It is the last day of 2021! We made it!
As this post publishes, the New Year is beginning in The Azores, so Feliz Ano Novo!
That can also be translated in Spanish as Happy New Anus so I feel that’s perfectly appropriate.
Our European pals are already in the new year so they can let us know how it’s going. Anything cool happen yet? I’m thinking yes but people complain that I’m too optimistic.
I wish you all the very best this year!
As far as the music, we are back to the puzzles! No one got it last week, so I’m replaying it for the last time. Let’s see if you can figure it out.
Today’s pictures are once again courtesy of you perverts. Thank you very much for your contributions!
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Balls’ New Year Resolutions!
Instead of a stand-alone post, I figured I would include my goals for this New Year here in this space. As in previous years, I encourage everyone else to join in the fun and write down their goals in the comments if you didn’t already in Sharky’s post. They say that writing down your goals helps you A LOT in achieving them, so let’s get to it!
Goal Número Uno – Fitness
Last year, I achieved my goal of getting below 20% body fat and keeping it there. My goal this year is to get jacked like Stewart in Letterkenny
I figure the goal will be getting below 15% body fat and increasing the size of my biceps, thighs, and other muscles.
Goal Número Dos – Literature
Last year, I started reading the Fractured Europe series of books by Dave Hutchinson. I finished the first two (Europe in Autumn and Europe At Midnight) and I have in my possession the third book, Europe in Winter. I want to finish that one and then finish the series with Europe At Dawn.
I also have a book written by former KROQ deejay Richard Blade. Last year, I read his autobiography, The World In My Eyes, which was VERY good. He also writes fiction and I bought his novel, Birthright. Depending on how I like it, I may buy/read more of his books.
So, the goal is to read 5 new books in 2022.
Goal Número Tres – Writing
I really enjoyed writing the Goddess series and other posts with TWBS. He was a great writing partner and provided a lot of inspiration for writing fiction. As you can tell, my posts don’t really go much into creating characters and stories. I did a little of that with the TWBS Dante series that Senor Weaselo so graciously took over after the Inferno portion, but I would like to delve into that world more.
I think it will push me to be a better writer and that’s the purpose of resolutions, isn’t it? To push yourself into areas where you feel uncomfortable and improve yourself?
So, the goal is to write a multi-post series along those lines. I’m not sure yet how it will work, but it will be interesting.
Goal Número Cuatro – Leisure
I have not had a real vacation in a very long time. COVID hasn’t helped, either. I don’t know what the future holds or what the COVID situation will be by this time next year, so I’m not going to say I’m going to travel internationally or something like that, which I’ve done in the past. Instead, I think I will go for the full week off work with the phone being off.
Trust me, that’s going to be EXTREMELY difficult to pull off.
However, I need to. I don’t have long, hopefully, until retirement but I also do not want to burn myself out. To paraphrase Depeche Mode, you’ve got to Get The Balance Right.
Goal Número Cinco – Giving Back
I know that I am extremely lucky to have the life and lifestyle that I have. Not many people do and most of the time, it’s not their fault. As I get older, I realize more and more how life is not in your control and how, if one or two things were to happen differently, your life would change drastically.
So, this year, I want to devote a lot of time and energy to helping others. I’m not quite sure how that’s going to play out. I may mentor some staff at work and help them to improve themselves and their skills. I may volunteer my time doing beach cleanups or some things like that. I may run 10K or 5K runs for charity. I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do, but I do know I want and NEED to do something.
So, the goal is to do one act of giving back each month. More if I am able to.
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For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.
Here are your 12 pictures of the week.
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YOU’RE-A-PRUDE
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And now, for the music!
As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!
This week, I present to you what I think is the toughest puzzle yet. The first clue was Video. The second clue was Release. The third and final clue is: Title. I’m hoping you’re able to get it from there. Enjoy!
Song Number One:
Canción Número Dos:
Chanson Numéro Trois:
Canzone numero quattro:
Canção número cinco
Seigarren zenbakia:
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That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and fly low and avoid the radar.
Happy New Year, assholes.
HAPPY EAST COAST NEW YEAR!
One behalf of all of dfoers on the east coast
Meh
Andy Cohen is hammered and this still isn’t compelling tv
My resolution? Cut down on the backlog. And maybe find a way to watch BattleBots this year.
