Damn right it’s on! Whew, what a frickin’ ride to get to this point. I just want to thank all the hardcore commenters that kept this thingy of ours afloat when there was so little sports going on that we resorted to Korean baseball and made the best of it. Things aren’t normal-far from it, but a veil of normalcy in the form of the return of NFL football has dropped on our collective heads. I’ll take it. I’ll take it and run with it, thankyouverymuch.
I’m curious, perhaps like many of you, about how the crowds will look/sound, the response to kneeling, coaches interactions with refs, the quality of play, how Covid will be managed, and a hundred other things. Let’s tackle all that shit down below but for now we need to go…TO THE GAME!
Texans vs. Chiefs:
-the spread is 9.5/10 which seems about right (because Vegas does what it does). The game script to me looks like the Chiefs getting on all their horses early and Watson and Co. struggling to keep up. I think he’s got a shot at it because KC’s secondary is not quite the same unit that came together at the halfway point of the season.
-Both David Johnson (play him while he’s upright) and Edwards-Hilaire should get plenty of touches in the form of catches out of the backfield. The rookie will get some because coach Reid is a master of putting his rb’s in space and DJ will do the same because even a coach like Bill O’Brien knows that the Chiefs gives up tons of yards (100 catches for 951) to them guys wandering out from behind the qb.
-what of the absence of Hopkins? What does it really mean for the Texans O? Well, in the two games they played vs. one another last year Hopkins came up with 12 first downs. That’s huge for a team. Right now Cooks is a game-timer and I would think the medical staff wouldn’t take the chance. What’s left? There’s Fuller, Cobbs and Kenny “He’s still in the league?” Stills-not much to look at. They’ll put it together as a unit over the course of the season but tonight is not the night.
-Players props, you say? Take the over on everything regarding Kelce. Due to injury he’ll be defended by Lonnie Johnson Jr, the owner of the very worst PFF score for a cb with 30. No one else was under 40.
As I always say, if you’re new to the site please say hello-we have a shit-ton of fun here on game days. If you happen to already have an account and haven’t said ‘boo’ in a while, we’d love to see your smiling text. Have at it, one and all. We’re back and I’m real fucking happy.
We’ve got OT hockey!!
That was almost a colossal fuckup at the death…
This is fine.
Choking to death in August and September is just the price of living in this Pacific wonderland.
I CAN SEE MY HOUSE
Were on track to have the Yellowstone Caldera blow it’s gasket by Xmas.
MOAR CEH-downs!!
Someone on the Houston roster must know how to use a Tor browser, get on the dark web and hire a cleaner to take care of O’Brian.
For some reason as Coach/GM he reminds me of Whyl E Coyote from Bugs Bunny cartoon.
Crap, now i have to watch Robocop this weekend.
All four. Even the new one that sucked, but bless their hearts for trying their best.
new one?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RoboCop_(2014_film)
If RoboCop didn’t exist, it would be an okay movie. But since it does, it fails in comparison. Imagine if RoboCop was done, but not in a quasi-self-parodic glorification of violence and 80s.
The scene where Murphy sees all that’s really left of him was way better than the rest of the remake.
Can check:
Santa Fe Brewing Co.
Edit: it says my pic is too big. Whupever.
B&W works tho…
NBC is lying. The best medical show is clearly my 600lb life.
You need to lose ter-tee pounds…
“I don’t know why I’m not losing weight as fast as the doctor wants me to, but I hope I can still get my ‘too lazy to walk laps for exercise’ surgery” says that week’s ‘star’, while making yet another slow-motion trip to the refrigerator for “just one more” Frito pie.
What is a Frito pie?
It’s the culmination of all human civilization.
Fritos with chili, cheese, and diced onions on top.
Not going to lie, I would eat that.
The purest piece of Americana
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They’re reidiculously good (see what I did there?) and so, so bad for you.
My parents like that Dr Pimple Popper show. Egad.
My wife loves that show. I have to admit, more than once I have had to sit down and watch it the way I would watch a slow motion car wreck.
WHO IS WHITER:
Barack Obama (very good US President who I voted for twice)
or
Patrick Mahomes (very good QB of the Kansas City Chiefs who won the Super Bowl?)
Patrick Mahomes’ sixhead.
