Welcome back to another exclusive sneak preview of the Hue Jackson School of Scam Artistry!
School is almost out, summer is almost here… for some people, the warm weather means focusing on your beach bod, and for others, it means the siren song of delicious treats. I’ll be the first to admit that a little ice cream cone or a french fry sure hits the spot on a beautiful summer day… but something that football coaches struggle with, like fast food restaurants, is maintaining order and discipline for the people they’re responsible for. Can’t have players running amok causing mayhem out in the open! (Well, unless you’re Phil Fulmer). Same with the people responsible for running some of your most successful marketing campaigns. If you can’t keep people in line, they’re going to burn you. That, folks, is the scammer’s time to shine. Let’s listen in to learn a little more about this week’s Hall of Fame Scammer…
JEROME JACOBSON: THE REAL-LIFE HAMBURGLAR
BORN: 1943
There’s hardly a person alive on this earth who’s never heard of McDonald’s, even if they choose not to eat there. For millions of kids across the planet, the Golden Arches symbolize the ultimate prize in special treats; with billions of dollars poured into marketing the ubiquitous Happy Meal over the decades, it’s no wonder that their burgers and fries have such staying power, even as fast food preferences rapidly evolve and shift in recent years. With McDonald’s being so adept at marketing, it’s no wonder that their Monopoly competition, which started in 1987, continues to be one of the biggest draws of any fast food promotion, anywhere, in any restaurant. While Monopoly has not run since 2015 in the United States, it continues to live on in many other countries, most notably in Canada, the UK, Australia, New Zealand, and many prominent Western European countries.
What is important to note about McDonald’s Monopoly, however, is that in most countries, companies are actually not permitted to run their own contests in order to maintain a greater degree of impartiality and fraud prevention. McDonald’s actually had a contractual agreement with Simon Marketing,Inc., a promotion company, to handle running the Monopoly game in North America during the early years of the promotion. This important detail is where our story begins today.
In 1989, Jerome Jacobson was the chief security officer at Simon Marketing. He was the guy responsible for delivering the winning game tokens to various McDonald’s locations across the United States, which involved a lot of domestic flights. Early on in the contest’s inception, many McDonald’s executives insisted that randomized draws for major prizes often get re-run so that winning game pieces would end up in American locations rather than Canadian ones – and for whatever reason, this apparently rankled Jacobson quite a bit (stranger still, since he does not display any apparent connections to Canada whatsoever). As such, he took it upon himself to personally fix this issue – but instead of rearranging winning game pieces, he instead chose to steal them and sell them himself. Thanks to a roll of anti-tamper seals mistakenly sent to him by a supplier, Jacobson was able to carefully remove the grand prizes and switch them out. Before each flight, he’d sneak into an airport bathroom with the briefcase, out of sight of his handler (a McDonald’s corporate accountant), and replace the winning pieces with others, sight unseen.
Now possessing the winning pieces, he sold them – at great profit – to others. Between 1995 and 2000, he assembled a vast network of co-conspirators, who were able to track down willing buyers for him. At first, it was mostly just Jerry’s immediate family and friends… but by the middle of the decade, he’d managed to get Gennaro “Jerry” Colombo, of the famed Colombo crime family, to purchase the winning token that got him a Dodge Viper (although he actually took a cash prize instead because he was too fat to fit in the car). Colombo even appeared in a commercial celebrating the win.
With Colombo’s help, Jacobson was able to vastly expand his network of buyers across the country; in total, his crime ring scammed McDonald’s out of over $24 million in cash and prizes. Things were looking incredible – until, one day, they weren’t.
In 2001, the FBI office in Jacksonville, Florida got a call from a mysterious informant; someone named “Uncle Jerry” had been rigging the McDonald’s Monopoly games… for years. As it turns out, it was almost certainly Jerry Colombo’s mother ratting out the ring of scammers… sadly, her son had died in a car crash three years prior, and her daughter-in-law Robin had just been sent to prison for grand theft auto. By tipping off the feds, she hoped to keep custody of her grandson, Francesco – born to Jerry and Robin. (Robin’s father and brother had also managed to “win” McDonald’s grand prizes of $1 million in cash, which was unquestionably due to their family connections.)
McDonald’s was beyond pissed when the FBI revealed the game was compromised – but they did run their promotion one more time in 2001 to help try and track down the culprits. When investigators realized that a disproportionate number of winners over the decade had come from Georgia (where Jacobson lived) and from the Jacksonville area (where he had worked as a cop prior to joining Simon Marketing), they managed to triangulate the home addresses of a number of winners to within a few miles of Jacobson’s lake house in Duval County, Florida. On August 22nd, Jacobson and eight others were arrested, and Jacobson was charged with three counts of conspiracy to commit mail fraud. In all, 53 people were indicted in the scam – and 48 of those charged pled guilty.
