Juneteenth Euros Jubilee!

That’s right, White Devils!  You done been CANCELLED.  Lord knows, your weirdo wingnut uncle needed sommet else to bitch about next Thanksgiving.

Anyway, nothing celebrates black power like the European Euros!  A good 2/3 (which is MOAR than 3/5 ,, ppl forget that) of the squadrons think it’s bad to be raycess!!

Hungary v. France – in Budapest (9:00, ESPN)

Remember that part about thinking racism is bad?  Let’s just say the Hungarians – like most of Central/Eastern Europe – ain’t get the memo.  Fortunately, just as racist, fascist, and backwards as they are – perhaps even shitter at the footy.  Frogs are gonna pound them like a veal.  Even if they play their walk-ons white guys.

Portugal v. Germany – in Munchen (Noon, ESPN)

Good thing they have home pitch advantage.  If Round 1 is any indicator, they gonna need it.  Realistically, the Krauts will be playing for a point here, with Hungary up next.  Should the Fightin’ Ronaldos win, what a treat that dead rubber match against France will be.  Stupid format.

Spain v. Poland – in Sevilla (3:00, ABC)

Looky-loo, a Lesser Footy match with no Murrikans involved on teh broadcast teevee!  No doubt, Poland is competitive with Hung Gary on the Das Raycess! table, but of late – they’ve been MOAR about terrifying violence against homosexuals.  The world is a shitty, shitty place.  Don’t you forget it, or kid yourselves into thinking it’s just US of A.

As for the banner pic?  That relates to the unholy abomination that is the Everton Board actually, seriously considering Fat Kopite Cunt Rafa Benitez for its managerial opening.  Seriously, the Bitter Blue 3/4 of Merseyside is absolutely awash in fury.  Negative manager who plays shit football?  Check.  History of mocking/belittling Everton Football Club?  Check.  Fucked off to China, and sucked ass there?  Oh, that’s a check.  Really, it’s like a game of Moron Chicken between Everton/Moshiri and Spurs/Levy, seeing who can wade deepest in the cesspool of their own stupidity.

At least no FINAL decision has been made, at least as of Hippo’ Friday night bedtime.  Which means that I at least didn’t get the Unhappiest of Birthdays for me 48th.

Also, I make no reporting of Los Sudamericano Euros, as the level of play has been shockingly bad.  The combination of rampant #NuAIDS and the complete lack of fans has been TOO MUCH, MAN!

5 3 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
167 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

[…] at the morning thread, I see everyone’s of good spirit. There’s not much really that needs to be said. […]

WCS

MEGABOWL is MEGATATSTIC

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m back! And it looks like for one bright shining moment I was leading the Euro pool.

Gumbygirl

I’m dropping like I’m wearing cement shoes.

Game Time Decision

Final score: VAR 1, Poland 1, post 1

Fronkenshteen

Make the goddamn penalty you thtupid athhole.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s brilliant!

– Jimmy Jr.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— ESP

Game Time Decision

Number 15 from Poland has the most guilty “it’s wasn’t me” face evar

ballsofsteelandfury

– Shaggy

Mr. Ayo

I haven’t seen that much Pole on Pole action since *microphone cuts out*

Mr. Ayo

I was going to say the Great Northern War!

Mr. Ayo

VAR SCORES!

ballsofsteelandfury

This may be the first time I’ve ever seen VAR give a goal that wasn’t originally ruled a goal.

Mr. Ayo

Certainly the first time I’ve seen it.

Dunstan

“It’s nice to give someone a goal ever now and then.” — Marc-Andre Fleury

scotchnaut

“Seconded.”

-Portugal

Mr. Ayo

Pole Land anthem – Pour some sugar on me

Cecil Rhodes

Should be an easy triumph for the Spanish — they had an empire that was the envy of the world at one time. Then again, you can never truly bet against Poland when they have their talisman (who is also a S.P.E.C.T.R.E. agent) in their squad.

454148A4-7FFC-42DF-A483-9E0E5AB09450.jpeg
scotchnaut

Pretty much guaranteed that the vast majority of strippers are pulling for ‘Pole Land”.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nice start for Team tWBS.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Learned what a Kopite is today; as a history guy I wasn’t surprised at the origin of the term. I guess that’s more specific than Scouser, which I always heard from my personal security guys in Kabul.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if the regime in power back in the 1930s would have declared all public gatherings be held unmasked. I mean, Nuremberg is just 90 minutes up the road from Munich.

Last edited 2 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Game Time Decision

Anyone know why there’s a German player with a zorro type mask on? Thought I was seeing things

Doktor Zymm

So corrupt officials won’t recognize him when he defends the indigenous peoples of California?

Game Time Decision

So he’s gonna have a busy off-season

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not as effectively as Clark Kent’s glasses protecting Superman’s identity.

Dunstan

I don’t understand. Why would Superman be wearing Clark Kent’s glasses? Superman doesn’t need glasses!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe his normal eyes don’t see clothes at all, and those glasses “add” clothes to make it so he doesn’t walk around all day with a Super hardon in his Clark Kent persona. His red undies while in uniform are probably made of some kind of material that conceals the dong.

Dunstan

I still don’t get it. Clark Kent is a friend of Superman, sure, everybody knows that. But you seem to be implying that they’re the same person, which is just silly.

BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

A German defending minorities? That’s a bit of a stretch.

Viva La Tabula Raza

He’s only doing it until he can figure out how to fuck them out of all their property and money.
—Fred Drumpf

BeefReeferLives

Facial injury, I think…

BeefReeferLives

Yeah, yeah. Phrasing…

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Careful, you’ll put out your eye!!”

Doktor Zymm

Woo! Haven’t been ice skating in years, but been wanting to get back into it, especially with this current heat wave. With COUVID you now have to pre-register for free skate sessions at the Sharks facility, and I just signed up for Wednesday evening. I’m gonna put the over/under on my ankles getting tired at 3 laps!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if the players ever get distracted when ad boards change ads. I know it catches my eye. Do they practice in fields that have that feature, so they learn to shut it out?

Last edited 2 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Horatio Cornblower

Off to golf with my son and his gf’s father and brother. They’re serious golfers, I haven’t swung a club in anger in 3 years.

I bet the relationship is over by the 5th hole.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just tell them you have a better handicap than Donald Trump.

Gumbygirl

Let your inner Al Czervik fly. They need to know what they’re potentially marrying into!

WCS

comment image

scotchnaut

It’s on them if they don’t get your, “Well, that’s done. Let’s go back to my Tree House and drink some beers!” joke.

Senor Weaselo

The first date I ever went on was minigolf. It was far and away my least competent date. No, not even because of that, just because we were both 17-18 and incredibly awkward and had no idea what to do on a date.

litre_cola

Handjobs un the windmill.