Your “I Made It All The Way To Thursday For This?” Thursday Night Open Thread

Wow. This game. THIS GAME. It’s got ‘turgid’ written all over it, don’t it? But we’ll make the most of it as we always do. I don’t even know where to start but I’ve no choice. TO THE GAME!

Titans/Jags:

Jalen Ramsey insists that this will be his last time donning this uni so in a way he’s a bit of a Jag-off. There’s a ton of rumbling on various fan sites that Old Man Coughlin is rewarding certain players that are ‘company men’ and taking a hard line with other dudes that are out-performing their contracts. Yeah, it’s true-there is more than one fan site devoted to the Jaguars.

Also making the best of a bad situation? A certain Minshew, that’s who. Of course he’s not being asked to do a heck of a lot but when he his O-line creates a clean pocket he makes the vast majority of his throws. Those throws tend to be along the sidelines-he hasn’t attacked the center of the field much yet and tonight wouldn’t be a good time to start because gifted safety Kevin Byard will be waiting. Look for a long toss or three to wr Chark, the possessor of 4.3 forty speed. But you and I both know that we’ll be seeing plenty of Fournette and Henry this game because both teams don’t trust their qbs, I mean, love to run. Which of those two bipedal Sherman tanks will win out? Who can say?

But yeah, Jack’s O is ranked 29th and the Titans are 25th. The last three games between these teams have averaged 26.3 points. Betting-wise the over/under is 39 and the Titans are 4-17 straight up on the road against their AFC South brethren. If the football gods are cranky we’re looking at a 16-6 final score. If they got laid last night we might luck into 17-10. It’s gonna be that bad.

Do your worst.

 

 

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Sharkbait

Foles and I have the same sling. I wear it better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

/Does best Sling Blade voice

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is Foles contributing to the game, or is that just his iPod earbud?

jjfozz

He’s listening to Celine Dion’s greatest hits

Viva La Tabula Raza

You’d think he could afford a speaker for each ear so he could at least listen in stereo.

Doktor Zymm

His earbud is all by itself

Viva La Tabula Raza

So he could be an Eric Carmen fan as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzoazPPC7b8

jjfozz

THIS MARCUS MARIOTTA, I CALL HIM BLACK CORAL, BECAUSE WHEN YOU TAKE HIM OFF THE ISLAND OF HAWAII, YOU’RE CURSED WITH BAD LUCK

Sharkbait

Ok that was an impressive throw

jjfozz

If I was stranded on Hoth, and my tauntaun was actually Joe Buck, I would have a tough time deciding whether to cut him open and climb inside, or watching him slowly freeze to death.

I hate Joe Buck like the ACLU hates Donald Trump.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know if the ACLU actually hates the Sentient Overflowing Colostomy Bag in the WH; after all, he keeps them in business.

Brocky

Hey man, if luke can wait for his noble steed to die, you can deal with it

theeWeeBabySeamus

It would really help me if Tennessee’s D could do something good.
HIPPO IS ALREADY KICKING MY ASS!!!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

You can’t fool me, Fox broadcast team. Rodney Harrison retired from the NFL over 10 years ago. Fake News!

WCS

I’m starting to think Marcus is ungood.

Viva La Tabula Raza

He certainly is tonight.

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Halftime, checking in on the Baltimore Orioles to see what….

Never mind.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Why do they keep emphasizing “The Second” so hard? Is he Redneck Royalty?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Maybe he can’t get it up again?
Wait what are we talking about?

Sharkbait

Mrs. Sharkbait:…..This is a very boring game. Not amused.

*Baby is restless*

Mrs Sharkbait: See? Even baby thinks this is awful.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Joe Buck started complaining?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Didn’t you put in some sort of post-hypnotic commands for this situation?

Sharkbait

Too many more of these TNF games and this kid might never come out.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hey! a midget/short person in a vest just strolled by in the background on the field.

jjfozz

Lamar, I’m not a metrosexual by any stretch, but god please cut your hair

Brick Meathook

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WCS

This is the Fifth Seal of Hell.

