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Your “It’s The Great Debate!” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut

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HEBER! HARLOW! Who Ya Got? The actual great debate going down tonight is as a football fan, should I dare cast my eyes on the fetid refuse that is an interdivisional NFC East contest? No, you didn’t deserve this. As for the other one tonight-I would pop in if this were an exchange of ideas but we all know that’s a sham of an artifice foisted on dumbsters by a corporate media claiming to be “doing their part” to help the democratic process along. Yeah, that worked in  the 1800’s (debatable) but we’re long past that now. Best to watch large and speedy fuckers knock heads, right?

TO THE GAME!

Giants/Eagles:

-Miles Sanders is out but Sterling Shepard (predicting he would miss time early in the season is the easiest money ever made) and Desean are in.

-Just a reminder that NFC East teams are ‘led’ by these guys-Danny Mistimed Throw, Kyle Allen, Andy Dalton and Carson Wentz. The latter is ranked highest by PFF at 17th and that’s a reason right there to question their metrics. (I find a lot of their stuff quite interesting btw, I just wanted to do a joke thingy)

-The Jizziants have thrown downfield to te Engram exactly once so far this year-at the combine he ran a 4.42 40. Of course the best te’s like Kittle and Kelce have great numbers in comparison so I’ll just mention a doofus like Logan Ryan-he’s been targeted 14 times already.

-The Eagles have owned the Giants for some time now, their last loss occuring back in December of ’16. Of the last 24 times they’ve tussled the Battery Bearers sport a 20-4 mark.

-Detroit Lion castoff Travis Fulgham is on fire with 16 catches the last 2 weeks. Imagine how bad Philly would be at the wr spot had he not come out nowhere.

-The league average for getting a TD when in the red zone this year is at 63.7% and the Giants are pulling up the rear at 25%. FIELD GOALS AHOY, CAPTAIN!

Please join me and Gratliff as we pity-watch the hell out of this mofo.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Am I the only one who read this:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/amberjamieson/mitch-mcconnell-hands-health?origin=web-hf

And immediately thought, “McConnell won’t let his right hand vote”?

0
Brick Meathook

I’ve posted this before but I’m hungry and nostalgic.

This might be the greatest sandwich I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a Beef on Weck from Schwabl’s, I’ve had the #19 pastrami sandwich from Langer’s, I’ve had the French Double Dip from Phillipe The Original, I’ve had a real roast beef sandwich on Cape Cod with horseradish, I’ve had a Po’Boy in New Orleans, I’ve had a Juicy Lucy in Minneapolis, and fortunately I’ve never had a Philadelphia cheese steak with Cheez Whiz served by some asshole with a shitty attitude.

Pictured is a smoked meat sandwich from Schwartz’s Deli in Montreal (Charcuterie Hébraïque de Montréal), the best of them all, in my opinion. I never drink soda pop, but a small Coca-Cola is the perfect match for this sandwich.

comment image

4
SonOfSpam

What is the specific meat assortment?

And say it slowly.

3
Brick Meathook

Smoked beef. You can have medium-fat (which they recommend) or high-fat (which is awesome). If they sell anything besides a smoked meat sandwich with mustard on rye with a Coca-Cola and a dill pickle I am unaware of it.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

That looks amazing

1
BeylesMuse

I go with the cherry Coke myself, but otherwise you, good sir, are spot on.

1
Mr. Ayo

I’m surprised they didn’t poison it for not ordering in French.

Wait, do you speak fluent French?

2
Brick Meathook

In Montreal they love Americans. They hate English Canadians. Plus, Schwartz’s is a Hebrew deli, so they can play it flat or round, to quote the Texan.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

He is Brick. Mais oui!

1
Brick Meathook

See my little notebook there? I kept it full of useful Québécois expressions. If the locals saw that you were American and even attempted to speak to them in horrible Québécois they loved you. They hated the English Canadians who looked down on them. Plus, I paid in American money and didn’t understand the exchange rate, so they loved me even more for that.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Juicy Lucy is trash, IMO. Cheese goes on top of a burger, not inside it. I have had several of the other sandwiches you mention here and they were all heavenly.

