Your Sunday Night NFL NFC Brawl Open Thread

The NFC East has certainly turned things around-they have the most wins of any division at this point. I don’t like either of these teams (natch) but it would be silly of me not to watch a matchup of this caliber.

To The Game!

Cowboys/Eagles:

-As you suspected, Dallas’ pass rush leads the league in pressures and is second in sacks. Though Parsons and Lawrence are the stars, nine different players have at least one sack.

-The Philly D is not exactly slouchy though-they have more takeaways than the Cowboys-11 to 7. One of the things they do well is taking wr’s out of the game. They are ranked #1 vs #1 guys (Jefferson was held to 48 yards) and are #2 against the 2’s.

-Philly’s o-line has been amazing at pass-blocking especially but they have four fellas banged up for this game. The one that is healthy, Lane Johnson, is facing off against DeMarcus and he hasn’t allowed a sack since week 11 of 2020.

-Is this the game where Rush has to manufacture more than 24 points? Because he hasn’t been able to/hasn’t had to yet. He’s a cool 5-0 both in his game record and ATS.

-Massive Improvement: Hurts has jumped his completion percentage from last year’s 61.3 (26th) to this year’s 67.9 (5th). Coaches attribute it to him having more patience letting routes develop and not rushing things. Of course there’s a price to be paid for this-he is far and away the qb that has been hit the most, having been touched up 84 times so far.

Enjoy what should be a good one.

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Redshirt

There it is. If you can’t beat ’em, beat ’em.

Horatio Cornblower

Eh, good game. Rush is clearly not ready for prime time and Dallas had a chance in the 4th quarter. It is what it is, 4-2 with the Lions and Bears before the bye week. Go into that 6-2 and see what happens afterwards.

Recovery Whiskey

You think they can beat the Lions and Bears?

Redshirt

I see the Cowboys haven’t learned from the Wild Card game: you don’t put the ball in the center of the field, you hand it to the nearest official! Even if you set it down at the right spot, the referee still needs to pick it up and set it down!

Horatio Cornblower

It’s a Mike McCarthy team, Redshirt; they’re not gonna learn from the preceding play.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Horatio Cornblower

Not even Pepperidge Farms remembers when the Dallas O-line was an actual asset.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh my god, Collinsworth actually predicted something correctly.

Recovery Whiskey

Other than banging high school girls

Horatio Cornblower

Is he one of those? I don’t think I’d heard that about him.

Recovery Whiskey

Please do your research

Redshirt

I guess the Philadelphia Eagles are going to 6-0.

throwup-jimcarrey.gif (160×90) (tenor.com)

Recovery Whiskey

SUDDEN DRAMATIC TURNAROUND

Recovery Whiskey

Nice to see Dallas establishing the run with 6 minutes left

Horatio Cornblower

Mike McCarthy always rises to the middle.

Horatio Cornblower

Cris: “Haha, you ever know an NFL wife who didn’t win a battle with her husband?”

Tirico: (Don’t say Nicole Brown Simpson. Don’t say Nicole Brown Simpson)

Redshirt

Tirico: “Janay Rice?”

blaxabbath

“Hey what’s Kato Kalen up to these days?!”

– DFO Producers

Recovery Whiskey

America’s Houseguest?

Mr. Ayo

Chris Henry: …

blaxabbath

That chick wasn’t married to Joe Mixon.

Not that NBC would dare let it be spoken of anyways.

Horatio Cornblower

I thought I’d put a lot of work into my car recently, and then I saw Gwen Stefani in that commercial

Recovery Whiskey

But maybe Gwen would want you to

Recovery Whiskey

That play might work in college but not the NFL

Redshirt

Why are they going for two here?

Recovery Whiskey

McCarthy wants to know if he can still call time out

Horatio Cornblower

Well, on the plus side Dallas is coming back and making a game of this. On the negative side they remain one of the dumbest and most undisciplined teams I’ve ever seen.

Recovery Whiskey

Thank you Mike McCarthy

blaxabbath

Is his success with Rogers the result of some kind of like — two wrongs making a right?

Horatio Cornblower

I just grabbed some leftover pulled pork and ate a charred and heavily seasoned piece of fat and I regret nothing.

This must be how Andy Reid goes through life.

King Hippo

and that’s just his pre-breakfast sleepwalking

blaxabbath

Man is a champion.

King Hippo

I deeply regret not going to bed at haftime

litre_cola

Dear Jesus I do not like how this is going.

Horatio Cornblower

This game has all the makings of Dallas getting to within 3, or making taking the lead by 4, and then McCarthy going full McCarthy over the last 8 or so minutes and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

blaxabbath

YEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAWWWWWWW THAT’S WHY I BROUGHT ON THE FAT SONBITCH IN THE FIRST PLACE I AM FUCKING CRAAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYYYY.

Recovery Whiskey

Or it won’t even need to happen because turnovers

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Microsoft Edge was whatever browser Buddy used between the ages of 15 to 19

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t get this joke, but since Buddy wrote I’m gonna go ahead and assume it’s filthy.

litre_cola

You would be correct.

ballsofsteelandfury

I believe it’s related to the practice of “edging”, aka masturbating to the brink of orgasm yet not finishing.

