Rookies, camp bodies and practice squadders, Oh My! I’ll take it as long as the big fellas smash into other big fellas or slightly smaller fellas. We’ve got ourselves two games being played at the same time because why wouldn’t the NFL throw a doubleheader at a football-starved audience? Yeah, I know, there’s one coming up Friday. But Damnit!, tonight isn’t tomorrow and won’t be for another, you know, ‘x’ number of hours.
I must admit that I’m not remotely up to speed on the goings-on around the league. [$$$ signs flash in the eyeballs of all the fantasy dudes that will be playing against me] So let’s take a wee look.
In Get Them In There And Outta There Right Quick! News
-You can expect to see the likes of Jalen Hurts, Justin Fields, Zach Smith and Trey Lance to get a few series of play this weekend.
It Sure Does Help Being An Innately Authoritarian Organization
-The NFL Network is crowing about the fact that 91% of all players have nanobots coursing through their veins. Uh, I mean, have been vaccinated at least once. Cole Beasley doesn’t believe these numbers and would like to have more info to pretend to read.
To The Games!
Team/Pats:
-RumoUr monkeys contend that Macaroon Jones is catching up to Cameroon Newton. What does that even mean? Has Jones discovered a cutting edge fur hat store? Can I get this in possum and tie a red sash around it, please Expect to see both play but the highlight of the game should be the interviews afterwards.
-Washington identified the dross that was the wr’s behind McLaurin and went out and signed Curtis Samuel and drafted Dyami Brown in the third. I sure don’t like it when teams I like to shit on address obvious needs. I WANT THEM TO CONTINUE TO BE STUPID IN THEIR PERSONNEL DECISIONS. Is that too much to ask?
Pitt/Philly:
-Welcome to The Waddle Battle of Pennsylvania! Didn’t the Stillborns play just last week? Najee Harris is said to be playing again. Tomlin will run him into the ground, won’t he? I’m thinking Harris crashes and burns around week 12-if he doesn’t fall victim to a stress injury. We’re going to see a ton of those, aren’t we?
-Did the Eagles do enough in the draft to improve on their 26th ranked O and 20th ranked D? Has Devonta Smith reached the hallowed 180 pound mark? Will Hurts be able to hold the fort until Philly trades for DeShaun Watson? So many questions.
Have at it in the comments. For those lurkers out there, now’s the time to jump in with both feet and say something; after all, it’s just an exhibition game, not the real thing.
this way
I had to go into town to get presents for my brand new great-nephew, and his brother who is turning four. I tried to stay out of the candy store. I failed! Now my jaw hurts from salt water taffy. I’m taking a couple of hits off a vape, but that just makes me want more candy. It is a vicious circle. I’m just going to go read and forget all about it. See yinz tomorrow!
Youngest right was in 2nd grade and because I worked the graveyard shift grinding out microfiche and mortgage contracts my job was overnight. Banks had to get their shit before they opened for business the next day.
The turnarounds were stupid.
Anyway I drove the girls to school and the former Mrs. picked them up from school while I crashed.
One day youngest right was playing on the swing set waiting for moms when a dumb ass playground “monitor” I.E a fourth grader waiting for his moms to pick him up, swung too damn high and kicked my girl right in the eye.
She was fine not withstanding the black and blue around her eye.
And I had to drive her to school.
I never understood the phrase “Hairy Eyeball” until then.
I pleaded a plaintive case with extreme conviction and furious righteous indignation. Them grade school mothers are fucking fierce but they understood.
Then they beat the shit out of the 4th grade playground monitor.
The PTA is gangsta, for sure.
Well, looks like we’re done here tonight. The PA matchup is being run on NFL Network, but for some reason I feel I can predict how it’s going to end up. Congrats to Gumbygirl’s team. Goooood night.
Hey, we’re done when I say we’re done!
You can only fap so long before it’s over, no matter how much Viagra you take.
I tentatively have an appt next Wednesday afternoon to get my hair cut for the first time in 18 months. I grew up in the 60s and always thought long hair was cool, but never really had the opportunity to indulge. Now that 600K of my fellow Americans have sacrificed their lives so I can wear my freak flag, I almost feel like I am betraying their sacrifice. but the snarls and the extra shampoo required and the having to clean out the shower drain more often and shedding worse than my dog has finally pushed me to the limit.
God, I hate the Yankees bullpen. So anti-clutch.
