Anyone else come to the title’s realization, and get pre-depressed? Just me, then. And Everton hasn’t even lost (again) yet.
We start early with Gooners and Barcodes (7:30, NBCSN). One hopes Handsome Mikel takes out some frustrations in this one, as the visitors cosplay as murderous shieks. FUN TIMES!
You’re going to want to run errands during the 10:00 window, but for the deranged – your options are Norwich/Wolves (NBCSN), Shite/Saints (USA, also please someone nuke this fixture from orbit), and Palace/Villa (Peacock). BLECH.
Spotlight Dance is Brighton (again, featured) hosting Leeds (12:30, NBC). They both need this one pretty desperately, as Trashbirds look to arrest their inevitable slump, whilst Leeds need to get out of relegation danger. Could be worth a channel flip, at least.
Everything on Sunday is streaming, including Ragnick’s debut with Men Untied, against the monster that is Tuchel’s Chelski (11:30). Bleeds over a bit into RedZone, which is a terrible thing.
Of course, lots of JV action:
Theeeee Ohio State (-7) at Michigan (Noon, Fox)
Ah yes, the mega hype game that will be 24-zip tOSU after one quarter. Harbs the Lesser will make lots of constipation faces, though.
Wake Forest (-4.5) at Boston College (Noon, ESPN2)
Wake Forest is in the title match with a win. I will care greatly about this if State doesn’t disappoint me Friday night (SPOILER ALERT – they always do). JV Massholes are already bowl-eligible, so I doubt they’ll care much. But you never know.
Florida State (+3) at Florida (Noon, ESPN)
One of these horrifyingly bad teams will still end up in a bowl game. I don’t recall the last time they ever played with .500 on the line. Strange days, indeed.
UT-San Antonio (-10) at North Texas (2:00, ESPN+)
Beep Beep! for our recovering imaginary pal VLTR (who is welcome to borrow my Plus login if he needs it), whose crew tries to finish 12-0. That’s damned hard to do at the D-1A level. We likes our Texan pal so much, he even gets the banner pic!
Alabama (-20.5) at Auburn (3:30, CBS)
Look, War Damn Eagle isn’t much this season. But a 3-score dog at home, to a very vulnerable Roll Damn Tide – with hatred-fueled pride on the line? Heck, I wouldn’t be shocked with an outright upset.
Oregon State (+7) at Oregon (3:30, ESPN)
I am quite annoyed this game isn’t at night (maybe a 9:00 EST kickoff?), and that it isn’t in Corvallis. Eugene is a dump, by the way. Expect Niiiiiiiiccccceeee Beaver to hang around, at least. Civil War is 100% my favoUrite Derby name.
Paedo State (-2) at Michigan State (3:30, ABC)
Fun game, but with fuckall on the line. We will see who shows up. Please be Sparty.
Wisconsin (-7) at Minnesota (4:00, Fox)
Paul Bunyan’s axe! Would be fun if the winners got to rampage/pillage with it. Some switch flipped for Bucky Badger after that horrid 2nd half against Notre Dame. They could win the right to be ass blasted by tOSU next week! WHAT MOTIVATION!!
Enjoy these, because the night slate underwhelms (to put it nicely).
What changes with the rankings if Alabama loses? Nothing? I’ll bet it’s nothing.
Barajas: “We all agreed that Alabama deserved to be the #1 team because they fought valiantly to the end of the game.”
3rd and 27? JV NFL BLITZ!
Oldest son (who is 19, can buy liquor now, and has a fulltime job at the warehouse) walked out of the house and said, “Hey Dad, see you later”, while holding a vodka bottle that he grabbed from the freezer, like he’s putting one over on me. Son, the wife likes vodka martinis these days and for that reason there is a “Strategic Vodka Reserve” you know nothing about.*
*Kids, they’re so stupid
Is all of Canada 18 (age of liquor consent)?
19 except its 18 in Quebec
Reason #362 why Canadia is better than its shorts.
I would giggle a bit if TEAM ends up drafting this Haskins kid from Michigan.
“It’s totally different!”
“This one is from a school that has had recent success.”
Talk about “Recency Bias”, Redshirt. Wow.
bd7.png (500×367) (kym-cdn.com)
Fuckballs!
The BEEP BEEP’s not looking good so far.
— W. E. Coyote, Southwest United States, Genius
As a kid I absolutely adored the episodes where he actually talked.
Did not figure things would go well…
Grandpa Weaselo, around my birthday two weeks ago: Senor, what do you want for your birthday?
Senor: I don’t know, I’m okay. I am going to get myself a new gig suit though, this one has gone through its paces.
GW: How much will it cost, I’ll write you a check, go buy a suit.
SW: I don’t know, I need a new black tie too, so $400?
Sales associate: Your amount is $401.
Senor, in the car after buying said suit and ties: I think this means I get to play Plinko. Thanks, Bob Barker.