Starts next week! Can’t wait!
Late NYE lunch today:
I miss sugarfish
For Gumbygirl:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlJtfbk1eRs&ab_channel=phish59
Pre-Happy New Year from the west coast of Canada. Riga is disappointed in my life choices this year. Hopefully I can make her happier in 2022.
Here is the solution to the puzzle:
Each song has lyrics that were later used as the titles of video/film releases by the artist.
Killing An Arab has the lyrics “Staring at the sea, staring at the sand” and that was the title of a video compilation The Cure put out.
Let’s Dance has the lyrics “Serious Moonlight”, which was not only the title of one of David’s Bowie’s tours, but also the title of a concert film he put out.
Girlfriend is Better has the lyrics “Stop Making Sense”, which was the title of Talking Heads’ famous concert film.
Strangelove has the word “Strange” in the lyrics, which is the title of a video compilation Depeche Mode put out.
Sign O’ The Times is the name of a song, an album, and a concert film that Prince released.
Demon Days is the name of a song, an album, and a concert film that Gorillaz released.
Happy New Year!
No fair. It’s not 12am eastern yet.
I was just about to post this.
I wasn’t wrong.
Next Balls explains the Bible.
Princess has us watching Dick Clark’s corpse New Year’s thing, and what’s left of Journey is playing in Times Square.
This is far superior:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJHwmieQMvY&ab_channel=D.Hulbert
Happy New Year from Atlantic time!
/drinks, projectile spitting
WHO PUT WATER IN MY GLA—oh. Darling! Heh. I was just overcome with emotion gazing at your beauty.
‘
UGA is a 2.5 point favorite in the championship game.
Is that right?
I would likely bet Bama hard for that, so yes, it’s probably right.
“Connor Clapton, you come back here right this minute!”
Holy shit!
Holy fuck. Amazing
I love it when you stare at me like that 😘
That better be oranges the coaches get showered with. Not orange juice, oranges.
Love me some David Bowie. Let’s dance is a great one.
..
Ejecting a backup for Targeting? Oh, come on! Give him some patience; he hardly ever plays.
Michigan fans right now:
The Great New Year’s Eve Comeback begins!
How many times have they cut to Harbaugh in the 2nd Half?
This game is still on?
Start the running clock!
Has anyone else notice that every semi-final playoff game has sucked? Like, all of them:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_College_Football_Playoff_games
I blame the evil Gavin McCleod.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Bm9GPx5FMA&ab_channel=JohnSmith
The only solution is to expand so there are 8 more playoff games.
2014 Ohio State-Alabama was pretty good. Also, 2017 Georgia-Oklahoma.
Can not believe all 3 missed the Final Jeopardy question.
Did Amy win?
Oh my God, I remember her! Her husband was awful too.
https://youtu.be/GxhXJGA32YI
Easily.
No guesses on the puzzle?
I’ll reveal the answer at midnight Eastern.
Songs to dance to
If that’s not it, then it’s clearly songs with notes in them
Songs that stumped DFO
Songs that don’t feature Stevie Ray Vaughn, Stevie Nicks, or Stevie Wonder.
Songs that Stevie Wonder can’t see?
ALLEGEDLY!
That’s my favorite conspiracy theory
I’m pretty sure Stevie Wonder is really most sincerely blind, because I remember how he was dressed in the 70’s/80’s. It’s better now, but holy shit. There’s no way he would have chosen that stuff if he could see it! And the cheap plastic beads they used to put in his braids, oh Lordy!
.
Stevie Ray can’t see them either.
The puzzle is “Artists who have never been in my kitchen”
Lucky. I can’t get Depeche Mode out of mine.
I’m still infested with Ratts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=oLoXFmJBvlk
That’s Herb Fucking Alpert!
Women and their mesmerizing charms
Even though Michigan shit the bed, at least it’s not Ohio State.
Well surely Michigan is doing better than Cincinnatti I’ll just check the score
The inside of every window in my dojo is just dripping condensation.
And now I’m a little worried that my apartment is going to fuck me.
It was the bread!
The goddamn bread!!
Moxie!
