Woo! Your Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

[turns BEST BRA EVER! admercial off]

It’s almost too much football, isn’t it? Kidding! No, it is not. TO THE GAMES!!!

Jets/Bills:

Did the Vikes front office giggle a bit when they traded the league’s best downfield wr (% of passes caught 20+ yards from LOS) to the Bills so that he could be paired with the league’s worst downfield passer? Probably. Singletary’s usage last year befuddled me-a dynamic, breakaway type back, he was used behind Gore when the latter was clearly fading. Now Zack Moss is the apple of McDermott’s and Daboll’s eyeballs. It seems that this coaching staff is in ‘Back To the 80’s!’ mode.

Fins/Pats:

I’m forced to cheer for a Pats player because I want to see Cam do well. Please shoot me.

Browns/Ravens:

So many offensive weapons on the field in this game. Should be a fun game to watch and yes, that is the first time that word has ever been uttered in the context of these two cities. Sure it’s an easy joke but… I’ve got nothing.

Colts/Jags:

Lots of debate among conservative fantasy players as to whether or not one should start Taylor. Look, the Jags have one of the worst run D’s in the league-both Mack and Taylor will have about 15 carries and a score by game’s end.

Eagles/Team:

Sanders is a goner so play Boston Scott if ya gotta. One concern is that Team has a very impressive D-line now. As always (it seems) Philly’s wr’s are nicked up-play DeSean before he joins the wounded.

Bears/Lions:

Golladay tweaked his hammy and didn’t practice on Friday. The Lions would be stupid to play him, so he’s a go? Pivot over to Hockenson, he’s my candidate for 2nd year breakout tight end.

Pack/Vikes:

Dalvin got paid! Anyway… That Minny D that one could always count on to force the issue has only 5 returning players from 2019 playing today. Reportedly, A.J. Dillon’s thighs are in action this afternoon. The fellas on the Sirius fantasy channel were gushing like schoolgirls at a K-pop concert the day the photos came out. [rolls eyes]

‘Hawks/Falcons:

Gotta love the combo of Matty Ice/his receiving options and the lousy Atlanta D. Perhaps his first 5,000 yard season is in play? He’s been very close twice before. There will be no fans at this game. By choice.

Raiders/Panthers:

Everyone is jawing about Ruggs 3 but 3rd round wr Bryan Edwards did the wowing in camp. Them Las Vegans have quite a bit of young talent at the rb/wr spots-how long before they give Carr the old boot?

There’s your first slate. Have at it.

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Beerguyrob

Cousins tackled for safety!

Beerguyrob

State motto for Arkansas.

King Hippo

Did He Like THAT?

Redshirt

Are we still doing PornHub search terms?

Gatoraids

Only way lions make redzone player ejection

Last edited 4 years ago by Gatoraids
ArmedandHammered

I had thought he had actually lowered his head and tackled the ref, now he did no damage but is still going to pay. Should have got his money’s worth.

Brocky

That’s a surprisingly early ejection, but I guess Collins thought he was still in new England

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, you don’t touch the ref and then be surprised you get tossed.

Doktor Zymm

The NFL has always had problems with understanding consensual touching

Game Time Decision

BANNER

Doktor Zymm

At least after 5 minutes of commercials after finally breaking down and paying for a month of Sling, the first actual football I saw involved my fantasy team scoring 😀

Doktor Zymm

And then a penalty on the extra point, lol

Gatoraids

Minshew with that 6/7 for 28 checkdown Chad is happy

Gratliff

Eagles might want to consider fielding an O Line at some point

Gratliff

That’s how I explained it when my kid walked in on us the first time too

Viva La Tabula Raza

If that were Brady, personal foul call.

Doktor Zymm

Are there people in Atlanta or are they piping in crowd noise?

Gatoraids

Can looks like he did a life alert commercial with that flop

Don T

Biden commercial spotted in NFL on CBS.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good. Send cash.

King Hippo

Doesn’t he already have MOAR moneys than he can spends?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nope. A lot of that money is going toward voter protection in addition to ads in states from Texas to Florida

King Hippo

He is going HARD after the sportsball fan vote.

bk109

I’m still with Tulsi, ‘coz unlike Biden, she actually looks good semi nekkid :p

Gratliff

This is also why Joe voted for Tulsi

King Hippo

Gee, you really ARE from teh Soviet bloc, Comrade!

Doktor Zymm

Not a fan of Biden Beach Body?

bk109

Nope, not nearly as much of a fan than Tulsis :;)

bk109

FITZCEPTION!!!!! Gilmore you secksi beast!

Gratliff

After 1:
Carson Wentz 9/11 (Never forget), 123 yards, 1 TD
Née Slurs 23 yards offense, 25 yards in penalties

King Hippo

I have already closed my “Live Scoring” window.

bk109

lol “Star Trek Discovery” is now on CBS, I will LOVE to see the ratings craterin’ on that piece of shit 😀

Fronkenshteen

Can’t wait to watch AZ @ SF in the Mars-esque Hellscape.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They’re actually going to play? Holy shit.

