Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.

Slow around these parts with everyone scattering into the winds or back to whatever rock they crawled out from under now that the off-season is here. I do hope that y’all keep commenting and stick around throughout the year, as the dickishness of the site never changes, only there will be less footbawl for a few months.

Great to see Sunday Gravy back. Love reading some awesome recipes Sunday morning as I’m barely awake and eating my old man oatmeal. And I cannot believe this is season 8 of it. If I cooked anything that wasn’t already from Sunday Gravy or out of a box, I’d offer to fill in as that’s a lot of cooking.

We had a long weekend for “Family Day” yesterday, aka random day off in February, and took the Friday off too, to make it an even longer weekend. And did, like, almost nothing for four days. Twas glorious. Needed some time to just veg out on the couch with the Mrs, drinking (hard and soft drinks) and eating snaxx. But nawt the crazy Snack of the Month thing, just junk from the local store. Good for my mental health to just get away from work and online and all the crazy that’s going on these days.

The one thing that I did get done was to get the Christmas lights down off the house. I’m nawt going up on the roof when it’s got snow and/or ice on it, nor if it’s windy at all. Yesterday was lovely here, around 5C (40F), sunny with no wind. Was out in just a long sleeve shirt (and pants as to not get arrested) and it was warm to me. A few degrees warmer and it will be Tshirt weather.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts. Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Matt Stafford now has as many Super Bowl wins as Aaron Rodgers.
JimU

“And me! Maybe! I think!”

-Trent Green
Horatio Cornblower

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The Refs got involved in the game (which all the sports league has yet to realize is a problem), but them acting like Highway Patrol officers at the end of the month still not reacting their quota on speeding tickets doesn’t excuse the Zac Taylor brainfarting on the big stage:

-Going for it on 4th down early granted the Rams momentum and an early score. That early in the game, you pin them back and play field position.
-As soon as OBJ hit the turf screaming, you tell your defense to keep two guys on Cupp closer than his shadow and tell you pass rushers to rush Stafford like their lives depended on it.
-Once it became apparent the Rams Halftime Adjustments involved Donald, Miller and the rest of his friend treating their 1st Half performance as a Personal Insult and they resolved to get Burrow reacquainted with Orthopedic Surgeon, they should have run more running plays, draws, screens or quick passes instead of constantly sending your QB to the firing squad.
-I believe a wise person once said, “When there is 85 seconds left in the Super Bowl and you are down a field goal, YOU PUT YOUR BEST PLAYERS ON THE FIELD AND DAMN POSITION ASSIGNMENTS!!!” Unless Mixon punched someone again, he takes the field when your season’s on the line!
Redshirt

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Us to the NFL:

Sharkbait

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Announcing my new Panic! At the Disco cover band, apropos of current events:

Mormons! On the F Train.
Senor Weaselo

Also, they don’t hire musicians. Well shit.
Senor Weaselo

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THIS CURLING MATCH, I CALL IT VATICAN CITY BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF SWISS GUARDS
Dunstan

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7-layer dip counts as a balanced meal, right? You got your protein, your dairy, your vegetables…
Dunstan

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The best thing about this season is that it was Tom Brady’s and Big Ben’s last.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Me, watching this UEFA thing (artist’s rendering):

WCS

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WE HAVE LOTS OF TREES, AND SOME GEDDY LEES

SO OUR MUSIC IS OKAY

WITH OUR SYRUP THICK, LOOK! A HOCKET STICK

WE;RE PRETTY AWESOME, EH?

WE PROUDLY STAND

DENIM’D AND WHITE

O CANADA

LET’S DRINK SOME BEER, ALRIGHT?

O CANADA

LET’S DRINK SOME BEER, ALRIGHT?