“Wake Forest extends Clawson with long term deal.”
Typical of these agricultural colleges to overpay the coach as soon as the team sniffs a bit of success.
This may not bump Cincinnati. Ohio State got clearly outplayed and outcoached. If there were from the SEC, that may have a shot but this committee won’t put a 2-loss Big Ten team who didn’t even play in their Conference Championship game in the Top 4.
Committee: Challenge accepted.
If there is anyone who says the Ohio State-Michigan game doesn’t matter and isn’t worthy of being called “The Game”, I ask you to (1) go watch Michigan’s reaction to winning after losing for so long and (2) to go fornicate yourself.
I will go do both right now, and take a long shower afterwards.
Fuck. Like Ohio State, I just lost The Game.
LoL
https://mobile.twitter.com/cjzero/status/1464693373650960390
GIF
Well at least I get to see Michigan get bitchslapped by Wisconsin, Iowa, Alabama or Georgia. Also, Harbaugh gets to stay at Michigan for him to lose to Ohio State a few more times.
Eric Idle – “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” – STEREO HQ – YouTube
Will Harbaugh retire now that he slayed the windmill?
I hear the Lions might need a new head coach soon up there in Detroit.
There is no BLEERGH.
Yoooo
Michigan is Rocking!!!
This stadium is going CRAZY
Meatchicken defeats Ohio State, then knocks Cincy out of the Playoff rankings, and Redshirt goes full Fozz on ERRBODY.
Hey, where did we keep the sharp objects?
If Auburn pulls off a miracle here, AND Alabama loses to Georgia in the SEC championship game, you still have a shot.
A certain Ohio state team is about to lose THE game.
In other news, my school’s D2 team just won and moves on in the playoffs. (Helluva game, too.)
LoL
“Wait, we’re winning?”
If I squint my eyes, the Buckeye stickers almost look like Bengal stripes.
Should’ve went for two.
C’mon Wolverines, you’ve only got one quarter left to do your traditional choke job.
Edit: It begins.
TD Wolverines!
I appreciate the recommendation, but I’m pretty happy at TD Ameritrade.
Shit.
As an American, I am quite proud that our Army is crushing Liberty.
They’re all great, but here’s how I’d rank these five films:
1. Terminator
2. Conan the Barbarian
3. Predator
4. The Running Man
5. Commando
Very hard time setting the order of the last two.
Conan, then Terminator 1.
Total Recall would like a word.
It wasn’t among the choices.
It was in my dreams.
Commando is 1, for sentimental reasons. And for the number of one-liners in the movie. Because it’s all one-liners.
Hahaha yikes
if I were to have a grave, I’d like that engraved upon it
LoL
This stadium is Rocking!!!
pervy cameraman deffo has a thing for coed “O” faces
/not a complaint, mind
“UConn should have used a time-out there….”
Buddy, UConn just wants the season over as quickly as possible, never mind this game. There will be no time-outs used.
Chemical Engineer, a Dutchman I know, worked for 25 years for Dow in Houston. He adopted UofH as his team, which, considering his other options, is the most rational of all the Houston teams to choose.
There are other teams in Houston?
[slaps forehead]
Oh, of course, the Rockets and the Astros.
Can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time watching tOSU-Michigan in the snow when I could have been watching UConn vs. Houston, from sunny East Hartford, CT.
There’s a Cabela’s next door!
he even gets the banner pic!
“Beautiful Single Women in San Antonio Want to Meet YOU!”
No they don’t.
That’s right, the only guy they want to meet is Charles Barkley.
At Riverwalk!
Did your avatars come back by themselves or was there sorcery involved?
Mine’s still MIA
I’m wondering if it’s a gravatar thing – I believe mine is served by gravatar, and the ones that aren’t showing are hosted on our own server.
I’ve tried to make sense of the Gravitar thing but quickly lost interest after getting royalty pissed off. The computer jive talk flew right over my cave man head.
Don’t get me started…
Tebow’s biggest problem with a curve is dealing with a Peyronie’s disease circumcision.
It’s a special circumcision that all Filipino doctors save for use only on the children of evangelical Christians trying to convert the Islanders from Catholicism.
Much obliged for the shout out. When I graduated 1988 we didn’t even have a football program, only hoops. I think Olajuwon’s little brother Taju took us to the big dance in the early 1990s only to be eliminated in the first round.
I appreciate the offer of the codes to The Plus, but the last time I rooted for a team to go undefeated all the way all I got was a stupid Helmet Catch. I’ll probably just follow along on Gamecast, there’s plenty else available. Thanks again and may your pill bottles always miraculously remain full!
My bad
Looks like they calling it the Ump Cam
Umpires perspective.
tOSU would also be well-advised to keep running the damn ball
https://www.google.com/amp/s/quoteinvestigator.com/2011/10/04/pass-3-things/amp/
Both Hippo and Other Hippo would like to voice their displeasure of having to cheer for tOSU today. It is unpleasant, and hopefully will not need repeating.