Balls, you manage this site but I’m being sarcastic. Yet after six months of quarantine I’m coming out swinging. We all need to meet up. I’m tired of pandering, which is phoniness.
Sounds good to me
Obama because he soothes the masses whenever there’s a massive protest
Andy Reid ready to use a blowtorch to make the ideal Philly cheese steak
that was a GREAT throw
In other 2020 news, we’re getting a RoboCop series without RoboCop.
https://moviehole.net/exclusive-mgm-working-on-robocop-series-focusing-on-young-dick-jones/
Fuck Hollywood in the ass with a rusty nail studded dildo
Gotta be at least one exec whose into that sort of thing
I would prefer a prequel that centers on Clarence.
They did that with ‘That 70’s Show’: after too many years putting up with Kitty and Eric, Red finally snaps and turns to a life of crime.
I laughed so hard at that scene.
Sweet, maybe we’ll get a prequel to Total Recall (original) that explains how fake Danny Devito got the job shadowing Quaid.
Verhoeven Cinematic Universe
Maybe we can get a prequel to Battle Beyond The Stars, because why not?
Space Cowboy origin story featuring the cast of Solo.
The KC crowd might sound like 15,000 but they look like 25,000
It’s the fat
oh yeah, league BMI champs every season
Big Ben is an overpaid puke pile.
How much pull does NBC have? I thought those middle America bakeries dont make gay wedding cakes
Well, there’s Ohio, and there’s O-HIIIIIIII-o.
Vegas ties it up!!
I don’t know shit about TikTok, but Trump hates it so I must like it. They just showed an ad.
Trust me. It’s terrible. The mind of tweens being “creative” and “expressing themselves” by all doing the exact same fucking thing as the next person. I had to delete it. It was so painfully dumb.
TENET
its james bond on acid
Mahones had a sixhead when he was young!
Was about to say – we finally found his week spot. He was an ugly baby!!
Rootbeer float was a great choice.
So we’re in agreement? The Houston Texans only touchdown drive was when Bill O’Brien was in the bathroom and the players quickly called their own plays before he could come back?
Houston’s only deep threat now is the next storm surge
Re: this game. 2020’s legacy continues.
Down 24-7, Bill O’Brien confidently turns to the running game…
And when that doesn’t work, he bravely punts from mid field.
Brave, Brave Sir Robin!
#ButtChinWisdom
I need some Watson 2nd half magic
/revision/latest/top-crop/width/360/height/450?cb=20170117231457
I have to roll a doob, dinner will be ready soon.
Ooh la la, how very European of you.
I am quite sophisticated. That’s why I hang out here!
What the hell LA logo was that?! That’s like a logo from a football game that’s not licensed by the NFL so they have stupid made up logos.
You mean the Denver FairyCorns weren’t real???
Like KHunt a couple years back Andy like his rooks to get confidence, expect another CEH td.
Hippo likes this
Hungry Hungry Hippo.
Shit. Bad goal let in by Vegas. Stars up 2-1.
Woah that was terrible.
RESPEK teh footy, and at least call them Goddamned Stars!
CEH is gonna be great until the CTE sets in.
I’d take 3-4 years and be happy, like with Terrell Davis in non-fantasy
When you combine CEH and CTE it’s gonna dehydrate Mayock.
I thought KC relied so much on timing in the passing game, that they’d be a little off. Oopsie doodle.
Vegas ties it up!
Me: “CEH kind of reminds me of Ray Rice.”
Fozz Spawn: “Let’s just hope he stays out of elevators.”
Edwards-Hellaire is going to run for 120-150 yards every week, but catch no passes nor score TDs. GODFUCKINGDAMNIT
Bet you feel stupid now. Right stupid?
stupid, but also better!
Just like when that 3rd pill over the limit kicks in, amirite?
Not so fast!
Hippo wrong.
You have somehow offended the FF gawdz, my friend. Amends must be made, blood sacrifices must be…well, sacrificed.
…and Hippo loses on the Don’t Pass bet.
Hippo, can you say that my lotto numbers will never hit?
BUHLEE DAT, Magical Pony!
“Edwards-Hilaire? He’s sucking the lifeblood out of the Texans D. When you’re having the lifeblood sucked out of you, you just sorta have accept it. Don’t fight it. You’ll need your energy for the Pentagram Ceremony. [wakes from reverie] Oh, shit. Did I say that out loud?”
