Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Damn. Things started off so promising for Canadia this morning. As I type this they’ve just conceded a second goal and look like a team that has qualified for the first time since 1986. Davies is in a class of his own and I hope he gets more help as his international career progresses.

To The Game!

Packers/Eagles:

-Philly has gotten to 9-1 five other times and has reached the championship game each time.

-It would be lovely to put Green Bay on that eighth loss, pretty much guaranteeing that they’ll not have even a remote shot at the playoffs. We’ve been spared so much petulant posturing from Qaron because Lafleur-led teams have been so good these last few years. I can’t wait to see what our favorite passive-aggressive whiner says/does as the season draws to a close.

-Philly will have a black ensemble tonight and it will look awful/awesome-there is no in-between.

-Symmetry!: Hurts is 4th in total yards (2,847) and total scores (23).

-Over their last two games-a loss to the Commies and a squeaker win vs the Colts-the Eagles have failed to take care of the ball, committing 5 turnovers in that span.

-In addition, during their winning run their D has been gifted some lousy opposing qb’s including Wentz, Rush, Cooper, Pickett, Mills and a washed-up Ryan. It’ll be interesting how they deal with a juggernaut like Daniel Jones. Twice! Kidding!

-The Packers D just gave up 333 yards to Tanney Fanny-I’m guessing Hurts gets beyond that in combined yards. It seems like Green Bay’s cb’s are waiting for next year.

-Hurts might want to give A.J. Brown a little more action especially given that Go-Tart is out. At the beginning of the season he was getting 8+ targets and now he’s just over 5 per game.

Do your thing.

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Brick Meathook

Terminal Island
11/27/22

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Brocky

Hippo u on here?

Shout out to Watson on three straight games with a touchdown

Brocky

Alright, gonna take the nyquil

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Gumbygirl

If absinthe is the green fairy, Nyquil is the green goblin.

Brocky

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Redshirt

You cannot convince me that the Packers didn’t just start trying now that Love is in the game.

Brocky

Man stop making me laugh my ribs hurt

WCS

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Lafluer’s going to take Qaron for a ride, and explain how things are going to operate going forward.

Brocky

Man if this legit starts another decade of high quality qb play for Green Bay, I’m going to be very upset

Doktor Zymm

Good job with that ball, Boston Scott!
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Doktor Zymm

I usually feel bad for people with cracked ribs, but not Qaaron!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Same here!” – Momma Rodgers

Doktor Zymm

Well done Mr. Brown!
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Gumbygirl

Mr. Brown went out of town

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Doktor Zymm

Mr. Brown can Moo, can YOU?
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Gumbygirl

Why yes. Yes I can!

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WCS

Get out of here, demon cow. I ATE PART OF YOUR SISTER FOR DINNER YESTERDAY. SHE WAS DELICIOUS.

Gumbygirl

Rest in peace, Clarice!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That part of the book (“Brown came back with Mr. Black”) gave Stephen Miller nightmares until he was 24 years old.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(just kidding he never stopped having nightmares about that)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tirico nails the call with “A.J. Brown gets the feet down!”

Redshirt

Okay, that was the most accurate example of bullying I’ve seen. Thank you, Law and Order: SVU, I really needed those scars reopened.

Thank God, BLEERGH and Mr. Rogers that cyberbullying hadn’t been invented yet when I was bullied in Jr. High, or…yeah, I don’t what to finish that sentence.

Why do I work tomorrow?! Tonight, would be a really good night to get drunk.

Senor Weaselo

“So you mean it’s like when…” yes, Ice-T, it is.

Doktor Zymm

Do they keep an intern in the basement to make those animations? Should we send help?

Redshirt

No! We’ll need someone on the inside to coordinate our efforts to overthrow them!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m enjoying see Rodgers take a beating almost as much as his family is.

Brocky

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Senor Weaselo

That’s Willhelm Maize Hays to you!

Last edited 1 year ago by Senor Weaselo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did anyone else catch a glimpse of very attractive corn-fed Packers sideline girl?

Brocky

Remember when those girls wearing bikini tops in the stands and we come to find out none of them were from Wisconsin and knew jack about football?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not allowed to learn personal details about women I find attractive. Court order.

Gumbygirl

That was a marriage licence, not a
“court order” lol.

Last edited 1 year ago by Gumbygirl
Doktor Zymm

Abbreviating “Iran” as “IRN” is dumb

Horatio Cornblower

They tried IRA but the Iranians objected because of the implication of violence.

Gumbygirl

IRN-BRUtally oppressive religious zealots. Their gubmint, anyway.

Brocky

So I caught that flew that’s going around at Thanksgiving, told my pops I’m a game of chicken, but this time I’m doing it with cold medicine

Dad: what does that mean?