0
Brick Meathook

(Note to self: cancel shipment of Juicy Lucys to RTD for his birthday)

2
Brick Meathook

I’ve also had a Big Mac, which I have to admit is a pretty good sandwich. So is the Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and so is the Filet ‘O Fish sandwich, and their fries are pretty good. I’ll eat at McDonalds maybe once a year, and it’s amazing, and I’ll go back the next day and later on I’ll be in my bathroom regretting all of my life’s decisions.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I sure like the Skywalker/Picard UberEats ads better than these gymnast ones.

1
SonOfSpam

Hamill and Stewart are just so damn likable. Good people, and I’ll buy whatever they’re selling, except Uber Eats because fuck Uber. But still!

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

So, I passed out after a bottle of cab and assorted scotch drinks, and it looks like I missed an exciting finish.
Who gives a fuck?

1
SonOfSpam

/puts hand halfway up, looks around, lowers it

4
yeah right

Hope y’all read the Atlantic. They almost never endorse someone for president.

Just a reminder.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/10/atlantics-endorsement-against-donald-trump/616815/

5
SonOfSpam

Daniel Dale, on CNN (he’s a fact-checker and a good egg): “For a fact checker, you’re kind of sitting there w/Biden. Occasionally you’re like oh that’s wrong. With Trump you’re like the ‘I Love Lucy’ episode in the chocolate factory. You don’t know which one to pick up because there’s just so much.”

4
SonOfSpam

Wife just put on the American Utopia movie on HBO and now I’m really sad we killed Broadway and I wanna go see it let’s have a DFO outing and make David Byrne start the show again in 2022 who’s with me

1
yeah right

That was the same show I saw at Red Rocks in 2018 or whenever the world wasn’t a fucked up dystopian nightmare and it was amazing.

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/10/02/boots-on-the-ground-things-to-do-in-denver-when-youre-drunk-pt-2-red-rocks/

2
SonOfSpam

Thank you for your service, and I mean that.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I saw the American Utopia three times live when it toured, twice in San Antonio and once in Maryland. It was almost as exciting, and in some ways more exciting, than Stop Making Sense.

2
SonOfSpam

Awesome, insanely jealous. You, I shall end last.

0
yeah right

It was very much predicated on Stop Making Sense. If you notice the band is wearing the same neutral grey outfits. The choreography is similar. The camera swoops and angles are the same. It’s a perfect coda to Stop Making Sense. Including all of the Talking Heads songs.

Amazing shit.

Life affirming.

2
yeah right

And not to polish my credentials…

/huffs breath to polish credentials

I did see Talking Heads in 1984 at the Greek when there was a seed of an idea germinating – and Adrian Belew playing guitar – and again in Long Beach on the actual tour where they recorded Stop Making Sense.

There may have been were hallucinogens involved

2
SonOfSpam

That was about the time I first got into them (because I am young and vibrant WAS CARDED AT TRADER JOE’S TONIGHT) and I really wish I had a time machine.

1
yeah right

My favorite memory was the first time I saw them at the US Festival. the groove was intense and primal and fierce and I’m a white guy and it forced me to open my eyes and dance.

I never danced like that before or since.

And it opened my eyes to the rest of the world.

Yeah.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIYSLr6AKiQ

1
Unsurprised

The audio makes it perfect, but this is so good on its own.
comment image

8
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s perfect

0
Unsurprised

Don Draper Sells Little St. James Island

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIl9kTBuMAw

Last edited 5 years ago by Unsurprised
0
Brick Meathook

There’s some guys who know how to get laid.

1
SonOfSpam

Still wanna believe horndogBilly only did legal chicks, but if it ever comes out that underage girls were involved lock them all the fuck up. The other three have definitely raped underage girls.

3
Unsurprised

I sometimes wonder if I were still in New Mexico and in Dem politics there how much I’d hear about the shit that went on at his ranch there.

