Your “You Can Thank Covid For This Bounty” Monday Early NFL Football Open Thread

I don’t know about you but I get all turgid and giddy when there’s the slightest change to the NFL schedule. Does it feel like practice for your Thanksgiving? I mean, we’ve got a great tilt (potentially) that dovetails right into the regular Monday Nighter. Plus with the teams that are involved there’s simply tons of fantasy scrums still in the balance. I myself need an ungodly amount of points from Tyreek to make my loss not seem quite as epic in one of my leagues.

TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Bills:

-Newcomer rb Bell isn’t a go so this might be the last hurrah for CE-L. He was the shiny new thing way back in the first week but has since not done much of note. One would expect that being a feature back in this sort of dynamic offense would yield more than the pedestrian 3.6 ypc mark he carries like an albatross around his neck.

-Although he (much like Mahomes) came back to earth a little bit, Josh Allen’s stats are still so much better than last year’s. His ability to extend plays and break down defenses gives him some great numbers on passes over 20 yards-he’s 12-19 for 376 yards (a 31 yards average) with 3 TD’s and a 124.6 passer rating.

-Singletary got 23 touches last week! I guess myself and Hippo can stop whining for at least the time being. Look for more of that because the Chiefs can be run on and backup Yeldon is out of this one.

-The Bills had a rep for a stout D last year but this year despite talent on the d-line they’re having trouble generating pressure-PFR says they’re the 4th worst in the league.

-Your sneaky play this week? It could be Gabe Davis-he saw 9 targets last week, has 2 TD’s on the season and due to the presence of Diggs and Brown, he almost never sees a quality cb.

Enjoy these riches!

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
193 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wooooooooo Devin Singletary ended up .4 points shy of beating me

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Wish he was my dad”
–Adrian Peterson’s kid

Redshirt

Darkwing Duck not-a-pilot was a nice tribute to the past Darkwing Duck series with a few nods to the original DuckTales series and it even had a Bonkers cameo thrown in. But it did set up the characters if they do decide to do a spinoff but without it being a carbon copy of the original.

How was the game?

Mr. Ayo

The answer might shock you! Details in the next post…

TheRevanchist

Sorry, Josh! Take the L and don’t show your face around here again.

Recovery Whiskey

Andy Reid looks like he wants to run through a brick wall

Sharkbait

comment image

Game Time Decision

Theres the interception

Horatio Cornblower

“Nailed it!”

Blair Wa-Hey!-
/Horatio runs in and shoves Blair off his chair

“Nailed it!”

Horatio C.

Horatio Cornblower

Yep, Mike Pereirra, just sittin’ back in LA in a 3-piece suit, watching the game and toobin it.”

Recovery Whiskey

Touchdown Seahawks

King Hippo

Some pretty poor officiating. Seems they should know the rules.

Game Time Decision

Its bad when Troy and Joe get it right

Last edited 4 years ago by Game Time Decision
Horatio Cornblower

Bradshaw, calling his own plays: “Franco, I’m probably gonna give it to you. Swannie, you and Stallworth go long, in case I change my mind. And shit, if this don’t work, the defense’ll just get us the ball back and we’ll something else!”

Recovery Whiskey

Red State Football

TheRevanchist

Why did he run out of bounds? UGH!

Downfield Matriculator

Twice!

Horatio Cornblower

Josh Allen on the sidelines just praying for the defensive stop that will allow him to throw a backbreaking interception.

King Hippo

He would if he thinks. Thinking makes u gay obvs

Game Time Decision

CAN’T WAIT

Mr. Ayo

There it is!

Game Time Decision

Can you tell me next weeks winning power ball numbers too?

Horatio Cornblower

69420

Duh

Recovery Whiskey

Makes that look easy

WCS

Womp womp

Don T

YES!
-L. Bell

TheRevanchist

Andy Dalton has a winning record to his name? It was literally above .500. I’m just in shock.

Doktor Zymm

In the NFL? Or are they including his college and high school games?

Horatio Cornblower

They don’t count postseason

Unsurprised

There’s a postseason?

rockingdog

Its raining in Buffalo

Horatio Cornblower

A guy I knew in college would always refer to him as “James’ The Best Thing I Ever Wrote Was Sesame Street’ Taylor”, because his roommate loved Taylor and would play him all the time.

SonOfSpam

Touchdown, goyim Edelman.

Doktor Zymm

I think we’ve gotten to the point in the pandemic where I need to rearrange my furniture to break the monotony of the days

Horatio Cornblower

I am legitimately looking forward to cleaning out my shed this week.

I am supposed to be in Mexico.

