This is a new series I figured I’d write to tide you over until teh Hippo comes back with his juicy NFL insights in the fall. I’ll recap the week that was in DFO and offer up some additional insights and ASSertions.
Let’s get to it.
I’d like to start off by thanking tWBS for taking over the AFL and AFLW Beat for me this year. The truth is that I’ve been quite busy at work and just don’t have the time to devote to writing. During the week, it’s become a thing where I get home, eat, and then go to sleep. I’m left to write only on the weekends.
Since the AFL and AFLW games are on the weekends, most weekends that will leave me a small window in which to write the Beat. If anything comes up during the weekend, the writing won’t happen. Thus, I’ve asked tWBS to assist. I know he’ll do an awesome job!
Writing this series of posts will be easier because I’ll have the whole weekend to work on them without the time pressure. Let’s see how it goes…
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I love curling. I’m not Canadian, yet I love it. Watching it. Hearing about it. Masturbating to pictures of hot curlers.
/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/sports/olympics/2018/01/23/norways-mens-curlers-are-bringing-crazy-pants-back/norway_brooms.jpg)
There is nothing I don’t like about curling. Heck, I even own a curling home game made in good ole Canadia!
But I digress.
BC Dick is bringing it every week with his updates. He’ll have hot taeks on football and or other things, but the thing that brings me back is the hot hot hot curling action.
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I love it when you get historical!
Some of you folks are highly educated and are nice enough to share your knowledge with us. That is one of the wonderful things about this site. In the past, BeerGuyRob has written posts where he sprinkles in very interesting historical tidbits. Another person that does this consistently is The Maestro.
In previous years, he brought us very interesting stories via the Historical Badasses series the Weird Mysteries series, the Wacky Weapons series, and now he’s giving it to us hard and sweet like we like it with the Super Harbaugh series. I love the fact that I can come to this site to read some jokes, have a laugh, and also learn something I didn’t know.
Thank you both for doing those posts and I hope you continue.
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Drinks, Fuck Yeah!
I’m not alone on this blog as someone that loves alcohol. That’s why I watch the How To Drink series on YouTube and I always look forward to Sharkbait’s Cocktail of The Week series.
You are doing The Lord’s Work, good sir! I’m looking forward to you taking on the Bloody Mary and making your own variation on it.
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The Week in DFO
These are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:
I still sometimes daydream about Hope Solo just beating the fuck out of me. Lord knows I deserve teh abuse.
King Hippo
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THIS WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW, I CALL IT THE PLAYBOY MANSION CAUSE THERE’S LOT OF BITCHES WALKING AROUND NOT WEARING ANYTHING
jjfozz
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Dirty Ape Man then went back to have sex with a broken down gas truck that was quietly rusting into nothing
Story Time with Fozz
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“I want you, Daddy.”
herodotus450
That’s weird, usually the people who say that to me are happy to go away once I’ve paid them.
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Every time I use the stud finder (about once per fifteen years), I point it at myself and make it light up. Wife hasn’t laughed yet, but I’m gonna git her someday.
SonOfSpam
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I’m never done masturbating.
Viva La Tabula Raza
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First time I’ve seen you shy away from the anise.
SonOfSpam
Whoa, that girl’s ass is on backward!
Gumbygirl
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AVN Awards Show Winners
Last year I wrote a whole post about the AVN Awards with predictions. As I mentioned before, I’ve been quite busy this year, so I didn’t have time to make predictions. HOWEVAH, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to write about the show.
First off, congratulations to Awesome Australian and 3rd time running winner of the Female Performer of the Year, Angela White!
Your “Clever Title of the Year” is I’m Not That Kind of Girl Unless You’re My Brother.
Last year, I predicted that Kayden Kross would win Director of the Year. It seems I was ahead of my time. She won this year. Her movie, “Drive” won a lot of the major awards.
The MILF Performer of the Year was Alexis Fawx (well-earned, I might add!). Among other notable winners, we had:
- Favorite Indie Clip Star: Cory Chase
- Most Epic Ass: Abella Danger
- Most Spectacular Boobs: Angela White
- Favourite Female Porn Star: Angela White
- Female Foreign Performer of the Year: Little Caprice
- Male Performer of the Year: Small Hands
For a full list of winners, go here.
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Since today is a holiday in the United States, I hope most of you are enjoying the break. To our Canadian and International readership,
Have a great day, everyone!
Holy shit. Even Goodell knows enough to look like he gives a shit about doing his job.
I’ve never seen an Angela White video and I barely remember ever reading about her. I don’t like Fawx because I don’t like giant fake tits. It’s annoying as fuck that the MILF category is a ton of women with inflated chests and a couple of flat-chested heroes like India Summer. The worst thing is whenever someone starts in porn and then gets implants because that has never, to my knowledge, made any of them hotter.
I give Little Caprice props for getting Melena Maria Rya to do a non-solo video, even if that g/g scene felt about as genuine as me endorsing Mike Bloomberg, but if she and her husband weren’t putting out videos consistently every two weeks of them or of others under the banner, I don’t think she’d be so popular. They haven’t been fun to watch in a while. Maybe it’s just me. I am aggressively iconoclastic/contrarian, even with porn.
Job Interviewer: “Unsurprised, what is your best quality?”
Unsurprised : “My unrelenting negativity.”
Job Interviewer: “What is your worst quality?”
Unsurprised : “My unrelenting negativity.”
