Sexy Friday – Labor Day Weekend 2022

We are still going with abbreviated versions of Sexy Friday. Things are crazy, but falling into place. I feel a little bit like Kyle Busch. NASCAR fans will understand what I’m getting at.

To recap for those of you that don’t watch cars turning left, Kyle Busch is a two time Cup series champion and has been a polarizing driver. Many fans love him but a lot hate him. However, no one denies he is one of the best drivers in NASCAR.

He currently drives the #18 car that is sponsored by Mars, the candy company. Mars has decided to no longer invest money in sponsoring NASCAR and Kyle’s contract is up at the end of this year (those two things are definitely related).

So, Kyle’s contract has not been renewed yet and he has been scrambling all season to figure out his future. Adding to that, Kyle owns and runs a successful team in the Trucks series employing scores of employees. The future of that team is also at stake.

Every week at every race track, Kyle is asked about his future and he has to delicately handle that topic so as to not piss anyone off. He’s got a lot of balls in the air and he can’t afford to let any drop.

In my situation, I’ve got several balls in the air too. I can’t really go into detail, but I’ve got people depending on me both professionally and personally. It has not been easy.

On the bright side for both of us, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not a train. Kyle announced this week that a resolution may come within a week or so. He indicated his position as a driver would be “the first domino to fall” and the other things would get resolved following that. For me, the first domino fell this week when I was offered and accepted a promotion at work. There are still other dominoes that need to follow, but that first one will help the others go through in, hopefully, the best way possible.

That’s not to say that everything is smooth sailing. Far from it. I was told in my final interview that people said they would rather retire than have me as their boss.

Which I found hilarious but I couldn’t really laugh during the interview, could I?

So, your friendly neighborhood tyrant boss Balls is embarking on a new adventure on the high seas with plenty of sharks in the water and a new crew of shipmates.

Tonight, we have hot AFL action as the Geelong Cats take on the Collingwood Magpies in a Qualifying Final. Loser is not eliminated from finals but plays next week against the winner of tonight’s Elimination Final between Fremantle and the Western Bulldogs. The Winner of the Qualifying Finals gets a bye directly into the Preliminary Final.

Tonight’s AFLW games are:

Richmond Tigers v Adelaide Crows at 6:40 Pacific.

Port Adelaide v Western Bulldogs at 8:40 Pacific.

Fremantle Dockers v Geelong Cats at 8:40 Pacific

There is also HOT CFL action as the Ottawa REDBLACKS are currently playing the Montréal Alouettes.

In Sexy Mexy Liga MX action, Necaxa take on León and later on Juárez will host Cruz Azul.

No videos today as I’ve not had time to prepare them. However, I did have some fun pics for ya. Enjoy!

Type away!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Fronkenshteen

N’yello. Just got done Ubering JMU kids to and from their drunken fuckarounds. Definitely won’t be awake for hippo’s toffees at 7:30. Might not be awake for the start of Chelsea v Hammers at 10. I’d love to see Moyes go 4-4-2. Coufal, Ogbonna, Kehrer, Johnson across the back. Benrahma, Rice, Paqueta, Emerson across midfield. Scamacca and Cornet up top. Areola in goal. Let’s all enjoy how wrong I am about THAT shit.

Doktor Zymm

I forgot how much of Fantasia was just an Italian orchestra. It’s good. I wish more films were like this.

Doktor Zymm
Brick Meathook

I’m watching the new Elvis movie and Good God. How do you fuck up the story of Elvis Presley? You put it in the hands of a hack like Baz Luhrman, who should be limited to making cosmetics commercials aimed at teenage girls.

Doktor Zymm

I like Nena Hagen. I hate my job. I like cheese and wine. I would happily strangle Putin with my own two hands. The horse I ride has a fuzzy belly because his winter coat is coming in and it’s adorable even while impractical because heat. One third of Pakistan is under water in a superflood. Black sesame is pretty tasty.

yeah right

Family update: nephew who was secondary coach and TE coach of the Reedley fucking Tigers! Decided to advance his agenda.

He moved his entire family from the California central valley to…

East Peoria Illinois. That’s right.
His job is offensive coordinator of a high school team that has lost 28 games prior to his arrival.
Their first game, last week, they lost 56-0.

Making then 0-29. They haven’t won a game since 2018.

Not a single starter on their team had won a game.

They won tonight 32-26.

That had to be one hell of a happy, yet very smelly bus ride from Aurora to Peoria.

They fucking won their first game in 4 years.

Good on ya nephew. Good on ya!

Doktor Zymm

I read the biography of the guy who invented the Air Raid offense. It had stuff like this in it. To be clear, I suck at writing biographies, so I’m not volunteering to write one for your nephew, but seems like someone will!

