JV NFL Stands Alone (Early Sabado Open Thread)

Despite the calendar disruptions for the Slave LaboUr World Cup, Lesser Footy still works in a stupid window for international friendlies.  BLECH.  Hope y’all slept in.

Clemson (-7) at Wake Forest (Noon, ABC)

Meaningful ACC footy!  Say it ain’t so.  I can’t decide if I want Wake to win (for Atlantic tiebreaker and FUCK DABO reasons), or Son de Clem to take it (so they won’t be pissed off for my Wolven Sort’s visit next week).  Good thing it doesn’t really matter, eh?

Baylor (+2.5) at Iowa State (Noon, ESPN2)

I really enjoy the entropy of the Big 12.  Pretty much anybody could win the League, and pretty much anyone could finish last.  I feel like these two squadrons are perfect examples of that phenomenon.

Duke (+9) at Kansas (Noon, FS1)

Do not adjust your sets.  These are both 3-0, and it’s not Battle FOAR Atlantis hoopsball.  Kansas’ bandwagon is pretty full by now, though.  This spread is pretty big.

Florida (+11) at Tennessee (3:30, CBS)

Absolutely no way, no how, should the Vols be double digit faves here.  UF has owned them, despite recent hiccups.  Expect a shootout, and a close finish.

Oregon (-6.5) at Washington State (4:00, Fox)

I am buying shares of Wazzu.  Quack Attack is walking into a minefield here.  And you KNOW what (alternate) photo you gon’ get.

5 2 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
122 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Gumbygirl

Ugh, my SIL’s poor old cancer cat is constantly starving. As soon as he eats, he runs to the litter box and shits out the most foul smelling bowel barf ever. It’s so fucking sad. She won’t put him down, because it would “upset the kids.” Who are 19 years old today. Fuck. It pisses us off, but it’s not our cat. I would never let an animal suffer like that. She claims the vet says he’s not in pain, but this poor skinny old guy is clearly miserable.

Doktor Zymm

Slip her a bunch of laxatives and beans and see how she likes it

blaxabbath

It’s hard to let go. No one likes suffering but, hey, they property.

Brocky

Okay I’m not a vet but someone in my immediate family is….

Have they tried giving it the science diet “anti-puke” stuff? A few years ago I thought my grandmas old dog wasn’t gonna make it with similar symptoms, we got some of what was described as “super bland stuff” and the dog were able to gradually go back to the regular stuff and lived another two years

yeah right

On the weather front, go Ian go!

You can get bigger and stronger! You’re doing the Lord’s work! Build damn you build!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Normally I’d discourage this sort of sentiment but I realize the current forecast is for Ian to head straight for Tom Brady, so…

Gumbygirl

Wow, Sparty getting spanked by the Gophers! I just got to Riverside to babysit my father in law. Gumby is at home puking. Good times!

Brocky

“God damn it Indiana!”

-Me in 1988, 1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, 2012, 2016, and 2020

yeah right

This time of the year can be frustrating.

I cook like it’s winter outside and it’s pretty fucking far from winter.

Nothing like breaking a sweat mid meal.

Gumbygirl

It’s 2 degrees warmer here than it was in Desert Hot Springs. I might go hurl myself in the pool.

yeah right

Holy shit would I love access to a convenient pool right now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re making pork tenderloin tonight featuring secret Korean spices.

blaxabbath

Also known as “Top Secret American Spices sold to the North Koreans”.

herodotus450

2000 Heisman Finalists: Drew Brees, Ladanian Tomlinson, Josh Heupel, Chris Weinke. All the proof you need to know that the trophy is and always has been a joke.

scotchnaut

De’Zhaun Stribling managed to escape a certain Key and Peele sketch and almost scored a TD for Cougars just now.

Doktor Zymm

Got some eggs fresh out from under the chicken so swung by the grocery and am now eating brioche french toast with blueberries and goat cheese scrambled into the remaining french toast mix. Also picked up a decent dry rose and cracked open an ice cold sparkling water. I am a happy camper!

WCS

comment image

Gumbygirl

Oh hell yeah. I had a neighbor behind me who kept chickens. Those eggs are the best. The yolks were orange, gorgeous!

WCS

Why does it seem like he’s been playing college football since the first Bush Administration?

yeah right

Watching the AFL Grand Final.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah.

yeah right

Um. Flashbacks to last year.

