You know what people say, “There’s no cake like home”. And I heartily agree. Thank bejeezuz neither my wife or I are into baking. That would transform my “I can turn this thing around in 2 months with proper diet and exercise” body into a “Son! C’mere, I need help getting out of my chair again!” frame. And so it goes… I don’t touch the dessert offerings at any gatherings because that sweet tooth has a mind of its own.
TO THE GAME!
Fins/Raiders:
-It’s That Simple: Miami just has to win out to get into the postseason. They get the Bills after this one.
-Last week Salvon Ahmed became the first Fins back to run for 100+ yards in 32 games.
-Marcus Mariota came off the bench for The Goth Tosser and played well. But that’s sorta his whole career though, right? He’s a smattering of excellent play interspersed generously with silly passes and dumb decisions. He’ll always be that, “If he just got it together..” guy.
-Tighten Up! The Fins gave up a league-worst 30.9 point per game last year and are the league’s best this time around with an 18.4 mark. (Funny, I do recall them having a half-decent unit last year. They must have gotten their doors blown off a few times during “The Culling For Tua”)
-As mentioned quite recently, Miami’s D is a different kettle of fish-they’re leading the league in takeaways and stopping teams on third downs (33%). They also have not allowed a TD in three straight tilts. Cb Xavien Howard has more intercepts (9) than nine other teams.
-Going With The Theme: The Raiders need to win out to get into the playoffs but need help along the way. Not helping? Their D has given up 2 passing TD’s in 5 straight games.
Do me a favour and type your heart out.
So…is this actually the Dolphs being smart about developing a young QB, or is it just randomness that happened to swing that way?
Fitz is on! Chance of Arm Punt: 60%
Coming out the bullpen for relief duty here comes Fitzpatrick
so obviously I’m not an expert on anything but if anyone needs to hear it….
DO NOT BUY HBOMax for the sole purpose of watching wonder woman 1984, its not worth it
It’s terrible. Saving grace: Gal Gadot is in almost every scene.
I’m having a hard time describing its flaws, but, its like unforgivably bad.
like hardcore dc fans are the only ones that are gonna really enjoy it.
and no that’s not a porn joke
The floaty physics, the horrible pacing of the movie, Pedro Pascal did good but the character is trash for a villain, set in 1984 but no 80s music, kinda abandoned the whole 80s thing after the first 40 minutes of the film.
As a friend of mine said today, if Gal Gadot were reading the ingredients off of a soup can I’d buy a ticket.
Huh. Guess the traditional Miami QB holiday gift is no longer in vogue.
He still endorses them!
?v=1584646857
He looks like the evil robot Tim Allen from the second Santa Clause movie
Endorsement
OJ has fit issues with Isotoners
My Aunt is a nun, and was the principal of the girl’s high school that Marino’s wife went to. Our school district went on strike, so our parents sent my cousin and me to another Aunt’s house so we could go to school at Sacred Heart. We spent the week we were there getting wasted with the neighbors kids, and ditching Marino’s wife Claire, the nice girl the nun Aunt had us hanging out with. We thought she was a huge narc, so we spent the school days hanging with the bad girls in the smoking area.
That sounds super fun!
repressed catholic school alcoholism is best alcoholism!
Fitzmagic is a lumberjack and he’s okay
Chucky looking displeased
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okiCApJeonQ
13 all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2apXO0RXYo
Kurt Warner’s career pivot to “Buy Here, Pay Here” used car dealership owner appears to be a complete success.
All set to purchase a 2009 Nissan Altima with 285k miles on it for just $4000 down and 17% APR for only 84 months!!
This is because I have a credit score of 7.
Also, they can’t seem to find the exact title for it, but a photocopy of something similar but smudgy is probably fine.
“credit score of 7” made me chuckle
I don’t know my credit score, but recently Equifax took me off its No-Fly List.
Still on Vogue’s Not Fly List though
Warner’s shirt and tie combo is great. The red jacket—Dios mío. Only breakdancers can pull off that look.
Agreed. Put a black suit jacket over that and he looks classy AF.
Picking a movie for later. Is The Irishman good?
I’m gonna watch Dude Where’s My Car. Yes, I have it on DVD.
I liked it, but the movie’s more a statement of Scorsese’ successful career as a director rather than being specifically successful in this one instance.
I’m Prob watching an Xmas movie with the kids.