-Tony Dungey
There’s nothing or nobody worth doing in Baltimore
Pretty sure it was written, produced and filmed in north LA.
/Mrs. Fozz looks at Fozz intently
And then sighs and falls asleep
Both my opponent and I have Zero fantasy players in tonight, so I’ma be all bougie and pretend this game don’t count.
Has anybody had any success with Air Fryer Wings?
Oh man, I forgot today was Thursday but am glad I started sammy watkins
That GIF is giving me flashbacks of the actual “movie.”
Rifftrax version, obviously. I’m not a complete masochist.
last funny:
winnie the pooh’s full name is wincent the poop
Who is whiter: Greg Gumble or Tony Dungy? Or me?
This is a sarcastic comment to point out how stupid that argument is.
My race is already responsible for all that is wrong with the world. Don’t besmirch it further by adding Gumble and Dungy to our ranks.
He was once a little green slab of clay…
Holy shit I just realized if you combined Gumble and Dungy you actually get Gumby.
Judge people by the content of their character not the color of their skin. Therefore, I’m hating everybody right now.
Mario Lopez is doing a commercial for NASCAR, during a Stanley Cup play-off game, using strained bocci metaphors to hype up the NASCAR race-offs.
What fucking wormhole did I fall into, and how do I get out?
Alls I know is, Slater fucks.
Oh, he do. He do.
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see also, Wal-Mart trying to look vaguely woke
When you find it, let me know. I’ve had enough of the Mirror Universe and I’m ready to go home now.
BOCCI? STOP APPROPRIATING MY CULTURE! I’M OFFENDED AND TRIGGERED! I NEED A SAFE SPACE!
Just kidding.
Seeing how the NHL is content with really bad hockey being played in the conference finals, it’s nice to have the NFL return. Seriously, they should have Ice Cowboys/Ice Raiders game moved to tomorrow and tomorrow’s game moved to Saturday to give these teams an extra day of rest in hopes this inspires them to play better.
Speaking of the Ice Cowboys, is Seguin hurt? He hasn’t done shit all since, like game 1 of the Ice Stars/Ice Broncos series
Should I feel guilty that I googled some random D-III athlete and used their info to get a student discount for NFL Sunday ticket.
That’s Good Consumer Hustle!
Only if the NCAA finds out and he gets declared ineligible.
Please don’t post Jared in the Sting codpiece.
Two things:
1. I’m guessing you saw the my accidental reposting of trump of the baron before I edited the link
2. How the FUCK you been porky? Feels like forever since i seen ya!
Every time I get into it about my life i end up with a ten post sob story, so I’ll just say good. Things are good.
Awwwww, shit
Dallas Vegas is in Intermission also.
Trump apparently walked into his nightly Nuremburg rally to the song “Fortunate Son” and the God of Irony turned inside out and disappeared.
“Well, That Just About Wraps It Up For God”
If I were the DJ I’d play The Strokes.
If I were the DJ I’d try the Brown Noise experiment.
LOL
We interrupt this halftime for a special announcement.
This week in HRTN: Brocky digs deep, Brick gets the banana and WCS pisses down the wrong leg!
Does anyone get with robot Debbie Harry?
Dude, she’s a clone, not a robot. Do you even HRTN bro?
I DUNNO MAYBE IF I WAS IN IT (runs off crying)
Patience, my friend. Soon, very soon…
Cue evil laughter and dramatic music.
(sniffs, wipes eyes) kay
I’m getting decidedly mixed messages from these two.
The lesson is, always fist the butthole, just to be safe.
Ummm, sooo asking for a friend, but there was a weed plane? Lots of weed? Ummm seen that thing anywhere?
I get the feeling that weed plane is the most popular thing in the Summer Special…
Sounds like I have the week off, so I think I’ll head out and do a little camping.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EhmVPf-XYAAFdQl?format=jpg&name=900×900
UAB and Miami are in halftime too. This is unacceptable.
I had to buy groceries, so no…I was not ready for some football.
First half about as boring as one would expect from a TNF game.
I’m slightly disappointed Bill O’Brien’s mask doesn’t have a built in dimple for his chin
Bill Cowher probably needs the chin extender.