/writes “game over” in notebook
//sprinkles nutmeg into Allagash White
///sniffs own farts, becomes erect
Most of us did that before the game started.
(The last part, of course)
Announcers talking about the speedy Michigan return man, while I’m watching half of Georgia’s return defense team catch up to him like he was running in mud.
I think I can see where this game is going.
Last funny;
Every year on NYE I think “no way they can turn this number into glasses” and every year I am wrong
I’ve started doing this thing where when I make a Manhattan, I put an extra luxardo in so lady BFC can also have one when I finish my drink. Im not saying I’m a hero, but I’m also not not saying it.
I’ll say it.
There may be better men, but they won’t be getting special “thank you” action like you will.
(special “thank you” action is when she says “thank you” without making eye contact)
Me: “Honey, have this cherry that’s been soaking in my drink for the last 20, (3), minutes.”
Mrs. Cornblower: (exhaling HUGE cloud of marijuana) “I don’t drink and I hate fruit. What the fuck is the matter with you?”
Ungrateful wench.
(Don’t tell her I said that)
Not a bourbon drinker, (lightweight) but I love a cherry soaked in it. I say hero, not zero. Stud, not dud. Champ, not chump.
Well he is your favoUrite but don’t tell anyone.
He is!
Time to chug freezer vodka and see if I can pass out before this stupid game concludes.
By “game” I presume you meant “year”.
.
RIP Alan Rickman.
I think that was this year, but between being on the losing side of 50 and (gestures vaguely at 2021 calendar), all of this shit, I have long since lost any sense of time.
I can confirm his dead state.
I hope everyone here’s 2022 is better than their 2021, even if their 2021 was still pretty good.
Whose 2021 was good? Morticians??
Canada Futbol!
Like her?
I found/find her attractive.
As you ought.
Same to you. We’re all still here, so 2021 was at least okay.
I bought this mug at the Rose Parade Float Display in Pasadena the day after Jameis Winston’s shitshow performance in The Rose Bowl Presented By Capital One.
Little did I know . . .
So I guess Georgia and Bama are just bigger and faster than everyone else?
Ok then. Despite this evening’s game, still think Bama wins.
What’s the spread? Bama by 6 or 7?
I’d bet on Bama for any line under 9.5. Saban has that team ready and Georgia doesn’t think they can beat them.
It should be noted that I do not bet on sports, because I am awful at it.
Likewise. I mentioned on an earlier thread that I liked Michigan and the points, so I really hope someone took advantage and bet a mortgage on Georgia.
I have a 50 CAD parlay with Bama -13.5 and Georgia – 7.5 thank you!
What’s that work out to in Loonies?
I believe it converts to a stake of 4 Chinese knock off futbol jerseys.
Solid investing!
Only other tiny thing I can think of is that the SEC had a mostly normal, full season last year, able to develop players a lot better than most of the other conferences.
tOSU is the only school that recruits in the same stratosphere, and they just had an off (for them) year.
If they had any kind of QB experience at the beginning of the year they probably beat Oregon, and set up an hilarious situation where they moonwalk into the playoffs over Cinci with one loss
It will be 4-6.5, I’d estimate
I’d happily lay (phrasing!) anything less than a TD.
(i.e., bet Georgia heavily)
Bama all day with a line like that.
I might even wander down to that facility owned by some of our aboriginal brethren just south of my house and put a small sum of money on that.
OK, this is just mean.
https://twitter.com/NoEscalators/status/1477091705920839687
“Agreed, not having escalators is akin to a war crime.” – Coach Reid, gazing longingly at a second-floor barbecue joint
Michigan getting both their Upper and Lower peninsulas pushed in so hard-gonna have to start calling them The Inlets.
This would be a banner if any of us understood terms like isthmus
[frowns] – Mike Mayock
[drowns]-Mike Mayock
https://twitter.com/BobbyBigWheel/status/1477096257550274561
Listen, you can talk all the shit you want about 2021, but no year that saw the death of Rush Limbaugh can be considered all bad.
I am not kidding at all when I say this: the day he died I took a half day off from work because I was laughing too hard to focus.
I feel compelled to say “I just wish he had suffered more” but that would be true even if he had literally been tortured to death by genital electrocution over the course of six months.