3
SonOfSpam

Oh, horribleness was definitely afoot there. And whoever was involved, fire them into the sun.

1
Brick Meathook

yeah but they all got laid

2
TheRevanchist

Michael Irvin: “I thought that was a good game.” Just how many drugs did he do?

2
Doktor Zymm

‘good’ can mean many things

1
Senor Weaselo

Uh, all the cocaine?

1
SonOfSpam

Hey if you had the Giants and the points…

2
Brick Meathook

Terry Bradshaw: “That was a well-played football game”
Michael Irvin: “I thought that was a good game”
Carson Wentz: “That was an ugly game”

3
Doktor Zymm

Well, fuck.

122501772_10157688458862849_2046508257366723519_o.jpg
4
SonOfSpam

Anyone here actually had that? I have not. Would be interested in a description.

1
Doktor Zymm

Not that particular ‘flavor’, but it’s a fortified wine, Night Train with food coloring, not much description needed

1
SonOfSpam

I think I’ve had Night Train? So if it’s the same, it’s not bad then quickly horrible.

2
Doktor Zymm

That’s a fine description.

2
Doktor Zymm

Also applies to the people I know who have shoplifted and shared this particular concoction

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah I’ve had mad dog but not this flavor. It all tastes like garbage.

Last edited 5 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
2
SonOfSpam

Just don’t besmirch the good name of Zima.

1
yeah right

Yep. Guilty as charged. It ended as badly as you would expect and I’ve never bought a Mogen David product since.

Shit I haven’t had a grade soda since then and that was 1983.

2
Brick Meathook

I drank a bottle of “MadDog” after my high school graduation, out of a paper bag, in Ocean City Maryland back when that was still a honky-tonk beach town. I’m pretty sure I later puked.

There’s a great website that explains it all. MD 20/20, Thunderbird (the worst), Night Train, Ripple, etc, and the histories behind them. Even that horrible stuff they serve in old Chicago bars.

Bum Wines:

http://www.bumwine.com

Last edited 5 years ago by Brick Meathook
3
SonOfSpam

Shut up, “Bookmarks” yes I want to add that site

2
Doktor Zymm

Very glad they have Wild Irish Rose in there. Not had it myself, but aware of its spot in the pantheon

1
Brick Meathook

It also has Boone’s Farm (in the “Other” section), although that was probably more of a mild strawberry flavored wine-cooler. Something alcoholic girls would pack for a big outdoor rock music festival.

2
Don T

RICHARDS WILD IRISH ROSE
“Dale hasta abajo mami, no te pongas bicha. Que si te despeinas vas mañana al beautician. No es obligao, ‘ta to’ hablao, si no quieres no chichas. Yo sigo fumsndo y bebiendo vino Richard”
https://youtube.com/watch?v=B52112AAeh8

2
Mr. Ayo

Huh, according to their rankings I need me some Cisco.

2
Brick Meathook

Beware of Cisco’s “legendary two day hangover” and what it does to your face

1
Mr. Ayo

I’m used to two day hangovers already. And nothing can make this visage any worse.

1
Brick Meathook

Cisco is for you. Alcohol delivery at an economic price.

1
SonOfSpam

That’s pretty fucking funny.

1
Mr. Ayo

Well actually, they scored on that drive anyway so that wasn’t the problem.

/Rereads post
//Locates dull knife
///Commits slow, agonizing seppuku

1
SonOfSpam

////watches the seppuku, cums

1
Doktor Zymm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-I_7mjPz8

0
Brick Meathook

Game’s over. I’m going to go back to reading my book about the Vietnam War. I’m up to 1965 now and the U.S. has assembled an All-Star team: Johnson, McNamara, Rusk, Rostow, two Bundy brothers, Wheeler, Taylor, Westmoreland, et. al. These guys can’t possibly lose! Please, no spoilers.

6
SonOfSpam

Alls I know is, I was born in 1969 but did not serve in Vietnam because of bone spurs.

1
Brick Meathook

That’s when they needed you most. A kid like you could have crawled through Viet Cong tunnels like nobody else.

