Your Tuesday Temptation Island Talk Ep 5 Recap and Open Thread

Welcome back to the Tuesday Temptation Island Talk Open Thread! Let’s get right to it!

***

What Happened?

The Boys got their bonfire. Eliminations. Threesome. Girls got a new bonfire.

Yes, you read that correctly. There was a threesome. Surprise surprise, it involved Kendal and Alexcys.

Let’s get to it.

***

Was there anything juicy or were there funny moments?

Let’s take them chronologically:

  • The title of the episode is “Three’s Company” and I highly doubt that Jack Tripper is stepping through that door.
  • We start off with the “Previously on” and it is just so much bullshit…
  • It’s the Boys’ turn to have their bonfires and Corey starts by seeing Erin talk to Shaquille and him saying that he’s better than her boyfriend.
  • Surprisingly, Corey doesn’t disagree. He thinks he needs to open up and I’m not sure if he’s talking about Erin pegging him but I’m pretty sure Shaquille would let her do that to him. Your move, Corey!
  • Kendal and Erica are so done, it’s not even funny. Kendal is already moving on to figuring out who works better for him.
  • Tom knows what “Dirty Mack” is and I feel ok knowing that what I think is a Dirty Mac is different from what Tom thinks is a Dirty Mack.
  • On the ride back to the villa, Julian tells Tom that Chelsea is a hypocrite and I’m starting to like Julian.
  • “You are going to be the best momma!” That is a really weird thing to say to Erica after she saw Kendal banging Alexcys. Apparently, watching your partner cheat on you makes you strong? If that was the case, she should take on Magnus Von Magnusson because every partner she has ever had has cheated on her.
  • Julian is crying in his bed because Kristen is still having doubts while Kendal is waking up with naked Alexcys next to him.
  • “I’ve never opened up this early”. Sure, Alexcys, whatever you say. Oh, you meant the butthole? I still don’t believe you.
  • Kendal is the only one that gets a hot tub in his room because he’s the only one “getting after it”.
  • Elimination Time!! The Boys can eliminate as many as they want. Kendal is ready to fire somebody!
  • The boys choose the model chick and two brunettes that I haven’t really mentioned before, so it makes sense.
  • The girls choose the troublemakers: Evan, Tommy, Trent, and Rocky.
  • This is the BEST part of the show because the Single Boys give the coupled girls shit! This is GREAT!
  • No one likes Kristen. I’m loving this.
  • At the Boys’ Villa, it’s Taco Night and Kendal knows what that means…
  • Meanwhile, the Coupled Girls and the Single Boys are having a Glow In The Dark party.
  • Erin pushes everyone away that gets close to her. She says this as she’s talking to Shaquille and pushing him away.
  • One of the girls dares Nickole and Alexcys to skinny dip and Julian can’t believe it.
  • Apparently, Nickole is bisexual and guess who is going to be the third person in the threesome tonight?
This really should be a gif…
  • Alexcys says the threesome was something out of her comfort zone and something new and I don’t believe her for a second.
  • Nickole, on the other hand, is a very polite threesome participant as she thanks them for the good time when she leaves the bed.
  • Alex from Sacramento has only had gummy bears and scotch while he’s been on the island and I’m telling you that he would fit in perfectly at DFO!
  • Kristen has a Deep Dark Secret that she can’t reveal and she’s jealous that Erica can open up and talk about her problems so easily.
  • Mark L comes in and tells the girls there’s a bonfire tonight.
  • “I don’t think I’m going to see anything worse than the last bonfire”. Oh, Erica. Just you wait.
  • Chelsea goes first and sees Julian calling her a hypocrite. Then Tom picks up Sofia. Mark L tells her that her effort to control things is why she’s in pain and that’s TRUTH.
  • Erin sees the girls talking bad about Erin. They think Erin wants to break up with Corey. Erin disagrees.
  • Erica sees the threesome. There is nothing really to say here.
  • Kristen sees Julian crying and that makes her sad.
  • Mark finally asks, “What happened?” and it turns out her brother overdosed and died.
  • A bit of a downer if you ask me, but that’s where the episode ends.

***

Which couples are breaking up?

Couple #1

Chelsea and Thomas from West Hollywood, CA

I bash Chelsea a lot and for good reason, but then you get to the point where you start wondering if Tom is an idiot for being with her despite knowing all her faults. Is he that stupid?

Couple #2

Erica and Kendal from Culver City, CA

Erica is beyond help if she sticks with Kendal after this. Sadly, she’s stuck with him before, so…

Couple #3

Erin and Corey from San Diego, CA

See? I’m not the complete asshole everyone thinks I am! I still see hope for these two! Of course, it helps that she’s the only sane one in the female group.

Couple #4

Kristen and Julian from Sewell, NJ

Julian crying over Kristen was the saddest thing I’ve seen in a long time because she is SO NOT WORTH IT. Go find yourself a good lady, young man!

***

Are there any Singles that stood out/you’d like to bang?

Amanda looks good without makeup and that’s the sign of a keeper right there.

I think the only other Single I think is tolerable is Alex from Sacramento. He’s a goofy bastard and we’re all better off for having him on the show.

***

I’ll be writing recaps of every episode and publishing on the Tuesday the next episode airs.