Doktor Zymm

This man was the police chief in Chernobyl when the crisis happened. The guy with him is a good kid who lives in Arizona. The man in the back has joined the Ukrainian Defense Forces and I don’t know how he’s doing. Fuck Putin. Fuck Russia. Fuck complacency.

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2Pack

Well done Balls & Ayo. My drive home from vaca today will have boobs on my mind.
/ awaits wife’s obvious question on the open road, halfway home… “what are you thinking about”
// begins preparing his more thoughtful response because the truth gets him a punch in the arm

Doktor Zymm

The helium shortage -> balloons -> boobs

Gumbygirl

Raise a glass. Legend!

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yeah right

Legend!

Col. Duke LaCross

Ahh, the late 90’s. Where you couldn’t throw a rock without hitting an ethically challenged plastic surgeon in the San Fernando Valley.

WCS

/a wild Dr. David Chao appears

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
Doktor Zymm

It wasn’t that small of a window, it was like 20+ years. And I’m not sorry I missed it. Fuck them. I fucking love railroads, and yeah, I won’t be on the Trans-Siberian in my lifetime unless Putin dies choking on his own poison cum and takes the rest of the oligarchs with him, but if I manage to ride it when I’m old as fuck and Russia has another chance, then good. Fuck Putin.

Doktor Zymm

Ditto. Supposedly it’s great for NYE, the canals are frozen and everyone is out. It’s heritage. But again, fuck them. They’re doing history again and fuck. them.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe they’ll blow up Zaporizhzhia just like they blew up Chernobyl. In a way, Chernobyl was the real end of the USSR. There was always a split between Ukraine and Russia, but Ukraine voting 93% to leave in 1991 was the end of the USSR, and that was because of Chernobyl. Russia needs Ukraine, Ukraine does not need Russia. It breaks my heart that places I’ve been are now in Russian hands, but people who have faced hell aren’t going to give in to childish assholes easily.

rockingdog

Boom! Profar with the 3 run HR
Padres now up 7-0 vs Dodgers!!!
That’s Rockingggg!!!

TheRevanchist

The Notre Dame vs Ohio State game is going to be insufferable to hear about. We are all losers when it comes to that game.

Doktor Zymm

FILL YOUR PICKUP WITH HOTDOGS!

TheRevanchist

Maybe there was cocaine in the Campari.

Doktor Zymm

Act like a turkey.

WCS

That seems like an idiotic prize given away by an equally idiotic Morning Drive radio show.

“C’mon down to the Metro Center and with us, Stevie and the Donkey Puncher, to enter our sweepstakes for a BRAND NEW Ford F250 with a bed full of 10000 Nathan’s Hotdogs!”

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
Mr. Ayo

Dammit, now I’m hungry.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve got some really old Campari. It still makes a decent Negroni but weirdly enough it smell like cocaine

WCS

And NOW we know how Dok can travel such great distances so often on little-to-no sleep, while simultaneously running a lair under a volcano.

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Doktor Zymm

I wish, those cartels are obnoxious to bargain with. If anyone knows where to get a 12 inch frog that plays piano, let me know.

rockingdog

Padres vs Dodgers tonight ⚾️
Padres up 4-0 early
That’s Rocking!

rockingdog

Found a funny;

me: when u walk thru a doorway ur mind resets to take in new information causing u to forget what u came for in the first place. it’s called the “doorway effect”

archduke franz ferdinand: so you dont remember why you time traveled here

me: i do think it was probably important

herodotus450

“Oh now I rememeber, it was to murder you! To prevent the rise of Mecha-Hitler!”

WCS

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Just hit him with the chaingun for a while, and he’ll drop. Or, rather, melt.

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
Gumbygirl

That was Wolfenstein, right? My kid played that.

WCS

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Brick Meathook

Trial by Fire: A Carrier Fights for Life (1973) is an 18 minute documentary that became required viewing for all recruits in the United States Navy and Coast Guard, from 1973 to the present. I saw it in boot camp and it made a big impression. I saw it again for the first time recently and was impressed by how well made it is.

It describes the events of a catastrophic fire on the deck of the aircraft carrier USS Forrestal in 1967, during the height of the Vietnam War. The further story of the event (beyond the scope of the film) is pretty intense; there was a lot going on there.

I majored in documentary filmmaking in college (which naturally led to a career in VFX) and I can tell you that this is one of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen. The film is terse and to the point. If you’ve got 18 minutes it’s well worth it; the narrative is very compelling.

Watch the first three minutes and you probably won’t stop. The first explosion (at around five minutes) is chilling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6NnfRT_OZA

BC Dick

Learn or burn, baby.

