There’s both so much and so little going on right now that I’m not sure what to write about.
This will be over in 10-15 days? It won’t be over for months at least?
Wear a mask? Don’t wear a mask?
(btw, unless you’re the sick one there is no point to wear a mask to prevent viral transmission)
Hmmmmm….I stand corrected. That one might work.
Also, where the hell is my $1,200???????
And please, if you’re sick, stay the hell home. Please.
This man is now dead. Thanks to someone who was without regard to herself or other people.
And today, the Governor of Georgia saying he’s only just now realized that people can be asymptomatic yet still propagate and spread the virus?
Where the fuck have YOU been asshole?
Anywhoooooo….
It’s a confusing time.
My brain hurts. So get ready to be bored. In addition to the confusion.
–
Random Stuff To Fill Space
I went out to the store yesterday. We didn’t really NEED anything. But I was getting cabin fever. Hadn’t been out of the house for nearly a week. And I wanted out for an hour or so. Sooooo… I hit the grocery store. Surprisingly they had milk and bread and some produce. They also now have installed gigantic plexiglass face shields between the cashiers and the customers.
Then I came home and made some soup and a grilled cheese.
The soup turned out pretty well. But I burned the grilled cheese.
OK, it wasn’t that bad, but it was close. But I still ate it though.
Also, Mom wanted to bake a cake.
tWBS: Mom, we don’t need a cake right now. It will go to waste.
tWBS’ Mom: Wellllll….just make sure to get an Angel Food mix, vanilla icing, cream cheese and coconut.
So I did. And not terribly shockingly she still has not baked the cake. But at least when the world ends I have the ingredients for cake.
And not surprisingly I did also hit the booze store just in case. Prices have gone up but at least they were open.
And that’s about all I got this week.
–
Sports Are Still Non-existent More or Less.
Other than soccer in Central America and apparently in Northern Europe. And I know not enough about that to even try to talk about it. So I won’t even try. You soccer hooligans can fill everyone in as is appropriate.
You can also still find re-re-runs of old World Series games and NFL Playoff games.
Oh, and NCAA Men’s BBall re-re-runs. I’m ashamed to say I was so bored that I re-watched Wisconsin vs Kentucky in the 2015 Final Four Semis last night. Fortunately, Wisconsin still won. It’s always fun to see Kentucky lose.
I did not watch the finals, however. Fuck you Duke.
But yeah, the lack of sports, aside from re-re-runs that is, is becoming a bit annoying. I can’t tell you how many episodes of Family Feud I’ve watched in the past week.
Pork-Cupine. It’s gon’ be #1!!!
–
Alright Let’s Just Look At Some Girls
No theme this week. Just whatever I find.
Enjoy…
I always have liked Polka Dots for some reason.
But that’s it for this Friday. Please, do take care of yourselves and those around you whom you care about. If you’re mildly sick, stay home. If you have breathing problems please seek help.
Stay in and stay safe. And don’t forget to wash your hands.
Love ya’s.
–
Tonight at 7 everyone in the neighborhood was banging pots and pans and singing, like we got this shit.
Inspired by the excitedness, DJ Taj and and I decided they need some electric guitar.
I’m plugging in my Line 6, cranking that shit to eleven and I’m gonna play a G major that will shake your damn house down.
Solidarity!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8eK9ZXf-Ow
I keep finding cool shit to watch on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Hot-Roads-Worlds-Most-Dangerous/dp/B07472S9ZR
I don’t know where to buy a mask so it’s cool that I’m going to die for being stupid.
As mentioned below they have relaxed the prohibitive laws so gay and bi men can donate blood and plasma in these trying times.
It was so hard to donate in the past, they actually put ‘phlebotomist’ in Omar Mateen’s obituary.
So, I’m still watching all these Scottish travel shows, even whilst hanging here and mixing it up with all of you Muckle Fluggers.
That poor woman is at grave risk of skin cancer. I’d better rub sunscreen all over her. Slowly.
I have an idea on how this random woman somehow has 11,000 followers
One arm sympathy?
Exactly
Oh, yeah. Portland loves its booze. Also delivery weed, but I’m not into that. Although one of these days I may as well try an edible.
Is there no poker to be found?
haven’t seen a game in a while, but I’ve been coming in late.
That’s ……NOT what she said.
There’s liquor up front, and poker in the rear.
Sorry.
I was honestly just puzzled about whether it was Friday or Saturday.
You mean it’s not Wednesday? Fuck!
I mean, it’s not like it matters.
My husband correctly identified Thursday this week. One out of five!
7 actually, but thanks for playing.
I meant from Monday!