One of us. One of us.
God, especially since I have to watch because (i) SNOW; (ii) Gus Johnson; and (iii) every time I flip to ESPN2, BC fucks up.
/yes, I have to be a temporary (JV only) Masshole today, too
//damn it, I hated myself enough already
I rooted for your Bearcats yesterday. This might be a bridge too far. How about a glorious draw?
I wish we’d go back to having JV Draws. Play a 10-minute OT like the NFL, then quit.
That’s right, they keep going until exhaustion and tragic mistakes.
In my 25 years with the USAF, I’ve met and worked with several folks that have attended one or the other of these institutions, and that’s enough for me to simply not care who wins but that we have a close, exciting game. And a draw would be acceptable as well.
tOSU would be well-advised to go for two. Every single time.
https://www.thelantern.com/2021/11/woody-versus-bo-because-i-couldnt-go-for-three/
Found a funny;
prisoner 1: what are you in for?
prisoner 2: murder
prisoner 3: arson
hamburglar: alright well it feels stupid now
Saved by the Bell just made Showgirls all but canon. I didn’t know I needed that.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/screenrant.com/saved-by-bell-showgirls-jessie-vegas-elizabeth-berkley/amp/
That’s pretty funny, especially the shot at Verhoeven.
Also they got video replay from the perspective of the Linebackers on the field.
That’s Rocking!
Love me some snow FITBAW. As a kid (in Charlotte), we got appreciable snowfall like once every 3-4 years. But we always, ALWAYS played football in it.
Also, we NEVAR played non-tackle football. Git off-a mah lawn.
It was a favourite pastime to sign each other’s plaster casts on the various broken bones. I get a nostalgic twinge whenever a hear an ambulance siren
If Michigan manages to win this, (they won’t), what do you suppose the odds are that they move to 3, OSU falls to 4, and Cincinnati gets fucked? 1:1, or higher?
99.999%
Depends on how close the game is. In the 2006 game (#1 vs #2), Michigan only went down one spot but that was the BCS.
Gonna watch this Ohio state-Michigan game.
They’re playing in the snow which is ROCKING!!! 💯☃️
I was thinking of getting a nice set of matching silk pajamas for the Dr. Mrs. and myself for Christmas. Any suggestions as to where I should order them from?
LilySilk has mens and womens.Nordstroms I think carries both too.
I just looked at Lilysilk’s website. They are having a good sale on matching sets right now.
Thanks!
(old funny joke)
When Bo Schembechler passed away, he arrived at the Pearly Gates to a hero’s welcome. St. Peter steps down from his platform to shake his hand and personally give him a tour of Heaven that ends with his house, a very nice house that is painted maize and blue and had a University of Michigan flag hanging from the porch. Bo thanks St. Peter and goes inside his new Heavenly home to settle in.
The few days later, St. Peter goes to check on Bo and see how he’s doing. Bo again thanks him for the house but he is confused on something. He points to mansion on a hill overlooking all the other houses. The mansion is painted scarlet and gray, has Ohio State banners all around it, a fountain and a gate with the Ohio State emblem on it. Bo questions why Woody got a better house that he did.
“There seems to be some confusion, Coach Schembechler,” St. Peter replied. “That mansion is God’s house.”
(equal opportunity joke)
Do you know how to get an Ohio State graduate to leave your house? Just kindly pay for the pizza.
SNOW GAME ALERT!!!
A brilliant result for Her Majesty’s Water Pistols! The patrons at the ground were surely mesmerized by the Arsenal attack — one might say that it was almost reminiscent of the proceedings in Mecca during the pilgrimage of the Hajj! Perhaps this means that the House of Saud was not entirely disappointed that their band of rascals could not get the job done.
HAWT TAEK – Slippy G’s Villa might be even MOAR naueasting than Klopp’s Redshite.
/enough hate in my heart for both, obvs
I was going to say ¿Porqué no los dos? but you beat me to it.
House of Saud FC really could go down.. Hippo would be quite content with that.
/Everton will be satisfied playing footsie with 16th
I saw “The Little Hours”. Short version:
-what a cast!
-light and hysterical
-Fred Armisen is a genius
It says it’s based on Boccaccio’s Decameron. I’d say it’s pretty faithful to the text, per knowledge.*
* Was in reading lists for classes taken, heard lectures about not having read it from professors and exes.
I too am familiar with the works of Boccaccio.
TRUE HIPPO ANECDOTE:
YES, I gave up last night. Went to bed on the 14-10 lost fumble, game had already been on mute/tilt for like an hour, and my body just couldn’t take it. I would almost surely have had a coronary otherwise.
So happy we pulled it out of our ass, let them stew in woulda/coulda/shoulda hell for once.
FUCK. U*NC. In ALL the fuckholes.
I do that all the time. I think my teams do better if I’m not watching half the time. Helps me keep my karma in check too.