I cannot remember a Yankees team that I hated watching this much. If they’re not striking out 12 times and scoring one run for Gerrit Cole, they’re making 4 errors. If they’re not making 4 errors they’re getting thrown out at 3rd or home because they run the bases like sugared up 6-year-olds. If they’re not getting thrown out at 3rd and home the starting pitcher is getting lit up like a Xmas tree. If the starting pitcher isn’t getting lit up the bullpen is blowing the lead in the 9th to Houston or Boston.
And despite all that they’re still 11 games over .500, (really 5.5, but that’s another rant)
Fuck ’em. I hope they don’t make the play-offs, because I do not want to invest any more time in this team than I absolutely have to.
This reminds me of December 30, 1977, the first legit shot Gumby had to get in my pants. But, Pitt was playing Clemson in the Gator Bowl, so he wanted to watch the game rather than be lured up to my room. The next chance he got was around September or October. Later, Gator!
That’s empowering.
It was mean and spiteful. But, lessons were learned.
Whatever y’all did, it seems to have worked out.
So this field of dreams game. Is it just a one off or a 3 game set?
Depends on St Peter
Peter Gozinya?
The one with the necrophilia thing
test
One-off, last two games of the series in Chicago. But they’ll be doing this next year.
Cut off @ a foot of thick Irish/???* hair today at Anne-Marie’s local haircuttery today. My pandemic hair, I suppose. I look like a fat Feelie. Sucks that now I have to use the same shitty joke a hundred times:
Co-populant: Hey! You gotta haircut!
Me: Yeah! I told her to give me the ol’ “Will The Defendant Please Rise?”
Both phonies: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
/scene
Do you have pro-fascist leanings? Feel like some ethnic cleansing? Are you attracted to the political musings of Ante Pavelic? If so, there could be some Croatian blood coursing through your veins.
Not so much that, but watching European footy has convinced me I’m DEFINITELY Serbian. Two of their strikers look just like my Aunt Gail.
I received a complaint about an invoice for services. My reply included the term “willy-nilly”.
Shouldn’t have had that 5th coffee.
You should send the Super Troopers to collect
Or the Starship Troopers.
Should’ve had at least 6
A sixth would’ve been an ALL CAPS
“You send me those $13 or I’ll dig up your mother”
Was “willy-nilly” used in some kind of narrative or as a line item on an invoice?
When I was working the Iraq program, I reviewed a contractor’s invoice that charged the USAF something like $75K for a cash counting machine. A little on the nose, I thought. Fucking pallets of cash were disappearing there as soon as the C-130 or C-17 landed. I disallowed the fuck out of that one.
I’ll chip in $20 if your next response includes “pettifogery”
I’m in on this for $10
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/13.1.0/svg/1f6a8.svgWithin 24 hours, 3 Broward County, <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/Florida?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#Florida</a> school teachers and 1 assistant teacher DIED of <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/COVID19?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#COVID19</a>.<br><br>“The teachers ironically all {died} around the same time Broward County’s School Board voted to defy <a href=”https://twitter.com/GovRonDeSantis?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>@GovRonDeSantis</a>’ order to drop the mask mandate."<a href=”https://t.co/PfUjRraZOo”>https://t.co/PfUjRraZOo</a></p>— Dena Grayson, MD, PhD (@DrDenaGrayson) <a href=”https://twitter.com/DrDenaGrayson/status/1425984690381598723?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>August 13, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
https://mobile.twitter.com/DrDenaGrayson/status/1425984690381598723
When the collapse comes, I’m getting this tattooed on my back (no words).
I think the meem formats you leaned on during the end will be very telling in the new setup.
You’re probably going to get burned out on updating that Simpson’s meme pretty soon.
Edit: but obviously not yet…
Need to automate it.
CONGRESS do something
Yeah, Rod’s gonna lose his singing voice over the next two weeks.
“AND YOU WANT ALL OF US ON THEIR CRAPPY HEALTH CARE PLAN LIKE ENGLAND? PRIVATE HEALTHCARE WILL SOLVE THIS! QUIT SAYING THESE PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT INSURANCES WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SAVED ON MY PLAN! THIS VIRUS IS NOTHING!!!!!!!
Found a funny;
Solar powered computers cranking out AI generated articles long after the ocean turned to slime and steam. “Is Now the time for a Rugrats revival?!” A skeleton turns to dust
Was surprised to see some Cam jerseys in the stands. I figured he’d lost a step and his days were over. Who knows though…..
His jerseys are sold at 3/5ths the price of the jerseys for white players. Lot of folks on a budget up in NE.
But in sizes 5/3 larger than in other locales
That was pretty exciting.
