Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Do all the good you can, for all the people you can, in all the ways you can, as long as you can [in bed]
Hillary Clinton

Just going to hibernate until the spring then.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

---

— [Zoom Flies Open] —

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[runs in circles around quarantined bedroom wearing nothing but a Raiders bandana wrapped around his wing-wang and an N-95 mask]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and that’s why Rikki’s boss got several emails regarding work Zoom meetings
WCS

---

For those of you counting at home, that’s 7 losses in a row for the Bears, one away from tying their franchise record losing streak. Hosting the Bills and then at the Lions, they’ve got a good shot to break that record like it’s 70s disco demolition night at Comiskey.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

SO the ending of the game sucked, but this is pretty good

Sharkbait

---

A year ago I was scraping bottom. Almost at the end of rope. I had just fucked up on the biggest freelance project I had on my books.

Friday I got a killer performance review, bonus, and a raise. And a nice box of gifts from my employer.

On Saturday I beat my old boss into unconsciousness with my grandmother’s rolling pin.

So yeah, good couple of days.
jjfozz

You were in my basement beating someone else to death-just in case anyone asks.
scotchnaut

---

To paraphrase a similar komment from the former mothership, this guy is like a son to Andy Reid.

A lot going on the world but everyone take a moment to look up the Chiefsaholic fan who funded his trips to games by robbing banks in the same mask he wore to games. I’ve never been prouder to root for the Chiefs. pic.twitter.com/0eqIBEY1kn

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) December 19, 2022

Horatio Cornblower

In summation, Chiefs fan/bank robber is not a man of many contrasts.
scotchnaut

---

Imagine if MNF bumper muzak gets us all out the LDB Challenge!
King Hippo

I really don’t understand why you don’t watch the games on mute.

I have the Manningcast on one screen. Toluca v América on another. Both have closed captioning. And I have music playing.
ballsofsteelandfury

I really don’t understand why you don’t watch the games on mute

-The Marlee Matlincast
scotchnaut

---

That Elf on the Shelf pic is classic.
ballsofsteelandfury

clASSic
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

I have something I call a “Murphy’s Law Squeeze Play” which is basically a way of tricking the universe into giving you what you want by turning it into something you don’t really want. Yeah Right causing his Vikings to pull off the greatest comeback in NFL history is a pretty good example of how it works. By making it so he wouldn’t be able to watch the most important part of the game, he ensured that the Vikings would actually come away with the spectacular victory.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

/is anyone familiar with a “Come and Go” get-together?*

*please, no obvious jokes in the replies
scotchnaut

open to Karma Chameleons only
King Hippo

---

Still in the LDB game. Helps being on another continent, but the Bing-Bowie version is a real possibility.

2Pack

---

Also still in. And I went shopping at a mall with my wife and didn’t stop her from playing a Xmas carol channel in the car.

I’m basically yelling “didi mao! DIDI MAO!” at this point.

Horatio Cornblower

---

Ummmm…

Gumbygirl

---

As the winter draws colder, my _ will always keep me warm at night.

‘Just soak it in hot water before using, and it will warm you right up!’

-Buddy C., PhD.

BeefReeferLives

---

The weatherlady here in Columbus is expecting two inches tomorrow night!
BugEyedBoo

You married a weatherlady?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

“She’s a lucky lady!”

D. Favre
SonOfSpam

---

This bowl beating is done. Time for a Christmas classic:

WCS

---

SiriusXM is showing the abbreviation of Southern Alabama as “USA”, which is appropriate as Western Kentucky is one of the reasons why USA doesn’t succeed anymore.
Redshirt

---

All this talk about the blizzard reminds me of one of my favourite Letterkenny episodes, Sleepover.

It’s so good.
ballsofsteelandfury

That looks like one of those three-ways that nobody can ever speak of again smh
King Hippo

Which are still better than those 3-some you weren’t in. But your date was and the party’s at their house.
Don T

---

I just watched a movie called “The Enchanted Christmas Cake” and it didn’t actually involve a talking cake and yet I am still probably feeling 1/10 as disappointed as Jets fans right now.

As I said months ago, WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE THE JETS.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WCS

---

I’m heading to bed early. Shitty day.

Gumbygirl

---

Redshirt

---

Family (inside, under blankets and a heater): “Personally, I think its too cold outside to do anything.”

Me (outside, in three layers, gloves and balacava): “Actually, once hypothermia hits you and you lose all feeling, its not that bad.”
Redshirt

Meh, maybe time for a toque
-Northern DFO contingent
Game Time Decision

“-21.1 degrees? Might be time to turn the petrol on for the hot tub.”
Redshirt

---

As a reminder to the other drivers, slowing down to 15 MPM and putting on your flashers on a snow-covered highway doesn’t help the other drivers. On the contrary, it actually creates a hazardous situation as that causes us to bunch together and get impatient.

On the other side, going the posted speed limit when the other drivers are not is also bad. It causes the other drivers to react on covered roads and possibly hit a slick spot that they would’ve avoided had you not caused them to react. Moreover, the five cars spun out on the median and the ditch were caused by high speeds on the snow-covered roads. If you doubt me, feel free to try your luck.

Best try to keep up with the same speed as the other drivers while keeping extra, extra, extra distance between cars. Try to use the gas as little as possible and the brake even less; coasting down and using the covered road to slow you down while ensuring you remain in control.