Job Interviewer: : “What makes you happy?”
Unsurprised : “My unrelenting negativity.”
Job Interviewer: “What makes you sad?”
Unsurprised: “My unrelenting negativity.”
Job Interviewer: “If you had a dog, what would you name it?”
Unsurprised: “My unrelenting negativity.”
Job Interviewer: “If we offered you this job, when could you start?”
Unsurprised: “My unrelenting negativity.”
Job Interviewer: “I think we’re done here.”
Unsurprised : “Sooo… What did you think about my unrelenting negativity?”
I have different taste in porn than the AVN voters. I like Lauren Phillips.
How do you feel about Brandi Love?
Eh. I don’t like her face and she’s not that interesting to watch.
Some nostalgia.
I like history stuff, too. And butts. And John Candy.
Do you like John Candy’s butt? Oh wait, that’s history too!
Another fun fact: The Playboy Mansion has turned into a construction zone. I drove by the other day and there were construction folks everywhere. Through my connections in the construction biz, I found out the person that bought it from Hef’s estate is doing a complete remodel.
I wonder how many gallons of bleach they needed to use to disinfect the grotto…
I don’t know why I read that as “Peyton Manning has turned into a construction zone,” but I certainly like the idea of him not being able to find a fitting hard hat in an industry with over 150,000 accidents each year.
What are the chances it’s some Saudi or other Gulf prince who’s going to somehow turn it into something even more gaudy and disgusting than anything a million Hefs with a million Playboy Mansions could imagine? Something that would make Trump reel and say “You went too far.”
It’s going to be the new NAMBLA headquarters. The name, apparently, will not be changed.
Is there any billionaire that isn’t a pedophile?
I took my car to the car wash, and it came out looking great. Not five minutes later a ginormous bird flew over and took a malicious shit on it. I feel like Charlie Brown.
I’ve been told that if a bird poops on you, it’s good luck.
Take that as you will.
Fun fact: I was getting a Metro ticket on Saturday in a covered parking structure when a pigeon pooped on my shoulder. What are the odds of that?!?
yeah, same thing always happens with me, but pollen playing the role of poo
We have a fairly recent infestation of Egyptian Geese around here. I kinda enjoy the several times daily honking overhead, but I kinda do not enjoy the large bright green bombs they drop.
When I was a kid I walked to the local pool past a small farm. They had the biggest, baddest, scariest geese I have ever seen. I bet I could have beat FloJo running from them! I still have scars on my legs from the times I didn’t run fast enough.
Not sure you’ve heard of this guy but listen to this bit about committing to role play with his girlfriend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEw6YhVOSZg
That’s dedication to the bit. Hilarious!
He’s hilarious – thanks for posting
His routine about getting cut in line at Trader Joe’s is brilliant in its execution. He goes off on so many tangents and then comes back to the confrontation, then goes off again. It’s probably one of the best written pieces of stand up I’ve ever come across.
Gulman is a fantastic comic. Going to see him in a few weeks.
Today is our payback for having to work the day after Thanksgiving.
I’ll get in a walk then I’m going to see a movie.
The Gentlemen today.
Is that out already? Man, I’ve been wanting to see that…
It is. I’m a big Guy Ritchie fan.
Just got my ticket. Seeing it at 1:45 in one of those movie theaters where they bring food and drinks to your seat. Only 11 bucks!
Nice. I’m 2:45 at Arclight Beach Cities where they also have a full bar and beer and wine at the concession stand. Movie going is a lot better these days.
That’s really poorly designed holiday. That crowd in Washington needs to think before they make holidays. It should be the Friday after at least.
So I just learned that they named the MVP award of the all-star game after Kobe Bryant. At first I was upset, but then I realized I’m fine with it because it will be a yearly reminder of the fact that he’s dead.
The more I hear from the Astros the more I want every pitcher they face to do nothing but throw at their heads, over and over and over again.
“Hey, you can’t throw at them, that’s part of the not-punishment!” -Rob Manfred
Rob Manfred is starting to make Goodell seem like a little less of a disgrace, which is a feat I thought was impossible.
I hope they take the Buddy Holly Express
In case anyone was wondering what the deal was with Request Line and the private jet bit, it’s because one of my wife’s friend’s offered us a free hotel room in Mammoth so we went up for a couple of nights. It was at the Best Western, which was more than adequate. Their breakfast was spectacular. Then we had Coppertop BBQ on the way home. They had vacuum-sealed ribs for sale in a vending machine, which would probably be worthy of its own Andy Reid post, but unfortunately the photo didn’t come out well – too much of a reflection.
Something about this made me laugh really hard
Not the outfit one would expect to see at the AVNs.
Monday advice: Check out the link to the AVN winners.
Best Anal Production
First Anal 8,Tushy/Pulse
I had spicy food and some beers last night, so I’m looking at some quality anal production myself later today.
Hopefully you don’t get to 8.
It’s a day off in The Ontario. I’m up for some reading and some hot, hot ellipitical action.
Off as well. Went for a “run”. Not sure 6+ minutes per km counts as running. Brisk walk. Trot? canter?
My office is open. Ain’t like it’s Martin Luther th’ King Day!
I don’t get either day off, nor Columbus Day. Not even Arbor Day for fuck’s sake!
This GIF will never not make me chuckle heartily.
Provincial Family Day up here for most provinces, unless you work for a Federal company in which case you get NOTHING.
Sweet!