Newsy Notes:
-Darnell Mooney is done for the year with a significant ankle injury just as he was getting going. Poor guy. My poor fantasy team gets even poorer.
-Watson is all set to play for the Browns and there’s been another victim found. Qb Joshua Dobbs has been cut from the roster to make room. (that may have been a bit dark, sorry)
-OBJ was escorted from a plane, apparently he was falling in and out of consciousness. Story is just weird.
-Lost The Room?: Russell Wilson was berated on the sideline by a defensive player. Now he can add the players to fans and management that are not happy with him.
To The Game!
Steelers/Colts:
-With Ryan back behind center perhaps Alec Pierce will regain fantasy relevance-he disappeared for a bit there but will be matched against the struggling Ahkello Witherspoon who also has a bad hammy.
-The Colts have lost 7 straight to the Steelers but Pitt has lost three of their last four.
-Wherefore Diontae Johnson?: Boy does he miss Big Ben’s pitiful excuse for an arm. He hasn’t scored a TD since last January.
-The Colts will wear a throwback uni tonight-the jerseys will have 3 stripes instead of 2 and the numbers will have a slightly different font!
-Back From The Dead: With Jaylen Warren hot on his tail, Najee has run for 189 yards in the last two games. This is vitally important because he needs to be effective on early downs so that Pickett has manageable third downs to work with. That hadn’t been the case recently. Expect the rook to improve if Najee does.
Type away.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca8pHStQxDQ
https://vimeo.com/776062337
Sick burn
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRCHJsX9/
The ending of that game was the equivalent to ordering dessert at Applebees.
Tou questioning Jeff Saturday’s clock management?
“I’m okay with bees, bees are cool, but apples? I’m good with Apples for approximately one additional year”
-The Cincinnati Bengals
For all you photography/imaging buffs: https://29a.ch/photo-forensics/#forensic-magnifier . It gives you several analyzers to see how much a photo has been retouched. Now you know as much about the tool as I do.
How did I find this? It turns out Governor Possum Queen below is retouched. Her cleavage is much brighter under analysis, which is a sign that it’s been messed with.
.
Is one bigger than the other?
I’ll be goddamed if I’m gonna stare at Ms. Gomer Pyle’s boobs to figure that out.
Some brave individual needs to run next Sexy Friday’s photos through this tool.
Have you not already been doing suspension of disbelief? If not, please don’t go disillusioning yourself, TINKERBELL WILL DIE IF YOU DON’T CLAP YOUR HANDS!
I got some bad news for Tinkerbell.
Possibly retouched.
Altogether Ooky. And Uncle Fester!
Lot of ways to do this. Take an image and put it in an imaging program like Photoshop, and just run viewer gamma up and down. Different comp parts tend to change differently. We have have hundreds of tricks like this in VFX.
Fuck Pat Boone
That was kind of random, but, fair point.
Counterpoint: I would not fuck Pat Boone with a big ole gay dick. No sir. I would not fuck Pat Boone!
I knew I liked you
Awww, shucks. I like you too!
Do I have to?
Impressed by both whatever hair oil Fats uses, and by the drape of his trousers!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FDYyf8Kqrs
He gave up the hair oil later on, but looks like the same tailor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy5WM1xYbGo
Snazzy!
The NFC South: SOMEONE HAS TO WIN BY DEFINTION!
When i narrowly win my fourth fantasy matchup in a row
And i was fucking on edge too. My opponent had Pittman. 5 catches for 45 yards in the second half. That was almost a classic “God hates brocky finish”
Woooooo! Just got home for the end. Crazytown!
Signal goes up. …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FEDrU85FLE
IMO, keep Tomlin thru this season as this team looks good. They are fast, young and will buy into his schtick.
Even by the standards of NFL owners, they would have to be idiots to get rid of him
There is literally only one group of people who want him gone and we know it’s for a certain reason
That group has always been around in Yinzburgh. Fortunately, they are just a vocal minority. The Steelers don’t fire coaches for one bad season. He’s not getting fired!