Jerry Jacobson got 37 months in prison for his crimes, and was ordered to pay $12.5 million in restitution; he was released on October 21st, 2005. He now lives outside of Atlanta with his seventh wife – yes, you heard me correctly – and despite being in poor health, is still kicking at age 77.
If you want to learn more about the scam, definitely check out the miniseries McMillions, produced by HBO. (Mahhky-Mahk is an executive producer on the series, so you already know it’s gonna be entertaining.)
***
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Apparently not a single one of the million-dollar prize winners from 1995-2000 won the contest cleanly. I can say the exact same about my tenure in the NFL! Remember – it’s not about how others lost – it’s all about the fact that you won. Take each and every success, and savor them for all they’re worth – because the next one may not come along for a while. But that’s ok – patience is a virtue. Until next time – I’m Hue Jackson.
Information from this article taken from here, here, here, here, here, and here. Banner image by The Maestro.
Raise your hand if you’re surprised Cole Beasley is not getting the vaccine
Bachmann Turner Overcommitted on that goal
Sounds like they weren’t taking care of business.
Winnipeg’s own BTO….
Has anyone made the point that Austria is playing in their SS kit today? Because Austria is playing in their SS kit today.
I did nazi that coming.
Well their first kit is white, second is red it makes sense this is their third reichkit.
Still, its a surprising choice. Almost a final solution, as it were…
I regret to inform you that Frank Bonner, aka WKRP’s Herb Tarlek, has died.
Boooooooooooooooo
Awww. My dad used to wear really gaudy suits, like Herb. He was incredibly conservative when I was little, dark suit, white shirt, skinny tie, but something weird happened around 1970 or so. We actually named his clothes- the Grasshopper and Easter Bunny suits were favorites!
In the 80s I knew a guy who sold advertising for a local radio station. He was a little smarmy like Herb, and liked to call people “big guy.” I always wondered if he was consciously or unconsciously imitating Herb, or if it’s just a common archetype in that world. (Probably wasn’t conscious imitation, as the show depicts Herb as a bit of a buffoon and sometimes a jerk.)
I bet he was imitating Herb
And thought he was cool because he was imitating him.
TRUE HIPPO FACT – I have lengthy, involved, inexplicable (I can never recall details) WKRP-related dreams. All. The. Time.
Dreaming about how it’s raining Turkeys?
Like sacks of wet cement!
Oh, the humanity!
Interesting, I don’t remember Bailey’s shoulders being that impressive…
The show was way before my time, but I remember watching it in syndication with my dad and thinking it was pretty funny.
RIP
Awright. Last shot before work:
Dutch by 2 or more (+170) / over 3.5 (+210) / Baumgartner to score anytime (+400)
A buck gets me $28
Have a good night, gentlemen. I’ll be Ubering in D.C.
Be safe!
Fair to say everyone except MAGAts are rooting for the Danes to destroy Russia?
“I can’t subscribe to this point of view. Such an ignorant thing to do, if the Russians love their children, too.” — Sting
That’s the song where he rhymed “America” and “hysteria”
“That’s nothing. I once rhymed ‘Texas’ with ‘facts is.'” — Steve Miller
Pretty impressive, regardless of outcome, that the Danish goalie also voices Triumph The Insult Comic Dog.
Hot take: I never found Triumph funny. At all.
That is a hot take…FOR ME TO POOP ON.
Poop.
https://youtu.be/_Kk3Orks0d4
Danes leading shots on net 17-5???
The first half was heavier on the Danish than Andy Reid.
“HEY! THAT’S…that’s fair.”
-A. Reid, reaching for another handful of pastries
I wonder if the Brussel kids soccer league are known as the sprouts.
Just took an early day and tomorrow off. In my daily try to get all 3 right (1 day only so far) Had UKRAINE IS NOT WEAK, The Moules et Frites and have Oranje next. Praise be to Gamblor
Another beautiful Phlegmish goal.
Damn, he hit that shot so hard it probably has a bruges on it.
(your move Horatio)
I was rooting for Denmark, so I think that guy’s antwerp.
(volleys ball back to SoS)
We’re not really rooting for Denmark in aarhus.
(tosses beanbag at Horatio’s cornhole)
What a walloon!