Spur

I think am drunk

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, at least we didn’t have to watch some horrible band I’ve never heard of play a song in front of a bunch of people who were probably fed a bunch of free drinks to put them in the mood to look like they are into said horrible band I’ve never heard of, which is apparently a thing on MNF this season.

WCS

It’s like a shitty Super Bowl Halftime Show, only shittier! And every week!

/mixes bleach with ammonia

Viva La Tabula Raza

I did that once when I was a teenager in order to make the place REALLY clean, and went to the hospital.

jjfozz

Greetings and salutations, you scurvy, crusty group of lovable bastards

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, I get plenty of citrus

LemonJello

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I didn’t realize Pixar did a re-boot of One Froggy Evening with virtual Michigan J. Frog.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Haven’t decided yet if I regret coming to the gym, but my body feels how Mariota looks out there

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, but at least the weather is nice in Jax.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Here where I am we haven’t had any rain all summer, my lawn is crispy brown, and yes, that JAX rain would be very welcome. Glass half full, I haven’t had to mow the yard since early June.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Stubble headed dude needs to decide to shave or grow a beard, not fucking both.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Forget it Joe Buck, Brady ain’t listening and ain’t coming back to your broadcast, he’s balls-deep in Giselle by now.

Dunstan

Is it just me, or does Vrabel look a little like Jim Tomsula?

King Hippo

good call!

Petronel

When Dumb & Dumber are THIS bored…it ain’t a good game.

Brocky

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Mother Puncher

I went to high school with her

Brocky

……don’t tell Seamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Say what now? Hello? Is this mic on?

Brocky

Did you see my pic from the previous page?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Indeed. Where do you think I’ve been for the past half hour?
It’s like you don’t know me at all. Sheeesh.

Brocky

….. I’m surprised it took you a half hour

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s the journey, not the destination.

JustStopDude

I am dangerous drunk .

Co-workers today said I look thin. I didn’t have the balls to tell them I am work day drinking again for calories.

JustStopDude

Working with my co-workers or workday drinking?

I am only willing to stop one of those things.

JustStopDude

Well then fuck Kathy from HR.

JustStopDude

Only if you weight her by the quarter ton.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve lost just over 100 lbs since my bypass surgery, and when the occasional person who hasn’t seen me since before the surgery exclaims over my new look and asks how I did it, I tell them that my next door neighbor started a meth lab.

Viva La Tabula Raza

At my age, that would be stretching the limits of credibility.

Viva La Tabula Raza

sometimes i am pretty fucking oblivious. A lot of times, actually.

Don T

3rd down passes behind the line of scrimmage are like a virgin’s prayer to get laid.

King Hippo

no esta via del Erotic Smashmouth

Brocky

If brady’s complaining leads to better reffing….

Does it mean dreamboat’s powers were used for good?

LemonJello

Da fuq does he know about bad calls?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, he certainly gets the benefit of many bad calls, so maybe he is somewhat conversant in them.

Sharkbait

Ok, as a Patriots fan, that was a tad over the top there Fox.

herodotus450

Has the league smartened up yet and scheduled every team’s bye week to be the week before they play on Thorsday?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m getting flashbacks like I am watching the P*ts play back in the late 80s/early 90s.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

FACK YOU, THE PATS DIDN’T PLAY UNTIL THE BLEDSOE ERA, NO ONE DENIES THIS

Dunstan

WHO THE FACK IS BLEDSOE?

Brocky

A teenaged patriots fan is in the natipnal spelling bee

Moderator: your word is Bledsoe

Pats fan: sentence please?

Moderator: Quarterback Drew Bledsoe played in the NFL for 13 years

Pats fan (while sweating profusely): … country of origin?

Don T

Cristina Pink is wonderful.
That is all.

King Hippo

ahem, Kristina ur love is nae pure liek mine

Don T

ESL.
E
S
L

King Hippo

#MeToo I prefer to only speak Hippo smh

Mother Puncher

I hope next week there’s a news story saying Jalen has decided to stay after becoming best friends with his new quarterback

litre_cola

Is it raining or are the playing this one in Belgrade and the Jax ultras are at their shit again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really glad I started Mariota since I was worried about Cam Sunday.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(2 QB league)

Viva La Tabula Raza

This is pretty fucking awful.

