How I Became “Radicalized” Against the Criminal Justice System

 

Hey there! It’s your old pal Troll-So-Hard University. It’s been a while since I’ve been active here, but I’m back.  I’m still figuring out what to do with this slot, but I’m going to start by reprinting some blogs that I wrote and published a couple of years ago in the aftermath of the killing of George Floyd. These blogs are about my experiences navigating the abject cruelties of the criminal justice system when I worked in a criminal defense clinic during my third-year of law school. I’m republishing lightly edited versions of these blogs here while I begin writing some new ones. At some point in the future, I may turn this is into a mailbag, so hit me up in the comments or on Twitter if you have any legal questions (don’t worry if they’re dumb – those are my favorites and I’ll keep them anonymous). 

During my third year of law school, one of my courses was a criminal defense clinic, where I represented misdemeanor defendants in Bronx Criminal Court under a student practice order under the supervision of our professor and an incredible organization called the Bronx Defenders. Before this clinic, I had always been under the impression that most police were good, some police were bad, but mostly if you leave them alone and mind your own business, nothing bad would happen to you. And in my personal experience, I was right. I was/am an educated white guy, the product of an upper middle class upbringing, and the child of a municipal judge. Other than a couple of traffic stops and being gently searched because a fight broke out at a party I was attending, I’ve had no serious problems with police.

I became what many people would call “radicalized” against the criminal justice system while working in this clinic. It’s a testament to just exactly how far off the rails our system has gone that my beliefs are considered radical at all, since I believe in things like robust 4th Amendment protections, where searches and seizures are done pursuant to a warrant or actual probable cause and/or reasonable suspicion based on articulable facts; that those who are entrusted with the awesome responsibility of enforcing our laws should be accountable to those same laws, that there should be consequences for failing to do so; that police should be trained to use violence only as a last resort and to the least lethal extent possible given the circumstance; and that District Attorneys have a responsibility to promote justice, not win cases. These are considered radical beliefs by many people.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll share some stories about that time in the clinic. These stories are based on notes, memoranda, and filings that I saved from that time, as well as my own recollection. It’s my hope that these stories will shed some light on how upside down our criminal justice system has become and how these issues feed into the deep anger that marginalized communities feel towards the police and the criminal justice system. Names and other identifying information have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

My first day in court, I was in the arraignment part, where defendants are brought before judges for the first time after being arrested. It was the Tuesday after Labor Day, 2009, and because it was after a holiday weekend, the holding cells were way overfilled and the part was much busier than usual. Some people had been locked up since the previous Thursday night despite Supreme Court precedent that defendants must make an initial appearance before a judge within 48 hours of arrest. And since this was holding, there was no shower, no change of clothes, no beds. Just an occasional sandwich and a toilet that had be used in front of dozens of other people if you couldn’t hold it in.

Our professor gathered us and gave us a stack of folders to peruse. The first one I saw had a young man accused of trespassing (I’ll go into more about trespassing in NYC another day because it’s a deeply fucked up issue). The criminal complaint stated that he was caught trespassing “on the corner of East 180th Street and Grand Concourse.” You don’t need to be Hulk Hogan’s learned counsel to realize that there’s no way in hell that someone could trespass on a public street corner. Trespassing against property involves being somewhere where the defendant had no right to be and everyone has the right to be on a street corner. One of my classmates made this argument, and the judge dismissed the charge.

Anyone familiar with the criminal justice system however, is probably chomping at the bit because that complaint should never have gotten in front of a judge in the first place. The arresting officer had to sit with an assistant district attorney and draft the complaint. Criminal complaints must allege non-hearsay factual assertions that if true, meet every element of the crime accused. Since one cannot trespass on a public way, the ADA (whose job it is to make sure that every complaint meets this standard) signed off on a criminal complaint that alleged no criminal activity. Think about that for a second because it’s important. That police officer signed a document under penalty of perjury that criminal conduct had occurred where it was plainly obvious from the text of that document that no criminal conduct had occurred. The officer blatantly perjured himself and the District Attorney’s office not only condoned it, but vigorously pursued the charge against the defendant.

No discipline was handed out to the arresting officer or the ADA who drafted the complaint (and even continued to argue that the charge should not be dismissed despite the fact that they didn’t even allege criminal activity). Even though the judge dismissed the charge, the young man had been handcuffed for several hours while riding around in a police van until it was filled with “suspects”, and then taken to holding, where he spent three days in jail for nothing. To top it off, it is nearly impossible to successfully sue the police department or district attorney for false arrest, false imprisonment, malicious prosecution, etc. if the charges are dismissed at arraignment. There is no recourse to this conduct. These types of interactions with police and with the criminal justice system are extraordinarily commonplace and they breed resentment.