I think we should all pitch in and make sure this “Steven Montez” character makes the team so at some point during the season when he leads a 4th quarter comeback
IChris Berman can make a Montez-uma’s Revenge joke.I got nothing but time these days.
I’m game
Those are some New England fans.
Honestly. This should be a drop. You’re playing freaking football and you want a completion, then take the ball to the ground. This silly “oh he held it for three still frames, ” is such bs.
What is this “football” you are speaking of? I thought they changed to “lawyerball”.
That more than makes up for the holding call back in the first quarter. Patriots officiating is back for the attack!!!
No OTs this year? I hope everyone ends up at 9-0-8 or 0-9-8.
0-0-17
Better yet. But ALL the teams can’t have that one….
Was thinking all ties, been a long day.
I guess that’s a statistical possibility,
That was a good throw but that receiver had a ton of space. I don’t suspect Bill is gonna keep that cb without a call from his hot mom.
She’s already making a pitcher of daiquiris back at Bill’s domicile.
That some real Football Team Football!
WE WANT A DRAW! DRAW DRAW DRAW!!!
Goddamn soccer fans.
It’s the lazy eyes.
chuh chuh, no Extra Time OR Golden Goal 2nite!!!
I don’t really get fiduciaries. Do you guys have one?
Oh God no. it’s selfishness or gtfo.
Yeah like what’s their deal? I mean, great you have a floor but what is your ceiling?
Man, it looks like Governors Abattoir, “Butcher” DeSantis, and Tater are doing everything in their power to kill all the kids that attend public schools. It’s ok, it means they’re poor kids. Glad I don’t have kids or grandkids involved. I’ve got a spare acre out back where Governor Wheelie can dig a mass grave for all the kiddos, but I do demand to be financially compensated.
See? If Trump were still in office you could name your FEMA price. Instead Biden wants to throw this pandemic on the cheap.
LioUns are up 4-0, such an exotic score.
Four is a square!
I kinda miss that game
Scorigami?
The only result I found for CFL Scorigami is that somebody on Reddit prepared a Google Doc of it a few years ago. Don’t know if it’s been maintained. But 4-0 would not be CFL Scorigami.
HOYER!
Another failure from the Browns? I’ll take it!
Aren’t ‘failure’ and ‘from the Browns’ redundant?
What game you got?
Oh wait I just saw him.
What a great career.
Probably made a lot of bank being mostly a backup. Not Clipboard Jesus money, but still…
Sure but THAT is an interesting career for a backup.
I understand that Charlie Whitehurst has a huge yacht that he lives on in Monte Carlo. At least that’s what I heard. It is too late and I’ve drank too much to bother doing any research.
Macaroon Jones with 13 completions for all of 89 yards. He’s a star!
HE’S OUAH STAH! BEST FACKIN QB FROM ‘BAMA KEED!
Hahahahah. That was a horrible punt return!
They’re shooting here again (rhymes with “Breast Swirled”) and it’s been so much more calm than last time. Hopefully they don’t cut loose tonight but so far it’s been a breeze.
Breast Swirled sounds like an old Balls search term
Joey Gallo’s hitting about .150 since joining the Yankees, so naturally he’s up with the bases loaded and 2 outs.
And he grounds out weakly on the first pitch.
This fucking team.
Joe Buck mentions the .225 RISP. It’s gone down today!
Rewatching Breaking Bad; Skyler’s bitchiness may be overstated, but a PT Cruiser? Cmon.
I’ve actually never seen Breaking Bad. I know, I know. I keep saying I’ll get around to it and never do
The Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq. (ret) is like that with The Wire.
Breaking Bad, Sopranos, and Justified are the only 21st century TV series I have watched in their entirety. US version of Life on Mars, too, but that was only one season so I don’t count that. 20th century: Homicide: Life on the Street.
Wife and FIL love Homicide. I’ve got all the seasons on Plex and we’re working our way through them now.
The last couple of seasons were a bit half-assed, they brought in some fashion model to play a homicide detective and it was just so lame.
I watched The Wire but not Breaking Bad, same with Narcos and I really wanted to watch that.
I watched the first couple of seasons of the Wire, because David Simon Homicide guy, but it really was too bleak and depressing for me to continue.
“I Fucked Ted”
Great line.
Great series. Don’t know if I could handle binging it again, it was pretty fucking intense. Like a repo man.
“Nice meth.”
“Thanks, I made it myself.”
“98% pure.”
I got a kick out of the show producer’s telling people not to hate Skyler when in the early seasons she was presented as one of the main antagonists to Walt.