Your “Hallelujah or Heartbreak?” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Did Fitzmagik come through? I’ve no way of knowing because I’m writing this at 10am EST and I can’t see the past from this here future.

TO THE GAMES!

Chargers/Jags:

Mike Williams had 10 TD’s on just 64 targets so he was a sexy fantasy pick back in August. Before he was dropped long ago by his owners he rewarded them with a big, fat zero 6 spots. With a bit more Williams magic he might become just the twelfth player with 700+ receiving yards and nada to show for it. That weirdo stat seems to be code for the Chargers entire season, don’t it?

Titans/Raiders:

Since he grabbed the reins in week 7, Tannyhill is fantasy’s QB5. My question: How does this make any sorta sense? His best wr is ranked #43 and his te is #20. But this team belongs to Henry and the Titans will ride him until the wheels fall off.

Chiefs/Pats:

Perhaps the smoke and mirrors show finally comes to an end here? Brady is delivering some god-awful stat lines week after week because he has no difference-makers at wr-no one that can bust off a huge chunk play. Edelman is fine as a first down picker-upper but that’s about it. I’m looking forward to the battle between Tyreek and the Pats secondary because you know Mahomes is gonna take his shots and why would he bother directing them at that bum Sammy Watkins?

Steelers/Cards:

What do we do with Kyler? His running ability keeps him in the fantasy starter conversation as does his 6 games with 2 or more TD throws. But what about those other 6 games with no TD tosses at all? Do you trust him, at home, vs. the Steelers, in your fantasy playoffs? Very tough call. As far as younger brothers of established pass rushers are concerned you could do worse than T.J. Watt and his 15 sacks.

Bring it. Again.

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King Hippo

STOP BEING A DUMBASS, KELCE

Horatio Cornblower

NFL officiating is so goddamn bad.

King Hippo

Is Mike Tomlin high or sommet? You had a 10-point lead with 8 to play. Against a nothing offense.

WCS

Looked like Berry bobbles the snap and panicked.

King Hippo

ah, ok. Muchas gracious para el clarificado.

King Hippo

way to waste your challenge, fuckadoo

King Hippo

if you challenge, and the spot is bad but still a first down? Challenge loses.

Redshirt

If the Chiefs blow this one, we’re not going to need the meteor. God Himself will become an Atheist and we’ll all blink out of existence.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, after that non-call I guess the Chiefs will be allowed to breath on Brady without getting a flag.

Don’t even think about hitting him, though.

WCS

Mike Tomlin hates his punter.

Old School Zero

Refs giving Mahomes the Cam Newton treatment already

King Hippo

He IS pretty uppity. – Every sports talk radio listener

bk109

So, uhhh… Smoking got cancelled on account of A GODDAMN BEAR IN MY YARD (and not my brother in law, who for some unfathomable reason is a die-hard Bearistocrats fan)… @balls thanks for the offer, but I’m not sure what I’m gonna do with it still (if it wasn’t a gift from Mom for graduating college, sure…)

King Hippo

So…bear stew for Monday Night Arsenal footy??

bk109

No, just means that if I want to go smoke, I must take the Saiga with me – for self defence purposes only, for a tank-owning gun nut, I rather hate hunting and dread the thought of killing an innocent animal.

Redshirt

Shane McMahon is an Anti-Terrorist Agent? Oh, no. I don’t want to root for the Terrorists!

bk109

Heh, back from the days when Drew actually put some effort into his writing. Brings a tear to my eye and a burning sudden-onset Massholeitis to my soul 😀

Gratliff

Being a Vikings fan finally broke him, I think

King Hippo

that, plus the oxygen depletion

bk109

And the unfortunate Pats resurgence in the 10’s… Pretty sure 28-3 affected him more than the bloody ATL faithful

Gratliff

38-7 was the very next year. Sticking with the Vikings thing.

King Hippo

el Tractorcito with a blown tire is STILL maybe the 3rd best back in the League

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why did Tyrod Taylor vulture a passi g TD from Marmalard? This playoff game is going to come down to the wire for me.

King Hippo

they’s winning by like 40 points in Q4?

King Hippo

Good jerb, DL (and they have been balls-out great)

Doktor Zymm

“Execute plan Bail Out Brady”

Old School Zero

J. Boger, Special Teams, New England, reporting for duty

King Hippo

oh godfuckingdamnit Chefs

King Hippo

Red Rocket might want to fake a boo-boo before next week’s fixture.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

You guys are laughing but the last time this happened to the Patriots, Darth Hoodie said “We’re on to Cincinnati” and next Monday night they recreated that scene from “The Accused”, “Deliverance”, “Jaded”, “I Spat on Your Grave”, Quantum Leap Season 4 Episode 6, half the Law and Order: SVU episodes, about a fifth of the Lifetime movies, and somehow an episode of Tale Spin with my team as the guest of honor, all in sixty football minutes.

That wasn’t an enjoyable Sunday night.

Old School Zero

Well, whattya know… they’re up against Cincy next week.

King Hippo

I was just typing about this below!!

King Hippo

Just realized – Donks WOO!!! could be catching another team coming down off an emotional high next week…

Mr. Ayo

It’s like everyone forgot 28-3.

King Hippo

I said could

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t sleep at all well this week, and though I caught up but the lovely 3 hour nap I just had disagrees

Gratliff

The audacity to boo a team like the Patriots with a 10-2 record off another super bowl win

Old School Zero

Clearly Belichick will prostrate himself before the fans, rend and tear his garments, and beg, beg, beg for their forgiveness and favor, as he has always put the fans first in his time with the team. He definitely, totally, absolutely, deeply gives a fuck about what they think.

