Ye Olde Hippo decided to boycott this year’s game for one reason or another. Maybe he knew that Brady would win and he didn’t want to be subjected to the never-ending dick-slobbering that would ensue.
It’s funny because I thought that RTD was the one that was trying to cut down on the porn.
Anyhoo, he’s not here to give you his recap, so I am here to fill in and recap the really important things that happened yesterday. Here we go:
DATELINE: 8:00 AM Pacific Time
LOCATION: Greater Los Angeles Area, My Bedroom
My stomach grumbling woke me up from a rather nice dream I was having featuring someone that looked like Cory Chase and my lady friend. Getting old sucks, kids. Don’t do it if you can avoid it.
I got out of bed and stumbled towards the toilet. It’s a good thing it’s nearby. I take my phone with me because I do not want to run with my bare ass and possibly a dingleberry to my bed to pick it up if anyone calls. Yes, even on a Sunday at 8 AM, I could get work calls.
8:13 AM – I make my first DFO comment of the day. I complain about how early it is. It’s not banner-worthy, but hey, they can’t all be winners.
8:15 AM – I check the Live Soccer TV app to see what games are on. Athletic Bilbao is playing Valencia and in a few short minutes Liverpool will take on Man City. Time to wipe and turn the TV on.
10:30 AM – After a two-course breakfast of Metamucil (getting old REALLY sucks) and raisin bran (no you have a fiber problem!), I realize that my favourite team, Toluca, is playing and that Tigres is playing Palmerias in the World Club Cup Semifinal! I turn one TV onto one game and the other TV onto the other.
12:03 – I post my happiness on DFO about Tigres beating Palmeiras and moving onto the final! Again, they’re not all winners, folks.
12:05 – Barcelona is playing at Real Betis. I turn off the lower TV and tune in on the upper TV.
1:15 ish – Messi didn’t start the game because the coach is an idiot. Barcelona is down by one and looking bad.
1:17 PM – Messi enters the game and promptly scores. I raise a middle finger to Koeman and to Bartomeu.
2:00 PM – Game is over and Barcelona has won. It’s another 1:30 hours until kickoff at least. What to do? Oh yeah! There’s last night’s Fremantle-West Coast AFLW game! Apparently, it was played in the rain. Sounds like fun.
3:30 PM – I suppose the game will start soon. I turn on the lower TV to the local CBS station on my digital antenna. It is UNREAL how much of a delay the streaming channels are on!
3:31 PM – Yeah, I can’t do this. I put the game on mute and look for something else on the upper TV. For some stupid reason, no one is counterprogramming, so I have to go to Amazon Prime.
3:35 PM – I choose the Mexican version of Last One Laughing. I saw the Aussie version in 2020 with Rebel Wilson and I liked it. This one has Eugenio Derbez as the host and I only recognize one comedian (La Chupitos) out of the 9. There’s a hot chick there, though, so I hang around.
4:25 PM – The hot chick has been eliminated and the Bucs have taken the lead after both offenses fail to score in the first three possessions of the game. The OVER is not looking good.
4:45 PM – Oh shit! I forgot to check my squares! Lemme see… I have the dreaded 2-2, which is hilarious. I also have Chiefs 3 and Bucs 0, which is promising! The Chiefs need to hold the Bucs to a FG on the next possession and no one score for the rest of the half to win money!
4:55 PM – Holy shit, it happened! Bucs FG good! Wait what? Offsides?? On a fucking FG attempt? What kind of asshole LINES UP OFFSIDE on a FG attempt???
4:56 PM – And there’s the immediate TD toss from Brady to Gronk taking away any possibility of me winning any money in the squares pool. It’s that kind of day, kids.
HALFTIME – It’s a good thing I have this thing on mute. It’s a lot more surreal watching the performances and not knowing what the fuck is going on. Why do those people have white masks on? Is that a COVID tribute? I’m not turning the volume up to find out.
Did I mention that I made a kickass mac and cheese in the morning? The secret ingredient? Top Ramen chicken flavour packet. Trust me on that one. You’re not going to get this kind of advice on Yeah Right’s Sunday Gravy!
Start of 3rd Quarter – I should really start making dinner. I’m going to try this YouTube hack I saw for cooking frozen dumplings.
End of 3rd Quarter – Holy shit that worked like a dream! That shit was easy and delicious! Oh, and the Chiefs are kicking field goals while the Bucs are scoring touchdowns. This game is over.
End of Game – I check DFO. Holy shit 1200 comments?!? Good job y’all!!
