Round Three? It’s Another NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s keep Balls’ balls rolling.

To The Games!

Titans/Texans:

A perfectly cromulent tilt that will be watched by dozens of folks. Dozens, I tell you! Bye weeks being what they are, I’m playing Davis Mills and the Tennessee D-something’s gonna give and I’ll end up with a big fat L. If Jacobs ran for 143 against Houston, Henry should be good for 180+.

Commies/Colts:

Indy has given up the ghost that is Matt Ryan’s throwing arm and at the insistence of that pill-popping hot daddy of an owner is playing Sam “Did you have to, did you have to, did you have to, did you have to let it” Ehlinger. The Commies should trade Gibson to a team that actually knows how to use him.

Niners/Rams:

CMC, that oft-injured rb, was sent to a team that has a history of getting rb’s hurt-this will work out well. Anyway, he should get full run today. Will the moribund Rams O finally wake up and be the team that everyone expected them to be? That hangover is a real thing, so far.

Giants/Seahawks:

I’ll just go on thinking New York will lose this one-it worked against Tennessee, Baltimore and Green Bay so why not? Both of these surprising squadoos have flawed D’s that can be exploited. You can run on the Giants all day and Seattle’s pass D is quite generous. Send out the Wan’Dale Signal! And the Kenneth Walker Signal as well, as long as you’re up, and make me a tea. We could have a high-scoring affair here.

Have fun out there!

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King Hippo

Just checked the boxscore for any Van Jefferson (Family Feud X buzzer) points, who the fresh hell is “Ronnie Rivers” on RRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!? That has to be a Madden name generator placeholder, yeah?

King Hippo

For the 2nd week in a row, that Jakobi goal line lunge gives me a chance at an undeserved win.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am finding that watching this page is more entertaining than football:

https://resultados.tse.jus.br/oficial/app/index.html#/eleicao/resultados

blaxabbath

I love hearing four straught callers demand Kliff’s head and they go to commercial like,

“Hey Cards Fans! It’s me! Kliff Kingsbury! Coach of your Arizona Cardinals. And I’m here with dealership manager to tell you about the playing power of the new Ford line up…”

King Hippo

You have to (as a neutral) like how these Giants play.

King Hippo

/on cue, they fumble on the punt return

Recovery Whiskey

Hahah yeah

Mr. Ayo

These Gigantes and Jests are who they always were.

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
King Hippo

listened to the wrong voice in your head, eh?

Senor Weaselo

So tonight’s (Sephardic) wedding? They’re Disney fans… cue the band playing Mos Eisley at the end of cocktail, because hey, it counts!

Asked the pianist if he knows Heaven’s Light, or if we can’t do Hunchback because too much Jeebus.

Gumbygirl

I believe just the other day I was bragging that I don’t drink much anymore, so hangovers aren’t really a thing.
This hangover is a fucking thing. SIL and I got into the wine in a big way last night. I woke up this morning facedown on the couch. Ugh. Gumbygirl is a lightweight!

King Hippo

Saquon with a salty run to equalize!

King Hippo

Janeane needs to throw to Aiyuk here. YOU GO, GRRRRRLLL

King Hippo

What you lookin’ at Willis?

blaxabbath

This episode of Cardinals Talk is being consumed by Kliff Kingsbury is the problem.

blaxabbath

The hosts refuse the position in that they aren’t in the huddle so they don’t have all the information.

Yes — their news side is a crazt republic radio station….

King Hippo

need 2 Kan Koach Kliff????

Doktor Zymm

Ok, now everyone on my bench who isn’t robbie anderson has a td

Beerguyrob

I drove three hours for this?

C7155BEB-0543-4C99-B7CE-18063B09569A.jpeg
Mr. Ayo

Should have went to the Kraken game last night.

Cecil Rhodes

Geno Mahomes!

King Hippo

Game intros (and associated punnery) excellent as always. I imagine folks who gave into chaotic thoughts and started the Humps new QB are think “I am such a fool for you”

blaxabbath

For real though.

Is Kurt Cousins Elite?

Doktor Zymm

As elite as Flacco certainly

King Hippo

YOU try beating him at Old Testament trivia

Mr. Ayo

CMC cannot be classified.

blaxabbath

“Like we did!”

– UNC Grads

Doktor Zymm

He can’t be unclassified by Trump either

blaxabbath

“OH YEAH WHAT ABOUT PELOSI’S HUSBANDS GAY LOVER?!”