AND YET
There are a whole bunch of Trumps and Trump-adjacent people that I will wish worse upon.
End stage cancer is a bitch, but I’m sure that son of a bitch was more doped up than Hippo after a Broncos loss and never felt more than a twinge.
Which is the sort of tragedy even Shakespeare would regret.
UM Offense: We have hope!
UGA Defense: Best save that hope for a merciful death.
Harbs the Lesser is relieved to avoid the clean sheet.
His year end review is going to include the awkward line item that he scored on the Dawgs.
“Yeah! Fuck them clean sheets!” – Najeh Davenport
You ever have a dream where you’re taking a shit, then wake up in terror to check…no, me neither. WEIRDO
Happy New Year! Can we skip right to 2023?
Not if Canada qualifies for the FIFA World Cup brought to you by slavery and dirty oil money!
They’re going to air condition the desert!
I mean you can’t get a hotel room (I looked all booked by Qataris) but whatevs, let’s play ball!
It’s hard to be bigger fans than Euro Futbol fans.
I forgot you’re on European time now, your majesty!
I thought it was “your highness”.
Sir, you’re making a scene.
Your Yinzerness
Nah, that’s me.
THE MISERY OF THE MASSES WILL BE SALVED BY THE BLOOD OF SLAUGHTERED HAPSBURGS FOR GENERA….
Uh, I mean, uh, hey, Happy New Year to you, too, WCS.
https://mobile.twitter.com/CBSSports/status/1477083249818181638?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1477083249818181638%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cbssports.com%2Fcollege-football%2Fnews%2Fmichigan-vs-georgia-score-live-game-coverage-orange-bowl-2021-updates-college-football-playoff-scores%2Flive%2F
Plans? No. There is a winter storm warning and it is fucking cold. Kid and pug puppy losing their minds therefore I upped the edible consumption for the evening.
It’s 40 and rainy here. like it has been for a straight week. This winter is going to be four months of fucking March, and I am going to go mad.
Took a little outdoor brewery visit in the snow, now back and making a Manhattan while dinner is in the oven.
I’m out of red vermouth. I’m drinking Cuba Librés instead.
I picked up a very cheap, not great bottle of sweet vermouth earlier this week.
I can’t wait to have my bar back.
It’s irritating to me that despite all the “advances” in voice recognition technology, there’s no way in a million years I could tell any device “let me know if the Michigan-Georgia game is within one score in the fourth quarter” and have it deliver.
From a code perspective, it’s remarkably simple, too.
That’s why I’m not worried about the machines taking over…
I had a friend who was a CS major and he laughed about the prospect of the singularity happening within our lifetimes. He was right to laugh.
WE DON’T EVEN HAVE GLORIOUS SEX ROBOTS FOR FUCK’S SAKE (literally)
They’re not ‘glorious’ for sure-
Me: [just last night] “Misako! Please, please unclench your kegels… Now!”
Misako: “Not just now, master. Just a little bit longer…”
I can tell you right now that the answer would be “no”
As I explained at length to a very disinterested Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq. (ret), if not for Cincinnati the committee would have been able to shoehorn Notre Dame into the playoffs. If for nothing else, we owe those kids a TREMENDOUS debt of gratitude and let us raise our glasses to their achievement this season.
HUZZAH!
Thank sweet Christ for that small mercy.
It’s not a “small” mercy. Just think how the committee had to choke down the bile in their throats as they passed over a one-loss Notre Dame team. ONE LOSS! If it had been to anyone other than Cincinnati themselves, the Bearcats would have been, to quote the late great Betty White, “dirt-roaded”.
UC fans are having that attitude: disappointing but hell of a season.
Cincy looks a damned sight better than MI
I dunno. Watching Notre Dame get slaughtered with the TV on mute might have been fun.
Having done so before, it’s kind of like getting old – just better than the alternative.
No, it’s way better to see them on the outside, pounding on the glass, screaming that *this time* things will go differently.
Look, I’m not sorry that Notre Dame didn’t get to fulfill their self-proclaimed Divine Right to get into the play-offs every year, but I’m not going to lie that I don’t miss seeing them slaughtered like a bunch of student video assistants on a scissor lift in high winds, either.