King Hippo

He gets to say “on to Cincinnati” again in tonight’s (presumably brief) presser, too

King Hippo

Hey, we are a country where roughly 60% of white people think the REEL racism is against them wen u think about it.

Old School Zero

The Christmas Season, or as it is known in modern times, “Your Amazon Order Is On The Way!”

ballsofsteelandfury

If bk109 is still around:

I will pay for you to send me that Hernandez jersey you thought you threw out. A certain Litre in Canadia is owed some prizes…

Reply if you’re #upforit.

Mistborn Impossible

What % of Pats fans will literally drive home crying if the Ppats lose? What % will drive home fucking pissed off and blaming the unfair refs and the Dems and whoever for the loss?

Redshirt

74.2%
166.67%

LemonJello

Seems legit. But again, I was assured there would be no math.

King Hippo

drive home DRUNK and crying

“the troopahs will understand ow-aaaah suffahing”

Redshirt

A moment of silence for the last grilling of the year here at Casa de Camisa Roja.

Old School Zero

/bows head
/drools
/in the distance, the crackling of the all consuming inferno that awaits us

King Hippo

The very SECOND Clippers du Merde enter the garbage time portion of their season? A MACHINE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Old School Zero

As it was, so it shall be

bk109

Wooohoo – kiddos are about to keel over, so cigar time nao and then Laptop setup time … time!
Show of hands – RTX2060M’s would be a bit of an overkill for pre-teens,right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I recognize that couch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The porn casting couch? SWEET!

bk109

Let’s be real – for a lot of those wankers, the Pats winning IS the way things have been done since time immemorial (early 2000s)… That said, it’s fans like these that make me sick – we’re 10-2.. Even if we’re absolutely buttfucked today, we’re in the playoffs… And hell, the run-in may be even a bigger cakewalk than the first half of the season. DO THOSE FUCKERS REALIZE HOW MANY FANBASES WOULD MAKE ACTUAL HUMAN SACRIFICES.. WITH WILLING TRIBUTES FOR THEM .. just to go to the Wildcard game?!

Gratliff

“THE FACK IS A PATRIOT!?” from little Tawmmy being visited by a future Tawmmy remains the single funniest line from KSK

Beerguyrob

Patriots fans booing a 10-2 team off the field like they’ve been Browns fans for 20.

LemonJello

Refs at Gillette Stadium are going to be read the riot act from NFL HQ about this first half result.

Horatio Cornblower

The home crowd booing the Pats off the field.

I’ve fathered two children and I’m not sure I’ve ever been happier.

King Hippo

THOSE ENTITLED MONKEYSHITS ARE BOOING

King Hippo

AZ and PIT playing a game of dink and Duck.

TheRevanchist

I need big D from Pitt, and a TD from McDonald’s with a side of 10 catches.

King Hippo

their one TD was special teams

King Hippo

I don’t like how KC isn’t burning a bit of clock

Horatio Cornblower

I do. It’s not their game, and every time a team gets a lead on the Patriots early and then tries to sit on it it bites them in the ass. Every damn time. Fuck ’em. Keep going.

King Hippo

you know, I think you’re right

Horatio Cornblower

Twice a day, every day.

King Hippo

Nantz is so depressed now. Fucking beautiful.

LemonJello

If that had been Dreamboat, there would have been a summary execution of the defender.

bk109

If that had been Brady, the snipers would’ve shot the defender when he was no less than 3 yards away…

LemonJello

and then billed the next of kin for the bullet(s).

bk109

What, no.. The next of kin would be incarcerated for radicalising the kid into laying an eye in the general direction of Tahmy Boi

King Hippo

Do you want hit big chunk play?
To FIRKSER!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Man, whoever wins the NFC Least is gonna have to deal with a very pissed off 13-3 playoff opponent.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you saying they might be in for an ass blasting?

King Hippo

es muy posible, Senor Moose

LemonJello

‘Dacteds? Dacteds.

King Hippo

think today’s loss mathematically precludes, sadly

Horatio Cornblower

Not to defend the Patriots, but how do you get called for holding an offensive lineman?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It happens all the time; you keep them from combination blocks.

litre_cola

EKELLLEEERRRRRRRRE

King Hippo

is 48-46 a Scorigami?

Horatio Cornblower

It was.

King Hippo

HUZZAH WEEK 14

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I see Brady has gone from playing like a G.O.A.T. and playing like a goat.

Horatio Cornblower

He’s certainly bleating like one. lobbying for late hit calls.

King Hippo

He’s out hissy-fitting even Peak Laserface

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Whoa, WHOA. Let’s pump the brakes here.

bk109

That’s harsh.. I’m pretty sure Tommy Boy’s actually a bigger whiner than “Ghost of NFL Talent Squandered” on his good days, I bet now he whines and bitches more than Mrs Rivers, when Phil gets frisky again!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Hey pal! That’s his game! He’s just competing out there!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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bk109

Back for a bit, ’cause my masochism is only bested by the surprisingly stiff wind outside (so I need to put on a hoodie that I don’t mind covering in cigar ash) 😀
Need HALP with that one: Iron Maiden A Matter Of Life And Death one or Irish Footy Team one?

King Hippo

at least you have Arsenal to look forward to tomorry

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

A very successful El Segundo Christmas parade. We had Santa on the Chevron fire truck AND the wienermobile! Plus my boys from El Segundo Brewing Company and their tragic band.

I’m feeling Christmassy!

Senor Weaselo

I’m seein’ double, four Santas!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So six?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And no Chevron H2S release!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

OH AN’ WE GON FAP

LemonJello

This isn’t some Target parking lot, Kellen Winslow, Jr. This is the DFO Clubhouse!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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