Over in the AFC it’s a foregone conclusion that the Ravens and Chiefs are gonna butt heads next week and that the games played this weekend are just a formality. NOT SO IN THE NFC, brother! Or sister. It’s none of my business as to which sibling you choose to identify as-you do you. Or someone else-WITH CONSENT!
TO THE GAME!
Vikes/Niners:
-Cousins didn’t blow chunks last week! The score aside, that was the biggest upset.
-That damn Adam Thielen ratted someone out earlier this week and is now questionable with stitches. I’m sure he’ll play but are we gonna have another “Bloody Sock” game? Will he become a right-wing nutbar after retirement? It’s too early to tell but some of the signs are there.
-Kyle Rudolf was the overtime hero last week but he’ll have some trouble versus a San Fran D that gave up but one score to the tight end position all year.
-Increasing the level of Vikes woe is the matter of lb Kwon Alexander returning from IR. Opponents pass success rate climbed to 49% while he was out. When he’s on the field that stat dips to 38%.
-Kwon and fellow lb Fred Warner defend the middle of the field very well which will force Cousins to pass to the outside which is not a strength of his. So as per usual, it’ll be up to rb Cook to pull the O out of the frying pan and into the win column.
-Before last week Minny’s record against winning teams was 1-4.
-Prediction Time! A nearly fully healthy, rested and motivated San Franny D will be the difference-Niners win 26-17.
Go at it below.
This week, on ‘Survivor’…
BFIB talking to the Rockies about Arenado? Why is Hippo here and not jerking off furiously? Or maybe he is…
I am cautiously optimistic.
/also if the Dirt Donks acquire Tyler O’Neill, good bet he hits 50 in their moon-based ballyard
And if they get TheKota Hudson, I don’t have to make a tough decision about whether to keep him next year in roto.
“They’ve got a moon base? I want to play there!”
-E. Manning, digging out his Vader cape and lightsaber
Only takes one hand to type.
And anyone taking Arenado and his contract without somehow getting him to play 81 games in Colorado is going to be sorely disappointed.
So I guess last week’s Eagles loss was irrelevant because the Vikes had no intentions of being an actual threat to anyone
correct, at least your draft position is a bit better
Bosa fell on Cousins helmet.
Uh-oh, looks like Nick Bosa reaggravated that tummy injury that cost him a year at tOSU
Did he see an interracial couple in the stands?
Goddammit, yours is much better.
Maybe he saw two guys holding hands. THIS IS NOT THE MIDDLE EAST, WHERE GUYS HOLD HANDS ALL THE TIME!
Probably just sick to his stomach, having to live in Pelosi’s district.
How is that not an ineligible receiver?
Not the first to touch it.
(schemes in Belichick)
Guys. GUYS! Is this the Dingleberry Effect in action?
I liek that.
That show was so good.
I was stunned to realize it was still on and that I’d missed an entire season. Went back to it and …eh.
Its kinda in that Peaky Blinders territory were the extra seasons aren’t really necessary but you like the characters.
Except the characters I liked are dead or obviously moving on.
Ravens-Tits maybe fun?
almost surely
Drew is not coping well on twitter.
Vikings fans react passively aggressively.
You’d think he’d be used to this shit by now. Kinda like Groundhog Day or that Tom Cruise Edge of Tomorrow movie.
Real subtle domain name, there.
yeah, I really don’t like seeing that on the screen here. Please have some discretion, folks!
It’s fitting that Navy Federal is running an ad involving a restaurant with small portions, since tiny food is a goddamn war crime.
Navy buddy of mine came by and we shared a couple bottles of wine, didn’t pay much attention to the first half (still living like a rat in a cage with the foot, so any distraction is welcome). Looks like with that muff this is over, so I guess it’s back to Amazon prime or Motor Trend app till the late game comes on.
Pardon me, do you have any grey Mostert?
You Don’t like that.
I haven’t seen a Viking lose their grip on something this bad since Harold Hadrada in 1066
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2TSYkaPU1I
Oh those Vikings. Always good for a laugh.
-Any of 4 NFL Super Bowl champions
I knew you used to write for Dennis Miller
My prediction is sorta, kinda coming true. I’m welcome.
Bonk!
How has Cris resisted yelling “and the 49ers strike gold!” on that play? Is, is he actually evolving?
Way to gain a crapload of yards quickly.
Fin
That’ll do, SKOL. That’ll do.
A stirring sight for all women: you too could be an underemployed, underpaid scapegoat we call an NFL Official.
Well shit, now that the NFL has female referees I can’t call the officials a bunch of dumb c*nts any more without sounding like some kind of sexist asshole.
What’s a middle-aged white male to do?
Blame others and vote republican.
But I don’t live in the Rust Belt!
Complain that it’s not that women can’t be good officials, but that they’re not ready yet and it’s just the hippie socialist leftist SJW cucks shoving their virtue signalling agenda down your throat that you object to.
But you have nothing against women. You have daughters! You’re even friends with some! Nothing against women at all.
/furiously scribbles notes
//misspells every third word
Isn’t changing your insult because they’re ladies sexist? You should treat them the same. They’re all du*b cun*s, men and women.
