Welcome back to the comment of the week feature post ramblings. Hope you are staying warm and busy. How the fuck are we already in March. This Thursday will mark a full year since I have gone into the office. I’ve been remote since then. I’m very lucky to be able to be able to work remote. For those of yous that do go into work at all, thanks for keeping the world running. I’m not ready to go back into the office, but most of that is due to me needing to taking public transit for over an hour to get there and then needing to wander through a major transit hub and then take an elevator to get into the office. All of which scares me. At work the bathroom is in a common area and it’s shared with the other businesses on the floor. Most of the people didn’t wash their hands after using the bathroom before all this pandemic stuff, not taking my chances with any of those clowns now.
At DFO we started last week with a draft and apparently we are all are a bunch of sick folk. And we all need to talk to someone about our obsession with the ladies on Archer. TTITOT and Tiger Wood’s injury took up most of Tuesday. Wednesday saw more Snaxx. Curling seemed to come up a lot during the rest of the week. I watch some of the semi-final on Saturday. Those ladies have some skill, there’s no way I could do that.
As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
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Blax: Puts together a well-thought out, funny, and informative post tying together professionsal football and personal finance in a relatable way. 12 comments
Horatio: HEY WHO WANTS TO FUCK A CARTOON!? 293 comments
You people disgust me.
Horatio Cornblower
I never think of the length of the comment thread as having much relationship to how good the post. I like this series, there just isn’t usually much to say about it other than “good job!”
So, uh, good job!
Dunstan
I love this series and it sucks I was crazy busy with work that I couldn’t read it until now.
Great job, as always, and I’ll be really disappointed if I ever meet Jalen because he can’t possibly live up to the Jalen in these posts.
ballsofsteelandfury
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Well lizard people, the good times are over. I have to watch my diet for the next month due to fatty liver, so no alcohol (not that I was drinking much).
And I’ve turned down (free) pizza and chocolate.
Please just give me the ol’ Kremlin suicide. (Better me than Panarin, right?)
Senor Weaselo
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Meanwhile, the rest of us managed to get one tip closer to SonOfSpam.
Please don’t get your tips any closer.
SonOfSpam
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BREAKING: Alex Smih has a personality. From GQ interview:
Don T
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Look, I’m not saying that Tiger Woods was drunk and on pills, but Andy Reid just offered to adopt him.
Dunstan
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There’s a NASCAR race sponsored by a vodka, which is promising.
Horatio Cornblower
Is part of the sponsorship deal that each driver has to pound a liter of product before they wave the green flag? Because THAT would be worth fucking watching.
Viva La Tabula Raza
*litre
litre_cola
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You’ve never been to Hawaii?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Twice last year!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Video not available in my country. I haz sad.
Great recap Ballsy, really makes me miss the dumb escapism that show provides.
litre_cola
Stupid geoblocking!
ballsofsteelandfury
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thats ROCKING!
rockingdog
“Accidentally”
ballsofsteelandfury
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So I finally signed up for a dating app a couple of weeks ago, and holy fuck does it bring out my judgmental side.
Too many typos or emojis? Swipe left.
You mentioned your star sign or you work in “holistic” something-or-other? Big swipe left.
You “love to laugh?” Yeah, who doesn’t?
I just remind myself that they’re all judging me just as harshly. “Hangs out on an internet football dick joke forum? SWIPE LEFT AND REPORTED.”
Dunstan
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(deep breath)
Listen now and hear him hoodwink
His cult they don’t think
You’ll think he’s fatter than DeLuise
He summons kids with pills, although he can’t erect
He likes the young ones
‘Cause they never tell the police
Fat like a piggy when he belly laughed
Big like ol Bill Taft
Because he eats like an asshole
Hannity;s got the mad hits
He’s watched by halfwits, you try to stab him in his neck roll
He on a break and take a steak
I’d like to beat him with with a rake
I like a gun, it’s the deadliest of weapons
Just hear his show, ’cause then you’ll know
That fat fuck is gonna grow
‘Cause he’s so stupid that
You’ll have to put a clip in
How can I help it if I think it’s funny he got sick
Trying hard not to smile at this limp dick
I’m the kind of guy who laughs at his funeral
Can’t understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to hate that motherfucking cunt
Now that he’s dead I’ll be beating off a lot
It’s been…
SonOfSpam
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This guy/gal
Gumbygirl
The last tie I saw a cardinal that pleased with itself, it was covering up decades of child abuse.
Dunstan
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UTree’s taking this as well as expected
Ben Roethlisberger will indeed be back as the #Steelers starting QB this fall. Just connected w/ the two-time Super Bowl winner’s agent, Ryan Tollner, who said this: pic.twitter.com/YnWRWwkbeM
— Aditi Kinkhabwala (@AKinkhabwala) February 23, 2021
bk109
Ugh. Welp, there’s still time for a career ending rollover crash. Always look on the bright side!
Gumbygirl
bk109
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It’s only a flesh wound
Gumbygirl
May be going to hell
“So, what’s his handicap now?”
