Rest in peace, NBCSN.  Woe be to USA’s loyal Law and Order re-run devotees, the Premier League is coming to rule Saturday morning.

Don’t worry, Rebecc-ur and the Robbies will still run things.  And they won the bid for the next 7 or so years, so things should be stable for a bit now.  NBC still shows the Spotlight Dance, and Peacock still streams shit.

Assuming #TransformerNuAIDS allows it, here will be your World Hangover Day fixtures.

Seriously, the best match kicks off at 7:30 (USA)?  No worries, Gooners and City-zens.  I was gonna be awake anyhow.  Handsome Mikel has to sit this one out with his cooties, so wager accordingly.

Moose Hornets/Spurs is the 10:00 broadcast option (USA, still weird to type).  I can’t figure Spurs out, but Watford is certainly a bit shit.  You could also stream Leicester/Norwich (Peacock), but why?

Spotlight Dance is Palace/Hammers (12:30, NBC), which is more interesting than might be readily apparent.  Two unpredictable sides, each attacking much more than in the past.  Probably worth your time, especially given how lousy the JV exhibitions have been.  Speaking of…

Paedo State (+2.5) v. Arkansas @ MRSA Pirate Ship (12:00, ESPN2)

TRUE HIPPO STORY – my mom has always liked Outback.  And their ribs are pretty good, I just find their steak overrated and the atmosphere rather cringey.  But hey, who eats in restaurants any MOAR?  Also, nobody cares about this exceedingly mediocre game.

Oklahoma State (+1) v. Notre Dame @ Fake Desert University Stadium (1:00, ESPN)

NOW we is talking.  Everyone talking up the fucking Irish again, like nobody ever learns how they fold in meaningful post-season action.  To the extent this counts as meaningful, anyway.  BDSM’s mindset is everything – if they checked out from the BayBay loss, they’ll lose.  If they’s pissed off, they will pants ND (quicker and harder than Father Flanagan ever did).

Kenfucky (-3) v. Iowa @ Scurvy Bowl (1:00, ABC)

I don’t believe this is the Hitler Mice’s stadium, but I am certainly too lazy to look it up.  I hate everything about Disney, but Vitamin C is indeed well-important (as any 16th-century sailor will tell ya).  Look for maybe 500 yards of offense here.  Combined.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was absolutely a fumble, but it sure would be funny to see Notre Dame get the shaft here.

litre_cola

Just bet on some Mexican Beisbol, step away from the gambling app Litre, step away.

scotchnaut

“Who died and made you Einstein?” is a great line and over the years I’ve riffed on it many times.

Brocky

A commercial for….. Ohio?

Fuck man am I still hungover?

litre_cola

We’re coming Brocky!
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Gumbygirl

When we decided to move to Montana, all of a sudden they started showing Montana tourism ads in Alabama. When we actually got to Montana, we started seeing Alabama tourism ads. Weird!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS OKLAHOMA STATE PLAYER I CALL HIM EARNEST BYNER…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can think of nobody more primed for success in a place like Oklahoma than a white male with the word “gun” in his last name.

litre_cola

Guys, He is a man. He was 40.

scotchnaut

I’m going to watch “Tremors”, which is the most perfectly constructed ‘fun’ movie ever made. I’m not taking any questions.

litre_cola

Michael J Fox was great in that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Janet Reno was delightful in her cameo.

Gumbygirl

Gumby is in charge of buying our calendars. I thought last year’s would be hard to beat (Goats-Wisdom from Nature’s Philosophers) but this year’s is National Park Monsters. Choose your mate wisely, my friends!

Mr. Ayo

I couldn’t even name 12 National Parks. And not even one Monster associated with any of them.

litre_cola

Is big foot yours our ours? Sorry, Sasquatch.

Mr. Ayo

Oh right, that’s ours! Allegedly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have a guess as to one of them.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QYiCP1kxL1E

Gumbygirl

.

20220101_132443.jpg
Horatio Cornblower

He had a marinated London broil to live for, so I suspect he’s still with us.

litre_cola

Janay Rice would like to tell you about a hitter.

scotchnaut

OKIE State coming back!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m actually rooting for Notre Dame in that one. I’d love them to throw that into Brian Kelly’s face, and I seem to recall Mike Gundy being a Covid-denier. Might be wrong about that.

