Monday Morning Mock Draft: Chapter The Sixth

One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday.  Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and now we all know how that would go), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about.  Good times.

Well, it’s been long enough.  After a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes.  The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real.  So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over.  You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting.  We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership.  That’s no fun.  So these drafts, which I expect to last as long as I remember to do them, (2-3 weeks), will just leap right into it.

Also, for content and alliteration reasons, we’ve moved the draft to Monday mornings, so get ready to kill your productivity right from the start.

Yours in the comments, first come, first served.  For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one.  That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get, which I hope will be a lot.

This week’s category comes to us from the fertile mind of the Right Rev. Mayhem.  Inspired by a discussion of more and more of us either having received or being scheduled to receive or vaccinations, he suggested the topic:  What Mundane Mutant/Super Power Would You Like To Receive From Your Vaccination?

This week’s commissioners embody mundane superpowers perfectly, and they’re here with this week’s rules, such as they are.

Remember, the power you draft must be mundane, you cannot draft a power that will help you take over the world.  We’re talking things like suddenly always being able to pick just the bucket of water to turn into, or always being able to pick out just eagle to carry that bucket of water.

You know, something handy but still kind of dumb.

Since the Good Reverend came up with this topic, he gets the first pick.  After him, the deluge.

Have at it, Rev.

[I went as mundane as possible. Not “useless” and not “low-end DC character” but truly mundane. For examlle- Dr. Mrs. Mayhem used to joke that her superpower was the ability to find cat vomit (or hairballs) just by taking off her socks.

So with the First Pick of 2021 Mundane Vaccine-Induced Super-Power Draft, The Church of the Immaculate Deception selects: “The Ability to Believe It’s Not Butter.”*

*This might have been an old Mitch Hedberg joke. If it is, at least I’m stealing from the top shelf.]

GET YOU VACCINATED, PEOPLE!