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trollsoharduniversity
Attorney, Funnyman, Dick-Joke Artist. One day I may refuse to save your life.
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[…] have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. You can read previous posts here, here, here, here, here, here, […]

[…] have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. You can read previous posts here, here, here, here, here, and […]

[…] During my third year of law school, one of my courses was a criminal defense clinic, where I represented misdemeanor defendants in Bronx Criminal Court under a student practice order under the supervision of our professor and an incredible organization called the Bronx Defenders. I am sharing some stories about that time. These stories are based on notes, memoranda, and filings that I saved from that time, as well as my own recollection. Names and other identifying information have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. You can read previous posts here, here, here, here and here. […]

[…] have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. You can read previous posts here, here, here, […]

[…] During my third year of law school, one of my courses was a criminal defense clinic, where I represented misdemeanor defendants in Bronx Criminal Court under a student practice order under the supervision of our professor and an incredible organization called the Bronx Defenders. I am sharing some stories about that time. These stories are based on notes, memoranda, and filings that I saved from that time, as well as my own recollection. Names and other identifying information have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. You can read previous posts here. […]

scotchnaut

It’s July so of course I’ve got an Xmas movie on. Btw, shoutout to the (I assume) lecherous casting director because despite all the sweaters being worn, this could very easily be called A Very Busty Christmas.

WCS

Paging Balls for a 25 Questions…

King Hippo

He’s a little behind, ironic given his love of that Ms. Bumbum competition!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why not “Christmas or Bust”?

scotchnaut

Strictly speaking, this is not an either/or situation-it’s Christmas and the three female leads are busty and embracing said Christmas.

SonOfSpam

Milf on the Shilf

Baby It’s Cold Outside (I Can Tell Thanks To Your Tight Sweater)

God – Breasts! Ye Merry Gentlemen

scotchnaut

Nipple Navidad

Jingle Boobs

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Cleavage

All I Want For Christmas Is A Motorboat

King Hippo

Not that anyone expected the passion and intensity of the SheBelieves Cup…but DUE BETTER, European Euros 2022.

King Hippo

These Valkyries can’t defend for shit. Too bad, because FUCK ENGLAND.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

even though they literally have a mode called “guardian” smh

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King Hippo

I can’t decide which end of this deal is more PauledUp.

WCS

Both. The answer is both.

LemonJello

Baker and Touch of Downs in the same QB room? Get Hard Knocks on the line, now!

JimU

Does this mean that the Browns think Mr. BadTouch is getting a light sentence from the shield?

BeefReeferLives

“We want to thank Baker for all his contributions to the Cleveland Browns,” owners Dee and Jimmy Haslam said in a statement. “From the moment he was drafted, he gave his all for this organization and this city. With his fierce competitive spirit, he excited the fanbase and accomplished things that no player at his position had done in Cleveland for a very long time… So, being The Cleveland Browns, we played him when he was obviously injured, replaced him with a man accused by over 24 different women of sexual assault, and threw him away like he was used toilet paper for practically nothing in return”

King Hippo

European Euros (de feminina) time WOO!!!!

TheRevanchist

Put all your money on the Swedish Bikini Team.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[fishes through pockets]

[hand emerges holding only two quarters]

[smiles]

Brick Meathook
yeah right

While he’s far from perfect this was a pretty damn good letter from our Guvnor:

“One of the reasons I wanted to run an ad in Florida on Independence Day is because we cannot allow Ron DeSantis and the Republican Party to own the word “freedom” in the political debate.
We’re going to fight to reclaim that word.
Because true freedom means you can afford to go to a doctor without going bankrupt.
True freedom means you can spend time with your newborn child instead of being rushed back to work days later.
True freedom means you can go to a movie, a parade, a church or an elementary school without fear of getting shot.
True freedom is a woman and her doctor making the health care decisions she needs.
True freedom means being able to love the person you love without fear of discrimination.
True freedom means you don’t have to choose between the cost of putting food on the table and the medicine you need to live.
True freedom means being able to go into a library and not wonder which books have been banned recently.
True freedom means graduating college and being able to pursue a career of your choice without the burden of a life’s worth of debt.
True freedom means living life without the fear that large portions of the planet will be uninhabitable for future generations.
The DeSantis vision of freedom is a fraud. It’s a vision where people were free to get COVID and give it to whoever they want; it’s a vision where people are free to carry guns everywhere and everyone has to live in fear of getting shot; it’s a vision where the wealthy and powerful have the freedom to dictate their terms to everyone else.
So no, we are not going to let them own the word freedom going forward. We’re taking it back.
That’s why we ran that ad.
All my best,
Gavin”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like that very much.

Gumbygirl

I like him. Speaking of Gavin…

FU6ZITqWUAY_ytx.jpeg
WCS

Who needs that when you’ve got

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TheRevanchist

As much as I hate Baker Mayfield, him being traded for just a 5th round pick is hilarious to me, since the Browns will have their 3rd string as their opening day QB.