I need booze, but I refuse to leave the house except to go to work and don’t expect to need to go to the store for a while (if I run out of food, I have plenty of fat stores to rely on). I assume some place in this wretched city delivers.
CT apparently just passed a law allowing breweries to deliver.
I’m still going to the package stores, because I apparently hate myself, humanity, and my lungs more than I hate my liver.
I am still giving the local package store owned by the Sopranos Witness Protection guy from New York all of my business. I love the East Coast shelves to the ceiling setup that you don’t see down here in Texas. Also, they give me a 10% discount because of my CAC card and Navy ballcap. Staying away from Big Box liquor for the time being. Sneeze guards twixt customer and cashier were in place during my last visit yesterday, so obviously they are not going medieval on our ass.
Just today my neighbor was raving about Drizly.
Sounds like he’s got rabies.
From internet to my door in 20 minutes. Amazing.
I forget where you are, but BevMo in California delivers.
So I tested negative for covid today and as I saw the elderly and their family members each scared as can be on line, I only had one thought: ”Isn’t it funny how cocktail not only gives you AIDS but also helps cure it?”
Edit: yes there’s a fruit cocktail joke in there but it would’ve ruined my bit
BUDDY!
You should be doing a podcast.
Is that his name?
It’s the term for three male, Millennial shut-ins who have a weird non-sexual vibe.
Is this true? I saw a headline today that some agency (Red Cross/CDC/etc?) was relaxing their guidelines on gay men for blood and or plasma donations.
Huzzah!
I am fine. I have had bourbon, beer and gummies. I live to fight…anyone
I’m sure your family is relieved to hear this.
Oh they’re long gone.
Watching ‘Sunderland ’til I Die’ on Netflix now. A few years ago a friend asked me to go in on an independent league baseball team with him, (I assume because of my rugged good looks, because I sure as shit don’t have that kind of money laying around), and watching what goes on, even behind the scenes, with lower level teams, I have never been as happy as I was in on passing on that.
Also, that league no longer exists, so good on me for that decision.
People who were goign to by my parents hous ebacked out, not looking for your sympathy, but god i wnat to murder the fuc out of this guy.
my parnets are devastatd,d an das the i who an pont, ther only sonl, i felel bd.
fuc tahtat. fuc fuck that ddue
Do we have a subtitle option for Fozz?
Seriously though, hate to hear that. My wife’s a real estate agent and if I murdered every person who fucked up a deal or otherwise tried to screw her at the last minute, (metaphorically), I’d be…well, I’d be Scotchy.
I have to say that if it weren’t for scotch, rum, cabernet, marijuana, some tequila, and the occasional nibble of Xanax, I’d probably be certifiable for state mental hospital by now.
i am on the same appage as you
I kinda got that impression, from the temper of your posts.
Just finished Season 3 of Ozark. Most of it was ‘meh’, (oh look, the mentally ill relative out of nowhere trope! Fucken goody!), but goddamn, the last five minutes have me fired up for season 4.
If you like hillbilly stuff, strongly recommend Justified. Fucking brilliant.
‘What am I, an asshole?”
I think ‘Justified’ is a Top 5 show of all time, and of those 5 I’d be hard-pressed to say which one could beat it for #1. Just damn near a perfect show.
Did you participate in the Q&A’s with VJ Boyd that used to happen at warmingglow? Those were some good times.
Oh! And one time we saw Joelle Carter buying coffee. She confirmed that she was, indeed, Joelle Carter and we told her that we loved her show. She was very gracious.
I did. That was back when UPROXX was worth a shit. Those days are long gone.
It was fucking incredible and I was so fucking bummed out when it went off the air.
“Ya know, Jody, if you meet an asshole in the morning, well, you met an asshole in the morning. But if you meet assholes all day, YOU’RE the asshole.”
Fucking brilliant screenwriting. It took all his life, but Elmore Leonard hit that one out of the fucking park.
I agree. Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Justified. Four best shows of the last 20 years. I watch little to no TV, but I have watched those 4 over the last 2 decades.
Very similar to mine. BB, BCS, (which I think is on the verge of surpassing BB), Justified, The Wire, Game of Thrones, (1st 6 seasons and 2 episodes of Season 7; rest of that season never happened)
Sopranos never did it for me, although I loved the ending. What a great “fuck you, deal with it” to the viewers
Forgot The Wire. Dug that, but I really loved the precursor from David Simon, Homicide Life on the Street.
Such a great show
I liked how in the final episode she was hanging and banging with the guy from Iron Eagle in Miami.
Is Kimmy from The Americans still the mastermind foil to Bateman?