Mr. Ayo

The U: Not back!

WCS

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
scotchnaut

I snorted a bit when the announcer said, “this is the dickety-doo time that Oregon and Washington State have met!”. Yeah, but it’s a West Coast rivalry-it doesn’t mean anything.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m at Target. I’ve made a tiny huge mistake.

Dunstan

“I know the feeling.” — Deanna Favre

TheRevanchist

My Target has milf eye candy. I went this morning and a hottie had on short shorts with the ass cheeks hanging out. I didn’t find what I was looking for, but, in a way, that was still a wonderful trip.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t find what I was looking for,

Didn’t you, though?

scotchnaut

He found two things he was looking for.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve made a tiny…mistake.

[frowns] – Doug Martin

TheRevanchist

Wake Forest deserves to lose. That was some shitty play calling at the end of the game.

Gumbygirl

Lookit those Demon Deacons!

WCS

Loogitem blow it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Boy, Clemson’s secondary really is as bad as they say.

Senor Weaselo

JD, gotta make that play for the Triple Crown. Also because then Verdugo singled to tie the game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuckin’ sweet, they’re gonna split-screen this game DURING OVERTIME.

Dunstan

Look, I’m not just going to lie around and nap and watch sports like the rest of you, I’m going to get some important shit done.

Time to go to the liquor store.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Pfft. You can’t take a nap at the liquor store.” – Justin Blackmon

WCS

Seems like a challenge for Jim Lahey!

herodotus450

more like Woke Forest amirit?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Holy shit that’s not an *actual* brick wall, is it?

Mr. Ayo

And here I thought Auburn’s hedges were a bad idea.

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, trim those hedges!”- tWBS, attending a seance hosted by the Auburn cheerleading squad

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hoo boy, people watching the Clemson-Wake Forest game will NOT be happy about them split-screening things with the Judge at-bat (in which he walked).

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, my twitter feed is a tire fire over this.

Mr. Ayo

I mean, more than usual obviously.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A one-score game in the 4th quarter (soon to be tied, probably) and they have PROMISED that they will be cutting away again.

Mr. Ayo

This is going to be an all time blunder on the level of the Heidi debacle.

2Pack

It is irritating

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s pretty impressive throw off the one leg by the Clemson quarterback.

scotchnaut

Those Tagovailoa boys do love to throw the 50/50 jump ball when they’re under pressure.

scotchnaut

Wakey, wakey, Clemson.

WCS

This is the last time Son of Clem has trailed in a regular season game since November against… UConn (!!!??!)

Congrats, Horatio!

comment image

2Pack

Got drug shopping because “SALE” so 250 euros light but finally laid up and happy watching Clemson – Wake Forest. Ran into this thought figured at least Yeah Right and the Sunday Gravey crew would appreciate.

IMG_20220924_103754.jpg
Gumbygirl

I was just thinking I have way too much kitchen stuff, and then I saw this. I WANT IT!!! Two person household, and I think I need a deli meat slicer. It’s a problem!

yeah right

I would definitely take the cast iron Dutch oven.

Gumbygirl

I have the one Gumby’s Grandma gave me 40 years ago.

Mr. Ayo

Who hates their finger tips?

scotchnaut

Good Lord-the Leafs/Senators split squad game is being shown on three different channels here.

Game Time Decision

Just 3?

Winner of the game, wins the cup, right?

scotchnaut

If Toronto wins, they win the Cup. If the Sens win, it was just a stupid exhibition game that means nothing.

Dunstan

It’s been fun watching the Leafs media and fans go from “planning the parade route every October” to “completely certain the team will choke in the playoffs even if they go 82-0.” Just delightful.

blaxabbath

I will never fault a man for taking a nap.

2Pack

Yeah I can’t believe I bitched about being required to take a nap in kindergarten. Somebody at work offers me an early afternoon nap, and I’m knocking them over on the way to the break room couch.

herodotus450

Maryland quarterbacking success is proof that child abuse works, people!

herodotus450

Trying to “log in with my tv provider” but I don’t see an option for “over the air broadcasts use the public good of electromagnetic spectrum and are freely available to everyone,” wat do now fox?

blaxabbath

My vcr had buttons for each of channels 1-13. 11 was Fox. Nintendo played on 3.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Will watching the President’s Cup damage the Bonesaw tour? Cause if so, I’ll happily do it.

blaxabbath

“So here’s the thing about the President and the Saudis….

