You know what to do.
High as fuck.
A little drunk too.
Wilhem de Friend
And by a ‘Little Drunk’, I didn’t……
Wassssssup
I, for one, am up for whatever.
BRING IN THE BUTTER!
My niece heard her first Sigur Ros song today. She’s mad i never recommended them before.
Who?
Sugar Ray. Pay attention.
Damn it! Sugar Ray Leonard!!
Fastest hands!
NO MAS!
It’s 95″ in Vegas right now. Had the windows down on the drive home. FALL IS COMING!
95 inches? That IS remarkable.
Folks
Sir.
I’M COMIN’ MAMA!
Several meanings if one does not remember the quote.
+
I don’t advertise, but damn; Duluth Trading Free Range Underwear has plenty of ballroom and ventilation type fabric.
I can get out of my truck without the smash.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nR_myjOr0OU
Paging Balls
I’ve seen the advertisements. I’m thinking of buying a pair now that Moose has weighed in.
For some reason I find this fascinating, been making up my own backstories, but I bet I can’t beat the real one.
Several more kids were safe for a while?
THis fucking guy again,
https://www.space.com/flat-earther-mad-mike-hughes-august-2019-launch.html
Its nice seeing Natural Selection in action.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSHFzRnK9rE
Does he know that there are plenty of mountains that are higher than 5,000 feet that you can just walk up?
Ummmmm, honey? Did you hear someone say “Moo”?
“I thought that was you.”
Bevo just likes to watch.
It would be so much better if the small photograph was also of the cow.
If I were at home I’d make that edit
h
ttps://media.giphy.com/media/dA5xUMxb4Q2ac/giphy.gif
This GIF is SFDFO, just too large to post.
25, this is getting funny now.
Well sort of funny. Where’s my vodka?
fuck you other cat!!!!!
KITTY!!!!!!
the worst thing about travel (other than people usually get in the mix) is the lack of mah cat son and grandson. Such good boys.
Hope they aren’t pissing on my bed, even though I deserve it.
Oh, to mix with yours, I understand.
u noe a better way 2 mark ur territory smh
h
ttps://media.giphy.com/media/uXJmW39a16y8E/giphy.gif
This GIF is SFDFO, just too large to post.
Targetting Reviews are now legal in the NFL?
Jesus, that might be the last straw FOAR Hippo
Ron Howard: It would not be the last straw for Hippo.
Goodell: “Go ahead. Talk to your family!”
Yup. KC #40’s been DQ’d.
What looked like a giveaway trade (Luke Voit to NYY) is looking more win-win. Giovanny Gallegos has been a versatile, max leverage, dominant force out of the #BFIB pen.
Even against teams that aren’t as sad as teh Dirt Stillers.
Oh, like she hasn’t had that happen before!!
How can the kicking team commit an illegal block?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuykHUfeOoQ
Okay. Time for the Greatest Comeback Ever to begin.
Peterman with a 51 yard run?
Hey, at least Detroit lost again tonight. So the Orioles didn’t lose ground as THE WORST FUCKING TEAM IN HISTORY!!!!!!!
watch this be the one year there is a seismic dropoff from the 1st to 2nd overall draft pick
The Cleveland Spiders beg to differ.
they were probably just afraid of the mascot
Be very afraid.
Hey, its not all bad. The Orioles scored a safety.
It’s in my head, now it’s in yours, you bastard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5QYtYs
OK, I’m letting that go because of my smartass remark about Cincinnati.
niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice cock!
Just watched a crossover commercial for the latest Fast & Furious with… the PGA Tour’s playoffs.
uhhhhh, that seems an odd demographic
Sheesh, I just looked that ML’s on the Houston/Baltimore game tonight.
Holy fuck ballz.
Houston on the road was -277.
Baltimore at home was +233.
Holy shit, do we suck or what?
The Yankees are OPSing 1.028 against the Baltimore Orioles this year. When they play the Yankees, every Yankee essentially becomes a slightly better version of Hank Greenberg (or a slightly worse Jimmie Foxx, if you want to be a negatron).
So…like a Jew, but better?
OH NOES YOU DINT!
Bengals Backup QB just underthrow his receivers on a Hail Mary.
I hope this is not surprising for any back-up.
Wow – the Astros and Orioles have now combined for 21 runs!
21-0 Astros, huh?
You’re close.
Damn close.
guess that BAL super-utility guy don’t have knuckleball command tonight?