Either way, fuck Brian Kelly.

litre_cola

And Kelly Bundy, and Kelly Kopowski too

Horatio Cornblower

Ok, yes, but for different reasons.

Horatio Cornblower

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/29024354/oklahoma-state-mike-gundy-apologizes-comments-coronavirus-response

Sort of right. More a typical football coach prioritizing football over literally everything than a Covid-denier.

Again, fuck Brian Kelly.

Mr. Ayo

Looks like we’re fresh out of interesting bowl games.

litre_cola

Sir, Boone Pickens is gaining on Nervous altar boys as we speak!

Don T

Call me Sol, ‘cause yesterday I drank so much beer and bubbly that I’m a ball of gas today.

scotchnaut

We’re almost at the point where Penn State should be hitting the showers.

Horatio Cornblower

Age 10?

litre_cola

Can someone explain to me the theft of Apes on the internets? People are losing their minds, and others are laughing, laughing, twirling then laughing at them.

The Maestro

NFTs are just the newest Ponzi tech scheme. People buy shitty digital artwork because…

A) it’s supposed to be “exclusive” (whatever that means), and due to exclusivity, there’s thus supposed to be demand, which thus is supposed to generate value. That said, in order to generate demand, this also requires finding new investors… which, yeah.
B) It gives you access to “exclusive clubs” online… some have privileges such as being able to interact with other likeminded NFT owners, which, uh… yeah, also that.

It’s an ouroubouros.

All this to say… people purchase and flip NFTs because it’s an excellent way to launder money, particularly when you’re paying through “untraceable” crypto methods. That said, these same chucklefucks that so desperately wanted to throw off the shackles of economic regulations (read: paying taxes and giving a shit about people other than themselves) are reaaaallly fucking quick to whine for the carceral power of the state when all of a sudden they’re the ones who’ve somehow been harmed.

I have less than zero sympathy for these dumbshits and I will continue to furiously right click every single shitty looking monkey and lion I find.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Something to do with NFT’s?

Brick Meathook

Here’s the opening paragraph from Investing.com:

OpenSea, a nonfungible tokens (NFT) marketplace, has frozen 16 Bored Ape and Mutant Ape nonfungible tokens (NFT) after allegedly being taken from a New York art gallery operator yesterday. One Clonex, seven Mutant Ape Yacht Club, and eight Bored Ape Yacht Club NFTs were taken in total, with a total value of 615 ETH ($2.28 million). In addition, they are no longer available for trading on OpenSea.

I have no idea what any of this shit means. I recognize some of the words, but not the order that they’re in.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So basically people who overspent for jpegs are pissed someone took them?

The Maestro

Precisely. And also want law enforcement to get them back for them, which is hilarious when you look at the stats of cops successfully dealing with property theft cases.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It also sounds like the “non-fungible” part is about to become kind of dubious.

2Pack

Nerds

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Brick Meathook

Union Station, Washington DC
January 2020
She had an enormous rack too

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litre_cola

Did she buy the rack at Chilis or a different pork product purveyor?

ballsofsteelandfury

Even the girl is checking her out.

Brick Meathook

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litre_cola

Nothing wrong with that!

Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2022 has already brought significant change in my life, in the form of me cheering for something to happen that makes a bunch of big dumb Okies smile, as opposed to furrowing their brows in a vain effort to understand how “God” let this happen to them.

Gumbygirl

Just for today, we can all go back to pointing at them and laughing tomorrow.

Fronkenshteen

Dec Rice and Lanzini are like an old married couple who finish each other’s sentences today. Our #10 really is a poor man’s Messi.

Fronkenshteen

London Broil marinade: PREPARED
Can’t wait to pummel the shit out of the inbound steak.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I need to try putting one of those in the sous vide to see how tender I can make it. And then if it’s not satisfactory I can put it into some chili or beef stew or something.

Redshirt

Okay, so the problem was Brian Kelly.

Mr. Ayo

— D. Sullivan

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– South Bend coroner, noticing that the student death rate has plummeted

scotchnaut

I OK State could have a defender (maybe 2!) in the middle of the field, that would be great.

Mr. Ayo

This is BDSM State’s best outcome. Being debased in front of a national audience.

Mr. Ayo

Rum Ham!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No! Rum bring pain!
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Last edited 4 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Notre Dame scores a touchdown in the first two minutes…you’ve really hit the ground running, haven’t you, 2022?