(lobs lawn jart through SoS’s garage window)
What a fucking goal.
He might have a future in football yet!
-Houston’s manager, when told of her “500” plans
The Broom pulls Fronk tantalizingly close!
Jethro Tull going on tour soon?
Thicc As A Brick Tour 2021
Damn, that is a good one.
Welp. There’s the over
Fronk may do this yet!
‘What’s the bet’
‘It’s a thing where you put money on the potential outcome of a game, and if you hit you win more money. But that’s not important right now’
I thought that was a clear foul and penalty kick until that last replay angle.
Greg Louganis applauds that dive.
THIS THORGAN HAZARD, I CALL KING LEOPOLD BECAUSE HE LET THE BLACK MAN DO ALL THE WORK AND THEN TOOK ALL THE GLORY AT THE END
Don’t forget, the black guy wasn’t allowed to use his hands.
There’s 2 Fronk
He needs a specific guy to score for Belgium, right? Was that who got the goal?
Yes, and no. But if Tielemans nets one he hits the over and the to score
Damn, that was some fancy passing. No waffling there by the Belgians.
/is hauled offstage and shot
Imagine the parlay you could have gotten on DEN to lose to Finland, beat Belgium, and have a heart attack on the pitch!
?mw=600
(Worth repeating for this parlay)
((Also if it’s not too late, I will draft The Blair Witch Project)
I flew a Danish flag outside our house for their first game. Their star player had a heart attack and, while the flag was still up, our cat got hit by a car.
You can safely assume that I am not flying the Danish flag today.
The last time Horatio flew the Danish flag? Two successive regicides in Elsinore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTOC_q0NLTk
[hangs Tampa Bay Buccaneers flag outside annoying neighbor’s house]
/sorry about your cat
if it makes Fronk feel any better, I just put 30 Ameri-quid on Energetik-BGU Minsk to finish with 3+ soccer points.
“May the corruption run parallel with your wager”
-Russian proverb
Too busy to duck out of work. I should go back to working the street corner, at least I could make my own hours. And Carlos was a gentle lover when he wanted to be.
Only Fans. Street corner work, but from home!
not sure OnlyFans is going to work on dialup
I haven’t seen the Danes this motivated since Lindisfarne
Game Two Parlay and Toilet Flusherie:
Belgium (+100) / Over 2.5 (+156) / Tielemans to score (+800)
A buck gets me $22.
Lets go!
I don’t like the over. If Belgium gets up 2-0 I think they park the bus rather than run it up.
But I am frequently wrong, so that’s a good sign for you.
Welp, they need 2+ fo sho now
“I am ALWAYS wrong”
Went ahead and fixed that.
FLUSH!!!
How fucking fantastic is that? I am a walking dark comedy.
Was that Tielemans to score, or Tielemans to score first?
To score anytime. Not dead quite yet…
?mw=600
I would like to thank Levy and Spurs for making me feel (slightly) better about the Moshiri and Everton manager search shitshow.
Leave it to Spurs to be Spursy even in the off season.
I have a feeling whoever they appoint will be a placeholder until Mauricio Pochettino leaves PSG, if the reunion rumors are true
https://twitter.com/TalkingTHFC/status/1405536971745763331
The cat with the broken ribs and torn trachea is up and around, (despite having been given painkillers that should put him to sleep), and all up in my shit because I won’t let him outside.
Assholes. Cats are assholes.
I can’t believe he even waited 24 hours for this. That is the essence of cat. Absolute in their stubbornness and disdain for human decisionmaking.
He’d been home for about 14 hours before he started this shit. Slept like he was dead last night. He’s been at this since 6 am. He keeps jumping on things and I cringe every time he does.
I have had that experience with Kruger coming off injury (he’s been bitten by snakes at least twice, per the vet), or even when we moved and I wanted to make sure he didn’t try to go back to the old house.
And he pissed on stuff when the “annoying tear around the house” pressure didn’t work.
And I’d still take a bullet for him, because cat people are fucking insane.
Our outdoor cat, Nutmeg, is like that. She had to have her tail amputated after something bit down hard enough on it to break the top two vertebrae. She stayed in the house for the winter then, when it warmed up and we still wouldn’t let her out, she went down to the basement and pissed on every rug and in every corner until we caved.
Have I since built her a three level, waterproof and winterized fort? Yes. Has she ever displayed an ounce of gratitude? No.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Cats have that combination of ascribing god-like powers to their human family (for instance, Kruger 100% thinks it’s my fault when it rains), but all like fuck you anyway.
