NFL Notes:
- The Patriots released kicker Stephen Gostkowski on Monday, after 14 years on the team.
I guess Brady wasn’t around to protect him anymore.- He was to be a $4.8 million salary cap hit, so the Patriots will likely try to find – or draft – a cheaper option.
- In total, the Patriots have $23 million in dead-cap money this year.
- Finding no trade partners, the Panthers have released Cam Newton after nine seasons.
- Because his 2015 contract extension was front-loaded, the Panthers only take a $2 million dead-cap hit on his 2020 contract.
- He would have made $21.1 million had the Panthers kept him for 2020.
- Early front-runners as a landing spot for Newton are the Chargers.
- Because his 2015 contract extension was front-loaded, the Panthers only take a $2 million dead-cap hit on his 2020 contract.
Today’s internet good dog is, surprisingly, found by James Woods, whose Twitter feed is usually full of nuts & right-wing conspiracies.
Good dog! pic.twitter.com/6oRD5c8qLr
— James Woods (@RealJamesWoods) March 23, 2020
I mean, the weirdos are still in the comments, but there’s no “Life Under Obamacare!! MAGA 2020!11!1!” following his picture, so that’s progress?
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- MLB Classics:
- Blue Jays Classic – 1992 ALCS Game #6 – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
- Spoiler – the Jays win their first AL pennant
- Kansas City at New York Yankees in Game 3 of the 1978 ALCS.
- George Brett hit 3 HRs, but Thurman Munson hit a two-run shot in the bottom of the eighth to win the game 6-5.
- Blue Jays Classic – 1992 ALCS Game #6 – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
- OJ: Made in America | ESPN / TSN
- Episode 2 or 4 – 7:00PM } – both channels weren’t clear on which ones
- Episode 3 or 5 – 9:00PM } are being shown
- Peyton’s Places – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / 9:30PM | TSN2
- Revisit all five episodes in a row
- Ink Master – 10:00PM | Paramount/Spike
- Pressure grows as the Turf War ranks run thin, and the Artists’ versatility is put to the test. Meanwhile, an alliance strategy backfires, putting an unexpected frontrunner on the chopping block.
Today’s good COVID tweet comes courtesy John Cleese:
I heard from Eric this morning
He points out that this is not a good time to die, as noone would come to your funeral
So Jonesy was cleverer than we thought
— John Cleese (@JohnCleese) March 24, 2020
Cleverer indeed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Csv1wXOr5tY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjmPLVznw2Q
https://hitrecord.org/records/1662122
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGGb7o7EbFs
https://hitrecord.org/records/1603661
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ect2zHjuYb4
https://hitrecord.org/records/1602132
About graduation night.
/heard on Jonesey’s Jukebox recently.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQhxYbXY8eE
yeah right, I first heard of Cheap Trick when I saw them open for Foghat at the Capitol Centre way back when. Their “Live at Budokan” went big shortly thereafter.
1978 at the Coliseum for the World Music Fest.
The Fabulous Poodles opened to great disdain.
Toto! April Wine, The Outlaws, Cheap Trick, REO Speedwagon and Ted Nugent!
There were rumors of acid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LztWlsHcivk
New Sondre Lerche?? NEW SONDRE LERCHE!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8oJy_ngl2c
One of the greatest music losses we’ve had as a society is free form radio.
As our esteemed brother Brick Meathook mentioned with Jonesy’s juke box, Jim Ladd has been part of LA radio for 50 years and he did free form radio.
Brought his own albums from home..
Everything is pre-packaged and pre-situated and homogenized now.
Decades ago he played this for his audience.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0lbRR13FMY
And that’s how a younger yeah right discovered the LA rock-a-billy scene that he would have never known existed.
In the Running Down A Dream documentary, Tom Petty said that he wrote this about Jim Ladd.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOd3tan59BE
Back in the mid-late 70’s we had a kick ass rock station out here, KMET that turned into the very worst local radio station, The Wave. Jim Ladd was always there. What’s cool is on Sunday he did mid-days and led into Dr Demento.