Yep, going to hell for sure
LemonJello
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So, Civ recently introduced Vietnam, and they’re an amazingly fun civ to play, but their capital city is Thang Long, and my sense of humor is such that I keep thinking “but it’s girth that really counts!”
Doktor Zymm
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found a funny:
When I check the expiration dates of items at the grocery store that’s purely performative, I have no idea what today’s date is and this information means nothing to me
rockingdog
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I’m no mixologist so forgive the basic nature of this question, but what constitutes a dash?
Horatio Cornblower
My rule of thumb is one shake of the bitters bottle
Sharkbait
I was going to say, “jerk the bitters bottle and let one good squirt out,” but your phrasing is probably better.
Dunstan
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Malcolm McClaren managed all of them?
Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl with the win!!! DING DING DING!!
ballsofsteelandfury
We went from no answer to first post answer.
DO BETTER BSF!!
Mr. Ayo
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I love rugby, even though I have no idea what’s going on.
Horatio Cornblower
It’s not really that complicated…
[explains 20 minutes explaining how a “scrum” works]
…and that’s *one* way the ball can get put into play! Now for the line-out…
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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I made a calzone out of some bread dough, leftover spaghetti meat sauce, and whatever vegetables we had in the crisper.
WineWife asked what I was making, and I said “DFO Sushi”.
She stuck with her turkey bake.
Beerguyrob
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This UFC fight reminds me of middle school dances.
Lot’s of dancing, no action, no scoring, and tons of regret.
Mr. Ayo
Every time I’m watching it my wife comes in during some match that has just degenerated into nothing but wrestle-fucking, looks at the TV and says “more gay porn, I see”, and leaves.
Horatio Cornblower
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Oh I see how it is, the DFO upper class is hogging all the cheap free viagra for themselves!
herodotus450
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So, Mr Affirmatively Correct, you are in San Peeeeeeedro? I could be there in less than two hours, with the pedal to the metal. Don’t put the leftovers away, I will provide that service for free!
Gumbygirl
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Know when I found out America would hit the 500K dead mark in February? Like last June when they revealed the charts showing the US would hit 500K dead in February assuming we did just about absolutely nothing and waited on a fairly normal vaccine rollout that would begin on New Year’s.
I’ve got no more fucks to give for this country. I never want to hear about “American Innovation” or “Americans rise up to the challenge.” Nah – this nation is fucked because we communally choose to allow the absolutely worst people to influence our societal values. I’m watching the world “open back up” (Vegas pool clubs opening in March!) and I’m about as uninterested in participating as ever.
blaxabbath
Hippo thinks his long-held recluse beliefs should elevate me to “Thought Leader” on LinkedIn*
*peoples who actually DO call themselves “Thought Leaders” – on LinkedIn or otherwise, should be skinned alive and fed to the insects
King Hippo
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
I’m with you. I absolutely DO NOT want to go back to an office setting. I hope we’r can extend the work remote thing after the pandemic ends.
The office is technically open now if I really wanted to go in(no), but I don’t see the point of going and not being able to be very social but increasing my risk.
And not going anywhere near the office until I get my vaccine, which at the current rate will be…calculating…calculating….calculating….next year some time for me.
I’m an IT type guy, so even when in the office deal with most of my team (only 1 other of my team even lives in Canada) and all of client via the phone, email and the like. So, to them, there’s no difference if I’m in the office office or my home office.
That’s insane. Why are you not working from home full time? It doesn’t seem like there is any reason for you to go into the office regardless of the pandemic.
Going to try to work remote full time. Mrs GTD works shifts, so i was going into the office when she was off, but there’s really no reason for me to go. Under that schedule I’m in the office 2 days a week max and sometimes one or none as she is on an 8 day schedule. I do like seeing my coworkers from other teams, but no need for that.
I would love to be back in the office and around people. But not until we’re all vaccinated. Hence i just ordered a new office chair.
It’s been really strange working here over the last year. Everyone who is still working on site has become very close. Not family close but more like team mate close. It’s that shared struggle thing.
Hell, we still talk sports and movies and just general bullshittery so it’s not like I ever missed that.
When we do talk to our “working from home” customers they are still pretty amazed that we’ve been doing the same goddamn thing as ever just as if nothing ever happened.
I’m gonna be SO fucking ready for retirement.
Fuck people. People suck.
Had an email today from a long time customer, who asked if we could still archive his work.
“Of course” I said. We’ve been fully open and operating for the past year.
“That’s great! So glad you get to work full time!”
He’s a great guy.
I still wanted to throw up.
I am home until September. I truly hope that a year and a half has proven that I can competently do my job from home.
I am very much gonna give same the old college try. I think hope that I am JUST the right balance of “weirdo” and “reasonably useful at his sub-specialty” that management doesn’t find it worth the effort to fire me.
That Tiger woods Andy Reid banner is still so glorious
It’s just a shame that Son of Spam’s lyrics wouldn’t fit in a banner.
the SonOfSpan one is awesome too, just won’t fit in the banner
It’s SonOfSpam’s world and we just live in it.