This message brought to you by National Ass Day. Which is today.

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower

That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

ballsofsteelandfury

And you’re a Cowboys fan, so that’s saying something.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

My goodness you’re still here

King Hippo

Could y’all try sucking a little less

King Hippo

Hmmmm, we’d rather not. – Philadephia

blaxabbath

– Whoever wasted their time giving first aid to Ashlee Babbitt, speaking to her lungs through the hole in her chest

King Hippo

ah, good point. Regardless of sportsball, we can all just be glad that traitorous bitch is ded.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I find this comment deeply offensive, because the hole was actually in her throat.

blaxabbath

Snowflake

yeah right

These two teams can not possibly hit each other hard enough.

We need triage units and plasma bags because fuck both of them so very very hard.

Horatio Cornblower

(hey guys, watch this)

Y’know, Yeah Right, having seen the replay again I really don’t think Drew Pearson pushed off on that Hail Mary.

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
yeah right

Oh fuck right off!

blaxabbath

This is a very very funny comment.

Layers.

Senor Weaselo

And exhale… for tonight.

Horatio Cornblower

Taillon tomorrow. Could go 8 strong, could shit the bed by the 3rd.

blaxabbath

I think I’m going to have to move to Hawaii.

Our how do you move to a territory? Is Samoa still ours?

ballsofsteelandfury

Don T sideye…

Horatio Cornblower

Try Guam, I hear good things.

/knows where Guam is and that’s literally it.

litre_cola

They like Spam!

Horatio Cornblower

Who doesn’t?

Recovery Whiskey

Puerto Rico’s closer. But yeah any of the territories man you’re a dude with money have at it

blaxabbath

Puerto Rico is……

a great idea. I’ll definitely check it out.

[Doesn’t get stabbed]

Sharkbait
blaxabbath

That’s funny.

Mahalo.

Brick Meathook

Who the fuck are the Guardians?

Brick Meathook

That heap-crazy new name, pale face

Horatio Cornblower

The Team Formerly Known As The Indians Who Didn’t Have The Marketing Sense To Return To The Name ‘Spiders’ Even Though They Had That History And It Was Right There For The Taking.

King Hippo

Spiders would be great. I would also approve of “Engines” but because I’m kind of a dick

Horatio Cornblower

Cleveland River Fires has potential. I’d buy a jersey.

Recovery Whiskey

Would also buy; but it sounds like a minor league team

Horatio Cornblower

I said what I said.

Recovery Whiskey

The Cleveland Engines. Gas or Electric?

Horatio Cornblower

Steam, of course.

Recovery Whiskey

I have been told by actual Clevelanders that Guardians is a very good name they think is good.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, it has something to do with an Art Deco bridge. I mean, cool and great for local marketing, but nationally Spiders would have been the shit.

Brick Meathook

I agree. Spiders could have been awesome.

Brick Meathook

I guess “Commanders” was already taken

Gumbygirl

Should have gone with Steamers.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Some flyover city team

Recovery Whiskey

Apparently they are the Guardians of Traffic. Who knew!

Horatio Cornblower

“Taco Bell, when you want the same ‘food’ a drugged out ‘comedian’ orders while coming down from the night before”

Spur

am done. going to watch this from bed. Eagles better not blow this…..

blaxabbath

Caller on the Cardinals post game show refered to Kyler Murray as “Xbox Jr”

Sharkbait

Must have been a double XP weekend for Call of Duty

Last edited 2 years ago by Sharkbait
Horatio Cornblower

Stop reading if I’ve told this story before, but years ago I hooked up with a clan of Call of Duty players out of, wait for it, Canada. Naturally, you would not know them.

Anyway, they took a liking to me even though I sucked, because I was good for a laugh and could shit talk rivals better than they could. They were, at best, blue collar. Some of them literally worked what they called “Joe Jobs”, loading boxes for 8 hours because it left them more time to play Xbox.

One double XP weekend I’m teamed up with one of them playing on some random team. We get to talking and it turns out he has shared custody of his son, and his son will be over soon. He says, and this is pretty much verbatim “I mean, I love my son, but why does his weekend have to be a double XP weekend?”

People, I have torn some assholes before and since, but I have never torn an asshole like I did that day.

blaxabbath

Me: “I mean, I don’t like bad fathers BUT it is comforting knowing that I won’t need to do so some outstanding parenting job myself for my kid to keep pace.”

Brett Farve: “Like this Chinese/Korea education stuff — how do these sushi heads do it? Seems like a lot of not-fun.”

Recovery Whiskey

Thats effin funny

Horatio Cornblower

THAT RIZZO AT BAT I CALL IT LATE DECEMBER BACK IN ’63, BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS NOT QUITE READY IN THE BOX!!!

Recovery Whiskey

Costas is asking about the Zodiac Killer ?