And that’s pretty much the explanation of how I got here.
I can’t give a complete list but KMET introduced me to everything.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxHS9lTUN4Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAv25DfOHOg
Yeah.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhCLalLXHP4
Just Lurking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaonucRt898
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVg510r29g0
Jonesy’s jukebox is the shit,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOdMYZa3dA4
I can’t get past the idea that Melania’s plastic surgery has all been to make her look more like Donald
Fuck it. Boobs.
With smaller breastesses. Like a somehow more demented version of Liberace and Scott Thorsen.
I guess that explains the flattering profile picture.
Fine I guess I’ll just go watch Jeopardy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX7rliyPF48
Is there no one at the table? Did you check under the table? Did they lose their internet connection? Did Scotchy murder them? Well, if some serial killer did that, they probably keep playing, so that’s out.
I took all their moneh and they all got “tired”.
But we got long ass wire on Black Jeopardy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VorxBhRxZGo
Are you going to have some soup now? Not sure why I’m asking but some delicious soup sounds good.
I have three different kinds of homemade soup. I was going to make some chili tonight but didn’t. Maybe tomorrow.
mmmmmmm chili…… meaty chili…….
This will always be my favorite SNL “Black Jeopardy.” Tom Hanks has won two Oscars.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7VaXlMvAvk
And survived COVID-19.
A true American hero.
What kinda meat you got in yer chili?
*Question sounds much more personal than it really is.
You can’t go wrong with anything involving Elizabeth Banks.
Although that restraining order hearing was less fun than I expected.
Suuuure, on a night when I take all your fake money, you all leave without warning. You sure as shit stick around when you’re taking mine.
LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJGpsL_XYQI
The girl in the rocket was one of the TV ‘Catwomen,” all of whom could rock a skin-tight costume.
Oh REALLY?
yes, moose, this is true.
jerry lewis has an uncredited cameo in this scene, which is not shown
Sarcasm font not working.
[grumble, grumble] I can do without Tom Dick, just you watch. [grumble, grumble]
. . . and then they were all killed on the second day of the Battle of Gettysburg
Hot!
I swear I saw a film where this piston pumped back and forth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qrMEEN6WxM
Someone mentioned Dispatches from Elsewhere on some day in the “past”. Something weird enough to keep going back but not sure it’s good?
I watched the first two so far after seeing that and I agree. It’s interesting, though, and that’s what matters. I like so far. Who needs to know what’s going on if you want to see more?
That was me. Really liked last night episode. I’m in for the duration.
Ah yes. Thank you. I am back into it tonight. It sure seems like something Segel would think up.
2 seats still available at the poker table. Hippo can’t bluff.
Now that we’re all stuck inside and not interacting with people, we can go back to not washing our hands again, right? ASKIGN FOAR A FRIED.
How long since you washed yer balls, bro?
My balls aren’t interacting with anyone
Not with THAT attitude!
Damn, I missed the opportunity for the Peyton Manning joke; I have failed.
Just stay out of my office lavatory, got damn it.
That is a wise precaution not matter what.
I’m making masks out of old sheets and bra straps. To think of all the times I cursed these bra clasps to hell…who’s laughing now, high-school aged (okay, fine, COLLEGE-AGED) Rikki?
BRA CUP WILL STOP COROVIEO19; JUST WEAR THAT 24-7!
For science: Different cup sizes and their mask capabilities!
Needs motorboat tests.
There is a building down the street that a congressman has on office in and there was always Tea Party people protesting the wild ridiculous deficits when Obummer was in office at the height when the economic recovery was taking place. I have not seen them lately……
Look, sometimes the ‘Rona does a good
Not since 2016…..
“In total, the Patriots have $23 million in dead-cap money this year.”
Interesting that this would happen in the season that could be jeopardized by a pandemic.
A pandemic that originated in Asia.