***
Overall, I think the main reason that the Bucs won this game is the matchup between the Bucs’ defensive line and the KC offensive line/New York turnstile. It was ugly. Mahomes was running for his life all day and he STILL managed to hit his receivers in the face mask only for them to forget to use their hands.
Seriously, the Chiefs had so many dropped balls, you would think they were middle schoolers and Random Hot Hollywood Actress showed up at the dance.
I have no idea who is hot nowadays. One of the benefits of COVID is that there are no new movies and no new TV commercials telling me what brainless bimbos and mimbos are starring in movies in theatres near me.
Yes, you could make an argument that the refs were favouring the Bucs. And there were certainly some questionable calls such as the PI at the end of the half where the leg of the Bucs receiver caused the Chiefs DB to trip and fall on the WR.
At the end of the day, though, the only thing that matters is that you all were just ON FIRE with the Andy Reid son jokes. Good God!
I believe RTD is working on a post recapping all the best ones. You truly outdid yourselves and I am very proud of you all!
I am now watching the Chilean version of Infieles after watching the Colombian version of Infieles on the Pasiones network. Lots of bare boobies and asses. It’s been a good day.
Unrelated mini-EFAPs, because … why not?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXAgo5ONJ0A
The second one… I honestly hope that guy is just a really smart troll and not someone that’s a danger to himself or others… mostly the others
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNMtxtSo2fU
Music to make a Monday, not so bad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH46Cr33-h4
Wait a minute…”lady friend”…”hairdresser”….I’m beginning to think that Hippo is violating several requirements of the Shut-In Union.
He did take Metamucil though… it’s a wash.
Maybe euphemisms for his flowbee and vacuum cleaner?
Maybe he’s just becoming unhinged and started to hallucinate stuff… Him being (somehow) a proud fooking Evertonian … and his betting history (maybe seeing a betting slip caused him to snap?) sure do point towards that 😀
I would go ahead and double check the by-line on this post 🙂
Oh, Duh!
Oh goddammit.
Screw it, I’m leavin’ it up.
-Britt Reid, talking about his BAC and plans for driving home
My only #NuAIDS lockdown violation was a haircut on the sly. I ain’t (quite) made of stone.
My #NuAIDS violation is… can I plead the Fifth on my 1099s?
https://twitter.com/RepLisaMcClain/status/1358815343553245184
Man, I could really get used to these, “Sad to hear of the passing of my colleague…” tweets from members of Congress.
It was the Covid that done him in, Lisa. And he said that women who get abortions should go to prison. Fuck him, fuck you, get back under the rock you slithered out from beneath.
Yeah, reading up on him I don’t get a sense that world is going to stop revolving without Ronnie around to help.
Honest question … what’s better – scum (aka professional politicos) dying … or the same scum getting disgraced first (ie “family values” proponents getting caught balls deep where they don’t belong or running on “honor and integrity” and get caught in a corruption scandal) ?
The latter, because they’re alive to suffer through it.
Disgrace is always better, especially if it is never forgotten. I love to read obituaries that mention said disgrace in the first or second line. Haha, evil fuckers, that’s your legacy, no matter what else you’ve accomplished in your lifetime.
Disgrace is great, with the caveat that it should have actual consequences. Trump has been disgraced more times than I can count and it’s had no discernable negative effect.
True, but I’m hoping the state of New York ends his lucky streak soon. Hey, did you watch that Alice Guy Blanche documentary on TCM last night? What an amazing person I’ve never heard of before!
I did! She’s incredible and it’s a shame so much of her legacy has been buried, I really enjoyed the films of hers I looked up and watched 🙂
They were great! I have always loved silent movies. I never miss Silent Sunday Night, if I can help it.
Now that I know about it, I will try to tune in as well
I think this exchange means that DFO now passes the Bechdel test. Rock on, fairer sex!
He’s a speshul exemption, because he’s too dumb / clinically insane to grasp what shame, consequences, decorum, tying ties………………. are
Dying. Getting “disgraced” isn’t a thing among the GQP anymore.
By the way, a small bit of hypocrisy noone else may’ve noticed in Rep McClain’s Twatter – the image on top “celebrating” Michigan shows how little she knows/cares about the military (which is amusing for someone on Armed Forces’ Committee) 😀
The F-16 wing pictured there… hasn’t been a thing since the mid 00s when the 2005 BRAC changed the 127th Wing transitioned to the A-10 Warthog (and ground attack), so the “proud representative of Michigan” couldn’t be fucking arsed to look for a newer picture to display to tick of the “faux patriotism/supporting the troops” checkbox
At least it wasn’t Chinese or Russian plane. One of those patriots got busted pulling that shit a while ago. Maybe Ted Cruz?
That sounds too goddamn stupid.. so probably it was Cruz or Loui Gohmert?
