It’s a brand new year and we have brand new boobies and booties for you to enjoy! We also have a new fresh puzzle to start off the new year! First, the AFLW Preview!:

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AFLW Round 1 Preview

Admittedly, the AFLW season has kind of snuck up on me. It wasn’t until I started getting emails from Australian websites that I realized that the season starts this weekend!

So, in my typical manner, I will half-ass this preview on Thursday night (why am I getting flashbacks to high school?) in order to get you ready for tonight’s action!

First things first. Here is the Round One schedule (all times Pacific):

Friday, January 7, 2022

12:15 AM – St. Kilda Saints v Richmond Tigers at Skybus Stadium (Yes, I know it already happened. My dog ate my HW)

10:10 PM – North Melbourne Kangaroos v Geelong Cats at Arden Street Oval

Midnight – Western Bulldogs v Melbourne Demons at Victoria University Whitten Oval

Saturday, January 8, 2022

1:50 AM – Fremantle Dockers v West Coast Eagles at Fremantle Oval

7:10 PM – Adelaide Crows v Brisbane Lions at Flinders University Stadium

9:10 PM – Carlton Blues v Collingwood Magpies at Ikon Park (TSN2)

11:10 PM – Gold Coast Suns v GWS Giants at Great Barrier Reef Arena

To get you ready for the season, let’s do this 25 Questions style, but with actual answers!

1. How can we watch? If you are a Member of an AFL team, you get a WatchAFL subscription, so you can watch all the games through the WatchAFL app. You can also get the WatchAFL app subscription on your own here. The yearly cost is $165 AU, which is roughly equivalent to the Canadian dollar. On the cable/streaming side, Fox Sports and TSN have aired matches through their various networks and will likely continue to do so this year. Fox has not renewed their contract with AFL just yet, but will probably do so soon.
2. Who won last year? The Brisbane Lions beat the Adelaide Crows in a thrilling Grand Final. Yes, that means that we get a Grand Final Rematch in Round 1!
3. Then why is the Carlton-Collingwood game the one being aired on TV? Because Carlton v Collingwood is one of the oldest and fiercest rivalries in all of sports. Think Lakers-Celtics in the 80s or Yale-Harvard in polo or whatever rich people’s sport they play.
4. Are there any hot chicks? Um, that’s a sexist question. But yes (Google “the Hosking twins”). And they hit harder than the men.
5. Why should I care? Look, I’m not going to give you the Futurama gif where they try to explain that women’s basketball is better because of the fundamentals. The real truth is that these women play the game with a passion and a level of effort that is awesome. The best comparison I can give is that they play AFL football the way NFL players played American football before all those rule changes in the late 80s that forever changed the game.
6. Okay Ballsy, Ballsy okay, colour me intrigued, so who should I root for? Well, if you already have an AFL team, you can simply root for their Women’s team. However, you can also choose a different team as maybe your team (em, like mine) isn’t that good or doesn’t have a style of play that you like. Or maybe you like winners, I don’t know.
7. Let’s say I like winners. How did they finish last year? Here is the final ladder and how finals turned out:

8. So then the top teams should be good again? Not necessarily. There has been a LOT of player movement and no team is the same as last year. However, I can say that Adelaide, Brisbane, and Melbourne have been strong in almost every year of the league’s existence.
9. Balls, you’re really half-assing this preview. What about some of that in-depth ANALysis that you’re known and loved for? First of all, thank you for the compliment. Second, here is a very nice and comprehensive Round 1 preview from the AFLW.
10. What about the teams, dumbass? Did someone reincarnate tWBS? Seriously. Ok, here’s another link.
11. That’s just a bunch of names on an article. You really are half-assing it, aren’t you? What happened to the compliments? You turned cold on me quicker than the weather last week in Tennessee. Are you Latina by any chance?
12. Do we have any more of this scintillating ANALysis coming our way this year? First of all, phrasing. Second, yes. I will be re-starting the AFL Beat starting this Tuesday!
13. Ok, will there be gambling involved? Yes! We will once again do the AFLW Tipping Pool! Link is here.
14. What’s the prize? Do I really need to write out the words “Gently-used Fleshlight”?
15. Who got the Fleshlight last year? That would be the esteemed Dr. Son Of Spam.
16. Anything else I should know? No.
17. Seriously? No.
18. Can you just end this and put us out of our misery? No.
19. So, and then? No and then
20. And then? No and then
21. I’m not doing this. That’s not a question.
22. I’m not doing this? That’s better.
23. Can we please wrap this up? Are you sure you’re not my Latina ex-gf? But I only have two more to go to get to 25!
24. Ok, you want me to ask one more question? Yes, please!
25. Anal? You ARE my Latina ex-gf!

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As far as the music, we are back to the puzzles!

Today’s pictures are once again courtesy of you perverts. Thank you very much for your contributions!

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For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

Here are your 11 pictures of the week.

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YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

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And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

This week, I present to you a lovely puzzle. Enjoy!

Song Number One:

Canción Número Dos:

Chanson Numéro Trois:

Canzone numero quattro:

Canção número cinco

Seigarren zenbakia:

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That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and fly low and avoid the radar.