The REAL President, I mean.”

– B Masters

Don T

Don’t relate, but fully endorse
comment image

Don T

And it’s obvs the gender-fluid c*nt, so no sexism!

Don T

That’s 50%.The other 50% is doing stuff for others in a non-transactional manner.
Or at least waiting a month to throw it on his/her/their ungrateful face!

blaxabbath

Cheaper to Keep Her, I always say.

yeah right

Getting a divorce was the second greatest decision I ever made. Getting a vasectomy was the first.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s something wrong with the world today.

Gumbygirl

I would cut a bitch to be able to have my windows open. I’m not even sure if they have screens, but if the weather ever cools down enough to open them, I’m going to- come on in Mr. Scorpion! Welcome, Deadly Spider, and bring that lovely cool breeze with you!

blaxabbath

Thank you for your sacrifice so we could enjoy our whiz bang jet shows to Rock You zLike a Hurricane.

herodotus450

ppl forget that Washington State’s football coach got fired for not getting a vaccine last year

blaxabbath

My parents snowbird up in Eastern Washington. That is a community that will try you a witch for not eating house glue.

Beautiful country though.

blaxabbath

My wife took blaxito to the Dr for his 4 year old check up or whatever. While there he got his immunization shots and a couple Band-Aid brand bandages. So my mom sees her post on Facebook or whatever and texts my wife asking if it was a covid shot. She says no. Then my mom follows up with a text about, “they’re saying lots of kids who get the covid shot are getting [medical thing word I don’t know and doubt she was familiar with before the Fox News segment]. Just worry about my grandson.”

My wife didn’t know what to respond so u told her, “Lots of obese elderly people have health problems. Just worry about my MIL.”

It’s weird to hear dumb Trump stuff still being offered as fact. Like, while he was in office, sure you can always make the argument that his opinions reflected the nation or whatever — but, if nothing else, that benefit of the doubt has been eliminated after a pretty ugly economic reopening and so no real shift towards in public opinion towards Lock Up Fauci or Whatv About Hunter Biden Laptop?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A lot of times when my wife says “they’re saying” I respond by asking who “they” is. Usually it’s some restaurant critic or something talking about dumplings, though, not some Q-Anon conspiracy theorist who thinks that the vaccines that cured polio are a government plot.

blaxabbath

I’ve never done dim sum. And I’m intimidated to try.

Game Time Decision

Stay away from the tripe

Don T

But I work in government. Tripe is my métier!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was too. You’ve done tapas before, right? It’s basically that, but in dumpling form.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To expand on this, have her ask for specific sources, because she “wants to do her own research.”

Game Time Decision

I’m now of the age where I hurt myself sleeping. I did something to my elbow overnight and it’s all swollen. Need to start the paperwork on my medic alert bracelet soon.

blaxabbath

Probably shut down the last six batters at some SoCal minor league ballgame in your sleep.

Tommy John before you’re 75 if you keep this place up.

Game Time Decision

That would have been quite the feat as its my non throwing arm that’s hurt

Last edited 2 years ago by Game Time Decision
blaxabbath

Nttawwt

TheRevanchist

Wrexham has the lead, up 3-0. 68’

blaxabbath

Artemis is delayed again. This keeps up and I’m feeling good about the chance to pop out to FL for the eventual go with the boy.

blaxabbath

So Pujols — not juiced?

Horatio Cornblower

If he’s not the Angels should sue him for not trying during his contract with them, and if he is the Angels should sue him for not trying during his contract with them.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m just really happy that a guy who served his wife of 20+ years with divorce papers the day after she came out of brain surgery finally achieved his dreams. Just really warms my heart, you know?

Dunstan

“I mean, I would have done it the day before surgery, but still a solid move, I give it 9/10.” — Newt Gingrich

yeah right

Don’t forget, Artie signed Josh Hamilton in his “Prime” to a bajillion dollar contract upon whence he immediately relapsed and disappeared from the planet.

The Rendon signing has also proven less than desired results.

Artie Moreno is the fantasy baseball owner in your league who makes twice the transactions of everyone else combined and finishes in last every year.