The DFO Euro 2020 (in 2021!) Preview: North Macedonia

We’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have:

  • Copa América
  • Euro 2020
  • Concacaf Gold Cup
  • Tokyo Olympic Games

And it all starts on June 11, 2021 with the European Soccer (Football) championships aka Euro 2020!

Yes, it is 2021 but they decided to keep the name, ok?

From now until the tourney starts, we’ll be giving you previews for every country in Euro 2020, DFO-style, of course. We will also provide previews of all the Copa América countries as the Copa América starts on June 13, 2021 right after Euro 2020 starts.

Euro 2020 will be broadcast in English on ESPN in the United States and on TSN in Canada. Univisión has the Spanish language rights in the US and TVA has the French language rights in Canada. Here is a handy calendar for you to use to schedule your vacation days:

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Today’s team is:

North Macedonia

Country Fun Facts

North Macedonia flag
Map of North Macedonia and the surrounding region

North Macedonia is both the youngest country in Euro 2020 and the oldest. How is that, you may ask? Well, take a look at the map below

Map of Ancient Macedonia overlaid on top of existing countries

The ancient kingdom of Macedonia dates back to Roman times. It encompassed territory that is now part of Greece, Bulgaria, Albania, Kosovo, Serbia, and North Macedonia.

HOWEVAH, the country of North Macedonia was only created when Yugoslavia broke up in 1991. From its creation, there was a controversy as the Greeks did not want the new country to take a look at the map above and start having irredentist thoughts (There is your vocab word for the day! Although I have a feeling one particular Commentist did not need to click on that link…)

Due to this dispute, the initial name of the country was “The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia”. It was changed officially in 2019 to its current name of North Macedonia.

The country’s capital is Skopje, which is located in the North of North Macedonia.

Team Schedule

North Macedonia is in Group C with Austria, Ukraine, and the Netherlands. Here is the Group Stage schedule, all times Pacific:

Sunday, June 13, 2021 9 AM – Austria v North Macedonia at Arena Naţională – Bucharest

Thursday, June 17, 2021 6 AM – Ukraine v North Macedonia at Arena Naţională – Bucharest

Monday, June 21, 2021 9 AM – North Macedonia v Netherlands at Johan Cruijff Arena – Amsterdam

Team Preview / Top Players

While they have no players you’ve ever heard of, they did beat Georgia in Georgia to get the last qualifying spot for Euro 2020. They faced Austria in the Qualification Group, losing both times. Against the weaker teams, they held their own and generally did not get blown out. The hero that scored the winning goal against Georgia is named Goran Pandev.

Best result when you Google Image Search “Hot [Country] girls”

Balls, Have you ever been to this country?

No, but I heard in the DFO backroom that Doktor Zymm had scheduled a flight to Skopje for this summer. Unfortunately, as of press time, it seems her flight got canceled. I suppose the target moved to another country.

Would I go there? I dunno. There were way too many “russian brides” results when I Google Image Searched. As a single male, I’d be concerned that I would be constantly harrased by sleazy dudes in track suits asking me if I wanted a “friend” or “date” for the evening…

Why you should root for this country

  • You like the plucky underdog.
  • You got yourself a North Macedonian mail-order bride.
  • Sometimes you just want to watch the world burn.

Why you should NOT root for this country

  • You’re Greek.
  • You’re into Greek.
  • You prefer to root for a team that has a chance of winning at least one game.

Pronóstico

Not good. They struggled against Austria in the group stage and will face the Netherlands in Amsterdam. I don’t see a win in either of those two games. The match against Ukraine holds great promise if Putin decides to use Euro 2020 as a distraction and invades Ukraine. I mean, that’s an easy forfeit if the opponent refuses to take the pitch because they’re worried about their loved ones being alive, right?

I think they lose all three but could sneak a point in a tie with either Ukraine or Austria. Eliminated in the Group Stage, but still happy to be there. If any one player scores a goal, he will be celebrated across the country and won’t have to buy a drink or a Russian bride for the rest of his days!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Wakezilla

Good preview!

I didn’t realize that we’re doing these already?

Doktor Zymm

Still going to Macedonia over the 4th of July, but flight schedules got switched around on both sides, so now I’ll arrive on Friday night, look at stuff all Saturday, leave Sunday morning, have a ~30 hr stopover in Istanbul (which should be fun if they’ve gotten their Covid situation back down, they’re in lockdown right now), then get back Monday night. Not ideal, but not awful, and at least I won’t be spending any time working remote in the middle of the night

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I rate North Macedonia’s chances about as high as those of the baby possum I just found in my yard. I mean it’d be nice if the cat doesn’t casually murder him but I’ll try my hardest not to be sad when it happens, because that’s the way nature works.

Gumbygirl

Red in tooth and claw, that Nature!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know that very well; I just wish nature wouldn’t keep throwing it in my face.

Horatio Cornblower

There’s undoubtedly a possum rescue organization in your area. Put the little shit in a box and give them a call.

SonOfSpam

North Macedonia’s sun flag >>>>>>> Japan’s lazy-ass sun flag

King Hippo

North Norh Macedonia is good juju for the European Euros. They will get that point, consarnit!

Horatio Cornblower

I really hope the team is the North Macedonia Fuck You Alexander Is Ours.

Doktor Zymm

I would buy that jersey, then accidentally wear it in the wrong neighborhood in Queens and get my ass kicked