I cannot wait to sing this in person with our Canadian comrades.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sharkbait

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Redshirt

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To quote Rocking Dog, “I found a funny:

Isaac Newton: slaps roof of car
Car: slaps Isaac Newton
ArmedandHammered

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I missed the first, but damn, that was worth it. Plus, USA is gong to lose anyway. Canadians are pretty much born wearing skates.
TheRevanchist

Important job of Canadian obstetricians is to make sure they’re wearing their little fetal skateguards, or else a breech birth gets really dangerous.
Dunstan

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THAT PENALTY AREA I CALL IT THE HOUSTON, BECAUSE THAT IS ONE ROOMY BOX!!!
Horatio Cornblower

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THESE CANADIAN WOMEN I CALL THEM THE ACCUSATION THAT A RUSSIAN SKATER’S SAMPLE TESTED POSITIVE FOR A BANNED SUBSTANCE BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT BE DENIED.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Me: “You know, I think I’m okay with the Bengals Super Bowl sombrero. We weren’t supposed to be get this far. We have room to grow. Free Agents will see Cincy has a destination instead of a place to avoid. I’m okay with…”

Social Media: “Hey look! On the last Bengals play, Ja’Marr Chase beat Jalen Ramsey harder than one of Adrian Peterson’s loved ones. He was wide open! If Burrow had just one more second (or just one second to be precise), he could’ve caught the easiest touchdown in Super Bowl history! Isn’t that funny!”

Me: “Hilarious. Time to go back to eating and drinking my feelings.”
Redshirt

Donald already had Burrow before that happened. Look:

Mr. Ayo

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Aaron has a fear of rings on and off the field.
NotShogunButShogun

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The best fake Ben Shapiro tweets are the ones that just skirt the edge of plausibility.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Canadian lady-convoy-leader (named Lich heh) just got arrested.

CANADIAN GAZPACHO IN ACTION.
SonOfSpam

I thought a Canadian Gazpacho was a cooled bowl of Poutine.
Mr. Ayo

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Found a funny;

Disney adults are so funny bc it’s like a cult that the leaders didn’t ask for. Disney is like “please don’t be weird you’re scaring the kids” and Disney Adults are like “no worries I’m just going to spread my mom’s ashes onto Goofy”
rockingdog

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Found a funny;

I get knocked down
then I lay down a bit
I’m very easy to knock down
rockingdog

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My socks have crossed the war crime threshold from chemical to something biological. There’s no other explanation for something that’s not being removed from a rotting corpse to smell like this.

THIS HAS BEEN YOUR LUXEMBOURG WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION UPDATE
WCS

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Just got to Riverside. Hanging for a few days while the sisters in law are taking a break in Cambria.Not the greatest timing when we’re moving, but that’s how it worked out. We have been busy all day, took a bunch of stuff from Big Bear to the new house. Lot’s of driving, way too much I-10. And I missed the first Request Line! Dammit! But the good news is, I have a brand new vape and gummies. And girl scout cookies!
Gumbygirl

Godspeed, moving ain’t no fun. But you’re properly equipped.

DFO HOUSEWARMING PARTY.
I’ll being a casserole.
SonOfSpam

I’ll being a potato salad with extra Mayo
Mr. Ayo

I’ll make cap’n crunch guacamole
Doktor Zymm

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Don T

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Daddy – Decilitre day in full swing. He is napping and I am drinking wine. Later we shall make pizza as we made dough earlier. Wife is at a wine course I purchased her and I got her a hotel room too so she can have a day not putting up with our shit.
litre_cola

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My word, these officials in the Water Pistols match may be more corrupt than the Cameroonian officials in the recent AFCON! They had three opportunities to grant the King’s Finest a deserved penalty kick, yet they chose to do the wrong thing and bail out those dreadful bees. I demand satisfaction!
Cecil Rhodes

Sir, you did not see the display by the corrupt officials on the banks of the Thames today. Deplorable.
litre_cola

I received a telegram informing me of such matters earlier today. We hear so much about prejudice and discrimination in today’s world, but everyone seems to overlook it when it happens to the Whites!
Cecil Rhodes

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THIS RUSSIAN TEAM, I CALL THEM CATHOLIC PARENTS, BECAUSE THEY’VE WAITED TOO LONG TO PULL OUT AND IT’S ABOUT TO COST THEM DEARLY.
Horatio Cornblower

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I’ve laughed more in two minutes of Benny Hill than I have in all today’s comedies I’ve seen in the past two years.
Redshirt

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I’m rewatching “Con Air” and after further review, I’m noticing several flaws by the guards.