Had to look that up. She’s still on the show. Started as an ally. Won’t say where it goes from there.
I can’t remember if it was season 1 or 2 when I gave up on that show. Nice scenery, well shot, well acted, and I suppose well written except for what I’m about to say, which is that I just realized that I completely didn’t give a shit what happened to any of them.
Lots of serious anxity here in the house – i fi lose the job, goddamn now what the fuck heell would happen? the world is dying, yes, no? tough tiems here. time to hundke rdown be safe, be welll
First, we eat the rich. Then, we eat the landlords.
dude, all the fuckin assholes in governmen, i realize they suk ick,but hwo can you fuck us this hard? time to eat bolws of bl=owls of blood stew, an dea tht emaro w from tehi bones.
I picked up 12 roles of toiler paper this week. I have 40 in the house, so I’m selling these for $20 a role.
For you though, Fozz? $8.
Well for the first time since October I went out and drove my car!
I mean a real power run: from the beach, down Imperial, past yeahright , to the 105-E, to the 405-S, to the 110-S, to Carson, and then back again, just for fun, in very light traffic. My carbon footprint is back!
And after five months of feeling depressed and slightly akilter, for reasons I didn’t fully understand, I suddenly felt better. And it dawned on me: I do my best thinking and reflection while driving alone listening to music, which is a pretty normal occurrence in L.A. And I hadn’t done that for five months.
That’s a good movie. The sequel was wretched.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-BmxK-0Jts
What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Yaris or Aston Martin Vanquish? I imagine something somewhere in between.
21-cylinder turbo-supercharged Ferrari Sexarossa hatch-back
60% of the time, it works every time.
Certainly sounds more exciting than my day of watching green bars fill up at home, as opposed to my pre-Covid routine of watching green bars fill up at work.
h
ttps://thumbs.gfycat.com/LoathsomeAbleAbyssiniancat-size_restricted.gif
Yes, our next nanny
And your last…
Until he has kids with her.
Touche’
She seems nice .
Some chick named Riley Reid. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Is that Riley?? I can’t tell anymore unless I see the calligraphy tramp stamp on her back.
MY BOY GOT ALL A’S ON HIS THIRD QUARTER REPORT! YEAHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKER! MY BOYSISNO T DUMB
I AM DUBMBB
Hopefully there will be a fourth quarter report forthcoming someday soon, maybe September 2021, and he will continue with ALL THE WINNING!
—President DJ Trump, here to encourage America’s youth
That kid is so smart, and such asn assholel Parenthood is loving a kid an wanting to murder that kid in a the same breath.
Today, my 12 year old attempted to make eggs in a sauce pot (?) before I woke up and this ended in him shattering the lid to my crock pot (???)
MAKE eggs or COOK eggs? I imagine the former would be more difficult than the latter.
Yes indeed.
gummies,bourbon, beer, and on a webex meeitnwith college buds.
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOINGBOYSSSSSSS
Picking up on the Request Line theme of covers, my main dude Sondre Lerche has been picking a song (usually by a female artist) each of the past ten years and recording a cover version as a Xmas present for his fans (I think in partnership with Paste Magazine). Some highlights:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkJq7E4Y7L8
(Selena Gomez??)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3uUc8YyJsM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKo26ug7kO8
Does “Sondre Lerche” mean “my hairdresser is a psychopath” in some foreign language?
Norwegian (sp?)
(Also it fits the song about being a mess and battling alcolholisim)
At first, I thought you were talking about that unattractive chick that banged Clint Eatwood, what was it, Sondra Locke?
I tried this tonight. It’s…not really worth it. It wasn’t bad, just kind of pointless.
https://www.seriouseats.com/2014/10/baking-soda-ramen-noodle-spaghetti-hack.html
Lurking
My regular cleaning lady Leticia has her kids so she can’t come clean the house for me. Foot is still fucked enough that I can’t give it the deep clean I desire. Fortunately, her cousin Patricia who has filled in for her on a number of occasions over the last decade is going to come on Wednesday morning. My house is set up in such a manner that we can practice excellent social isolation; biggest trick is going to be having to speak special instructions loudly in Spanish. I will give her an extra 20 spot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPVk-m1Pr4s
Most people just yell loudly in English when they want someone who speaks Spanish to understand
Actually, you could expand that to say “any American trying to talk to any foreign-speaking individual, anywhere in the world.
¡limpiar el poste!
¡y ahueca las bolas!
¡ahora dedo el agujero!
¡Limpia el inodoro!
¡Trapear el piso!
¡Aspirar la alfombra!