A continent that supplies some of Robert Kraft’s favorite masseuses.
I’m just sayin’, people, CONNECT THE DOTS!
And Brady, a “free agent,” goes to the hotbed franchise of germ warfare? For what, exactly?
CLIMATE CHANGE HOAX!!
Found a funny:
STAYING HOME DAY 1: I should create a schedule to give my life structure.
DAY 9: I wonder what photosynthesis tastes like to trees.
Yo, get rid of “?format=” and replace with a period. And get rid of the ending “&name=medium”
Maybe he should get a haircut too…..jussayin…..
And smile more. That’s not too much to ask.
John was the walrus. Paul wasn’t the walrus. John was only saying that to be nice, but John was really the walrus.
Gives you that weird feeling…..
“Story suggested by OLIVER JEFFRIES”
dang that’s a hell of a credit
Oh shit. Brand new RTJ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DFypFVnSS0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcp5gPf7mhI
I love having no sports.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcbXCMvpmWo
Give us your fake money.
Table open?
yessir
May be time to dive back into an MMO and replace this monotony with another, more expensive monotony
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39j5v8jlndM
Social distancing…..
The number of pornstars named Dani Daniels
Is too damn high!
Or so you’ve heard?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kee_RRfyBfQ
Poker’s happening, if y’all are interested. GET IN HEAH
En route
Jonesy is a great nickname.
If any of you have seen “Scrotal Recall” (lamely renamed on Netflix USA as “Lovesick”), the Jonesy character was super cool.
Here she is:
Jonesy’s Jukebox was my favorite radio show ever. I think he’s still on KLOS or internet radio. That’s Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols and the guy is funny as hell and plays great music.
I thought that was Al Davis for a second.
Also, that’s a pretty cush work schedule.
To be fair, Jonesey’s nothing without Reilly
“I smell body spray so I know it can’t be good.”
So many takedowns of big city slams, boys!
John Cleese is an international treasure and must be protected. (Along with Michael Palin and Eric Idle.)
James Woods should be pushed out to sea and lit afire with a flaming arrow.
A flaming arrow fired by a Roman ballista.
John Cleese turns out to be a fucking racist asshole.
Yeah, that was a heel turn I didn’t see coming
I did not know that. Compliment rescinded.
It’s funny because he’s largely still very progressive but occasionally throws a “FUCKING IMMIGRANTS DESTROYED OUR BEAUTIFUL WHITE ENGLAND” in there from a private island in the Carribean
They can also have the paternalistic racism going for them on occasion, which in degrees is not quite as bad, but still fucked up.
I did not know until recently. He didn’t do a Bill Cosby, but still; I’ve always liked his comedy and his comments tainted (!!) that.
It happens when people get older. Old people want it to be like when they were young. They see the increase in minorities as a threat to that desire. I watched it happen to three formerly fairly tolerant people over the last 20 years (aunt, grandfather, and father).
I bet old people who are minorities in whatever place they live get like that, too. So who’s to judge? I don’t need John Cleese to be a good person, he just needs to make good jokes. Just like I don’t need my football players to have a gentle soul.
I don’t really expect him to be funny anymore, except maybe an occasional clever bon-mot I might see on the internet. Just like I don’t expect the Rolling Stones to go into the studio and produce an album of the quality of, say, Exile on Main Street, Some Girls, or Let It Bleed.
Well, there is a tolerance level for bullshit and while people can ignore someone being a nazi or some shit as long as they put out good music or play well for their team, it makes me personally not enjoy them as much or not at all any more. A good example is Tyreek Hill. I’m not saying this case is nearly that extreme, but ignoring shit is not really my game, but you go right ahead.
Yeah. There’s a wide gulf between national socialism and making jackassy comments on twitter or whatever he said where.
Here’s is what I said; “I’m not saying this case is nearly that extreme” Yeah, comprehension.
Also said to set the bar for his crime: “It’s like when Rachel Hunter married Rod Stewart; she kilt mah boner for her.”