Doktor Zymm

The fuck? Did DK just have a knee cramp or something?

Mr. Ayo

He was supposed to be out another 2 weeks with a patellar tendon injury.

Really not sure why he’s playing to begin with.

Doktor Zymm

He looks fine, but knowing the NFL they’ve just given him some stuff that Hippo would be muy envious of

Cecil Rhodes

My word, looks like we’ll have a 0-0 draw at halftime in the Gigantes-SeaTruthers contest. This should have been the London game — the supporters would have loved it!

Doktor Zymm

Huzzah!
I never thought I would say that upon sight of a Seahawks game

Doktor Zymm

I have maybe 3 sloshes of wine left and I think my wifi has gone the way of the Raiders dignity so I might be heading out. Will go one more try

Mr. Ayo

Slosh away.

But yeah, these games are butt. You won’t miss anything.

LemonJello

Is there oxygen in gravy? Then yes.

Mr. Ayo

The Gospel of Fatthew Delivers!

Doktor Zymm

But are they on a plane? I would watch a show called Serpents on a Plane

Last edited 2 years ago by Doktor Zymm
yeah right

Somebody get these motherfucking serpents off of this motherfucking plane!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thank you Carolina, for taking any possible sting out of today’s Raiders loss.

King Hippo

yeah, y’all are totally not going to be first on today’s “Holy Mother of Fuck” list.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll be impressed if you can find anything to say about the game other than simply printing the score. It was incredibly dull.

King Hippo

I mean, that’s close. I did note that I don’t recall RedZone showing a single play of the 2nd half

blaxabbath

Cardinals flagship REALLLYYY having a tough time ignoring the consistency of this team.

LemonJello

Is that consistency best described as “liquid shit”?

blaxabbath

They’re trying to be like, “wow! Now it’s like 6 of their 7 games have been so uncharacteristic off them!”

No. This is their character.

Recovery Whiskey

Well that wasn’t optimal

Doktor Zymm

Which team is less competent, find out tonight when indy washington something something!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Worth me turning the telly on or fuck it?

blaxabbath

I’ve let the kid take off on the cartoon Ghostbusters cartoon from 87.

I’ll just take Cardinals Talk on my earbuds.

Doktor Zymm

You probably shouldn’t fuck your television, but if you are it’s only good manners to turn it on first

Doktor Zymm

Wifi is performing like the Jets and pooping out for the second half,will try again and then give up if that fails

The Maestro

This Panthers-Falcons game should be in the Louvre.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B Walsh

WCS

PRAISE SHANK’LOR

Doktor Zymm

I declare the NFC South to be the new NFC East. The NFC East will henceforth be known as the NFC West, the NFC West will be the NFC North, and the NFC North is now the NFC South.

Mr. Ayo

You’re the commissioner, so it will be.

Redshirt

Actually, thanks to COVID Home Schooling, the current generation will grow up thinking south is east, east is west, west is north, and north is south.

Recovery Whiskey

Not giving up beachfront property for some frozen great lake

Redshirt

You have no reason to smile, asshole! You cost your team a win!If I was on your team, you’d be peeling my helmet decal from your shit-eating grin!

Doktor Zymm

One of these days I will be able to use my bananas for bread, or banana splits instead of cakes.

(Just kidding, I don’t own any bananas)

The Maestro

OH MY GOD

HAIL SHAN’KHOR!!!!

Redshirt

SHAN’KHOR really hates it when a player draws attention to himself and not the team!

BugEyedBoo

Jonathon Vilma ranted on for five minutes about #2 (I don’t remember who, I’m old) taking his helmet off. “Act like you’ve been there before.” My wife said, “Carolina’s 2-5, maybe he hasn’t been there before.”

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Redshirt

Well, that was the dumbest thing I’ve seen a defense do in some time.

The Maestro

THAT’S XFL LEGEND PJ WALKER TO Y’ALL

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have to say, it’s so much easier to come down from a Raiders game when the numbness builds throughout the entire four quarters, rather than with a spectacular bed-shitting at the very end.

Mr. Ayo

I tried to warn you all about PJ Walker

Mr. Ayo

You all laughed and laughed and laughed.

You fools! This is the Dirty Birds.

Horatio Cornblower

SUDDEN BANANACAKES IN HOTLANTA!!!

Recovery Whiskey

What are these Reeces pieces doing playing the Cowboys

Recovery Whiskey

Geno looks … charming