WCS

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TheRevanchist

Doctor: So daughter has strep throat. Anyone else in the house felt it?

Me: a little sore throat last night, but tequila cleared that right up for me

Doctor: if you get worse, just get some antibiotics. Luckily, worse in kids. No fever either of you?

Me: nope

SpongeBob narrator’s voice: 4 hours later

Me: Fuck, I’m burning up and so is my throat.

Now to stay the hell away from the wife until I can see a dr. Fudge me.

herodotus450

I’d go with something like “not the first time my sperm has caused an irritated throat, eh?” to the wife.

TheRevanchist

Back in college had a girlfriend who caught strep throat. Might have shared that story. Strep dick is something you don’t want to fuck with.

Gumbygirl

.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d rather buy something from Harvey Korman

Mr. Ayo

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to have a hard time remembering the name Ajla Tomljanovic as a trivia answer.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Samesies. She played great and I look forward to never watching her play again.

herodotus450

Nancy Zerg

Mr. Ayo

NERD!!!!

BugEyedBoo

KenJen got Zerged!

Game Time Decision

Funny to hear penalty calls from the ref in both languages

King Hippo

Have y’all noticed that even terrible JV or original recipe NFL…is better than “good” anything else on this God forsaken planet?

Doktor Zymm

Durian: Not worth it

Senor Weaselo

Senorita Weaselo loves durian. I… do not.

Doktor Zymm

It’s fine. Not good, but fine.

Senor Weaselo

Her mom is taking us to honest to goodness dim sum tomorrow morning in Sunset Park. She’s already said she’s getting snow durian.

King Hippo

How is there a delay in Buffs/Bloodeyes? My kid tells me it never even RAINS in Boulder??

Mr. Ayo

Looks like it’s time for Serena to evolve.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I bought bitters today to leave at my in-laws’ just so I could make Sharkbait’s cocktail of the week tonight.

Doktor Zymm

Also I like the idea of a bitters fairy, that just charitably leaves bitters in places they may be needed

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There are two (2) bottles of peychauds bitters here and no other bitters. I know I bought them one so who the fuck bought the other one (and no angostura)?

Doktor Zymm

I think the theory of spontaneous creation applies to bitters, even if it doesn’t apply to life forms

King Hippo

a “science” museum in Kentucky gasps audibly

Mr. Ayo

You’re quite the high functioning alcoholic!

Meanwhile I’m out of vodka before 7pm.

King Hippo

Don’t blame ME, I was just rummaging in your medicine cabinet!

/need a visitoUrs supply in case Scotchnaut ever visits now

Mr. Ayo

Oh shit, there’s vodka delivery service.

Life changer!

King Hippo

aka The Russian Army

Mr. Ayo

Thank goodness I’m not Ukraine. This Russian Army has fully delivered!

Doktor Zymm

Welcome to 2014 in civilized places!

Doktor Zymm

Nerd point: A trebuchet is a type of catapult

herodotus450

In this house we ONLY use torsion powered projectile launchers!!!!

Senor Weaselo

In physics we were supposed to make a paper trebuchet. The string length was five types of fucked though (too long, tied not long enough) so it was inaccurate. We said fuck it, stuck the basket at the end of the arm, called it a catapult, and called it a day.

Brick Meathook

Kitten Natividad (the Russ Meyer big-tit ultravixen) once appeared in a burlesque show at The Liquid Kitty, a retro martini bar in West Los Angeles. There was no stage, she and the other dancers just did their thing on the floor in the center of the room while a trio played Link Wray instrumentals. They wore see-through negligees but there was no stripping. Kitten Natividad (the Russ Meyer big-tit ultravixen) came right up to me, took my hand and held my arm out palm up, and dropped her tit right into my hand. That fuckin’ thing weighed ten pounds.

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Horatio Cornblower

I can’t remember the name now but there was some semi-famous stripper with HUGE fake knockers who got sued for giving a patron a concussion when she turned around and smacked him in the head with one of them.

Now there’s a deposition I would have loved.

Doktor Zymm

Ah, so fake boobs ARE capable of causing concussion! Once I sober up I gotta calculate the physics on this.

Doktor Zymm

Yep, boobs be heavy!

King Hippo

They really do seem like they’d be a real pain in the ass to have on ya all the time.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, you don’t notice, or rather you position them comfortably and go, just like you probably don’t notice that you have a bunch of stuff hanging around that seems like it would make zipping pants really annoying

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else watching this match?

Mr. Ayo

Nope, you’re the only one.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m watching the Yankees continue their efforts to get Boone fired.

Efforts I fully support.

Mr. Ayo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Me.

Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

“tossed around and treated worse than a woman in a Tyler Perry film.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else shocked and disappointed that Balls didn’t do hot pregnant women in honor of labor(u)r day?