Temptation Island airs every Tuesday night on USA Network at 10 PM Eastern, 9 PM Central. You can also catch up on prior episodes (if you sign in with a cable or satellite account) and see behind the scene clips on the USA Network website: https://www.usanetwork.com/temptationisland

Let your excitement bubble over in the comments. If we all behave ourselves, maybe we can live-blog this baby!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Gumbygirl

I’m thinking the 2019 Christmas party at General Mills was lit.

Doktor Zymm

Mills never should have been promoted past Colonel

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The shrimp thing is what twitter is for.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok stout and Samoas time

Gumbygirl

I got two boxes of GS cookies from my sister in law for babysitting her pets and dad for a few days. One Tagalong, and a THIN MINT! Let the hating begin!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You chose…. poorly

Gumbygirl

They are delicious when they’re frozen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Be sure to check them for shrimp tails.

Don T

Austin askin’ foar arsonin’

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Diggin the Ben Hur wheels on that Caddy.

Don T

It’s made from victims’ walkers.

Gumbygirl

It does have that Deathrace vibe, doesn’t it?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Article askin’ for outrage clicks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was it yeah right or Litre who told me to pair the truffle chips with red wine? Because they’re good with and without.

Sharkbait

Wine suggestion? Guessing Litre.

Doktor Zymm

I had them with champagne on NYE, and that was enjoyable

yeah right

It was both. I had a really nice pinot noir and it worked really well with those truffle chips.

SonOfSpam

Aww, RIP George Segal. 87 is a good run.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My brother-in-law and his wife are pretty conservative Christians – like the legitimate kind of genuinely decent people that the Flanders family is modeled after. My wife recommended the show Warrior to them.

If you have seen the show, you will understand just how insane this was for me to witness. There may be shows with more gratuitous violence and sex out there, but they aren’t among the shows we watch.

litre_cola

Went down a rabbit hole on reddit concerning Jolt Cola. Loved that stuff as a kid when I could get my hands on it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS THE BLOOD OF HERETICS! OH YEAH!
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SonOfSpam

(right-clicks, chooses “Save Image As…”)

Doktor Zymm

Whoa, I had totally forgotten about that stuff

Dunstan

The snack bar in my dorm couldn’t keep enough of it in stock to satisfy the demand. I never got into it.

It’s sort of quaint that caffeine was the “study aid” of choice then. I assume it’s all drugs now…

litre_cola

LOve the recap since I don’t get E! Canada channel. Scotchy probably does with his insane cable package.

Sharkbait

Its worth it

Warthog

Can confirm.

Last edited 3 years ago by Warthog
Horatio Cornblower

My daughter came home for the weekend and put it on and five minutes later they’re talking about anal sex and the next morning I yelled at Trevor Risk on Twitter.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was introduced to that show via the British Bake-Off!

Doktor Zymm

Worth the $5/month or whatever it is

SonOfSpam
Dunstan

I guess the producers don’t really care, since I don’t really watch Jeopardy! much these days anyway, but it really fucking bothers me that Dr. Oz is hosting. I don’t care if he was friends with Trebek, a show that celebrates knowledge should not have a snake oil huckster hosting.

SonOfSpam

Based on the very unscientific method of looking at Twitter posts, most Jeopardy fans (including James Holzhauer and me, we’re basically the same) hate that he’s hosting. Someone asked James yesterday if they might ask him to guest host, and he said “No, I believe in science.”

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t give this one enough pluses.

scotchnaut

All my geographer friends are asking me about an “Alluring Isthmus” update. Stupid nerds…smgdh

herodotus450

Is that two techtonic plates overlapping each other in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

TheRevanchist

Rockin Dog needs to get in this conversation because everyone knows that sedimentary rocks!

I’m kidding. Just a small joke to get my rocks off. I’m sure he’s just a stones throw away from here.

He appears to be a big softy, but at his core, he’s made of iron.

Okay, really, enough of this crusty shit.

herodotus450

Though, these are more geology jokes than geography.

TheRevanchist

Then that just begs the question: What does a geographer do?

herodotus450

I think they spend most of their time wrangling something called GIS,

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now I want scotch and gummi bears.

SonOfSpam

Even more than Skittlebrau?

Sharkbait

I like where your head is at

litre_cola

The problem with the brand of edibles I get is that the gummies taste too good. You have 1 and get really high but the taste of em makes you want to et the whole bag.

/do not eat the whole bag

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s my take on edibles. They really aren’t the kind of thing that needs to taste good. They just need to not taste terrible, and anything beyond that is kind of dangerous.

Gumbygirl

My rule is they can’t taste too weedy, or I will hurl.

TheRevanchist

This is some shit that even Bizarro can’t figure out.

https://twitter.com/ccadelago/status/1374492329097060359?s=20

LemonJello

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Last edited 3 years ago by LemonJello
TheRevanchist

He’s very positive he’s going to bang someone out of this situation.

Senor Weaselo

Are we referring to this dirty mack? (When in doubt, Urban Dictionary.)
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dirty%20Mack

LemonJello

Andy Reid’s definition of a “dirty mack” is when his 3rd and 4th Big Macs slip through his greasy fingers onto his garage floor.

Sharkbait

Get her to do a guest post