Seriously, I’m not joking. August 12 is “Middle Child Day”. It’s official and everything!!!!!!
HEY LOOK IT’S THE NEW JAN BRADY!!!!!
marsha, Marsha, MARSHA!!!!!
OK, enough of that stupidity. I was delayed today and I’m running out of time so I gotta write this fast.
- As I mentioned last night, Antonio Brown wanted to continue wearing a model of helmet which had been banned a year ago or else he was threatening to not play the 2019 season. The NFL stood their ground on the issue, and he caved. I guess it’s better to get used to a new helmet than not make millions of dollars a year. Can’t say I blame him.
- Dak Dak Dak thinks he’s worth $40mil a year. He’s good, but he ain’t $40mil a year good. Sorry buddy.
- Philadelphia is still Philadelphia, in spite of what you might think. BROTHERLY LOVE BABY!!!!
- Nevin Lawson misbehaved a little apparently.
- Chad Thomas suffered a neck injury in practice, but apparently will not suffer a “Ryan Shazier”. Ryan Shazier had this to say … “Fuck That Guy!!!”. (OK, I said that, not Shazier, but only because I thought it was funny). Thomas is expected to make a full recovery but he is now listed “day to day” as far as returning to the field, diagnosed with a neck sprain.
- And shockingly, the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets, have absolutely no clue what to do with Le’veon Bell.
- How ya doing over there, Yinzers?
- Ravens’ fans laugh quietly.
Heheh, speaking of a sprained neck, I sprained my neck once while….well, never mind…
–
Sports Which Will Make You Feel Left Out 2Nite
MLB
- Boston @ Cleveland – 7:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN
(and yes, the Orioles already lost once today to the Yanks….they’ll get another chance at 7pm)
NFL
- Redacteds @ Cleveland – 7:00pmEDT – TV: NFLN
(again, spoiler alert, this game is four days old and the Browns rolled in this one 30-10)
((Like I said a coupla days ago, gon’ be a long year in the AFC North))
Little League Softball
Yeah, knowing you perverts I shouldn’t even tell you where to find this one.
It’s on one of the ESPNs you sick fuckers.
And as an aside, I could get a hit off of Jennie Finch.
OK, maybe not. But I’d still be willing to buy her dinner.
Oooooof.
–
Time To Get It Going
OK folks, it’s Monday night. Not much to watch. You’re gonna have to talk it up and entertain one another.
Make me proud.
(and if you’re a middle child….I’m sure you’ll be just fine)
(Unless you’re THAT kid)
((He’s screwed))
–
It’s baby vamp!
https://giant.gfycat.com/PhysicalThickCockroach.mp4
Oy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUrs1Vj8QSA
I still love Grumman’s f-14.
Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis agree.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jekZYSYQN0Y&t=96s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XlvJ_L4_UQ
I really want to get my rotary rating and buy a Huey. But it’s too expensive and I’m too old.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRd-yMT_5NE
Hey tWBS, I’ll make you a deal:
We’ll split helicopter pilot school. I’ll take half the classes, you take the others;
We’ll split the cost of buying a helicopter;
The helicopter has two sets of controls. You do your part and I’ll do my part.
What could go wrong?
Ummmmm….are we gonna be drunk?
Asking for a friend.
We’ll be extra drunk and coked-up too.
I’M IN!!!!!!!
WE DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ PARACHUTES
Do you guys need someone to man the kegerator?
We might need you as a RIO. But yes, bring the kegerator.
That plane always did confound me. Four turbo props and two jets.
FUCK YOU AIR AND GRAVITY!!!!!
Plus extra kerosene in the wing-tip tanks only for the jet engines.
Kerosene, really? I did not know that.
Jet Fuel is kerosene with some anti-corrosive additives.
Piston engines (cars or planes) run on gasoline, which is a fractional distillate cocktail. Kerosene is very easy to make.
How did I never know that?
You know it now.
Seriously, I did not know Jet Fuel was a kerosene base.
So is Saturn V rocket fuel. Half HIGHLY refined kerosene and half liquid oxygen. The Russians never figured out that part.
They were trying to make it go faster, to keep up with the new jets.
Also, those aren’t turboprops they’re R-4360 piston engines, which at that time were fueled by 150-octane leaded aviation gasoline.
Ooooooooh, yeah!
The drugs kicked in?
