There’s more? There’s more.
TO THE GAMES!
Potato Skins/Bills:
The extremely raw yet not-ready rook qb Dwayne Haskins will get his helmet handed to him today. It won’t be pretty and we should see Sheriff Colt McCoy sometime after Haskins’ confidence is shattered. I’m rolling with Devin Singletary today because I want to be there when he busts out. You may want to fade McLaurin here. Duh.
Vikes/Chiefs:
There was a Mahomes teaser about him playing today which I thought was hooey but the Brees thing happened last week so… Yeah, it was hooey. Thielin and his wonky hammy are back and Diggs did yeoman work while he was gone. The running and passing game are going gangbusters for Minny and that should be enough to get by Moore and Co.
Jets/Fins:
The Bleerg factor is so very high here. I won’t lie-I’ll be tuning in here and there for the entertainment. Unfrozen Caveman QB-do your worst!
Bears/Eagles:
You’ve no choice but to play rb Montgomery after last week but the Eagles run D is a feisty bunch. They allow the sixth-least points to running backs in fantasy. D-Jax is back finally and he makes a world of difference to the passing game.
Colts/Steelers:
Conner’s out so Jaylen Samuels gets the rock. You may also want to take a swing at Diontae Johnson, the rook wr that’s been showing out lately-he’s got a good matchup vs. Rock Ya-Sin.
Titans/Panthers:
Tannehill hasn’t been bad recently-certainly an upgrade over Mariota, but I think he comes back to earth here. Carolina has a nice set of cb’s that hold down the fort. We think of McCaffrey as the more explosive back in this matchup but Henry actually has more 15+ yard runs than his counterpart.
Do your typing.
Rudolph needs some of that Rex Grossman swagger and say “Fuck it, I’m throwing down field.”
Back from a 6.5 mile walk. I see the bears have as much interest in football as I do today.
How are you all today.
I’m okay. How are you?
REally hungover from a stag. Just ordered food so all will be well shortly.
Not too bad. taking an afternoon off from cooking.
Stuck working open-close at the course today. Thank god for Redzone.
All three games I have are on commercial break. Yet another example of the breakdown of democracy in the United States. You guys are up against it big time. Good luck.
We are all gonna die, horribly and slowly.
If you’ve got a 50 bill I could make it happen real quick. We could even make it a game. DM me.
What about 5000 pennies?
Hmmm, well, if I rolled them all up and put them in a sock I could probably use them to bash you into the afterlife. I guess my answer is ‘yes’.
Okay but they’re Canadian pennies.
They could be from Yemen for all I care. Just let me do my thing.
Soorry.
BUILD A WALL AROUND THE NFL
SAFETY DANCE!
This did not age well.
Ah, I see Chicago read the part of the game plan that said “Just keep throwing it against the Eagles”
Oh hey, Trubisky completed a pass.
Was she of age?
Hey, this isn’t Mark Sanchez we’re talking about here
Of course she was, do you know nothing about the Biscuit’s proclivities? He’s not gonna be messing around with some training bra bullshit.
He just closed his eyes and thought of England.
Seems like the dolphins blew the trade deadline but not getting Jets players
2nd and 24? Colts will get 30 here.
BLEERGH got dis, don’t worry
Uggggh stag-hangover is the brain piercing variety. THROW THE DAMN BALL TO JUJU.
Shout out to the Tits, for handcuffing Dion Lewis to the damn bench. Ugh. TEN should fire the coaches and replace them with the exhumed corpses of the 3 Stooges.
I like the rumor that tb is gonna drop Rapey J and bring in Luck for Arians next year.
Luck is still under contract. If he unretired, the Colts would still have his rights. Not sure how he gets to TB.
Buc’s would have to toss them some picks, Beastmode-OAK style.
I first read that as “not sure how he gets TB” and laughed at your foolish heart for thinking someone who spent time in the Bucs locker room wouldn’t ultimately end up with tuberculosis.
Antibiotic-resistant TB is fucking terrifying and I don’t wanna think about it.
Abdulahdowns help nobody!
Jordan Howard delivering the killshot
[looks up scores]
O-M-G L-O-L J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS
Check the Bears’ offense.
Mecole with the fumbole on the kickoff.
Refs sure want a Yinzer win…
Why get 7 points when you can get 5?
CBS: ALL OF THE COP SHOWS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy4YFDSDW4w
Jest can dance if they wannu…
YOU MIGHT WANT TO RUN OFF-TACKLE WITH YOUR GAME-BREAKING ROOKIE BACK INSTEAD OF RUNNING AN OLD MAN UP THE MIDDLE FOR THE FIFTH FUCKING TIME. JUST SAYING, BUFFALO.
I’m gonna defend Gore here, cuz the line’s just getting submarined to hell. He just tripped over his own offensive lineman getting pushed back on a short-yardage dive.
