This Is Your Thursday Night NFL Exhibition Open Thread

Rookies, camp bodies and practice squadders, Oh My! I’ll take it as long as the big fellas smash into other big fellas or slightly smaller fellas. We’ve got ourselves two games being played at the same time because why wouldn’t the NFL throw a doubleheader at a football-starved audience? Yeah, I know, there’s one coming up Friday. But Damnit!, tonight isn’t tomorrow and won’t be for another, you know, ‘x’ number of hours.

I must admit that I’m not remotely up to speed on the goings-on around the league. [$$$ signs flash in the eyeballs of all the fantasy dudes that will be playing against me] So let’s take a wee look.

In Get Them In There And Outta There Right Quick! News

-You can expect to see the likes of Jalen Hurts, Justin Fields, Zach Smith and Trey Lance to get a few series of play this weekend.

It Sure Does Help Being An Innately Authoritarian Organization

-The NFL Network is crowing about the fact that 91% of all players have nanobots coursing through their veins. Uh, I mean, have been vaccinated at least once. Cole Beasley doesn’t believe these numbers and would like to have more info to pretend to read.

To The Games!

Team/Pats:

-RumoUr monkeys contend that Macaroon Jones is catching up to Cameroon Newton. What does that even mean? Has Jones discovered a cutting edge fur hat store? Can I get this in possum and tie a red sash around it, please Expect to see both play but the highlight of the game should be the interviews afterwards.

-Washington identified the dross that was the wr’s behind McLaurin and went out and signed Curtis Samuel and drafted Dyami Brown in the third. I sure don’t like it when teams I like to shit on address obvious needs. I WANT THEM TO CONTINUE TO BE STUPID IN THEIR PERSONNEL DECISIONS. Is that too much to ask?

Pitt/Philly:

-Welcome to The Waddle Battle of Pennsylvania! Didn’t the Stillborns play just last week? Najee Harris is said to be playing again. Tomlin will run him into the ground, won’t he? I’m thinking Harris crashes and burns around week 12-if he doesn’t fall victim to a stress injury. We’re going to see a ton of those, aren’t we?

-Did the Eagles do enough in the draft to improve on their 26th ranked O and 20th ranked D? Has Devonta Smith reached the hallowed 180 pound mark? Will Hurts be able to hold the fort until Philly trades for DeShaun Watson? So many questions.

Have at it in the comments. For those lurkers out there, now’s the time to jump in with both feet and say something; after all, it’s just an exhibition game, not the real thing.