Hey everyone!

Good to have you back again.

You know how each edition of Sunday Gravy starts with a preamble? This week being no exception?

This one is going to be a little tricky because as I write this, right goddamn now, I am fasting and have had no caloric sustenance for about the last 20 hours. Yee-haw! Only about 20 more to go!

“Procedure” tomorrow is why.

It sucks but I’ve done it many times before.

Now the hard part is going to be talking about this dish and posting these insane food photos without literally losing my goddamn mind, sprinting to my car and driving like a fucking maniac to the nearest fried chicken restaurant.

I will endeavor to maintain mental discipline but it won’t be easy.

Every once in awhile I can tell that a banner image is going to get some goddamn attention.

That picture got your attention didn’t it?

How the hell could it not?

That’s just a sexy ass photo right there. Not to mention that it’s one of my better “money” food shots I’ve taken.

Fried chicken has the fucking POWER!

This is part 2 of my “School Days” and childhood reflection menu concept.

Last week we did the “Braised Beef” that I loved as a kid, and now thanks to just making it I’ve re-fallen for it all over again.

Dish number two of my school days of lore is todays’ menu. Oven fried chicken with “mashed” potatoes, homemade chicken gravy and a friendly side of green beans.

Not only was this one of my favorite school cafeteria meals, it was without a doubt the school lunch menu of choice for everyone in school.

Only served about once a month due to just insane fucking demand, oven fried chicken was a guaranteed sellout each and every time it was served. Us kids lined up about 60 kids deep to dine on the oven fried deliciousness of this shit. The cafeteria dish featured the fake-ass potato “buds” of course and a curious chicken gravy with an oddly green-ish tint that was never the less, tasty fucking shit.

I originally was going to use the potato buds – I did – and also a jar of the store bought chicken gravy – that I did NOT do – and boy was the gravy decision the proper one on my part.

Lots to get to today but all-in-all this is a pretty time and labor friendly meal.

What’s cool as shit about oven “frying” as opposed to deep or pan frying the chicken is the ease of preparation and the clean up. Much, much easier in the oven plus it ensures a proper doneness that can be a little tricky to the infrequent chicken frying cooks out there.

Not to mention that it is every fucking bit as delicious as “fried” fried chicken and I’mma bout to prove that shit to you today.

Want some?

Get some!

Oven Fried Chicken!

1/4 cup butter 

1/4 cup of canola oil

1/2 to 1 cup of Panko breadcrumbs

1 teaspoon paprika – smoked paprika today

1/2 teaspoon of cayenne* optional

1/2 teaspoon of dried thyme* optional

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

3- to 3 1/2-lb cut-up whole chicken

Before we get fully cooking, I had a lot going on the day I made this dish. My nephew who lives near Fresno sent me a shit ton of jalapenos and I decided it was time to pickle some. We’ve done this before as you may remember.

That is a shit ton of jalapenos. I chopped them up, added a sliced carrot, some garlic and put a brine on them to pickle.

These are easy as shit to make and make the best goddamn nachos out there.

Check out the recipe in that link and try them.

Also rather than taking the easy way out I decided to buy a whole chicken and cut that fucker up myself.

This will ensure uniformity with the finished chicken.

After cutting.

Besides the legs, wings, breast and thighs the chicken also possesses the back, the neck and the internal bits that come along with a whole bagged chicken.

Know what we can do with that?

Of course you know.

We will make a batch of chicken stock for future use. Toss in your onion, garlic, carrot – no celery on hand today so I eschewed the celery – add in your seasoning, savories, the rest of the unused chicken, water and such then bring to a boil and simmer for a few hours.

In addition, I could have very easily purchased some store bought buttermilk today but thought I could share a kitchen trick with you instead. Say you only have regular milk on hand and don’t want to buy buttermilk just to soak the chicken in. All you need to do is add a tablespoon of white vinegar to a cup of milk, stir and you’ve got yourself some “butter” milk.

Handy substitution trick, that.

Let’s get that chicken in the “butter” milk.

Let this chill for a few hours or overnight. Think mine chilled for about 5-6 hours today.

That stock should be about done.

Turn the heat off of the stock and let it rest until cooled.

Since most of my sheet pans don’t have a raised edge and I was going to be, you know, fucking oven frying, I needed a new kitchen toy.

Check that beauty out!

My first sheet pan order from Amazon had an interesting twist. I didn’t read the size of the sheet pan properly and when it was delivered it was just large enough to properly cook 1 goddamn chicken leg.

Why the fuck would you even make a sheet pan that size? The fuck is wrong with people? That pan up there was more the size I had in mind. Fortunately the Amazon return process was simple and I had the replacement in just a couple of days.