True. But such cute lil adorable assholes. That makes up for a lot…
Glad that your asshole is up & about!
Yesterday, I parlayed Wales on the money line / over 2.5 / and Bale to score.
Game ends 2-0 with Bale having blasted a penalty 20 (goddamn) feet over the net.
Next game, I threw a buck on Chiellini (+3100) to score first. He does. VAR. Handball. Am fucked.
Already rat-holed today’s 3-game parlay up my ass taking the feckless Macedonians.
“Danish and Belgian lineups in two minutes!”
-fat guy in line at cruise ship breakfast buffet
It’s times like this I’m glad I don’t live in a state with legalized sports betting. That hasn’t stopped me from venmo-ing my BIL in New Hampshire, but the extra step of texting the bet when he’s working is a good safeguard against hemorrhaging money
I just do ridiculously unlikely parlays for a dollar. Dumb fun for a big dope.
Those are tons of fun
Stares at $1 PGA DFS entry
“Dumb Fun for a Big Dope” is also the working title of Gronk’s (ghostwritten) autobiography.
My state hasn’t legalized it, but ain’t stopped me none!
If the Ukes make the knockout stage, and the Rooskies don’t…I wonder if Putin nukes them.
“if”, “when”, whatever comrade.
No need to nuke, I think they still have the tank brigades close to the border. They would roll right over them.
Dammit, man. UKRAINE IS NOT WEAK!
https://imgur.com/nV7iyAI
I’m gonna miss the North Macedonian jerseys. Those are awesome.
1/5 on penalties for the tournament now
Nailed It!
— UKR
Ball don’t lie.
Shocked that’s a pen
That’s what Stormy said…
I love me some good VARing.
The HOB doc was OK. IT definitely was an episode or two too long. The re-enactments were a bit over the top, but overall was entertaining
The HBO doc was much better.
Oh ffs. Need more coffee
Please refer to my “bit/but” typo below. You’re not the only one.
Cleveland Browns mention! Drink!
This was a fascinating chapter in this series. I always thought that game was crooked!
If you can, find and watch the HBO mini-series. Even more detail, and some of the people involved, (Robin especially), will blow your mind.
The North Macedonians are getting a little but frisky.
Butt frisky? THAT’S THE BALLS SIGNAL!
Nailed It!
That’s what they get for not letting that shaved ape with bald spot (Pandev? Panda??) not take the penno.
Macedonia #8 being all greedy, wanted to pad his assist total smh
I would love a version of the Fast and the Furious which had realistic physics, it would only be about 20 minutes long and the entire cast would be killed off.
Sounds like the epitome of a “win-win” situation to me.
yeah, I’d actually WATCH that. Maybe that’s the new reality genre to take off – point and laugh as stupid ppl die!
Darwin award winner re-enactments using B-list and below “stars”, first shows could get rid of the Kardashians permanently.
I think Paul Walker already made that movie.
slow. CLAP!
http://i.imgur.com/nV7iyAI.gif
They sure seem game to us! – Macedonia
I see my banner comment involving Nazi aggression in WWII has been undone by a comments involving Russians.
How fitting.
I am calling this game the condiment game, my caffeine deprived mind was actually thinking in terms of mustard vs. catsup. Mustard almost scored on that play was what I was thinking at one point.
How many of the Ukranians are actually secret Russians?
ALL!! They’re ALL Russians!! Except for any Jews obvs. – Vladimir P., Moscow
So Ukraine and Russia do not play against each other in this round? I was wanting to see if Ukraine would ‘play’ the Crimean defense.
I think, seriously, they made a special allotment where they could NOT be drawn into the same Group.
And the gays, no Russians are gay. – Vladimir P., Moscow
Great addition to the series, I don’t remember ever hearing about this, but then I don’t eat at McDonalds if I can help it.
FANTASTIC mini-series, that. I wondered (and still do) how long that scam could have lingered if “Uncle Jerry” only stole, say 25%, of the “big winner” pieces. 100% is always gonna get you caught, right?
Funny how ‘greed’ is what topples many scams.
The miniseries really expands on what a loathsome piece of shit Uncle Jerry really was. Not surprising that he couldn’t hold back.
The stars of that show were Jerry’s wife and the smart ass FBI agent who plays against type. Hard to believe he’s actually an agent.
yeah, that smartass FBI agent was fucking hilarious. He’d have bodies in his crawl space if his energies weren’t directed towards law enforcement.
Indeed! He MADE that documentary. Laughing, joking, making fun of the perps… Definitely not the image I get when I think of “FBI agent”.