Doktor Zymm

There will be a good crop of those soon now that a lot of states have the forced birthing thing going on

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Doktor Zymm

What’s she reading?

Mr. Ayo

It appears to be a book. Though her gaze doesn’t seem to be helping that endeavoUr.

Horatio Cornblower

Must be Lea Michele.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

She is not missing deadlift or squat day(s)

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

/Bigfoot, waving his arms wildly just off the shot to the left

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Mr. Ayo

This is great.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

I certainly hope that’s a deconsecrated church

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

/Rex Reed has entered the chat

Horatio Cornblower

That’s actually pretty funny. Score one for autocorrect.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

Honestly more interested in the truck.

Mostly because my wife won’t murder me if I bring the truck home.

Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

2/10, way too much wine in that glass. What are we, Philistines?

Mr. Ayo

I was hoping litre would add his tasting notes on this variety.

Mr. Ayo

And these you have to work for because internet dad is a prude.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Russell Wilson skipping out on preseason games to watch the U.S. Open.

Doktor Zymm

Super curious, I know dudes have different opinions on fake boobs, and on the appearances front I would say that fakes of the same size as natural do look better, cause they never sag, but beyond that my questions are:
a) The really obviously huge fake ones, I wanna look cause of novelty value, but is that actually hot?
b) Texture: It’s (I think) well known that fake boobs are less squishy and harder than natural boobs. I can see a couple situations where this might provide some difficulty (e.g. tittyfucking, seated gal on top boobs in face) so what’s the equilibrium boob size there? I.e. what’s the smallest natural size that would be preferred over an arbitrarily large implanted size?

Mr. Ayo

Any naturals > any fakes

I don’t think fakes look better. If that was attractive I’d have a closet full of real dolls.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t know enough about bolt-ons to know if they could cause a concussion, but I’m guessing most guys would be okay with that sort of head injury

Horatio Cornblower

You know we’re gonna have to see the video, right?

herodotus450

Answer: Boobs

TheRevanchist

To answer this: boobs are like snowflakes. Each one is unique and special in its own way. And that is only part of the answer. Though they are enjoyable on many levels, the person they are attached to means more than the boobs themselves.

Horatio Cornblower

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m not a fan of huge boobs, even natural. The big fake ones are actually a turn off. The big real ones are great until the owner starts telling you that she really can’t fell what you’re doing, (which, if you’re Darren Sharper, is just another day), and that her lower back pain is becoming crippling.

B’s or C’s and legs for days. That’s for me.

King Hippo

Inshallah

WCS

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WCS

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Griff, Al, or me? And why?

WCS

I’ll be damned. I didn’t think anyone actually saw it.

Horatio Cornblower

Porn star Charisma gets right to the point, doesn’t she?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did I ever tell you about the time I accosted approached Charisma Carpenter in a grocery store parking lot and she was so unsettled captivated that she “accidentally” locked her car keys in her trunk? And then used my phone to call her husband?

And *that’s* how I got Charisma Carpenter’s phone number.

(true story)

Horatio Cornblower

When I was on Jeopardy my wife was on the Universal lot and chased down Neve Campbell to show her our 3-month-old son, reasoning that “everyone loves a baby.”

Ms. Campbell was very nice, pinched my son’s leg while sayin how cute he was, and shockingly didn’t have Mrs. Cornblower arrested and/or shot.

Doktor Zymm

Rick and Morty new season!

Also love that the Juggs lady is holding a jug.

BC Dick

That and, “udder treats”

Don T

Call me a purist, but I prefer porn that does not call me out on masturbating.
ITS A PRIVATE MATTER K!

BC Dick

Agreed. I buy the ass-lovers jerk fest edition for the articles.

Sharkbait

“…embarking on a new adventure on the high seas with plenty of sharks in the water”

Fuck

Don T

Woo hoo! Congratulations BoS! Leadership style, you can’t go wrong with the classics: cut the ballast, motivate the young, build a statue of you.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BALLS: [reading] Cut the ball…

[takes deep breath]

BALLS:…ast. Ah. Phew! Alexa, what’s “ball-assed”?

scotchnaut

“I won’t lie-I’m a little confused about the term ‘Reubenesque’ in this context. Where the hell is the Thousand Island Dressing?”

-A. Reid

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Between the profuse sweating (heat + omicron vaccination) and the gin drinking it’s almost like I have malaria.

Doktor Zymm

Most modern strains of malaria are resistant to quinine, so if you’re drinking gin & tonic that won’t help, but you WILL look awesome with a glowing drink under blacklight

Horatio Cornblower

Counterpoint: Gin and tonic always helps.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MY HANGOVER: It’s true, I’d be nothing without it.