Me: I means I’m trying to avoid taking anything now so I can overindulge on nyquil later.

Dad: been there. Just don’t cough in my direction

Gumbygirl

Nyquil sends me on a vision quest.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think I’ve ever had Nyquil

Brocky

There’s a reason some states require an ID for it

https://i.scdn.co/image/ab67706f00000003b9423e0f6c4b278bfab9343b

Gumbygirl

Yup. It’s a groovy trip for me. Hope it makes you feel better!

Gumbygirl

Me on Nyquil

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WCS

FLORIDA MEN hoopsball have a forward named Fudge.

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Redshirt

Rumblings out of Social Media Experts and Sports Experts are mentioning Deion Sanders as a possible replacement to Luke Fickell at JV Cincy. Should I be excited about this possible hire, or do I need to pray to all the deities still listening to me to stop this from happening?

WCS

Cincy’s going to need A LOT more cocaine on hand.

Redshirt

What do you think the secret ingredient in Skyline Chili was? Chocolate?

WCS

Explains why no one actually likes it, but, can’t get enough.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Um…when’s the last time you heard someone describe Deion Sanders as having a “great football mind”?

Redshirt

Does he count?

Doktor Zymm

He might have a great football mine though. Or a great football mime!

Redshirt

Lamar Jackson is reacting reasonably to losing to Jacksonville and letting the Bengals (albeit temporary) sneak into the picture.

Pickswise on Twitter: “Lamar Jackson responds to a fan who said the Ravens should let him walk https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f633.svg https://t.co/N888WtOufB” / Twitter

TheRevanchist

There should be a training camp where players learn that they should listen to trolls. It would save some embarrassment and a lot of time for their agents.

Doktor Zymm

He would probably be less salty if he was getting paid a bunch of guaranteed money

TheRevanchist

I looked up from my phone and there was a close up of Aaron’s ass for some reason. I could understand if it was meaty and tight, but definitely wasn’t.

Horatio Cornblower

The Coke ad guy’s mother isn’t dead, she just got deported because she got a speeding ticket after spending 32 productive years in the USA doing shitty jobs no self-respecting white American would do other than at gun point.

WCS

Stephen Miller’s A Christmas Carol

WCS

FUCK YOU MOM LEAVE ME ALONE YOU DEAD BITCH THIS IS MY HOUSE AND MY HOLIDAY NOW LITERALLY GO BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Aaron Rodgers in 15 years

Brocky

I still say scrooged is the best adaptation of a Christmas Carol, but I like yours too

Doktor Zymm

This game is now 2020, so that means a vaccine will be developed at the end and Qaaron will scramble away in horror. Ironically, his risky inoculation behaviour will result in a safety.

Redshirt

Well, you do have a point, Dok. The score is 20-20 in the 2nd Quarter, so like COVID-19 at that year, the numbers are steadily increasing with no defense around to stop it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Each of these teams is going to score 60 points tonight, no?

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B Walsh

Dunstan

More offense means more chances for Shankl’or to do her thing….

WCS

BWAHAHAHAHA

THIS GAME RULES

ballsofsteelandfury

It continues to surprise me that you guys actually watch the game with the sound on when you know damn well Collinsworth is right there waiting to suck.

ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I grew up in a less homophobic environment I would have instantly turned gay after seeing Olyphant in this movie.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

One of the greatest scenes in movies, period.

Dunstan

Not as good a Katie Holmes scene as the one in The Gift, though.

Brick Meathook

It makes the helicopter attack in Apocalypse Now look like shit

WCS

DERPtacular!

Horatio Cornblower

That was some banana cakes “tackling” by the offense on the fumble return. Even considering that’s not their job, yeesh.

LemonJello

Collinsworth gets paid by the word, doesn’t he?

Horatio Cornblower

The idea that he’s so important to SNF that he was able to nepotism Jac into a job is beyond unbelievable. I will understand that physics of black holes before I understand that.

BugEyedBoo

No lie. Boggles my mind.

Downfield Matriculator

Hunter Fieri is the pinnacle of meritocratic achievement compared to Jac.

/when I lose control of the remote at home, the merry jester of the Food Network and his offspring are too often the folks I see.

Downfield Matriculator

Or by the referee fluff — never have the zebras made a mistake while Chris was watching

Game Time Decision

It’s like GB isn’t aware that the QB can run

Doktor Zymm

They can’t stop RBs from running, and “quarterback” doesn’t even have the word “run” in there unless you do anagrams, which I’m guessing aren’t popular in Wisconsin

LemonJello

“Run” is not a word heard much in the greater Wisconsin area.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “urn” is the place that Aaron’s parents will end up after leaving him in charge of disposing of their earthly remains along with instructions to bury them next to each other in the family plot.

