Let’s wipe the slate clean the way Andy Reid uses lettuce as a napkin to wipe his mouth during a meal and then eats said napkin/lettuce afterwards. Look, it’s a form of recycling and he’s trying his best.
Well, all of our pleading, begging, crying, complaining, caterwauling, gnashing and swearing has come down to this-the likeable dude vs. the mangy old faux-vitamin seller. Damn, by the time we get to the second half it’ll be past Brady’s bedtime! But anyway, you dropped by here to interact with the lovely folks that inhabit the site, make dick jokes and say goodbye to another footed ball season so I’ll just throw some giblets out there (Petey King calls them nuggets and nuggets are gross) and we’ll be on our way.
TO THE (LAST) GAME!
Chiefs/Bucs:
-Shoutout to K.C.’s DC who goes by the name of “Spags”. He was the one who devised the Giants extraordinary upset of the undefeated ’07 Pats (remember, Tabula?) with heavy pressure from the defensive line. This time around he doesn’t have talent there but he does have some in the secondary. So he’s come up with a dime package that uses 6(!) db’s. He runs that D 44% of the time as opposed to the league average of 10%. Wherever the playmakers are, he plays to their strengths and finds a way to be effective. Much respect to that fella.
-Bucs dl Vita Vea was one of only two interior lineman that had a 20%+ pass rush success rate before he went down with an injury. This matters because…
-After losing Eric Fisher in the AFC Title Game, the Chiefs now only have one offensive lineman that they started week 1 with. (center Austin Reiter)
-Cb Carlton Davis had a nightmare last evening. It involved re-living his week 12 debacle vs. Tyreek Hill when he gave up 203 yards receiving in a little over 15 minutes. Since Mahomes became the starter Hill has 19 TD’s on passes thrown over 20 yards-that’s 6 more than the next guy.
-A difference maker goes by the name of Honey Badger-during the win over the Browns he allowed -5 yards receiving and an interception on 6 targets.
-The Bucs D has allowed the least number of rushing TD’s in the entire league at a measly 12. Dalvin Cook was the only dude that ran for over 100 yards against them and he barely accomplished it at 102.
-In all of Patty’s playoff games he has 21 TD’s combined and only 2 INT’s. Tom Brady sucks dog’s balls on a regular basis.
Scritch that itch in the comments.
Wow. He got stuffed harder than Piper Perri on that Blacked.com video.
I don’t know what that means and I will not be googling it to find out.
Prude/racist
I think it might have something to do with lovemaking.
He’s not in.
-Deanna Favre, complaining to no one in particular
–video replay review of all of my sex tapes
Who’s 50 on the Buccs? I want him to get a TD
TB is almost there.
Tevita Tuliʻakiʻono Tuipulotu Mosese Vaʻhae Fehoko Faletau Vea
Yes! Now I triple want him to score!
That must have been a bitch to bubble in on the SAT’s.
lol yeah he took the SAT
He took the jock one, where you get 900 points for showing up.
I think Vea fucked up the block on the 4th down there. He should’ve driven his man into the end-zone, not stand in between two defenders and try to split the difference.
Vita Vea is…kinda huge
Not sure which Bucs lineman is wearing cleats that look like OG color scheme Jordan 1s, but they’re sick as hell.
Watch the sneak!
FATMAN DROP!
NO FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN FOR YOU.
Haig handled that ball like it is as a war crime
Nice.
(Ran into the huddle, “I’m in charge now!”)
Mike Vrabel cackles
This is my fault for betting on the Chiefs.
Fucking Brady
Doesn’t he realize I hate him?
Uh-oh. Hope this doesn’t get out of hand too early.
The Chefs were down 24 last year and still won. It’s early.
Geoff Schwartz totally predicted that would happen on the Athletic podcast this week.
The Chiefs with a late hit there, something they likely learned from their qualified-by-nepotism linebackers coach, Britt Reid, who was out late after taking Adderall and consuming “2 or 3” drinks, and hit another car, resulting in life-threatening injuries to a 5-year-old.
doing great work here, boss. Good hustle, keep it up!
(Listen, I know we all love Andy, cuz he’s fat and jolly and whatever, but Garrett Reid died of a heroin overdose, so all this is making me wonder about Andy Reid the father just a little here.)
Just absolute garbage. I think he took maybe a month off when both his kids got arrested for heroin-related issues, then went and took the KC job.
Christ I hate Tom Brady.
“Me, too, my son.” — Christ
Lulz
Me, too
–Jesus Christ
One of them new-fangled prayers
Yeah, he’s my boy!