I’ve noticed that, but can’t qwhite put my finger on it.
Dude, it’s not even a question. He ain’t going anywhere.
I see you aren’t on the racist message boards.
Are they called that? Like, can you choose between “Steelers message board” and “Racist Steelers message board”?
This place is a sanctuary, most are rotting filth. Since KSK I do like reading teams message boards. It is a roller coaster of madness, and racism.
Especially a “react reasonably” type of event, it brings out the crazies.
Those guys want Bill Cowher back so bad that it ain’t funny.
OTOH, firing Matt Canada would be a damn good idea.
Probably good that they’re pulling people off for potential head injuries, but skeptical me things they wouldn’t do it equally for all players, and that it’s probably just some guy who read a pamphlet doing the pulling and it’s all actually BS
Life really is a trip. How odd is it that the godless devil music of rock n’ roll comes from gospel?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeaBNAXfHfQ
I love this one because you can see her sweating from under her wig, but she’s still just doing her music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOrhjgt-_Qc
Speaking of rocking old ladies, check out Cordelle
https://youtu.be/QRGrQCzOg8o
Is this Amy Winehouse’s ancestor? NO! But also MAYBE in Spirit! BEHold my RanDOM CAPItaliZATION!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC72TKOv13M
Metaverse commercials almost, but not quite, as awful as working there
Wait until Zuckerberg says he’s going to pay them in Bitocin since what they’re creating at Metaverse doesn’t exist, either.
Good evening, Mr. Snell.
Did anyone else see those black feathers before the Extra Point?
Yes.
Oh, good. For a second, I thought my schizophrenia was acting up.
Quiet! All of you!
— Other Redshirt
Nothing to see here. There are no droids
Dumbass Saturday taking points of the board.
/actually, can’t fault him for that, even if you know Matty Ice melted years ago
Climate change affects everyone
Although Saturday seems like a climate denier
*looks up*
*sees a shit throw*
*sees the refs bail out Indy*
*nods at the bailout call parity*
*achieves zen*
My Amazon FireTV Stick is preventing my TV from turning on. Whenever I turn it on, it turns it off.
Does it know something about tonight’s game that I don’t?
(considering you’re in Ohio, gonna assume the problem is you trying to plug a FireTV Stick into a 1973 Magnavox console)
You know I am tired of you guys bashing Ohio. We are not a bunch of backwoods hillbillies.
Ah, I got it! The aluminum foil connecting the HDMI stick to the rabbit ear antenna was lose. I’m back online!
Did you forget to prime it? Or, did you prime it too much and flood it?
I don’t need to prime it. I got it duct taped directly to the fuse box.
Did you fill it with 2-cycle by accident?
No, I got that fueling my dial-up modem. I just upgraded to the 56K and that requires a lot of fuel.
I don’t need to bash Ohio, your dwarven overlords that pace the boundaries chanting o-HI-o, YO-ho, do a fine job and I’m NAWT gonna fuck with them
That’s why we haven’t been invaded. I wish we had them in the Michigan-Ohio War. We lost the war and was forced to claim Toledo.
Condolences
Western Pennsyltucky managed to repel your attack, and now you’re forever stuck with Youngstown.
“Some sticks are just hard to get turned on by, you know?” — Deanna Favre
“You’re having a problem with a fire stick, really?”
-Early Hominids
(picks up club)
“Yeah, me need offering for firegod.”
“I think you’re focusing on the wrong things”
?h=34a2c81d&itok=fxTT7dPP
-Also Early Hominids
Early Hominid statues bring the PBS Road Show assessors to the yard.
Sexy Friday, circa 11,000 BC.
Nice kick return by Dallis Flowers, which is also a slang term for the brainstains on JFK’s limo.
Too soon!
Spoiler Alert!