The Scene:
The San Francisco 49ers have just won the Super Owl. During the White House invite, noted MAGAsexual Nick Bosa with playful banter makes a tackles on President Trump. Trump falls to the ground with wig flying in the air hits the ground and breaks his hip. With cameras zooming in a tearful face of the President, Trump blame Colin Kaepernick calling him the N-word on national TV.
From your tapping fingers to God’s earballs.
I just came reading this…
Cousins pulled out of that run a little early, which is something you never hear in Appalachia.
Banner IMO.
Just run for the 1st Kirk..
Dingleberry pick-six incoming
This one is about over now it seems.
Time to eat something and start getting hammered for Lamar!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oSz8Xip_ho
I gotta go put the comforter in the stupid duvet cover. If you hear loud swearing from the Pacific Northwest, that means it’s going well.
Well it snowed in Vancouver so that city has shut down. Haven’t heard from BeerguyRob so he probably is in an Alive type situation in his neighboUrhood.
I lived there when it snowed literally 2 inches. Buses stopped running, people drove into ditches with abandon. It’s like seeing the end of days previewed in very stylish clothing.
The ironic moustaches were for warmth.
PIN THE CORNERS
I fucking try, but this piece of shit Ikea design has the one opening only be about half of the seam, which makes working within the fucking thing a fucking assfuck headache shitballs. Goddamnit.
OSZ Reacts Reasonably, tonight, on This Old House.
Did Bosa die? havent heard his name in awhile.
No. He just murdered a tackle with a blindside block.
didnt realize my game is on recording delay.
He just killed a man.
and now he just killed a man
I think that’s literally the first play the Vikings have run Sherman’s way. Not just a pass but I don’t think he’s even been tested in run support either.
He’s the best in the game, all around I think. Still hard to see him in a 49er jersey. Really wish the Seahawks could’ve kept him.
Oh sure, she laughs. But when I do that I get slapped.
Do you have a tongue like that? If you did, you might not get that slap. “Scuse me while I lick my eyebrows.”
TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS
HOX!
Ah, the vaunted Shanahan-Kubiak-Shanahan coaching tree, made mostly of plastic and ringed in toilet paper.
I guess this is as good a place to drop this bomb as any.
I’ve been fighting stage 4 prostate cancer for the last year. And I’m winning the fight, but some of the indignities that I have suffered along the way are such that I would not wish on my worst enemy. And some of those indignities are permanent.
Gentlemen, please, get your prostate checked early and often. I know it isn’t much fun, but I don’t want ANY of you guys going through what I’ve been through this year.
Oh shit. So sorry to hear this. Big, cuddly bear hugs to you. Let me know if I can help.
Thank you BBR, all the best and I hope you get better soonjust made an appt..
Thank you for sharing.
Well fuck. Time to make an appointment.
Really sorry to hear that BBR. Just know we’re all behind you (no not like that).
Seriously, best wishes. Happy to hear you’re winning. Keep it up.
All the best. My father survived stage 3 colorectal cancer. it’s been about 5 years.
Hope you continue to win. Just had my colonoscopy and all is well, PSA every year as well. I take that shit seriously, having watched a good friend of mine fuck around and not get tested and then dying of colon cancer after spending 3 years shitting in a colostomy bag,
Best of luck, man. Good thoughts going your way.
I see this guy every year, so I’m sure I’m good.
Thick fingers, but short. It’s a tough trade-off.
Ah yes, the old “girth versus length” conundrum.
Sobering. Best wishes to you. From one Richard to another, keep trucking.
We knew he was big. We knew he was black. We didn’t know he had cancer. Fuck.
Fuck. Sorry to hear that dude, but glad to hear you’re winning the fight.
You just keep telling cancer to suck your big black…well, you know
Very happy to hear you’re winning the fight. And thanks for the advice. Great to hear from ya.
Late to the party, but want to express my warmest as well.
Wow. I will listen.
Keep fighting the good fight BBR. Stay positive. I was just checked in July but it’s a great reminder for all.
Be well.
This game is lacking something
Bourne is having a game
I think that’s a TD if Garoppolo lays it in properly.
Im gonna try to check out the Art Museum tomorrow. It opens at 12noon, so I can sleep in.
Helluva plan.
“Are you about to cheat on your wife, and risk your marriage, home, and children’s future? Then please take a moment to think about Michael Bloomberg as the president. There. All good, right? Libido dead, fidelity restored: that’s the Bloomberg guarantee.”
Good, but now… ¡en español!
Scotchys Syracuse is tied with 40 seconds left if you are interested.
Hope they can pick up a win here.
I do too. Fuck UVa.
WIN!
What park was that, with the lake and the rainbow amphitheater? That looks like an awesome place for a concert/rave/whathaveyou
The cutest supercollider in existence.
Apple Mothership.
Jerry Rice looking freaking ageless.
Haven’t seen a pick that strong in Santa Clara since Kaep rode the pine
oy, Janeane. You gave Hippo a sad.
Not so my Hippopotamus internet friend. Moar 1st game jitters from Janine please.
I am pondering a LiveBet on Minny ML
Please let me be your bookie. I’ll take that bet!
Collinsworth looking like Principal Stiffwood of Hughes Nostalgia High, a JJ Abrams sitcom coming to Netflix this March!