Welcome back to the comments of the week. Welcome to spring.  Well fake spring up here, as there’s gonna be moar snow coming. I’m now playing “guess when that last snow fall will be” to try to figure out when to remove the snow tires.  Looks like we were all needing something to watch as I can’t be the only one that’s been enjoying the JV basketball, both the ladies and the men’s tournaments.  Love me some upsets.  I cannot be the only one with a bracket that was blown in the round of 64.  lol.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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LOL

rockingdog

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Watching tennis and the Canadian kid is playing against a guy name Tennys Sandgren.
litre_cola

Better than Tennys Ennyone.
Viva La Tabula Raza

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First day of Spring Break:

WineWife: Did you do ANYTHING today?
Beerguyrob: I changed shorts.
Beerguyrob

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Got my first dose of Pfizer earlier today. Arm is sore, but otherwise okay.
Doktor Zymm

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OK, UConn’s season is over, and I’ve kept drinking, so here’s the Kevin Ollie story.

As best I can recall, this occurred in ’92 or ’93. I was in law school and my younger brother was in Storrs. I was up at Storrs to hang out, and we went to Ted’s a (slightly off) campus institution, and at the time much more of a dive bar than it is now.

At the time my brother was dating an insanely gorgeous girl, the kind of girl who other guys will start fights over in bars. And one of them decided that tonight was his night. That guy said something rude to her, my brother heard it, that guy found himself having a hard time breathing because my brother was trying to squeeze his throat closed with one hand while hitting him with his other.

/Enter Kevin Ollie

Kevin apparently knows the guy that my brother is about to murder. He steps in to try to get my brother to stop murdering his friend. “Hey, doll, doll, it ain’t that, it ain’t that, we’re cool, (this is pretty much word for word what was said; Kevin Ollie clearly did not major in Public Speaking), let him go, you don’t want that.”

/Nothing Kevin Ollie has said so far is innaccurate
/Nonetheless, enter me

“Call him ‘doll’ again and I’ll put you through the wall” I am 6’1? and, at the time, maybe 200. Ollie, no matter what his professional cards might say, was either standing in a hole in the floor, or neither. But this is Ted’s, Ollie played for UConn, and I did not. Several people jump between us, several people pry my brother off the other guy, that guy gets thrown out, nothing more is done.

Ollie actually turns out to be a very nice guy just trying to get an acquaintance out of a pummeling he probably deserved, (and who among us, amirite), and we all shake hands and agree it’s just a misunderstanding.

tl:dr Kevin Ollie is a decent guy with shitty friends and that’s why I almost threw him through a wall but am glad I didn’t.
Horatio Cornblower

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I just had Jollibee for lunch. My arteries blame you fuckers.
Dunstan

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“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
–Mark Twain
BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Golf will literally boil your brain.”
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Falernum sounds like a relative the the perineum.
litre_cola

I used golden falernum. Mrs. Sharkbait insists that it sounds dirty, and I agree.
Sharkbait

“I knew she was a nasty skank when she begged for a golden falernum.”

Checks out.
SonOfSpam

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If your SATs aren’t good enough for Oral Roberts University, you may have to settle for Handjob Roberts Community College.
Dunstan

Damnit, I should have made that Robert Kraft Community College.
Dunstan

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Well, unless Utah State pulls a super Reggie Miller, I ain’t winning Buffett’s billions.
Senor Weaselo

Did you say a million buffets? I need to call my agent. – A. Reid
litre_cola

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Something alum of Arkansas has never heard of, Colgate
Spur

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Purdue currently playing like Purdon’t.
SonOfSpam

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[wakes up with three-foot beard]

[glances at tablet]

Oh, good! I’ve completed the Login In process on DFO!
Fronkenshteen

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Most folks don’t think of Wisconsin as a religious school but Cheez-It Christ is their mascot.
scotchnaut

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“It’s ridiculous-everything is going in.”

-Sillycuse fan
-Porn director, at his first orgy shoot
scotchnaut

Director: “OK, time for the money shot.”