Super easy recipe today. I’m going to use Panko breadcrumbs rather than the standard all purpose flour for the breading for extra crunch.

Next we season the Panko up with some salt, pepper and paprika. Adding cayenne and thyme here is a great call but I’ll leave that up to you..

Now we need to get some butter and oil on our sheet pan. Remember the oven “fried” part?

A combination of the butter and oil will keep the butter from burning during a pretty hot 425 degree oven cook but will also allow some buttery goodness to shine through.

Now that our brined chicken has come up to room temperature, dredge the chicken in the seasoned Panko mixture and place on the pan.

Before moving along, take a look at that photo. The breaded chicken one.

Look at the fucking size variance between, the legs, thighs and wings when compared to the breast. Do you see what I’m talking about when I mention the “bioengineering” of our food? Those are some Dolly Parton size motherfuckers up there in comparison. You would have been strongly challenged to cook each chicken piece to perfect doneness had you chose to fry this chicken the traditional way.

Goddamn those were some huge-ass breasts.

While the oven heats to 425 let’s drain our chicken stock.

Then let it cool before placing in a storage vessel and freezing.

The chicken will cook in the heated oven, skin side down for 30 minutes for the first step.

Flip the chicken over and cook for an additional 25 minutes.

Fucking hell you could stop right here and just dive into that shit head first but we’re not done here today.

Nope.

OK. Now we get to discuss this shit.

I can’t even start.

The school cafeteria obviously used the dried potato buds for convenience and the “mass feeding of school children” element and my brain latched onto that during the memory recall portion of this dish.

Don’t be fooled by memory and nostalgia people.

You don’t ever need to use these fuckers again.

Ever.

Secondly, what the shit happened to the big ass cardboard box of potato buds? Remember? Like industrial sized shit, right? “Idahoan” – just like in the photo – was one manufacturer. What was the other one? Hungry Jack or some kind of shit? That sounds right.

Now all you get are these little goddamn pouches of spuds.

Allow me to steal an old Vaudeville era joke: “These things are terrible. And the portions are so small!”

This shit is just a big damn wad of potato starch that has no fucking character whatsoever and FUCK I wish I made homemade mashed potatoes like I did last week.

Live and learn, I guess.

Fuck that. Let’s get to the good shit. The Gravy!

You want to scrape off as much of those browned chicken bits from the sheet pan as humanly possible.

Yes many of them have delicious chicken chunks stuck to them. You have my permission to eat those guilt free.

To get started add a couple of tablespoons of flour and a couple of tablespoons of butter to a pan with those delightful crunchies.

When the roux is melted stir it amongst all those delightful chickeny crunchy things.

Then slowly start adding in the whole milk. This is the part you want to master. Texture.

I can’t say it’s a cup and I can’t say it’s two cups. It’s as milk much as needed to get the texture you are looking for. Each batch of gravy can be different. Today there was just under two cups of whole milk needed.

Season the gravy with salt and lots of black pepper. Pepper up this fucker.

What the hell. Let’s ready our big “Wad-O-Starch.”

Christ, it just looks awful!

The only weak link today though because everything else will more than make up for that misstep.

Now let’s get a plate of awesomeness together.

Good god, Man!

Remember that scene in “Ratatouille” where food critic Anton Ego takes his first bite of the title dish?

That is exactly what I looked like when I ate this meal.

There may have been a tear or two silently rolling down my cheeks. This didn’t exactly scream “School cafeteria oven fried chicken” but it absolutely shouted “Exactly like Ma used to make.”

It was the gravy, I’m certain. This was the perfect duplication of Ma’s chicken gravy. That gravy was so goddamn good I even overlooked the horrible instant potatoes.

The chicken is INSANE! I will go on record and say you never need to fry chicken again. Period. This recipe is perfect. As good a piece of fried chicken as you can find. Every piece of chicken was cooked to perfect doneness.

That oven fried technique is crazy easy and the clean up is a breeze.

Let this be your new fried chicken recipe.

Please try it.

I’ve had a blast these last couple of weeks strolling down memory lane and revisiting the school cafeteria. Nostalgia was in full bloom and I had a couple of delicious meals resulting from it.

Oh yeah, that “procedure” I mentioned at the top went perfectly. Nothing of concern, just part of my 60,000 mile check-up.

Doctor says I’m in fantastic shape.

I feel so damn good I can make another batch of fucking fried chicken!

Thanks for being there you good people.

Always appreciated.

Until next week.

 

Be Safe.

Be Well.

PEACE!