This is a good start to your “Dear Penthouse Letters, ……”
“Zipless Sex in the Age of the COVID Plague” by Erica Jong and Albert Camus. Could be a bestseller.
COVERS COVERS!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4
SHOTS SHOTS!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAl-vZsswb4
I hated the idea of this, but when I heard it I was okay with it, if not enamored. Same with Weezer and Africa. What a weird summer of music, that last summer of Western Civilization of 2019 was.
From Stupid Human Tricks on Letterman.
I liked as well as grossed out to the one where the guy put milk up his nose and squirted it out of his eye socket like a porn money shot.
Good for him making a living out of outlier shoulder flexibility!
Is that a living? I’d be ashamed if I made that kind of spectacle of myself on television. But if he liked it who am I to judge.
I like how Dave made it so he could tell the hayseeds and yokels that the title means the tricks are stupid but really it’s tricks by stupid humans.
Google maps just told me it’s time to go to the airport for my weeks ago cancelled flight. Thanks for reminding me googs!
For Balls and others:
https://www.usanetwork.com/psych/blog/biggest-psych-binge-a-thon-ever-coming-this-april
You know that’s right!
You hear about Pluto?
That’s messed up.
Why was it that Pluto was just a dog, but Goofy was an anthropomorphic dog? Why did Goofy have the white gloves, but Pluto had none?
I hope that Walt Disney is very uncomfortable in his current location at the 9th Circle of Hell.
Apparently Pink (who is a singer or something) had the ‘Rona and is now ok
You know what they say, two in the Pink and then quarantine yourself for 14 days.
Rum goes well with rum
I suspect that man is not a real yogateacher
Isn’t that the eunuch-izer pose?
Nice.
mix in a ham now and then
and butter. I love butterrum, a lot more than butterscotch.
So, I’ve been watching all these travel shows about Scotland for some reason, and have learned about a way of life that is still in place today that strikes me as a thing that belongs in the 19th century, not the 21st. But the lucky (or unlucky, depends on your perspective I guess) folks that survive this pandemic might be looking at this very type of lifestyle in the future. Not for me, thanks.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crofting
I’m in an industry that can’t work from home without internet, I wouldn’t do well there
You wouldn’t have time to do your job anyways, what with all the sheep-shearing, cow-milking, wool-spinning, pig-slopping, butter-churning, etc etc etc.
Those tasks would be a whole different work from home job, for which my aptitude and training is slim. I’m good with horses at least
I would sell all the souls to be a sheep or goat or anything farmer. I just want to get rid of all the clocks and have only a home phone with no answering machine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sGunWWTRzM
Ali was a great fighter. But the difference in this one was the referee allowing him to repeatedly hold behind the neck. Foreman should have won this one.
Man did George ever hit like a ton of bricks. What a puncher. Ali did get away with some shit in this for sure.
Norton, Frazier, Ali, Foreman. What a time. I love boxing. Crooked as hell and always has been. Its gone through so many phases. Now we’re in the gigantic Brit/euro phase with Klitschko and now Fury being at the top for a long time.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn7Cvi9bHio
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn7Cvi9bHio
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv4ro4D16H0
Apparently Tyson had been sniffing Colombian focus powder immediately before this fight. If not a great game plan at least big marks for confidence.
What a feeling it must’ve been to be prime years mike Tyson. Walking out your door knowing, not a shred of doubt or even a need to doubt, damn well knowing that you should fear no man.
Except for Don King.
Jared Kushner is one pasty, triangle-faced sob that could really benefit from a bump or two before appearing in public, or private
A ‘bump’ with an ax.
That cocksucker needs the Buscemi/Fargo treatment.
I’ve known you guys online for so long without actually seeing your faces, so I presume everybody looks like their DFO avatar in real life.
Except for Moose, whom I still picture as Brock Sampson.
I don’t know about Moose, but you nailed it as far as my avatar and me. Although I’m a lot more gray.
I still have a full head of hair. Otherwise yes from here.
But do you have a large martini glass in front of you at all times? That’s how I visualize you, talking suavely to your customers like 007. “Spayed, not stirred.”
I look nothing like mine, but I totally feel the same. Meeting a few of the gang changes that, Game Time Decision is like 6’7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNPW2wZ4D2s
Only in high heels. That was to be our secret
I only look like that during fucking teleconferences.
During fucking teleconferences or during Fucking Teleconferences?
Unfortunately the ones implying frustration, anger, resentment, and a sense of impending doom.
That is just during the introductions.
Why yes, I am exactly my avatar!
I KNEW IT!!>?@>
I posted this comment below in the wrong place. Trying again. More scotch, please.