I am definitely going to get bombed on margaritas tonight.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to Mexico over Thanksgiving, and they will have to close the border to stop me.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, we suck.

SonOfSpam

Zymm, bored:
comment image

Recovery Whiskey

I bet Troy Aikman wishes he could remember making plays like that

Horatio Cornblower

Gritty-Down!

Recovery Whiskey

“I bless the rains down in Buffalo” — Toto, a top ten all time Canadian band playing bar gigs in Upstate New York

Game Time Decision

Thought that song was by SnoSno

Col. Duke LaCross
Horatio Cornblower

Her husband came out of a tiger’s digestive system.

SonOfSpam

I thought her predilection for pussy was already established.

rockingdog

LOL

Recovery Whiskey

Walmart as the blended family friendly alternative to the monolithic fear factory Amazon. Bold strategy Cotton.

Recovery Whiskey

“Lucky kick” — B. Walsh

Horatio Cornblower

2020, everyone

comment image
ExxonMobil

@exxonmobil

We are aware of the President’s statement regarding a hypothetical call with our CEO…and just so we’re all clear, it never happened.
6:53 PM · Oct 19, 2020·Twitter Web App

SonOfSpam

Fortunately, we can all count on the unquestioned integrity of ExxonMobil.

Recovery Whiskey

Even Exxon wants to socially distance itself from Trump these days.

SonOfSpam

He has that stench. That “bigly losing super strongly” stench.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Wink, wink.”

Game Time Decision

Nudge nudge

hippofant

I feel like every 2 hours in 2020, I’m having to Google some random shit Trump did cuz otherwise I’m like wtf just happened?

SonOfSpam

Running like Tiny Earl Campbell.

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently Aikman and Buck criticized the opening flyover for being a waste of gas and too expensive, not knowing, or not caring, that their mics were not.

https://defector.com/joe-buck-troy-aikman-packers-buccaneers-fox-sports/

SonOfSpam

Dammit, don’t make me like them a little bit.

Game Time Decision

Awesome typo

hippofant

If Aikman is voting Biden, how many REAL TEXANS are crying in their Dallas Cowboys-branded mugs right now?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Bills are figuratively doing the table-dive.

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, the Bills as a collective may be dumber than Kelce.

Game Time Decision

Two word proof: Bill’s Mafia

Recovery Whiskey

Totally out of bounds bro

SonOfSpam

That was quite dumb.

SonOfSpam

Would be a conflict of interest since he’s already pimpin Goya.

hippofant

He is apparently a fan of the Bill-Bar: https://www.theringer.com/nfl/2020/10/19/21522303/josh-allen-time-to-believe-buffalo-bills-afc-east-nfl-2020

Is Buffalo Wild Wings even based in Buffalo?

SonOfSpam

No, the wings are made from buffalo. And love.

Doktor Zymm

I’m just glad no one is trying to make mozzarella using milk from Bills players

Redshirt

This game may be boring, but I will stick with you all until its finish as it is my sworn duty.

(sees Poorly Disguised Darkwing Duck Pilot on Disney)

(runs out of DFO Clubhouse)
I’ll be back for the later game. Let me know who wins this snore fest!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think our new code word for masturbating should be “toobin’.”

Like, “go away, toobin’!”

Doktor Zymm

The similarity to ‘tubing’ will cause a lot of amusing confusion at water parks

Horatio Cornblower

That’s OK, water parks are never going to open again anyway.

Recovery Whiskey

Vaccine in the next week. — Trump, probably

SonOfSpam

“My chick walked on me while I was toobin to man-on-man but I told her she’s the one with the problem.”

TheRevanchist

Excerpt from The Life And Times of Mr. Garrison

Recovery Whiskey

Not to be confused with former Seahawks running back Robert “banana skates” Turbin.

rockingdog

Hubie Halloween on Netflix is gooood
would recommend

TheRevanchist

Conversely, Hubbie Halloween on Hallmark channel is exactly the opposite of gooood
would not recommend

King Hippo

You just saw how fast Mahomes’ brain works, as he remembered the rule – once you cross the Maginot Line, can’t go back and still throw.

Horatio Cornblower

Something the Germans found out somewhere around Bastogne.

Recovery Whiskey

Angry fat guy on the field

TheRevanchist

Mad about missing snack time

King Hippo

Like the day they announced the #NuAIDS closure of buffets.

Recovery Whiskey

Probably why he uses a portable sneeze guard as a mask.

King Hippo

Totes ripped it off in anger, Hulk-style

litre_cola

That was impressive by Mahomes.

Recovery Whiskey

That was comical

litre_cola

Line was KC by 5.5 going to be tight.

litre_cola

Wait, Troy just said TE’s play basketball. Get outta here.