(the urn will subsequently be dumped into a convenient cat litter box)

The Maestro

“Running? You mean like running away? Like what the LIBS do all the time? No way, man.” – A. Rodgers

WCS

Gorging on the leftover buckeye fudge and chocolate fingerprint cookies seemed like a great idea 20 minutes ago.

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Doktor Zymm

Past You did NAWT consider the well being of Present You

Doktor Zymm

I can squat 600 oz. In fact, my backpack coming back from my last vacation was about 600 oz, I’m lucky they almost never weigh carryons

WCS

Jeff Lurie looks like someone who just pooped himself a little bit, and doesn’t know if anyone noticed yet.

Redshirt

Well, after two failed attempts to get my 2nd Booster shot, with Attempt 2 involving them calling with 45 minutes to go to say “We’re sorry, we were prepping your dose, but we just noticed the Moderna booster we had has expired.” They also quickly hung-up before I could ask if they gave the boosters out to other persons before they read the expiration dates as I was the last available appointment slot of the day.

But the third attempt:

Robot Chicken – The Death of He-Man – YouTube

Horatio Cornblower

Have you tried being a straight, white, middle-aged male? Because that’s been working great for me.

Redshirt

Look if I wanted to hear shit like that, I would’ve gone to Thanksgiving Dinner with my family.

Game Time Decision

Replaced three valence lights is the kitchen today. Didn’t even electrocute myself. Light for the light god.

Dunstan

“THERE. ARE. FOUR. LIGHTS!” — Jean-Luc Picard

Game Time Decision

Didn’t even need to eat rotten eggs

Doktor Zymm

“How many Game Time Decisions does it take to change a lightbulb?”
Either 1 or 0.3333 depending on how you count, and now we know!

Game Time Decision

It was the whole fixture, not just the bulb

Doktor Zymm

Nice! Changing fixtures is a pain in the butt. I have a bunch I’ve been meaning to do in Chicago but haven’t even gotten around to the easy one yet, much less the 2 ceiling fans and the vintage art deco one I need to rewire first. I applaud your motivation along with your lack of self-electrocution

The Maestro

I have zero issue with people who choose to live a sober lifestyle – I just know it’s not for me.

Instead, I will judge the shit out of people who elect to have Coca-Cola as the feature beverage for holiday dinners.

Game Time Decision

I’d be more judgey if they featured Coke than if they didn’t drink alcohol

Doktor Zymm

Would have been a lot more fun 130 years ago

WCS

What would make that Coke commercial so much better would be Linda Blair appearing at the end of it to let the guy know what’s really going with mom’s ghost on Thanksgiving.

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WCS

…and here come the vaccines!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Doktor Zymm

Neato! Let’s see some Mr. Brown this drive!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OVDq_WCfGw

King Hippo

Hippo’s cold, dark heart REALLY needed that pickerception. Chuh chuh.

Redshirt

(see Aaron Rodgers run onto the field)

(goes back to “The West Wing” marathon on HLN)

Dunstan

That’s actually a good idea

Game Time Decision

Writes game over in notebook

King Hippo

Collinsworth’s word salad is MOAR word salad than EVAR

BugEyedBoo

Aaron Rodgers believes in X-rays, how about that.

Doktor Zymm

That’s just because I haven’t sold him a Z-ray yet
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Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
Redshirt

He believes that its an image that angels who sneak into his body and takes a pictures, but yeah, he technically believes.

LemonJello

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Senor Weaselo

Keep Christ in Christ-ray… the X is short for it like Xmas, right?

Doktor Zymm

The Panthers are really awful at tanking

King Hippo

They really should hire Steve Wilks full-time, since his competence has already ruined the Tank.

WCS

The Panthers are really awful.

FIFY

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[runs through clubhouse wearing nothing but a Raiders bandana wrapped around his wing-wang and loudly blowing an inadvertent whistle]

Don T

I think it’s great to have different opinions on topics such as the injustices propping up the World Cup or whether to pay attention to “soccer” period. But I trust we can all agree that starting Kyle Pitts at this stage of the fantasy football season is folly on par with expecting Jesus Fucking Christ to come down from heaven and save the environment.

Doktor Zymm

He would be a great member of an all IR squad!

King Hippo

I cut him in a keeper league with 20-man rosters.

WCS

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Beerguyrob

Seahawks game is becoming fun.

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Fronkenshteen

Youze fantasy types might want to pick up Travis Homer because Kenneth Walker III has hit the Rookie Wall, and Vito Spatafore sold his airbags for new leather daddy gear.
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Last edited 1 year ago by Fronkenshteen
Mr. Ayo

It didn’t end that way, dammit.