Since I was bored, I did look up one of the planes just to be sure and sure enough, AF 85-490 has been stored in Arizona since 2010 …
On a completely unrelated topic, I am more than willing and (actually able) to take care of some of those planes if you lads and lasses are done with them so GIMME-GIMME-GIMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH .. I’m even prepared to pay for the odd airframe or two 😀
It was the Trump campaign.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/09/14/trump-ad-asks-people-to-support-the-troops-but-it-uses-a-picture-of-russian-jets-414883
I didn’t read the article, but – that’s a MiG-29 (and probably a newer variant, because I don’t see the bulge for the IRST system, though it may just be obscured by the angle), I also noticed that at least one of the soldiers is probably an Aghanistani or the like (headgear and a fucking AK in his arms) and basically every soldier has different equipment and weapons, so it may be a mish-mash of generic photos XD
Edit: I did find a better variant of that picture and it’s an older MiG-29, because on those the IR sensor is clearly visible!
Also: The going rate for that type of plane is under 4 mil (for the dual-seat variants) on the secondary market (slightly more for a SU-27 Flanker)
It’s a stock photo, so it’s probably a composite. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s trivial. But it was part of a general pattern of them not getting the details right about *anything*.
That was my point, lol, that it took 3 seconds and a potato-quality image to notice that shit. Hell, I’d say that the AK-wielding soldier is even the bigger giveaway, because unlike the MiG, the AK is that iconic 😀 Btw, I did read the article (after I posted, because I was curious) and it’s just insane how little effort/fucks were given to even tasks as simple as sourcing a patriotic image especially when you can use one of a billion “Band Of Brothers” homages done by soldiers and marines ever since that one photo became so iconic… Hell, the profile pic for my corporate chat and e-mail account is one of those (my reserve unit decided to be as predictable and trite as everyone else 😀 … plus the light was perfect for a pic of that sort) 😀
That’s it!
If Todd Bowles weren’t black, he’d get a HC shot with a non-terrible organization. But he is so I expect him to be under a bridge driving that swish into him within hours of Arians leaving the Bucs.
… every organization is terrible until someone unfucks it, ie – New England was mostly dogshit until it got unfucked… Or KC … Or DaPauls (if this year doesn’t turn out to be a fluke).
By the same bloody token, black coaches last a bit longer than Whitey McWhiteFace, because the media shitshow would be too great if someone gets booted after a year.
Marv! (.518) outstayed his welcome for how long in Cincy? What about Hue’s shif at the Factory (and unlike Marv! he doesn’t have a ring to give him some leeway)? Or Tomlin up in Pittsburgh? Tell me that he wouldn’t have been yeeted out of there given the playoff futility since the ’16 season… especially given the amount of self-inflicted damage thanks to (in utree’s delightfully salty voice) “PLAYING DOWN TO THE GODDAMN COMPETITION” again and again…….
The sad truth is – the colour of the skin matters way less than who you know or better yet – who yer father knew an’ did coke with, with a close second being servile enough to the ownership for you to get away with throwing others under the bus….
Also, if I may be a tad ramblier than usual… it’s because writing on this site using a phone is bloody annoying at the best of times, let alone after shwacking my knuckles onto concrete, because the tank bar bloody slipped XD
“the colour of the skin matters way less than who you know or better yet – who yer father knew an’ did coke with”
These issues are pretty well intertwined, though.
STOP POKING HOLES IN MY RANT OR I’M TELLING INTERNET MA’!
(since I recalled the “cigar incident” I must point out that ^ was a joke, not the argument just the allcaps part)
I just wanted to point out that nepotism and cronyism matters a lot more than race these days (or ever, really)
Nah, it’s cool. I wouldn’t put it quite the way you phrased it, but I didn’t think we’re really in disagreement.
Oh yeah and if I had written that both on a platform that didn’t actively annoy me into not caring about editing/re-doing a longer statement to make it less ambiguous and also when I did it when I wasn’t in active pain this may’ve been avoided entirely 😀
So I half-boycotted the game by spending the day out on the water then arrived home to flip on the game to see a guy with 2 hit songs try to stretch that into a halftime show. Little did I know that the Weeknd’s jockstrap-helmeted army was going to be the highlight of my evening.
By the time I remembered to log on here, you were over 1300 comments and I was sleepy from the rum drinks, but well done for keeping up the commentary for that shitshow of a game. I mean, every time it seemed like the hot takes were running out of gas and pulling over to the side of the highway exit, somebody else came Britt Reiding along and smashed into the comments to push the pile forward.
/at least no commenters ended up in the hospital clinging to life (I assume)
That’s a well-spent day!