I found it to be well made but not terribly interesting. A lot of reploughing old ground.
Like watching late-career Nina Hartley.
So in Scorsese terms, less sex education and more family violence, possible cutting off fingers.
Sounds great I’m in
I found it tedious. Except the Pacino parts, which were pretty funny.
Pacino fucking rules.
The scene where an obviously 75+ DeNiro beats the hell out of a guy is simply hilarious.
The rest of it is just a good mob movie, no more, no less, and probably too long.
Pesci did a nice job with his role.
Squirt Warner
What did you call me?
– Brenda
Squirttings gross
– Ben Carson
Oh shit, we’re going acoustic guitar.
Love you all. See you soon.
oooh lookit Jack Fuckin Johnson over here
Kurt Cobain Man Who Sold The World acoustic guitar, or Pete Seeger playing Ledbelly for white audiences acoustic guitar
Didn’t Kurt also play some Ledbelly later in that set?
That is quite the jacket that Kurt Warner is wearing.
Kurt Warner has his Vegas Lounge jacket game on point
His scary wife dresses him funny.
I liked the tie. It’s geisha print.
Also, since I’ve been busy with holidaying stuff, not sure if we’ve done a roundup of this yet…
What was the best present you received this year, and why?
Fun times with my lady friend.
Homemade tamales, because yum
Not having to go anywhere or see anyone was great
Got some fancy new winter boots as I destroyed the last pair
Gumby got me this chunk of Brazil wood that you put water on, and eventually it sprouts leaves. It has a tiny little carved Groot that sits on top. It’s the cutest fucking thing ever, kind of like a Chia pet, but better.
Mom got me a book: “1000 Places to See Before You Die” which means she wants me to travel or to die.
Japanese Nakiri knife. I gave it to myself as I deserved a nice thing.
I’m trying to figure out the easiest thing to make for dinner that I won’t be ashamed of. Any ideas?
Pbj
Scrambled eggs
Kraft Mac and Cheese. If you’re ashamed of it, it says more about you than about the humble, hard-working noodles.
I would totally do that, but I don’t have any. I’m kind of leaning toward naan bread pizzas with Italian chicken sausage, mushrooms, and black olives.
Ooooh. This is good as shit. I did Greek pita pizzas earlier this week. Little pizzas are always a winner.
I just have to cook the sausages, the rest is pretty much assembly.
Ramen noodles
Zoom calls are finally done, and I can finally give getting intoxicated the attention it deserves.
Wait, today is Saturday, right? Those Zoom calls weren’t for work, were they?
No, no… family Zoom calls. Hosting my parents and Lady Maestro’s all at once.
Hes famous adjacent now, has to deal with the fans and media
You’re right!
Tricky!
Fake punt worked. Wow
Watching on a delay isn’t awful, I get a heads up when something nifty is about to happen
I’ll try not to spoil things
Just realized the Cure Bowl isn’t related to Carr’s favorite rock band.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY-zoTZjSVM
I assume its an antivax gathering to super spread COVID
Pretty soon it will be 10:15 Saturday Night.
The only question is who posts it first.
If the Raiders make the playoffs, do you think Carr might mix it up and use silver eyeliner?
I was going to make mushroom pasta tonight for dinner, but my mushrooms went bad, and I’m inordinately upset now.
I thought “moldy” was peak mushroom
I’m no Alfred Einstein, but if you think either of these teams deserved a shot in the CFB Playoffs then I can only assume your lobotomy was successful.
I’m assuming you’re speaking about the Dolphins and Raiders.
With Miami and Vegas it’s probably more of a syphilis-induced brain void.
Beat me to it.
Holy shit. Jon Huber, who was Brodie Lee in AEW and Luke Harper in WWE, died.
https://twitter.com/AEW/status/1343006487988342786
He hadn’t been on the show for a while; according to his wife, he was dealing with a non-COVID-related lung issue at the Mayo Clinic.
Didn’t he just win the championship?
He won the TNT belt off of Cody a while back, but lost it back to him shortly before his absence began.
Is this more commercials than usual, or am I just too sober?
Too sober.
If only there was a way to fix that
I feel we should be posting Cure songs appropriate to the bowl game.
Example: There are 17 seconds left in the first half:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRI5fDAtw5s
Hey this is crazy, but here’s a touchdown pass, McCall me maybe.