Gatoraids

As of the 12 show they said it was a go. I know Coleman a scratch for SF due to sickel cell

The Maestro

Christ. This is insane.

Gatoraids

Elon Musk will buy the team now

Gatoraids

The fires one more reason for NFL to play the season in scuba gear.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Scott Air-Pak.

King Hippo

the fuck they didn’t just play in AZ? No fans, who gives a shit??

bk109

FUCKING CHRIST, Keep the politics away from my football stream damn it… Unless it’s Tulsi in a bikini, then I can be listenin’ intently 😀

Redshirt

That’s why I’m not telling Dad the Bengals are on until after the anthem. I want at least one more year watching football with my dad before he leaves this mortal realm.

Redshirt

ALL HAIL SHAN’KLOR

The Maestro

WE AHHH GOIN’ TO THE FACKIN’ SUPAH BOWL

King Hippo

NOBODY DENIES THIS

Viva La Tabula Raza

NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!

bk109

No, we AHHH GONNA WIN THA FAHKIN SUPAH BOWL

King Hippo

My two Superb Owl winner bets this year…are P*ts and Humps

litre_cola

Hangover update, weed, white wine made it go away.

Gratliff

Pats fans spitting on their living room floor at a mobile QB scoring a rushing TD

JustStopDude

And Browns with the first missed extra point of the season.

ArmedandHammered

I wonder why they don’t show any of the Browns on Red Zone?

bk109

The factory’s working again I see 😀

Fronkenshteen

There ya go, Scotchy.

Doktor Zymm

For the low, low price of $45/month I can get one shitty local game with commercials, hooray!

In addition to blaming the NFL, I also blame the FCC for actively promoting telecommunications oligopolies for their entire existence and stifling the competition that would allow the product the market desperately wants to exist

Don T

Praise Shanklor

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Bears defense may have to score or this is FGkakke, which never works in Bearistocrats’ favor

JustStopDude

Mark it! Mayfield did a good thing!!!

Wakezilla

Seahawks look pretty cromulent right now

Beerguyrob

The Xfinity commercial with the slowed remake of “Go Your Own Way” can fuck the hell off already.

clint greasewood

Lord Laserface is 5/5 with 95 with the baby horses.

Fronkenshteen

Yeh.

bk109

Dunno why, but watching Darth Hoodie Junior with a mask makes me wanna dial 9-1-1

King Hippo

The Two Robbies are gushing. OVER MY TOFFEES.

bk109

Retain this memory for when they decide to make you cry and curse again 😉

bk109

“Colbert is back with a new show” … Not the Colbert report? Don’t fuckin’ care then 😀

Gratliff

I don’t care how many war criminal cameos he has, I’d kill for “The Word” 4 days a week again

bk109

“War crimes” is such a strong word, “battle oopsies” perhaps? And yes, The real daily show to precede it would be worth the hidden mass graves in “certain newly freedom’d” parts of the world 😀

Fronkenshteen

Henry Kissinger is a war criminal.

Gratliff

Also, immortal, apparently

ArmedandHammered

He is probably a Vampire and is having issues finding virgin blood to rejuvenate himself, or the lizard people are withholding his treatments.

Beerguyrob

Freedom mistakes?

King Hippo

oh yeah!

bk109

Shit happens – just like a HARM missile hit a couple of houses over from my grandma (in the old country) when Clinton needed to distract people from his own “oopsies” by bombing the Serbs in ’99

Fronkenshteen

Sometimes, during day games, the shadow of the overhead cam looks like a skunk running off the field. I like that.

im high.

Gatoraids

Need NFL Dead Zone for punts, penalties and being inside your own 20.

Redshirt

Why should the Bengals get their own channel? They’re not the Texas Longhorns!

Redshirt

Washington Football Radio was mentioning personal foul and someone named Vontaze. For a second, I thought Burfict wondered onto the field and hit someone for old time’s sake.

Spur

Wentz getting pummeled. LOVE IT

King Hippo

Dakota Jeebus really is a ret…Special Young Man

King Hippo

the “dot” on the Fox screen made it look like Iggles had -7

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He prefers dirty talk

Gratliff

Raegor’s first catch is a 55 yard bomb

bk109

Bombs are in pounds (and USD) … oh.. wait… yeah, sure 😀

JustStopDude

So a moronic fake punt only results on 3 pts. With 10-0, I am now questioning if the Browns could possibly score enough points to tie.

Fronkenshteen

GO FOR IT HUMPS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Am I allowed to complain about the delay on my illegal stream?

bk109

Of course, just because it’s free it doesn’t mean that it removes your God given right to bitch 🙂 At least not in Ireland 😉

ArmedandHammered

I am pretty sure the NFL would like to hear about it.

Doktor Zymm

Complain away, although it’s probably better than most legal streams. The NFL has no shame

Redshirt

Just be sure to use your real name, Roger Goodell.

Gratliff

WTF with the patented 15 yard personal foul when the Eagles are backed up behind their own 20

King Hippo

oh, #ThePauls. NEVAR CHANGE