—Satan
Say what you will about Drake, he’s done very well for a duck
“Oh, NOW the Chiefs have no problem with kicking…” – Kareem Hunt, watching angrily at home
Fucking balls.
(Not that Balls.)
Benwa
That punt is not gonna help Redshirt’s MVP bet
Okay military aviation nerds, on that fly-by, it was a B2 in the middle, and a B1-B on the right. What was on the left? A long-body fighter of some sort? Or was it some garbage E-8 or something? Bugging me.
B52
I legitimately just blanked on those even existing any more.
Part of me wants to go, “Wtf, the USAF still has those?” And the other part of me knows, “Of course they still have those, what were they going to do, replace them with B2s?”
B-52s are scheduled to remain in service until the 2050s, making it a 100 year old design.
At some point, you might as well just fly a 747 and chuck a bomb out an open door.
Calling Brick Meathook!
I didn’t see it but I’ll say B-52
B-52
?w=640&h=481
A biplane. It’ll fuck two kinds of other planes.
A B12, also called Riboflavin.
B-1B, B-2, B-52
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liMZ1c48N4I
Once again, Drake sucks.
what the fuck is this shit?
-Najeh Davenport’s hamper
I’m just crying with happiness that you’ve come back home
Also onions
Goddammit, I chuckled at Drake From State Farm. Kill me.
I don’t know what Dexcom is, but, as likely future adult-onset diabetes patient, that’s intriguing.
I think their site just crashed.
LOL
https://twitter.com/MattTheBrand/status/1358487018716692483
I had to ask Lady BFC “is that a Jonas brother?” Just put me out to pasture.
YOOOOO
first TD in the game is BRADY TO GRONK
thats ROCKING!
The epitome of white people dancing.
No one has ever said he was a good dancer
Montana and Rice would be a good name for a terrible mexican steakhouse.
“montana rice” is what off the grid separatist accelerationists mail to the local land management officials
Chipotle: “We swear we won’t poison you a third time.”
Chipotle offering a free roll of charmin with every purchase
Couldn’t get it past JPP’s outstretched stubs.
JPP getting a finger on it, a true triumph of the spirit
Good thing that pass was to JPP’s left
Why didn’t JPP catch that?
Oh, right.
When he shoplifts it’s only a 3-finger discount
AWRIGHT MAHOMES! LET’S FART OUT A BOTTLE OF…KETCHUP POINTS…ON MY…BET STEAK…JUST SCORE A HUNDRED POINTS, GODDAMMIT!!
A Dr. Galawiekicz sighting! (No chance that’s spelt rightly)
He said hi to my dog one time outside a coffee shop near me. Knew it was him cause he was driving a very nice car.
I liked him in Justified.
I don’t think there’s a single thing he’s been in where I haven’t enjoyed his character.
I haven’t seen this much mediocrity get celebrated since the teen choice awards
This is the Ready Player One of super bowl beer commercials
Even though it’s the wrong team, it’s Gronk! He should have come to KC.
Balls got screwed over by Jimmy L for the 1st quarter prize.
Wow Gronk was wider open than Bibi Jones that night
So who had the gronk bet?
The Valtrex company
Me.
Fuck you, Nantz.
GRONKDOWN
Fuckit. I need points.
Shit, lucky that wasn’t called as facemask
Well the defensive holding penalty did as intended.
There’s 6 DB’s on the field for the Chiefs, and one DB on the sideline. The former are defensive backs and the latter is a douchebag, Britt Reid, who got in his car while under the influence of Adderall and alcohol and hit another car, resulting in life-threatening injuries to a 5-year-old child.
don’t quote me, but i think britt is still in the hospital
Yeah but that’s just because he’s trying to steal drugs.
Yeah, apparently for related issues. Which I’m going to guess is a combination of the police wanting access to his blood and his being suicidal with guilt over having gotten into his car while under the influence of Adderall and alcohol and hit another car, resulting in life-threatening injuries to a 5-year-old child.
JFC, it was on a HIGHWAY RAMP. And it was already the SHIELD CAR that got called in and was blocking for the disabled car.
How completely fucking fucked do you have to be to plow through a shield car on a highway onramp?
Well, see the thing is, when you’ve had a couple of drinks, and you’ve taken Adderall, and you’ve gotten behind the wheel of the car, you’re way past the ‘gee, how did that happen’ portion of the evening.
If you hear Brady yell “Antonio Brown” at the line it’s an audible to a comeback route.
I don’t want to know what route a “Hines Ward” is
KC needs to turn on the juice. After January 6th, we can’t let Arians take the Super Bowl, too.