/SDSU player puts it up from deep and sprays it all over the wall

Director: “Goddammit”
Horatio Cornblower

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My niece just found out today she was accepted to the Journalism program at Syracuse, with a $15k annual honors scholarship. She is hella smart!
Gumbygirl

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I see all these chicken sandwich ads, and I am reminded – a piece of fried chicken is ALREADY a sandwich, just as it is
King Hippo

Whatever, Maestro.
Horatio Cornblower

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For every case of Coors Seltzer purchased, 500 gallons of river water are restored. I’m not willing to make that sacrifice. Sorry.
scotchnaut

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Speaking of keeper issues, the Senators have lost all three of their shitty (league worst 3.91 GAA) goalies to injury and don’t have anyone else in the system that has played an NHL game. They did pick up a guy that has bounced around between 6 teams though, so there’s that.
scotchnaut

Sadly, due to COVID there are no Emergency Backup Goaltenders this season.

Maple Leafs fans can breath a sigh of relief.
Dunstan

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Man, I get loaded faster than this site lately.
scotchnaut

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So my view on vaccine priority is:

If you legitimately qualify under the rules of your jurisdiction, go for it. You do not need to voluntarily hold back because you think the rules are bad or other people “deserve” it more. Let the public health officials make that call, even if they might screw it up and set rules that are dumb or inconsistent.

However, lying about your eligibility (and I’m including clever manipulations such as “my friend just ‘hired’ me to babysit their kids, so now I’m a ‘professional caretaker’!”) is not something I’m comfortable with.

So I’m a little weirded out by a mass email I just received from a health care organization noting that eligibility has been expanded to all adults with certain high-risk health conditions, here’s a link where you can register for a vaccination appointment, and oh by the way you don’t need any documentation of your high-risk health condition other than a self-verification form. Again, this was a mass email, not something targeted at me, and I don’t have any of the eligible conditions. It’s true that buried in the email is a link to a government site that lists the criteria, but the link doesn’t explain that, and nowhere does the email even say “IF you are eligible.” I don’t think I’m being conspiratorial in interpreting this as basically saying “just go ahead and do this, there’s no way you can be caught or even turned away.”

I suspect that what’s motivating this is that their doctors’ offices are being bombarded with inquiries from people wanting to get vaccinated, or get a doctor’s note saying that they’re eligible, and this is their way of saying “leave us alone, you don’t need anything from us.”

Maybe I’m being too judgmental, but I find this all really distasteful. Of course, hopefully it’ll all be moot in a month or so when they open it up to everyone and the problem becomes having more vaccine doses than willing recipients.
Dunstan

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> Getting shots in arms is a good thing.

“Not legs, though. That’s bad.” – Plaxico Burress
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Agreed, though I still beat that Harding bitch.
—Nancy Kerrigan
Viva La Tabula Raza

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This whole show just seems like a Saturday night in a bad Wrigleyville bar. It would be way more interesting if they did a Monday morning dive bar/back alley version
Doktor Zymm

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Andy Dalton going to the Chicago Bears is like finding out a quiet, quirky redheaded girl you knew from High School is now doing porn. On one hand, you’re sorry their decisions and actions in life and the consequences have led them down that path. On the other hand, you’re sick and twisted enough to want to check it out.
Redshirt

[blocks Redshirt on all social media platforms]

-Quiet, quirky redheaded girl from Redshirt’s senior high school class that is pursuing a degree in Engineering
scotchnaut

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Somebody on Twitter just congratulated Rush Limbaugh on one month of sobriety, and I am absolutely furious…

that I didn’t think to do that.
Horatio Cornblower

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Lie I tell myself #407:
“I will bake this entire frozen pizza, but save half for tomorrow”
Doktor Zymm

Often told in conjunction with #222:
“I will open this bottle of wine, but save half for tomorrow”
Doktor Zymm

Both of these sound like Lie #420 – this edible won’t fuck me up.
Beerguyrob

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“Mount St. Mary”

Something the Holy Spirit did before Joseph
SonOfSpam

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If you’re ordering a sub sandwich for lunch, you might as well order a second for tomorrow since you’re paying the delivery fee anyway. That’s just good economic sense.

Yes, “for tomorrow.” Probably.
Dunstan

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I’ve been on a “quick catch up” work call for 37 minutes.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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No lies detected

Don T

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The “Wisconsin Back Door Maneuver” usually can’t be accomplished until you’ve been dating for awhile.
scotchnaut

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Krautwig will end up being a Vermont State Trooper like Farva. Book it.
litre_cola

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Still somehow #1 in a pool* with other friends. No idea how I’m doing this well

*Its 8 people, but still
Sharkbait

Other friends?? WHORE!
King Hippo

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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