I think I saw that Georgia O’Keefe painting
The kick return was great and all, but did you see Tomlin throwing a tantrum? That made it more fun to watch.
Chris Boswell is rocking a serious Aryan Nation look lately.
Well, when in…Indiana I guess…
Saturday trying to hit all the coaching cliches in that little interview.
He definitely wants to invest in Fight Milk.
Seems like a good night to make turkey chili
Also, any night.
White beans and tomatillos?
No, I’ve done that in the past, but I think I’m just going to go with black bean and tomatoes.
I had black beans tonight myself! We put them on our nachos.
How were the apple brandy/ginger cocktails the other night?
Nobody complained. Nobody had seconds either, though (of that or any other kind of hard liquor) so it might need an extra kick of something to put it over the top.
Also (always) acceptable
I love chili even more than Chili’s
Tomatillos are wonderful
This is the correct answer.
Damn. Now I want chili.
ah, I be going to bed early next Monday night, then
This game has been…whelming? Adequate? Definitely not cromulent.
I don’t think I would describe myself as whelmed by this game. It is decent background to rereading the Zola Story though.
Better than any Denver game?
TOO SOON, Abed!!!
These here horsies do NAWT have a V12
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2Ov5jzm3j8
For those of us that are Olds, Lil Nas X is a bright spot amongst the Youngs, dude is awesome
100 percent. Dude is amazing and not afraid.
Sorry Yinz lost the clean sheet. And I’m not referring to the cartoon box of shit that thinks I should have started using his service 4.5 years ago.
I had forgotten how Troy and Joe make a terrible game so very much worse.
Puedes tratar en español
Every-and I mean every-large company that I deal with has been absolutely ruthless with respect to letting go of the expensive ‘talent’. I’m absolutely convinced this will happen at some point.
Within our lifetime I’m sure we’ll have to choose between a 8-10 dudes as far as announcer choices go and they will be paid pennies on the dollar compared to what Aikman pulls in and they’ll get a commission based on views. It makes too much sense.
I’d pay for a “Dennis Reynolds and Charlie Kelly” broadcast, for sure
“Up in the booth, let’s pass it to Buddy Cole and Spam. Guys?”
“(sigh) Spam, I haven’t been this bored since my vibrator ran out of juice.”
“You’re exactly right, Buddy. I sure wish priests had access to vibrators back when I was an altar boy.”
This is a case where I probably wouldn’t hate an AI generated broadcast that was 40% cromulent and 60% absurd
YES!
This game sponsored by the AI-generated voices of Jack Kerouac, Bruce Lee, Hammurabi and Keith Jackson.
WHOA NELLIE
Next Week? Oh. My. God.
The third Dalai Lama, John Harvey Kellogg, Pier Paolo Pasolini, Pele, and a Trappist Monk!
So, like a Manningcast then?
En video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8JxZGhhiPI
“Didn’t even know what a five plus comment was. That’s when I took off to Toledo. Drove all night. The dirty windows of the hypocrisy were pumping my guiding light.”
-AI Jack Kerouac
Baby male horses crushed by metallic factory workers
That’s My Fetish!!
Ok, you didn’t quote anyone as part of your joke so, uh, oh! Um, yeah…
Guess Irsay can sack Saturday now, offer the job to the spunkiest stadium hot dog vendor
Maybe he’ll give a different day of the week a go
In Freezer Vodka I’ll end up at 3-9 this week, in
monkeymoney league I’ll be 9-3. Fantasy football sucks!**if someone needs a guy to join your league next year, I’m available
My luck is finally running out. 9-3 in monkey play, too. I’mma have to beat Spam a 2nd time to avoid the dreaded WC round.
SURTMOUNTABLE LEAD
Hush, you.
Woooooooooo!
My first questionable stream petered out, so now I’m on an ESPN deportes stream and i like the way they say Kenny Pickett.
Senor Checkdown?
What is “Uncle Jack” en espanol?
Pickens is making a case for being the best sideline catch artist in the league. He’s a frickin’ rook!