1.) A fire suddenly appears (which should raise red flags right there!), and they don’t have someone guard the prisoners they are unshackling. True, a fire in a plane is serious business but so is leaving at least one felon prisoner unguarded.

2.) They open the middle gate but don’t relock it. My job’s security doors sound an alarm if it detects a briefcase going behind someone or if a door isn’t held open for longer than three seconds. My job has better security than that prison transport. True at that point, the guards back there will probably be killed, but you still have the plane.

3.) The pilots open the cockpit door to check it out the disturbance. What we’re they planning to do that the half a dozen guards aren’t capable of doing? Under Siege 3: This Time’s the Cook is a Pilot?! Like 2, at that point all the guards back there will probably be killed, but they still don’t control the plane. There is a chance the guards may have keys to the cockpit (not sure why they would need it, unless both the pilot and co-pilot both had the fish for dinner), but if the prisoners are trying to open the door, the pilots can easily go into a nose dive or a rapid ascent to discombobulate them.

4.) How do the pilots and the control tower not have a Duress Code. My old job had a Duress Code and it was a freaking warehouse that held cardboard boxes and packaging material. This plane has a bunch of felons from a Maximum Security Prison with nothing to lose and they haven’t thought of a scenario of a plane of highly dangerous felons capturing the plane? (Actually in the movie they didn’t, which should mean John Cusack’s character would be fired by the time the end credits have reached the Second Unit.) Someone like in Star Trek: “Condition Green. All’s well.” Those words sound good, but what it really means is “We’ve been taken hostage. Don’t trust anything anyone says down here.”

On the other hand:
Cyrus the Virus’s only hope for his master plan succeeding was for the pilots to open the cockpit door after unlocking the gun. Even if he does open the door, he doesn’t have the combination to the lockbox holding the gun. Before he got the gun, the guards had his two prisoners secured and was most likely about to rush Cyrus. Without the gun, those guards are tasering Cyrus’s ass, and there is a decent chance the head guard may “accidently” throw him out the back of the plane for killing at least one of his men.

tl;dr I miss sports. I really, really do.
Redshirt

You have invested for more consideration into the Con Air plot than the Con Air writers ever did.
SonOfSpam

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Has the dunk competition always been this boring?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Guess which DFO favourite just won gold?

ballsofsteelandfury

Gumbygirl?

Can we tell anyone?
Horatio Cornblower

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Found a funny;

Her: Do you even know what a Clitoris is?

Me: Look I never played Pokémon but I’m willing to learn.
rockingdog

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Fantastic kickoff to Sunday Gravy! With gifts like that, this 2 Pack could become a real habit.

I’ll see myself out.
Fronkenshteen

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Found a funny;

Me: I know panty hose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
Bank Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, It is
rockingdog

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I don’t know why you all thought that Finland winning the hockey game last night would affect Putin’s decision to invade Ukraine. I have been assured by the International Olympic Committee that the team they beat was not representing Russia.
Dunstan

Look, if you can’t trust the IOC who can you trust?
Horatio Cornblower

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Dude! Well done Buddy. This is a huge reason – for my off season. I’m sure our friends will agree. You are very welcome, my way of showing appreciation and respect for what you have been doing for us. I really appreciate your posts, I know you put a lot of effort into this. I do a variation of the lasagna (pestichia over here, made many ways really, my favorite is with sausage and radicchio) and flat bread but I’m giving yours a try soon. The quiche is now on my list next. Ciao Buddy!
2Pack

That was super cool of you!

Also, I’m super jealous you have that amazing cheese shop so close to you. I’d be there every weekend!
ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo would be a yellow vester outside of there honking the horn of his Dacia in protest.
litre_cola

#OccupyFormaggio
scotchnaut

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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