2
SonOfSpam

Plus, my mobile was all claymores.

2
Brick Meathook

You’re a born killer! Lemme’ see yer war face!

2
SonOfSpam

Going into journalism.

Also, I am too beaucoup.

3
TheRevanchist

On NFL Network, they are licking Wentz’s third nipple.

He was crap. They were crap. Everything was crap.

2
Unsurprised

Ek–lKFXYAA_HAX.jpg

That’ll post.

0
Gratliff

I now hate Tony Gonzalez

0
SonOfSpam

Jeff Bezos has his sloppy seconds (or fortieths if we’re being realistic).

0
Recovery Whiskey

Lets hear it for denying the NFC Least a playoff spot. Come on pundits you wanted to take Seattle’s NFC West away 10 years ago for 7-9. What do you bitches say

2
Horatio Cornblower

As a Cowboys fan, I’m all for it.

1
litre_cola

Take the home game away

1
Doktor Zymm

Nah, I love the randomness of throwing a shitty team in the mix, and remember Seattle won that game and gave us an epic Marshawn Lynch Mario Star run.
https://fansided.com/2014/12/23/marshawn-lynchs-79-yard-td-run-set-super-mario-bros-tune-video/

2
Doktor Zymm

Better, thank you!

1
Recovery Whiskey

Point of historic order – this is the Beastmode II run; the following year against the Cardinals. Here’s the playoffs one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSBJxtEed1s

0
Senor Weaselo

If you took the best parts of Darnold and Jones, you still wouldn’t have that great of a QB.

2
Doktor Zymm

Doing Eli’s legacy proud!

2
TheRevanchist

Pretty sure he is just a clone. Looks like him. Fuck ups just like him. Share a jock strap.

1
SonOfSpam

Eli heard “legacy” as “Legos” and is excited.

2
litre_cola

1st place is 2-4-1!!!!

2
WCS

My bad, coach.

1
Recovery Whiskey

2-4-1 first?

1
Doktor Zymm

The worst first!

1
Gratliff

Ladies and gentlemen, your first place Philadelphia Eagles. God help us all.

1
scotchnaut

Dimes is the best fumbler in the business.

Good Fucking Night.

1
Sharkbait

There it is. Backbreaking Jones fumble.

3
Mr. Ayo

He really can’t hold on to a football.

1
Recovery Whiskey

Boom. Ballgame

1
Gratliff

Inevitable

1
Doktor Zymm

Historically, the Giants are only able to make improbable last minute drives work against good teams

4
Senor Weaselo

Specifically the P*ts.

1
Doktor Zymm

Yeah, it’s a weirdly specific talent, but I dig it

0
TheRevanchist

Was that some kind of vibrator?

If so, is it good on a prostrate?

2
Unsurprised

So close to greatness
comment image

2
Recovery Whiskey

Sideline Shake-Weight

1
Unsurprised

Nah. This is just more of them jerking off.

1
Sharkbait

With bonus crotch shot

1
clint greasewood

https://youtu.be/x-64CaD8GXw

0
Gratliff

Doug’s lost his 2pt playbook

0
Mr. Ayo

Danny Dimes with 40 seconds and no timeouts?

Book it!

4
Sharkbait

BLEERGH is feasting here

0
Brocky

jesus christ giants lol

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

What is that horseshit play call?

0
Gratliff

Moar flag

0
TheRevanchist

Number 69

0
Doktor Zymm

TD Boston? Oh, his NAME is Boston!

2
scotchnaut

It was written.

2
litre_cola

HELLL YYYEAAHHHHHHHH

0
Gratliff

Perfect throw vs stupid throw every time

0
WCS

SUDDEN CHANGE

1
Doktor Zymm

Magic 8 Ball, will the NFC East be decent this year?comment image

5
Gratliff

Eagles are gonna do it if the Giants have to carry Wentz in themselves

2
scotchnaut

FLAGKAKKE

0
litre_cola

Come on Carson. Vulture this shit.

0
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