Thought it was Rafael “Ted” Cruz

Last edited 2 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Horatio Cornblower

It’s never been conclusively disproved that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer, and frankly his silence on the issue is troubling.

Horatio Cornblower

If you had told me, a rational Cowboys fan, that something called Cooper Rush was going to start 3 of the first 6 games and Dallas was going to go 4-2 I would have signed for the immediately.

The irrational Cowboy fan in me, of course, was hoping that Cooper would somehow beat Philly 44-0.

Recovery Whiskey

Oddly enough 44-0 was the score of the Chicago Bears 1985 season win vs Dallas.

Horatio Cornblower

I was in high school. Still remember the SI cover.

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Poor Danny White.

I think he married one of the cheerleaders though, although that might be an urban legend.

Horatio Cornblower

Danny did not marry a cheerleader, he kissed one on the sideline after a Super Bowl win. A link to a story about it is below. A nice and benign story that seems to end well for everyone. In other words, it’s a fucking unicorn.

https://www.texasmonthly.com/arts-entertainment/the-photo-the-dallas-cowboys-never-wanted-the-public-to-see/

Recovery Whiskey

I came

Last edited 2 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Doktor Zymm

So my trainer, who is also a friend, is both named Jalen and an Eagles fan. He has Jalen Hurts in a couple of leagues, and has the privilege of being able to name his teams “Losing to Jalen Hurts”
It’s so good

Horatio Cornblower

Would you say it…hurts so good?

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

A friend of mine just texted me that “the Dallas QB controversy is over”, (as though there was one), so I gather Rush isn’t exactly covering himself with anything other than dirt.

Horatio Cornblower

Mina Kimes is a national treasure who needs to be protected at all costs.

litre_cola

The best.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you talked about Rush covering himself with dirt, it reminded me that Rush Limbaugh is still dead and I smiled.

Gatoraids

really thought I could get away with rolling the Cowboys D another week without swapping on the waiver, but didnt count on the Cowboys Offense

Spur

ok, no injuries tonight would still be a win

WCS

No, Mr. Jones. They’re saying “COOOO-per! COOOO-per!”

King Hippo

Cooper Rush boomlet, mildly amusing while it lasted.

The Owl looks like a Litre/Rev Mayhem Derby!

SonOfSpam

I see Cooper Rush has at last become Cooper Rush.

Mr. Ayo

COOPERCEPTION!

Recovery Whiskey

Dallas pwned again

Sharkbait

Giants 5-1. Jets 4-2. Competent football in New York? This is a weird and unsettling thing. What’s next? The Flyers with competent goaltending?

Mr. Ayo

Let’s not get crazy here.

Doktor Zymm

Also, HAHA DALLAS LOL SUCKY SUCKY

litre_cola

You in to the Gin now Zymm?

Doktor Zymm

Not yet, still finishing off the box wine, but liquor is nawt a bad call. My heart would be in these taunts more, although this one was still quite good!

Doktor Zymm

Chicago cold is best in super small doses. Snow is great, even extreme cold can be great, but cities kinda make it all gross. It’s not cold yet, but reconciling the fact that I miss cold and snow, but don’t miss it HERE

Recovery Whiskey

Global warming cut off Chicago’s nuts

Horatio Cornblower

This could be the last Yankees game of the season, so I feel obligated to watch it, but my God Costas makes it hard to do so. He’s awful; everything he says comes coated with a thick coating of smug.

jjfozz

He should have his head cut off with a spoon

SonOfSpam

And if a Yankees fan is complaining of smug…

Horatio Cornblower

You say that as though an Angels fan could be.

SonOfSpam

We have the MVP at least.

Mr. Ayo

Two of them actually. And your team still sucks out loud.

SonOfSpam

We suck quietly so as not to disturb anyone.

Horatio Cornblower

I think Trout may be washed, too; recurring back injuries are what eventually ended Mattingly’s career.

Horatio Cornblower

The Angels did not, in fact, have the MVP.

Mr. Ayo

Settle down drama llama. They’re not losing.

Recovery Whiskey

Sorry was watching the sunset for a while what happened in the game?

99A77163-67E7-44EA-B8CA-263934CDA4D7.jpeg
Brick Meathook

They say it’s the air pollution that gives Los Angeles its beautiful sunsets.

Recovery Whiskey

They’re not wrong

litre_cola

Wichita is just a wonderful coast.

Horatio Cornblower

Back from the wedding. Mrs. Cornblower has made another couple legal in the eye of the State and moral in the eyes of…some kind of internet church I guess. Not many dry eyes.

Now I need a beer and some sports ball activities.

litre_cola

Been a great game. Welcome!

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t like the sounds of that considering the source.

/flips over to Cowboys

Ah, yes, I see.

Spur

Rush’s limitations are showing

Mr. Ayo

Go birds

King Hippo

DFO, we have achieved MAXIMUM CAP’N BLUEBUNNY!!

WCS

Kicking a field goal on the two-yard line with 25 seconds left, down four in the Super Bowl?

Recovery Whiskey

Should’ve run it