I’ve seen the opposite happen and neither. Generalizations like this are usually worthless; but agree it happens a lot.
Some fucking nostalgic thoughts get distorted with time and casual associations get made.
It’s like when Rachel Hunter married Rod Stewart; she kilt mah boner for her.
If you like The Boxing, The Modern Martial Artist channel on the YT should sate your needs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40kggXa-ZQQ&pbjreload=10
Oh yes. Lots of good fights available on the computers these days. Love me some foreman and norton and the like.
I’ve definitely fallen out of love with boxing over the years, but I do still get that jolt of sick glee watching old Tyson knockouts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIj716wEZqE
That fucking shot on Mark Young was some Dragonball Z shit. Looked like he knocked him out just from the fucking wind following his fist.
Many Tyson knockouts (of males) were done before the bell rang.
“Everyone has a plan til they get punched in the mouth”
The best ones are the ones where they’ve already died and they don’t even know it. Like Ric Flair hamming it up, but with (more) concussions.
Gamblor be praised. Mrs. Cola is an essential health care worker and Decilitre will go to daycare in 2 days. Holy Fuck I am so relieved, no way I could work from home and mind a toddler (aka small coked up drunk person).
Daycares are not shut down in The Alberta?
They are except for health care workers where there is limited spaces.
Got an email from the state today informing me that I’m a critical infrastructure worker. Nicest thing I’ve ever been called by an employer.
Today I had to send this memo from Undersecretary of the AF and DHS to all my contractors working USAF construction projects. Posted without comment.
https://media.defense.gov/2020/Mar/22/2002268024/-1/-1/1/DEFENSE-INDUSTRIAL-BASE-ESSENTIAL-CRITICAL-INFRASTRUCTURE-WORKFORCE-MEMO.PDF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKRZYyVeDvo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20u6sif6JjM
So, I just finished teaching and we’re apparently giving all of the money ever to Wall Street? No way they squander it, right?
Cam: “I’d really like to play for the Chargers.”
Chargers GM: “How many kids do you have?”
Cam: “Kids?”
Chargers GM: “You heard me. Kids. Children. Offspring. How many?”
Cam: “Um, well, I have three.”
Chargers GM: “If you want to play QB for us, you’ve got to have at least five, with more on the way. Maybe you have a few more out of wedlock?
Cam: “Uh, no.”
Chargers GM: “We’re done here.”
Cam: “Uh, okay. Huh…”
Chargers GM: [buzzes secretary] “Send in Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie.”
This needs to be an entire post.
I had to resort to frozen microwavable sushi for lunch. These truly are trying times.
Couldn’t you just not microwave it and let nature take its course?
There is an instruction for putting the container in warm water for 20 minutes, but I don’t have that kind of time or surface area on my desk to make that process work.
Well, maybe on the corner of the desk, but that is about it.
That sounds atrocious. I’m betting on mushy hot exterior with bone-hard frozen insides.
Food that is barely above gas station level is better than being below gas station level. And I like gas station food.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NY9YOcY3_E
Ha! I do too. Those slimy little sandwiches with the off-brand mayo and transparent lettuce. Something about how it’s all been melded together over its short, 3 week shelf life. And don’t get me started on the goddamn taquitos. I would eat those forever at every meal.
I’m assuming it’s vegetarian, because otherwise that sounds dangerous.
That PAT Gostkowski missed three years ago is really coming back to haunt him now.
GOSTKOWSKI WAS CUT BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DO HIS JERB. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
You see some Sensator player was the first to test positive for the carbinevirus? Good thing nobody goes to the games, or else it could have spread.
Nate Silver ran the numbers and the Red Wings lousy goal differential of -122 would have been slightly better if Detroit didn’t bother to play a goalie. ZING! POW!
I hope that the Pats lose multiple games by missed extra points or field goals.
https://giphy.com/gifs/4bvQltmMAbbEY