Evening, folks. The master bedroom is now back to normal after we spent the last week getting it painted. What a cozy place to drift off to sleep watching terrible football.
Did he call backboard?
Phillips Refinery, San Pedro, this morning
https://vimeo.com/776018435
Hope they aren’t expelling mystery dust!
https://www.ktvu.com/news/mysterious-white-powder-found-in-neighborhoods-near-martinez-refinery
Why?
Those residents got a free car wash out of it, so they should quit yapping. They live in Martinez.
I miss the pre-crisis 2000s, I had a great decadent life as a student/poker player. I miss getting comped nights at the Venetian cuz of my Ballmer poker buddy who didn’t know how firewood worked (he pulled up an entire sapling instead of collecting dry sticks)’s craps play. His name was actually Eric but we all called him Billy because Gypsy Pete said he looked like a Billy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVWOEx4Xdhs
This reads like a dream Jim Tomsula had.
Gypsy Pete was a used car salesman
Who’s truck was both his home and his office!
Still alive and one of the only good things to come out of Ohio:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEQ0l_m3Xm0
The term ‘security blanket’ comes from Peanuts
/revision/latest?cb=20190808175420
There’s a Charles Schultz museum in Santa Rosa I need to check out next time I’m there
His friends called him Sparky. I have no idea why I know that.
Peanuts kids were big Tigers fans.
It was on NPR! They interviewed his wife recently. It’s a great nickname
I’ve been there!
Some people I housesat for had a signed Charles Schultz illustration. I thought it was really cool.
Going to watch as much of this as we can stomach with SIL in Riverside, then we’ll drive home. I’ll try not to get into a head- on crash on the 10.
One has the real potential for serious injury or worse, the other is a car crash. Sophie’s choice, indeed.
The Matron Saint picked us, wooooooooo!!!
If you do please at least try to take out someone that deserves it.
Is Rodgers out West after that Philly game?
This is a fantastic song, but she probably should have gone to rehab
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUmZp8pR1uc
She say no, no, no.
27 Club is always looking for new members!
Having your first major hit song be about going to rehab is like having viewer mail on the first episode of your tv show.
Her father and boyfriend were real pieces of shit.
And they probably benefited the most from her success. Fuckers.
Given the piddling quality of tonight’s game one might hope that there would at least be an interesting end to my fantasy matchup, but I’m on the happy side of a fifty point difference and all my opponent Internet Dad has left is two Colts receivers.
I’ll beat Don T so long as my two players don’t score -5 points.
I could bench them, but I prefer to live dangerously.
Gumby would have won his yesterday if Green Bay’s defense hadn’t sucked so hard.
In Vodka League, Maestro will beat me if the Indy D scores at least 31 points more than Jonathan Taylor
I need 37 points from Pickens and Freirmuth….
It’s always weird seeing a Bengal with confidence. It’s almost abhorrent to nature itself.
NSFW (language)
https://twitter.com/CincyProblems/status/1597004551953190912
Of all the people to do that, Houshmandzadeh would’ve been near the bottom of my list. Hell, I’d bet money Kitna would’ve done that before TJ!
I completely concur. Housh was quite literally the only sane one on those teams.
That would’ve been even better if the dude didn’t get on a plane back to Kentucky/Ohio an hour later.
Apropos of today’s Yeah Right Day Off:
https://doorfliesopen.com/2016/09/03/breaking-news/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fQDnDKhcaM
I’ve never once seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
I’ve never seen Ghostbusters either
I just never bothered to see them
I apologize in advance for whatever this is tonight.
A lump of room-temperature gravy, wrapped in a Terrible Towel!
/just wait until Donks WOO!!! on Xmas Day
I have faith the Steelers won’t…
It’s not like they’re worse than…
Maybe sit this one out.
– Canadian on a first date
-at the Tim Horton’s Drive-Thru.
I thought that was Canadia for “butt stuff”