SonOfSpam

So the Panthers have a first overall pick and a third overall pick in the QB room? Damn, they’re gonna rule this year!

Gumbygirl

Browns gonna Brown!

scotchnaut

They should really get rid of that Botch-a-Matic 3000 Decision Maker that Art Modell bought in the late ’80’s.

Last edited 2 years ago by scotchnaut
Redshirt

Serving on a Grand Jury opened my eyes a bit. While its nice that all felonies in Ohio have to be indicted by a Grand Jury, even if its obvious of the guilt (one defendant even testified before us admitting their guilt), it can get tiresome.

We had a case where a young girl was abused and you could see the pain in her eyes, and the county prosecutor admitting he was using this as practice for testifying in the Jury Trial, despite all evidence proving guilt. While its nice getting her comfortable telling her story and the Grand Jury was reassuring her, too, my heart did break for her.

Another was a drug bust where 50 cases was literally the same thing with the same words and obvious guilt. The prosecutor said it had to go in order so he could show conspiracy to shut down the apartment complex that was promoting the drug use, but hearing the same wordage over and over got tiring quickly.

My biggest issue was its leaned completely slanted against the accused. One person was accused of taking money away from a cash register. This is a quasi-literal transcript from the testimony:

Me: “Do you have any proof she took the money?”
Owner: “The Register was short.”
Me: “Who counted the register before?”
Owner: “I did.”
Me: “Did anyone verify the count?”
Owner: “No.”
Me: “Do you have a security camera watching the register?”
Owner: “It was broken.”
Me: “You should probably get that fixed. What proof do you have that she took the money?”
Owner: “She stole the money!”
Prosecutor: “I think we’re getting off track.”

I was outvoted and she was indicted for Theft. Karma did hit the owner though; the restaurant went out of business within a year. I’m sure that’s comfort to the person who has a charge on her record, and most likely a conviction.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
blaxabbath

There’s a guy running for AG (I think — I just saw the commercial on when I was leaving this morning) whose plan is to post No Tresspassing signs all over the place (public and private land) so they’ll have an excuse to round up the cartels crossing through AZ.

Did wonders for ask those uppity negros in NYC so why wouldn’t it Keep Arizona White Again?

Gumbygirl

.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That movie was a classic but the remake is even better.

MV5BYmYyMTQ4OGQtMjU2Mi00MTUyLWI3Y2EtYjI3OWFkMWQ0ZjIwXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODY0NzcxNw@@._V1_.jpg
blaxabbath

.

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blaxabbath

As someone who promises to hang every single jury I am ever seated for, I believe that, once again, the solution to lawyers is the unwashed masses.

Gumbygirl

I have been registered to vote my entire adult life, and not once have I been called for jury duty. But if I am, hooboy, here is a solid plan!

blaxabbath

Lawyers make $300/hr in court. Judges get theirs. And neither will ever be selected to sit on a jury for $4.17/day.

I’m more important than any of them and laws are not fairly wrotten or applied. So they can all just figure out how to give the illusion of justice without me

litre_cola

Tell them you take a lot of LSD, boom, gone. Worked for me in my twenties.

Horatio Cornblower

Our criminal clinic was nowhere near as intense/worthwhile, but I did successfully argue to get a girl out of a shoplifting charge.

Which I am 100% convinced she was guilty of.

blaxabbath

“Please enter my email for your newsletter. It’s [email protected]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That wasn’t a girl, it was Jameis Winston in a wig.

SonOfSpam

Hey, just cuz the defendant gave him crabs afterwards…

Horatio Cornblower

Both of you can go straight to hell, how about that?

SonOfSpam

Already got my flight booked (it’s on Spirit of course)

Gumbygirl

They’ve already sent your luggage to Wichita.

Don T

Still remember the first time a witness committed real live perjury, in front of a jury during a trial. The judge’s shrug was colossal.

BeefReeferLives

Can’t wait. Thanks for this, TSHU. Appreciated and looking forward to the next installment.

https://bostonreview.net/articles/blue-lies-matter/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TSHU is writing again?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The “cops can do nearly whatever they want with impunity” thing is the second biggest problem with our criminal justice system.

Game Time Decision

The first rule being “we don’t talk about our criminal justice system?”

Horatio Cornblower

If you say the first is “those goddamn defense attorneys” so help me god….

LemonJello

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The first is racism, but your guilty conscience speaks loudly

yeah right

You can add right wing evangelicals to the list if we’re keeping a list.

Gumbygirl

And the for-profit prison industrial complex.

Horatio Cornblower

Pretty sure racism is heavily tied up in the thing about cops.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And prosecutors and judges and juries and parole boards and and and