I’m a pervert but at least I didn’t make a post that’s on the front page of reddit about how this looks like a sex toy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws1YIKsuTjQ
First time I heard of that was in “Nuthin But a G Thing” because of my overwhelming whiteness.
You know what’s always an accomplishment? Holding in a fart through a yoga class.
Bigger accomplishment: Letting it out, slowly, loudly, and informing the class, “I call that Floating The Biscuit” while keeping your eyes shut and exhaling evenly.
I’m legit crying. Oh, wow. That’s amazing.
Also, mmmmmm … Biscuit.
Hey, some of that worth was the Tumblr equivalent of camgirls! Or so I’ve been told…
And BDSM gifs.
Carrot crotch.
I wonder what happens from here.
Incest.
Ince$t.
Yeah, when I did the same thing….. maybe it was because I was wearing a different helmet.
When is Inner Child Day?
Never now that Epstein is dead.
We’ve still got priests.
Never now that Meghan McCain self-aborted hers.
Too soon?
Not soon enough.
– Meghan McCain, regarding her post=appetizer dessert.
This is just a wonderfully delicious layer cake
Wait… Chris is the dumb Cuomo brother?
Tallest man on Pygmy Island?
“Pure racism” is a bit of a stretch. He’s probably just confused. We all know guineas ain’t too bright.
No #BFIB and I am now tired of Colorado. Though I did drive by a mountain town store called “The Lazy Moose”
Tired of Colorado? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Errrr….. never mind, JK, take off, this is a TERRIBLE place; you shouldn’t visit. You’ll just hate it. Anywhere else is better, nothing to do, just avoid it.
h
ttps://media.giphy.com/media/AR84ZS673UsqQ/giphy.gif
Hmmmm, when I have visited I have had weed, beer, punk music, and skiing.
QUIET!
He’s lying folks, just another Big City Council Stooge.
Maybe he just needs to turn off Rio Bravo
Speaking of legal weed.
My oldest child was born 12 August. Fuck off, Unnecessary “Days”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPpcfH_HHH8
No one ever mentions the Schweddy Weiner bit, where one of them does break character. Probably because you can’t ever fucking find a video of it. I have an mp3 of it, though, which seems appropriate given that the premise is a deadpan NPR show.
As an aside, another bit that is criminally forgotten featuring Christopher Walken: Colonel Angus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l2oi-X8P38
I guess you’re going to have to suffer through the NBC site.
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-delicious-dish/n11456
Not watching WWE shows anymore, most of the news I get from it comes in meme form, and frankly, it’s a significantly better product that way.
This should be a Yes Yes No.
I hope tomorrow’s Cardinals preview communicates through prose the metamorphosis of my anger and hate for the Cardinals to a mature despising that I will never otherwise verbally communicate as I continue to follow the team while silently rooting against them, their fans, etc; all while not at all letting it otherwise impact my life, thus not allowing that franchise to win.
Not that winning has ever been their strength.
But will you still listen to the hot taeks on Phoenix radio? I do enjoy your stories.
You know, I always streamed that so I can honestly say it may very well happen. In fact, it may be the only content I’ll actively enjoy consuming.
Nothing on? So I have to do work?
House in PHX closed.
Buy low sell high, that’s what I always say.
Now I just get to be neighbors with everyone bailing from beingYeah Right’s and RTD’s neighbors.
I just assume no one ever leaves San Diego then.
Congrats! Enjoy the Vegas meth.
Everyone wants to be my neighbor.
I want this but there’s no way in Hell I’d wear it. I hate shirts with logos already.
found a funny:
[when faced with a stressful decision]
I will need to eat some cheese about this
Solid decisionmaking process.
All this talk of plus and minus ones. Is there no one that can fix this mess? [light bulb brightens]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOiZP8FS5Ww
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrhJT98IoaQ
Where does it go from here? To Love + 1 by Haircut 100, of course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_msHpEa3_Y
ya ya ya ya YA!
Dirt Argos and Dirt Cowboys is fun….
Seeing this going around Twitter and laughing at the idea of Jerral crippling his team because the only thing they can do is cherry pick a handful of stats
> BENGALS: UNDEFEATED IN WILD CARD ROUNDS SINCE 1978 PLAYOFF EXPANSION (EXCLUDES 2005, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 AND THE STRIKE SHORTENED SEASON OF 1982)
I hope you guys beat the 500s this year.
Once again, Bob’s Burgers reruns are the best thing on TV tonight.