STILL, if the defense knows what you’re doing and has beaten it four times now, maybe try something else, yeah.
I’m a Gore guy-it’s the frustration over a dickbag OC doing the same thing over and over. So stupid.
Why do the Bills insist on using Gore when they have the stud named Devin Singletary? The Bills coaching staff are fucknuts.
I was yelling so loudly I didn’t see your comment. Apologies.
MOAR YELLING
How many coaches will the Jets be paying next year? Three? Four? More?
yes
Khalil Mack should Nancy Kerrigan Trubisky in the locker room
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjUQMs0kVEI
I thought we agreed as a society to call that “a Gilooly”?
Reversed touchdown Darnoldception?
REVERSED TOUCHDOWN DARNOLDCEPTION!
Those Make-A-Wish kids get all the breaks
Which kid asked for Reversed Touchdown Darnoldception Safety? We should invite him/her to DFO.
Loving this Adam Gase Shame Bowl
The only human emotion Adam Gase can not feel – Love.
Pretty sure “pride” is unlikely.
“The Bug-Eyed Boy That Brought Two NFL Franchises Even Further Down.”
The Adam Gase Story
Is it too late for a Balls Search Term™?
“Gap integrity”
Never too late.
“After the review, we still refuse to pull our heads out of our butts.”
-NFL Refs
Kurt hits Dirt
Am going to jinx myself here but i bet the farm on the Fish today. I even took them in all my eliminator leagues.
I’ll buy a new rowing machine should I win.
“Shit, we’re up 14, better give up a long kickoff return.” -Miami Dolphins
Can you call a prevent kickoff? Asking for a friend.
So when the Jets played the Bills tight in week 1 and trounced the Cowboys, were those just glitches in the Matrix or what here, cuz the Dolphins are whupping them.
Dolphins going to call a quadruple reverse to increase chance to fumble
So help me god, if Adam Gase is not fired out of the plane home from this terrible fucking game, I’m going to the Meadowlands tomorrow and committing a hate crime.
-Proud Boys
I’d say it’s more of a “love crime” in that you’re doing it out of love for everyone else.
What a shitty OPI against Treadwell. A fucking joke.
You fool. It was called intentionally so the booth could overturn it so they could silence all your complaints about bad PI calls never being overturned.
IT’S A NEW YORK CONSPIRACY! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
I knew they hated us folks in northern Ontario!
They practice all their theories and techniques in the CFL first before using it on Americans.
Five and a half miles in perfect weather. The VW collectors were back at Dockweiler today and I saw a perfectly preserved VW Thing. I didn’t know there was such a thing.
Was “It’s Clobbering Time!” written on the hood?
It was indeed gorgeous out there along the beach
Dalvin has 27 yards vs. the vaunted KC D.
Raiders won the trade. Bears are picking top 5.
Pickers in the top 5 please allow us to bump thee.. bears doing the Humpty draft
Bears move up to +1 net yard. You hate to see it.
Plenty of time for Bisquick to lose yards.
Take that, Tyreek! Teach you to be open for days.
I think I just heard my pool guy’s name playing safety for the Jets
WELL LA-DI-DA! CHECK OUT MISTER I HAVE A POOL OVER HERE!
😀
It’s a kiddy pool. It’s a miracle he hasn’t been arrested yet.
Coming soon to literally every corner in the country:
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/EIeFhaPXkAI13Ja.jpg
And then when a lawyer gets tickets and sees they haven’t been calibrated when they’re supposed to be they’ll all come down.
Honestly, this isn’t the worst thing in the world. If this is what it takes for safety, then so be it.
You can get away with up to 9 over, but the speed limit’s 25.
Cut all the kickers
We larfed and harfed about the Steelers going all in on a lost season, but they do basically get 6 free wins on account of playing Cin, Cleve, Miami, and NY.
Well fuck, just realized I’m gonna have to mow the lawn, hopefully for the last time, now due to DST and the darkness encroaching early on something besides my soul.
Later taters.
Chicago currently sitting at -2 net yards. Fingers crossed for the negative half time total
Knew I should have taken Chi**** in Loser Pool, I just ain’t trust Dakota Jeebus
You can not mathematically explain how many times more yards the Eagles have than the Bears
They shouldn’t be allowed to come back out after the break. Treat it like Final Jeopardy.
Damn — pretty sure my FF squad is facing the PIT D.
So the Clots not only have the Pats’ backup qb (Brisset), they also have the Pats’ backup backup qb (Hoyer)?
Hoyer was the spark that the Colts needed, apparently.
Indy is soaking wet Hoyer Cuntry!
Even if the Bears had drafted Mahomes over Trubisky, I guarantee you that they would have still fucked up their development in the exact same manner.
They wouldn’t know what to do with a qb that has talent.
And the “… can’t play quarterback” takes would just change from “Jews” to “sons of New York Mets pitchers”