Your “Is The Amazon Curse Real?” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Will one of these fine teams score more than 12 points in the win? Will there be enormous droughts of scoring? Will single dads plop their screaming kids in front of the tube in order that they are lulled to sleep? Will we give this game a chance? Yes.

Newsy Notes:

-Melvin Gordon and Nat Hackett sorta, kinda hashed it out after sitting down together. Did Coach bring up Gordo’s costly fumbles and his egregious 3.65 ypc average? Likely not.

-Tua says he lost consciousness after getting hit. Apparently well-wishers in his neighborhood brought by treats and artwork to lift his spirits. An NFL official also brought by a gag order that Tua refused to ‘autograph’.

-Hey, did you know there’s a Polynesian Football Hall of Fame? Some of this year’s finalists include Manti Te’o, Rey Mauluga and Tony Banks. Benefits include free tiki drinks for life!

-Travis Kelce re-jiggered his contract so that the Chiefs could free up some money against the cap. Names being bantered about include CMC, D.J. Moore and OBJ. “Something’s in the air”, Travis said during his podcast to which his brother Jason replied, “Yeah, your mom’s legs. Wait…”

To The Game!

Saints/Cards:

-The Red Rocket Rifle is ready to roar! Unless it’s Taysom or Jameis-nobody knows as of this writing.

-Kamara Time? Arizonny is ranked 24th in pass defense DVOA according to Football Outsiders and is dead last defending the pass to rb’s so maybe let him loose. (like you weren’t going to already)

-Rook wr Olave is back from his concussion holiday and should get plenty of work given that 4 Saints wideouts are injured. He hasn’t played the #1 role yet though.

-Will the Weber State speedster Rashid Shaheed vulture another score again? God, I hope so.

-D-Hop is around but was only allowed back in the building after week 4 and was not allowed to practice with the team. So he’s unlikely to have his game legs on but what do I know?

Nothing, I know nothing. If you know something, type it out.

 

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Mr. Ayo

El Traffico is El BananaCake-o

SonOfSpam

Fun game as usual, but stupid LAFC advances.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In español it’s “pastel de platano-o”

blaxabbath

Good to see a good win for AZ.

Now Kingsbury can fall apart and get fired on in season Hard Knocks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really could have used some more Olave garbage time points. Dalton continues to be useless to me.

Brocky

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WCS

Large Marge did it better.

Brocky

Cmon, throw another interception. You know you want to…

TheRevanchist

Wow! Too bad his good, healthy years were wasted with that shitty team.

Redshirt

AJ Green nods his head and strains his neck.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

CMC tradeded to Niners for draft picks.

Mr. Ayo

A team full of injured players adding an injury prone RB?

You won’t believe what happens next!

Sharkbait

Well thats interesting

ArmedandHammered

Moving from a place where everyone looks homeless to where they actually are homeless.

Brocky

He started running and I said no fucking way

Brocky

And situations like this are why I refuse to let defenses score negative points in fantasy.

All these late useless points would chip away at 2 defensive scores? I don’t think so

Wakezilla

/checks the football score

Wow, the Cardinals really want first dibs on children in the Catholic Clergy Bowl.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jeff Bezos instructed the teams to put up a lot of points “or else.” He didn’t specify, but neither team was curious as to what he might have meant.

Senor Weaselo
clint greasewood

Hopkins looks like he lost some weight during his suspension.

Brocky

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litre_cola

No more throwing Kyler, kill the clock and give it to Emo Benjamins

Sharkbait

Almost safety. Damnit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Up 18 in the 4th quarter, better keep throwing it.

Brocky

He legit looks like a serial killer

Horatio Cornblower

It happened people: someone finally tackled a disabled kid for a loss.

https://twitter.com/mjkjuice/status/1583188097214185472

Redshirt

Aw, the video stopped. I was hoping to answer my question “Can you get flagged for Unnecessary Roughness if you hit your own teammate?”

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola – If you’re going to play, you’re going to play kid.

SonOfSpam

Going to hell for laughing at this, and all the other stuff.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve seen better communication between differing fundamentalist religious sects than I’m seeing between the Yankees fielders.