/preparing to interview to be Berman’s replacement
It just occurred to me that the opposite of a tight end is a loose end, or possibly a loose middle
This just occurred to you?
– Sasha Grey
Not Wide Receiver? — Camille Kostek
Whatever sense of I time I had is totally gone this year. I have no idea what day it is, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have work tomorrow so it’s all good
Cure Bowl winning offensive line gets a six-way with Mrs Falwell.
aka “Wednesday Night Prayers”
Tickets for the event will be available in the student centre.
Good luck getting any kind of view with Jerry jerkin it front-and-center.
Like the “Splash Zone” at a Gallagher show
I never say the name “Hugh Freeze” out loud because I’m pretty sure it’s a Bart Simpson-esque name pun but I haven’t figured out how yet.
A Hugh Freeze probably involved the Playboy mansion.
Its an all UW Huskies backfield. The 6 other people in Seattle watching this will no doubt be proud
I thought they were talking about UCONN at first then I realized this wasn’t women’s basketball.
Easy mistake to make
You two have made a powerful enemy just now.
wait, shouldn’t you be out tossing fish?
Seattle’s closed. Crab boat captain out front should have told you.
But Coach Carroll told me that wuz a ZIONIST LIE
Looks like one of Falwell’s Christ followers is gonna get tossed for throwing a Chanticleer’s head into the ground.
Remarkably, the announcers cannot seem to figure out why they’re reviewing the play. This guy is an absolute idiot.
As far as I can tell, Targeting calls have been determined entirely by coin flip for the last 5 years.
Josh Jacobs with a hole
Fuck sake, I would HOPE SO!
SUDDEN FALWELL CHANGE
Have the Raiders gone down by two touchdowns yet?
Reviews in non-Playoff bowl games should be banned.
Or the Pac 12.
similar impact on the title race, every year
Just a reminder that the new stimulus bill makes illegal streaming a felony so if anybody finds any illegal streams of this game post them here so we can avoid them
You would definitely want to avoid sportsbay
.org because that would be a felony.
Holy shit! Melissa Stark is alive! And still smoking hot! Where the hell has she been?
cryogenic chamber?
smh she never replied to my drawings of “Melissa Joan Stark,” a mash-up of her and another Melissa.
I definitely received replies to my drawings of “Melissa Moan Stark”.
They were not kind.
My understanding is that she hid underneath a couple of corpses at the Red Wedding, and then hid out in the Vale of Arryn for most of the rest of the story.
She looks different, though, like maybe some work done?
Maybe, but she still looks amazing.
You know Carr has to be distracted, not being able to watch the Emo Bowl
In an alternate timeline where Liberty is a dominant college football program, Dabo Swinney makes headlines for saying “Give me Liberty or give me death” to lobby for his team to face Liberty in a bowl game. The universe accedes by giving Dabo a haert attack*; all timelines celebrate this outcome.
*: Some of my best friends are heart attacks so I can make this joke.
On an unrelated note: if Coastal Caroligna loses this game I will be approaching dangerous levels of smug rightousness towards everyone who thought they should get a shot at the playoffs.
Everyone knew Liberty should have gotten a bid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9AWIhOwlmo
I have moneyline bet on Fightin’ Falwells, because 2020
Found a CD of Sim City 2000 while I was packing up the other day. Am I about to city build in a 25 year old game? Hell yes
CALL IT DFO-VILLE!
> Their D has given up 2 passing TD’s in 5 straight games.
Only two?
Good thing y’all close with Most Resistable Force in EVAR
Made it back from Tucson and have successfully left the dogs and kid with the grandparents. Need to fly back to get him Saturday so I can drive the entire gang home on Sunday but I’m blocking that obligation out for the next week.
Now I want cake.
That cake is the sexiest thing I have ever seen on the internet
Cakehub.com
Subscribe to my OnlyCakes account…
Considering “cakes” is slang for asses, I’m pretty sure that URL has been taken…
I just looked it up on Incognito Mode. Apparently, it’s available!
I’m legitimately shocked.
And I’m legitimately debating whether I should buy it.
Do it!
YES!
Look, DFO has to expand sometime…
That will remain true until the “tribute to the women of softcore” Sexy Friday post finally goes live.
So you’re saying I shouldn’t make cheesecake tonight?
When I lose this FF championship— and I am going to lose — it will not be because i do not have the points on my roster; it will be because I do not know how to intelligently set a line up.