You guys are kinda pissing me off.
And we’re now up to 22.
be a good son and get crunk with yer maw
Meh, she’s passed out on Benadryl and wine now. I’m in the clear.
I might as well go and jerk off.
Why not both?
Hey, I feel ya. I’ll be playing your role as DFO Bottom Bitch this NFL Season. Just grin it and bear it.
What? “What is catch?” is evolving!
(da-Da-da-Da-da-Daaaaaaaa da-Da-da-Da-da-Daaaaaaaa da-Da-da-Da-da-Daaaaaaaa)
Congratulations! Your “What is catch?” evolved into “What is pass interference?”
PI challenges are going to be such the shitshow
Cubs just walked a guy who had a chance to hit his fourth homerun in a 10-0 game. That’s bullshit!
That is bush league.
Joe Maddon is TOTES that kind of douche
#BFIB get a Little League HR, thanks to some Dirt Stiller comedia.
Cubs fan dressed in Harry Carey just did a Marriage Proposal in the Diamond Seats behind homeplate. Sadly, Beth texted yes.
How would you like a tidy hitman assignment?
My mother was doing yardwork today and hit a yellowjacket nest. She got stung at least a dozen times.
Now she’s wigged out on Benadryl and white wine.
It’s gonna be a long night.
I tore down Poison Oak that was 15 feet high. I wore a Tyvek suit and gloves, but I’ll know soon if it worked.
Drugs and booze will knock her out, it is the morning I would worry about- D. Sharper
Seriously though, hope she is ok.
Yeesh, tell her random guy on the ‘net wishes her well and to drink wine until she can’t function.
/went to Tijuana Upstairs Medical College
Take-out Indian food, bourbon, and beer. Time to preview the Yinzers.
/six hours later
“I’ll do it tomorrow.”
RIP your butthole
Rip it good.
Holy shit, Aquino!
— The Philippines, 1986,
Just got here, this is the message I would have gone with!
FWIW, Mountain Standard Time fucks with Hippo’s brain cavity. Took my kid and her dog to the Boulder reservoir today, that was a nice experience.
Everyone here is jaw-droppingly attractive.
(sigh) I did it. I survived the offseason.
(and on cue the Bengals fumble)
Your Redlegs’ been doing teh LAWD’s work, though. Guess that’s allowed, now that all y’all’s attention is on the Striped Pylons.
On that note, please do tell how Ryan Finley looks.
Dalton looked like 2015-version Dalton against the Backup Chiefs.
Mahomes made Bengals D look like a Pee Wee Football team.
Watching the Bengals preview. There is something cleansing about hearing “Taylor’s Bengals” and remembering that Marvin Lewis is gone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBiSFozlJw0
Only #27? What kind of fucking bullshit is this asshole eating piece of Michigan talking about?!
It played 32 for me….
Oh Hai!!!!
Upon further review, the first Transformers movie holds up. Its probably because it still has the nostalgia filter of being the first live-action Transformers movie, but its probably because it only have one main story that goes from A to B to C. Not like the other movies where there are multiple stories and subplots going from A to E to -B to C to the Wth power.
Upon further review, Jared Leto still sucks as Joker sucks in Suicide Squad. I know he was trying to leave his own mark while having the unfortunate role of following up Heath Ledger’s Joker, which is an impossible task. But he still went too far and too weird. That’s not Joker; he’s crazy but he’s in control of the crazy. Plus, I think he was confused because at times with the purring his character was closer to Catwoman that it was Joker.
And as always, despite further review, I still have trouble finding the flaws in me.
Hey Scotchy, you weren’t a fan of the Mets the first time they won the World Series, right?
Oh, great! Now I want to nail the Statue of Liberty!
Is Rams Raiders being played in Barstow?
Drew Lock footage WOO
You will never look at that choice objectively, will you?
NO.
So 2 Aussie friends and I were driving from the Grand Canyon to LA and my buddy’s missus booked us a hotel in Barstow. SHe went and checked in and he and I went for a smoke. I saw a guy clear across a strip mall parking lot. I said to my buddy “If this guy comes over here and wants to bum a cigarette we are outta here. Deal?” He agreed and buddy came over and asked. I started laughing and gave him 5 cigarettes, and we left. The room smelled like bleach (dead person?) there was a boiler in the hallway. I do not feel bad losing our 1 night stay and continuing on to LA.