ArmedandHammered

Happy New Years everyone!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Finished up with the budgeting for 2021 – our spending is pretty much in line with our target. I downloaded a set of talking points from Chiefs.com to use when lobbying the Dr. Mrs. to increase our cheeseburger budget.

Redshirt

You make a good point about the opponent’s mood being important.

Alabama wasn’t mad, so they didn’t go out of their way to embarrass Cincinnati, just enough to win.

Georgia was still pissed about losing the SEC title game, and used Michigan as a stress ball for 60 minutes.

Fronkenshteen

LANZINIIIIIII!!!!!!!!

scotchnaut

Holy Bananas! Fantastic one-handed grab by a Penn State kid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Jerry Sandusky

litre_cola

Damn Ghanaian futbol. Busted up a parlay of mine. Had I been in Ghana I would have bribed the right people.

scotchnaut

I’ve been a good boy for awhile now so I think I’ll treat myself with some old-fashioned day drinking.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

keep it down, please

BrettFavresColonoscopy

With how quiet this place was at midnight dfo socal time…..no.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is the part of the morning where the Dr. Mrs., whose alcohol consumption last night could be described as “prudent” proposes something active and/or noisy because her head is not pounding the way mine is.

Mr. Ayo

Congrats grape popsicles!

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently they’re pulling the players off the field in Watford because of a medical emergency in the stands. You know what that means:
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Don T

I just remembered the World Cup is this year!
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scotchnaut

Be prepared to cheer for a plucky Canadia side this time around.

Don T

I have already (against the Lesser Ricans and México), and ceratinly will!

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t know who the ref in the Watford game is, but he needs to be shot.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are you suggesting that his lack of competence indicates that he’s unvaccinated?

Horatio Cornblower

Yes. That’s it.

(He just blatantly favored Tottenham again)

Mr. Ayo

He’s certainly on the bad side of the color guy.

Horatio Cornblower

I love that about English announcers. Unlike the US crews they will absolutely blister an official for a shit decision like that.

Don T

-That smells delicious! What are you making?

-Mushroom omel [tries to flip pan, spills a quarter in sink] fuck! Frittata, swiss and mushroom frittata.

Fronkenshteen

Declan Rice leaving Hammers will leave a hole at midfield the size of a shotgun blast.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gonna have to check with Jovan Belcher’s phrenologist to get the conversion to American units for that.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A man could not ask for higher praise than this.

Fronkenshteen

[door slowly swings open]

[staggers into clubhouse]

[slumps onto couch]

[takes giant slug of ice water]

[wipes chin]

[squints. frowning]

Why do spurs look like grape popsicles?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I should buy a truckload of Pedialyte to sell on the morning of January 1st. I’d probably make enough profit to get me through the rest of the year.

Fronkenshteen

[extends ten dollar bill with trembling fingers]

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, those are…interesting uniforms.

I guess they’d make sense for a game on Easter, but hard pass otherwise.

scotchnaut

What do Glennon and Jake “The Man With The Nerf Gun Arm” Fromm have to work with tomorrow? Well, there’s Golladay (who be injured mid-game) and then these guys-Pharoh Cooper, Ale Bachman, David Sills and Travis Toivonen. It’s supposed to snow today in Chicago and then be windy(!) Sunday. Take the under!!!

litre_cola

Whaddaya mean I can’t find a stream for Aduana Stars v Asante Kotoko SC in Ghana???? I have moneys on it!

Gumbygirl

I read that as “monkeys” and I laffed and laffed!

herodotus450

Well you know what they say Georgia, it’s tough to beat the same team 15 times in 10 seasons, you’re due for one over Alabama!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wonder what would be happening right now if Auburn hadn’t choked in the Iron Bowl.

scotchnaut

Been hearing that Rodri has been making all the difference. And there he is, making all the difference.

Mr. Ayo

RIP Dan Reeves

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He was quite the nemesis to my ten year-old Raiders fan self, but he was legit.
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Mr. Ayo

Gooners are shooting their dicks off.

litre_cola

I went to bed at 9 pm! Am sick and old.

ArmedandHammered

We went to bed early as well, the wife may have the latest flavor of NuAids and is sick as can be and wanted to rest. Me, I just wanted this year to end quickly and if I was asleep it would seem to end even quicker.

2Pack

I was there in July 1994 for the Humanitarian Relief operation we ran. For a couple of tribes that had just butchered a half a million of each other… the people were very friendly.

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