“I had to zoom to 500% screen size and put on my reading glasses to even make out what your avatar is. Has it always been that?”
It is a kitty with a machine gun, right?
*makes note to self: “make eye doctor appt”*
I just think I’m Brock.
It’s true. I’m a Golden Ass.
Some people are being more introspective during these times.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lQ_MjU4QHw
Shelley’s current condition is tragic. Apparently she is living in a shack in Blanco Texas, about 20 miles north of me. Maybe Jack really did do her mind.
The avant garde composer whose music was used in The Shining dies recently, non-covid
Carlos or Elkind? I can’t find that on the Googs.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.avclub.com/r-i-p-krzysztof-penderecki-influential-avant-garde-co-1842546577/amp
Ah. Well, RIP to Penderecki too. I was all ready to queue up the TRON soundtrack.
No reason not to do it anyway
I had to zoom to 500% screen size and put on my reading glasses to even make out what your avatar is. Has it always been that?
I remember the Bartok being prominently featured, forgot about Penderecki.
Heathers is such a quality film
Woo, we just had an earthquake and a couple of aftershocks! They are saying 4.9 for the first one.
4.9, I wish
Just do it four times.
https://earthquaketrack.com/recent
The biggest earthquakes:
today: 5.4 in South Sandwich Islands
this week: 6.5 in Challis, Idaho, United States
this month: 7.5 in Severo-Kuril’sk, Sakhalin, Russia
this year: 8.0 in Lagunas, Loreto, Peru
I assume you are in Idaho, because I doubt any of those other places even have internet or wifi.
Big Bear Lake. Channel 7 in LA says it was centered in Anza, CA, out in the desert of Riverside county.
So I guess that earthquake tracker is not updated instantaneously. Slackers.
I lived in Redlands CA while in HS, 1974-76, while my dad was stationed at Norton AFB with the Air Force Inspector General. Chuck Yeager was the one-star in command of the AF Safety Center, which the IG was a part of, and I got to meet him once which I thought was cool. Who cares? Loved being an hour from the beach, an hour from the desert, and an hour from the mountains/Big Bear. Redlands and San Berdoo hold special places in my heart.
I love it up here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeYObKvKxKY
They still play that on the pirate ship! He had a house on the lake, and until he died he would come out and wave to people on it. Fun fact, the pirate ship was used in the movie Time Bandits.
Why do I have a comment floating in moderation?
That’s what happens when you throw the h- j- q- word around too casually
Because you touch yourself.
It’s just random. All good now.
There we am. HTFYDB???
A new neighbor kid, about 8 or 9 I guess, came to my door because he saw my two little animals screaming and hollering on the trampoline over our fence. It being End of Days, I had to tell him it might be a while before he can come play.
Feeling bad, I went across the street a few minutes later to make sure the kid understood, and also to, y’know, meet a parent who was apparently cool with sending a child to a stranger’s house unsupervised during a pandemic.
Guy comes out, and immediately goes for the handshake and I’m like aw fuck, all right I guess. I introduce and explain myself and despite a friendly convo, I get a vibe like neighbor thinks I’m simultaneously being a pussy and a dick for not letting his kid come over and mingle free-range respiratory expulsions with my kids. He’s like inferring, “hey, we moved in 3 days ago, we haven’t gone anywhere, we’re fine.”
I explain I’m a postman, I work in close quarters with parcels from all over, then I’m out exposed to the public 4 hours a day, blah, blah, and he’s like “oh, I get it, I work at Walgreens, and I can’t go back to work for 14 days because my older son took the COVID test even though he’s fine.”
Wait you asshole, no one just TAKES the test unless there’s a reason to. I’m pretty lax about this shit, but you tried to send your kid over during a stay at home order, after your other kid felt compelled to take a test, AND you work at a pharmacy where half the people come in sick anyway? There are fewer cases in my entire state than Orange County, CA alone, but c’mon mannnn…
I’m not the asshole. I don’t need validation. I do feel bad for the little kid though. He looked sad and bored as fuck. BUT ALIVE.
Dude, you need a scrip to even take the test, how does he not get that it?
Let me guess: “Keep America Great” ballcap.
Dont know if I did the right thing or not today. i group texted my 4 furloughed reports today. They got furloughed 2 weeks ago.
I told them the “offices are still closed and will be closed until May.” and “reopening the offices is not a promise I can bring them back right away but it is a positive step to get them back”.
2 texted back thanks.
It’s some degree of transparency and reassurance that you are still considering them useful.
If you can look good in 240p, you can look good anywhere imo
Chris Candido vs. Lance Storm. I do miss me some ECW.
And gets you to stay tuned to NBC.