Brocky

…..so typical Thursday night Jacksonville football

King Hippo

but el beisbol on KMOX is giving me quite the raging semi

/sorry FOAR unfortunate visuals

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Boooooooooo

King Hippo

Maddon’s getting the sack, and El Birdos putting the final nails in the coffin WOO

Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like Rudy’s on the comeback trail.

Sharkbait

He was offside.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So I’ve decided that I should drink more single malt Scotch. But it’s prohibitively expensive for someone who can put down a 750ml bottle in two or three nights. So I’ve been experimenting with some bottom shelf stuff, and I think I might be able to stand my latest acquisition. It’s a Speyside called GlenParker, and it headfakes you because the label looks a little like a Glenfiddich label, down to a picture of a stag. I paid about $24 for a 750. The label claims it is matured in oak barrels for “a period of years” but does not specify how many exactly, so I’m suspecting 24 (months). Not too bad. And the bottle comes in a handy canister.comment image

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

You can get a solid bottle of basic Glenmorangie for 35. Don’t do this bottom shelf thing to yourself

Sharkbait

This. Bad Scotch hangovers are the absolute worst.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I usually only have three glasses over the course of the evening so hangovers don’t usually figure into the picture. But I will continue my quest, including looking into the Reverend’s suggestion.

Sharkbait

Glenfiddich 12 is another solid single malt below $40 (usually)

Don T

With coconut water even Cutty Sark sings

Don T

J&B wants its bottle back

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t get held up on single malt or specific brands. Find out what you like and figure out what tastes like it. For example, do you like Talisker? Isle of Skye 8 is mainly Talisker with some other shit blended in, dirt cheap, and delicious. Need it to be smoother, try Glengoyne or another of the less famous single malt focus distilleries. Write into the mailbag with your taste preferences and I’ll give you a bunch of if, then recs.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(You can write into the mailbag here)

Viva La Tabula Raza

Will do, once I figure out what I really like. Back in the late 90’s/early aughts when I was travelling to Europe every couple months and the Euro was weak, I’d pick up a couple of bottles of high dollar 12 to 18 y.o. single malts at the duty free at Malpensa in Milan, and would present them to my scotch-loving but cheap bastard father in a show of filial piety. It got to the point where he had like 18 or 20 bottles in various states of fullness or emptiness and decided to sit down and do a taste test comparison of them all. With another willing accomplice, we split a shot of each example (we decided if we each did 18 or 20 full shots, the results might get skewed towards the end).
Short version, the consensus favorite was Balvenie Doublewood and remains my favorite when cost does not come into the calculation (i.e. when I go to the packy with a buzz already on).

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Monkey Shoulder is my Hidden Gem.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Duly noted, thanks, will look for it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Meh

Sharkbait

Am I the only one that kind of misses the two tone Jax helmet?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Yes

Gratliff

The fuck is this “Only defend fournette” bullshit?

Gratliff

Booooooooooooooo

Brocky

Pretty sure the titans have a top 5 defense these first two games, this wasn’t that far fetched to happen

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Only defend the border with Germany against invasion with the Maginot Line, those Huns will never come through Belgium a second time in 20 years.”

—French General Staff.

Don T

Jim Beam take me away…

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

So…maybe that nice lady from the other night isn’t busy?

Don T

I dint call her for this. That’s on me.

King Hippo

aka, Tennessee State Motto

entropy

YEEEEAAAAHHH WE’RE DOWN BY 14!!! ELITE DEFENSE!

Spur

805 on tap is not that bad

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They keep putting it on sale at the grocery stores around here and it’s been delightful.

King Hippo

Ramsey has a magnificent fro

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d like to meet his tailor.

Brocky

So Seamus, i haven’t been watching much WWE latley, decided to tune in the other night, and this happened:

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LemonJello

We’ve had Odd Week Jaguras, Even Week Jaguras and now Every Three Weeks Jaguras?