The halftime show didn’t make any more sense with the volume on, so good move not bothering. The best thing about this Owl was the review on the radio this morning panning the whole thing, game, halftime show, and commercials.
I don’t know, Kevin Harlan’s call of the streaker was pretty good.
https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/status/1358611559229124610
Oh neat! We no longer have to use the embed code; we can just post direct twitter links and they’ll auto-embed!
Kevin Harlan is the absolute best!
Highlight of the night!
Tom Brady is to football what Lance Armstrong is to cycling. Give it time.
#cheatstrong
Waiting for the other nut to drop?
That’s what I’m waiting for.
Completely unrelated – as a palate cleanser, here be some GDELB for you (also, *literally* the entire thing is made using actual quotes culled from pseudo-intellectual drivel vids on youtube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGxfT-ofoFA
A little bit of that goes a long way.
My highlight of the game was being on a group text with Lady BFC’s family and introducing them to the Tom Brady baby goat picture, his combine pic, and his support/walkback of support of Donald Trump. Her sister’s fiance is a huge fan of Brady’s so i regret nothing.
/thinks about own bathroom regimen this am
Ok, i regret some things
What’s a “mimbo”? Is it this?
Sorry, but mimes (even blonde and “talented” are an automatic downvote in my religion, so … nothing personal 😀 )
“That’s funny, I always tell my ‘sexual partners’ that God wants them not to talk about it.” — many, many Catholic priests
Hey, Not all Catholic priests are paedos… in fact, I know one that’s now happily married to a person of age and with a kid on the way (true story,btw. A buddy of mine left the clergy because he met someone and for some unfathomable reason told me he wants me to be the kiddo’s Godfathar despite my … lack of connection with the big guy XD )
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hjAyQzjBmhE&feature=youtu.be
At least I won’t have to listen to her fake her orgasm.
To be fair, Kansas City boycotted the game too.
Alright! I made the Thread Picture! You have to go hyper dumb to pull that off.
God bless you for handling this recap. My boy started sharting uncontrollably in the second quarter, and I still feel like I got the better end of the deal than watching from there.
Also: I’m not sure it’s legal to take the flavor packet from one processed food and put it on another. Snack mysogenation laws are still on the books lots of places
That kid knows what’s up!
I regret nothing, and the knob-slobbering was coming no matter what.
Yeah, so much talking, yet no one wants to address the elephant in the room… Blaine Fucking Gabbert now has a ring…
Also, I do hope the DFOers have calmed down somewhat – I tried to pop by during the half-time ode to the death of music, but the site just wouldn’t load for me 🙁
Yeah, there were some issues… However, things got fixed.
My issues will never get fi… Oh, you mean the site… Yeah, that I can see getting fixed eventually (especially if the admins implement one of those embedded chat clients or do a discord channel for instantaneous and ‘uge volume shitposting)
Also yay – I got cleared by the CBI after a lovely 2 hour Skype talk about Gamestop and Nokia (I actually didn’t realize Reddit also tried to pump those too) , though the latter was awhile ago after they became the frontrunner for 5G rollout in the EU (after Huawei got assfucked for “reasons”)
They tweaked the site again, and every time that happens something else breaks. Now you can see who liked a post, and yesterday was the first time I ever noticed that.
That’s been like that at least for a week, before that I think it was only upvotes.I have noticed that of late the site is just less stable with sluggish loading and the occasion comment module glitch (like claiming that I’ve double-posted a comment, yet neither showing up after a page refresh) 😀
That must have been fun… glad to hear you’re in the clear.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4ajrv3
I’m glad as well, but then again – that’s why I tend to follow the rules and keep meticulous receipts as it doesn’t take too much effort to avoid A WHOLE LOT of grief. Plus those guys are only doing their job, so being fortright and non-cunty from the start tends to make shit appreciably less painful (just like my last random audit) 😀
Edit: For the record, the interview was indeed fun especially when I gave an outline on how herd mentality is actually predictable when it comes to investors and how one can use that for fun and profit (with a good example being AMD of late)
ARIANS EVEN HAD GABBERT AS HIS BACKUP IN ARIZONA!
Just because Yo-Gabba-Gabba has those pictures of Bruce, it doesn’t mean that he wasn’t signed based on merit (despite being Blaine Fucking Gabbert)
Jesus watches womens’ curling
“Let she among you who drew furthest from the button throw the first stone.”
That’s a lie and you know it – Jesus watches Camogie (a variant of hurling, but played by women) and despite the title drought, he’s still a Dub at heart!
found a funny:
well my name’s tom brady and I’m here to say I love having fun in a football way