This is your friend Redshirt, saying in the winter season and always, don’t forget the definition of Defensive Driving: driving with the knowledge that every other driver on the road is certifiably insane.
Redshirt

---

This is accurate

Sharkbait

Armed&Hammered (unfurls 430 page scroll): “Before I begin, just a few notes to get us up to speed….”
Horatio Cornblower

---

Okay everyone this is a public service annoucement. Be careful about drunk driving as we are getting close to Christmas and police are out there checking on people.

Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea.

Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the bar and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyzer tests.

Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I’ve never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(this joke was stolen from reddit which means it was probably stolen from somewhere else but I hope you enjoyed it)
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There used to be a bar near UConn, about a mile from campus, called Thumper’s. Thumper’s had “Nickel Night” and “Quarter Night”, where for a $5 cover charge you could get all your drinks for, you guessed it, a nickel or quarter per drink. No craft beer and all liquor was bottom shelf, but they would never cut anyone off. I saw one person literally push his stool back from bar, vomit on the floor, and pull back up to the bar. No one blinked.

Given the proclivities of such an establishment, Thumper’s also took the precaution of having a bus. This bus would drive around campus, pick people up and bring them to Thumper’s, then drive them back. One night I left Thumper’s early, (was a girl involved? I leave that to your imagination, but the answer is no, I had to work early the next day), long before my roommates came back.

I wake up and start getting ready to go to work. And what do I see on one of the desks but the keys to the Thumper’s bus. Turns out my roommate Mike had not just swiped the keys, but the bus as well. He wasn’t sure what happened; I found out later from other people that they’d had a joyride a couple of parking lots over. He’d kept the keys. None of them knew how’d they’d gotten home.
Horatio Cornblower

---

Meat Pie made, stoned, have a glass of red wine, redzone, DFO, fam sleeping, Litrepug asleep at my feet…how is this going to get Brocky’d up?
litre_cola

---

Merry Christmas eve all!

Guess what today’s fucked up update to “God Hates Brocky” happened today!?!?!
Brocky

You went outside and it froze your pants to your body so now you have to wear pants FOREVER?
Doktor Zymm

Damn, what actually happened don’t seem so bad now
Brocky

---

furiously zesting limes for my contribution to key lime pies for tomorrow so I can start drinking
Gatoraids

I kind of like “furiously zesting limes” as a fantasy team name
Doktor Zymm

Or a ska band.
litre_cola

---

I’m watching these games from my parent’s house right now. Haven’t done this in a long time. Gotta say, being forced to wear pants to watch RedZone is probably worse than being in prison.
The Maestro

---

WCS

---

First time lurker, longtime commenter, I don’t know how you all have the time for commenting. I read all the blogs but I can’t get to them until at least a few hours later. I have hilarious comments about everything* but I never post them because I’m always late. I’ll try and be better

*hilarity of comments is subject to license and registration and having the sense of humor of a 9 year old
Bogdanski

“Being late can cause problems.”

— Duchess WCS
WCS

The best jokes are the old tired and repeated jokes.
Mr. Ayo

December 25, 2022 12:25 am
“…”

— Shonn Greene’s locker
WCS

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh
Mr. Ayo

---

WCS

---

Merry Christmas to everyone! Especially WCS, Balls, Downfield Matriculator, Boo, me, and any other Stillers fan I’m forgetting because I am high, not because yinz aren’t my favorite. Cuz yinz are!
Gumbygirl

Wait! Beefreefer is a fan too! And I’m sure I’m forgetting someone else.

Gumbygirl

---

This lead was much smaller than the ones the Raiders usually blow.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think there’s a joke about Horatio’s dwarf here, but I’m not up for it.
Mr. Ayo

Go for it, he’s got the holidays off.

They have a hell of a union.
Horatio Cornblower

---

Stole this:

Rudolph the red meat reindeer
Makes a very tasty steak
And if you’ve never tried it
You should soon fix that mistake

All of the other reindeer
Make for some good eatin’ too
Carrots and onions and Blitzen
Make a most delightful stew

Then one foggy Xmas eve
Santa came to say,
“Rudolph with your flesh so sweet
It’s you I’m going to slay for meat!”

Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
“Rudolph the red meat reindeer,
Santa’s eating you not me!”
BugEyedBoo

---

THIS GUY AARON RODGERS, I CALL HIM RON DESANTIS, BECAUSE HE’S AN ANTI-VAX ASSHOLE WHO’S DOING THINGS IN FLORIDA THAT PISS ME OFF WHILE FOX PRAISES HIM
Dunstan

---

Merry Xmas from the Cornblower household.
Horatio Cornblower

---

My mother bought this ornament in July at a thrift store and has held onto it all these months to give it to me
Brocky

---

The P in Packers stands for Post-op because they have no D.
Mr. Ayo

---

Current state of the Denver Broncos franchise:

Redshirt

---

I got the best xmas present since a nintendo when I was 7 today.

Some of you know I am building a footy pub in my basement. Mrs. Cola bought me a wooden pub sign that says “The Pug and the Grasshopper Est 2022.”

I almost cried as it was a memory of Oxipug on a roadtrip back in the day. Thought I would share as we need positivity.
litre_cola

---

This Christmas is a memorable one. Beautiful gifts. I have my father a card that has his late mother’s signature on it. And my brother took one of our mother’s edibles and had a bad trip during gift exchange. He’s went through the confusion, fear, anger and paranoia stages and now in the subdued, slow-motion stage.

Seeing my parents talk him down is one of the highlights of all my Christmases.
Redshirt

---

All Brady had to do was retire last year, but instead he came back for one more year, destroyed his marriage, is playing like shit, and will likely be getting sued for endorsing a Ponzi scheme.

You love to see it.
Horatio Cornblower

---

If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.

Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

NOTE banner image from here