Your NFC Semi-Final Open Thread

Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. Yeah, kinda nervous. Each game played this year has been a revelation and I still can’t believe the Giants are here. The other thing I would note is that three(!) NFC East teams have made it to the second round, this after being such a laughingstock last year. It looks like the division is in a multiple-year window of very high quality play which I hope translates to success in the playoffs.

To The Game!

Giants/Eagles:

-Philly was 7-2 at home this year but the losses were head-scratchers to the Commies and Saints.

-Damn Synchronicity!: The last #1 seed to win the Super Bowl was these damn Eagles in 2018. (An Aside: When the Police album came out the local am radio DJ in my town repeatedly called it Sychron City)

-The Giants starting secondary of Jackson, Moreau, Holmes, McKinney and Love have only played as a complete unit five times this year including last week. They were 4-1 in those games and only gave up 300 yards once.

-These Giants are playing their fifth road game in six weeks.

-I’ve no doubt Daniel Jones will be scrambling quite a bit because Philly’s edge fellas have manhandled the team’s guards. A sliver of hope exists because Dimes throws at a 62% rate and has a 7-0 TD/INT number when flushed from the pocket. I would think that there will be a number of scripted rollout plays employed to deflect pressure.

-That Nasty Run Game: The Eagles rushed for 253 yards on 31 carries for a 8.2 (Yikes!) average in week 14. Wink’s blitz-happy tendencies leave the D vulnerable to power-gap rushing concepts which Philly excels at.

-Don’t even get me started on the Giant Killer, the wee Boston Scott.

-N.Y. will need a few explosive plays in order to keep up with the Eagles. The problem? They were dead-last in the league with 48 and 10 of them came against the Vikes.

Gah! So nervous…

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yeah right

I fully question my sanity by saying this but….

Sunday Gravy’s coming yo!

yeah right
Last edited 1 year ago by yeah right
Gumbygirl

I am ready for some foodball!

yeah right

Is this where we talk about good things and shitty football?

Because I can talk shitty football.

WCS

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LongtimeLionsLoser

“So can I.”

-Matt Millen

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, I approved 4 new pending users, but one appeared to be a Lions fan, so hopefully I don’t regret it.

WCS

Lions fans deserve sympathy, even among division rivals. Redshirt doesn’t deserve what Mike Brown has done to him.

herodotus450

I hope they don’t rub all their loser stink on me

yeah right

There goes the neighborhood.

LongtimeLionsLoser

Thanks for the approval.

Being a Lions fan is mostly an affliction, like leprosy or being related to Ted Cruz.

ballsofsteelandfury

Sorry your comments got moderated by the autobot! Hopefully that won’t happen again.

LongtimeLionsLoser

Oh no, that was my best work. I peaked early.

Gumbygirl

Hello, new person! I think you will find that the cool people here are Steelers fans.

LongtimeLionsLoser

I grew up going to football camps with Steelers fans. Cool was not how I would describe them, but I’ll trust that the Steelers fans here are better.

Fun fact: the high school, in Detroit, that Bettis went to would routinely beat the shit out of every school in the state at football, even though it was 1/3 the size, by enrollment.

Brick Meathook

Do you like airplane engines?

LongtimeLionsLoser

I do like Gladiator movies…does an Airplane reference make me too old?

Gumbygirl

Newbies!

LongtimeLionsLoser

[picturing the “Fresh fish!” scene in The Shawshank Redemption]

Last edited 1 year ago by LongtimeLionsLoser
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or Half Baked

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

40 seconds left in the game and Jones is still trying to get his receivers killed.

Gotta appreciate his dedication to the bit.

LemonJello

I haven’t seen Eagles deliver this kind of destruction since the opening days of Operation Desert Shield.

Horatio Cornblower

We’re going from “pay Daniel Jones $35 million a year” to “leave Daniel Jones’s dismembered corpse in the East River” in 7 days.

Mr. Ayo

Amazing how much money he cost himself today

Horatio Cornblower

The reaction to his having one pretty damn good game last week was insane. He’s simply not that good.

WCS

“And, now, in his New York Jets debut, starting quarterback, Daniel Jones!!”

Horatio Cornblower

To be fair Jones would be an improvement as the Jets QB.

LongtimeLionsLoser

“Do we have pictures of Daniel Jones’ mom? Asking for a friend.”

-Z. Wilson

Mr. Ayo

That was my takeaway last week. We have 3 years of history of him sucking. That hasn’t changed because he beat the fraud Vikings.

Horatio Cornblower

Exactly. The Vikings have been doing it with mirrors all year. Someone suddenly running it up on them was way overdue.

yeah right

The important thing to remember is that his greatest day was against a Vikings defense that was historically bad.

Sure.

Bet that family farm on him.

Senor Weaselo

I haven’t seen a New York team get pantsed by a nemesis in the playoffs like this since October!

Horatio Cornblower

Greg Norman seems like a real piece of shit.

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1616771598899355649

WCS

Continued failure at Augusta completely ruined him.

TheRevanchist

So did the millions he is collecting right now.

Sharkbait

Fuck him.

LemonJello

Quick analysis of the Giants’ performance tonight:

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Doktor Zymm

Okay, I’m calling it. Gonna go read in bed and consider myself one game away from the Eagles fulfilling my futures bet. BON NUIT YALL

ThePirateSloth

Well, time to eat an edible and go play a game. Till tomorrow friends!

Brocky

I’m posting this because we all know the giants aren’t coming back

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Sharkbait

My brother in law is on fire tonight*

*Might be high

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does this make the Eagles your uncle if they’re your BIL’s daddy?

Sharkbait

Good lord I hope not.

TheRevanchist

Fozz’s mother in law might also be on fire. Should probably alert the authorities before he hides the body.

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck that. I’ll bring the lime and a shovel.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ll bring the tequila!

Horatio Cornblower

My sister lives in that town. I’ve told her I hope her husband is at least as dumb as that guy.

She doesn’t think I’m very funny.

Senor Weaselo

Remember, he was here the whole time.

clint greasewood

Sudden Change?

Brocky

Woo whooooo!

More celebratory gifs!

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Last edited 1 year ago by Brocky
Horatio Cornblower

NFL_ASOIAF_Timeline.png

Welp, not getting another Game of Thrones book this year.

Doktor Zymm

Interesting. I’ve given up on ever getting another Game of Thrones book, does it work both ways?

Brocky

Honestly I’m just waiting for him to die so some authorized source can finish the series. I’ll take random writers at this point

Horatio Cornblower

I recall seeing some mention of someone taking over for him if necessary but can’t for the life of me remember where I saw it, or who.

That’s an absolutely thankless job that I wouldn’t take un…who am I kidding? Pay me enough money and I’ll write a bunch of pages about explicit torture, excruciatingly detailed menus, and the sort of sex fantasies written by people who think about sex far more than they have it. And those nerds will buy it, too!

Brocky

Supposedly the HBO writers were privy to the story’s future,

It’s unclear if the direction they went with was the one Martin wanted to go with

Horatio Cornblower

My understanding was that they went in the same direction, just in an incredibly rushed and shitty manner.

There’s some theories out there that Martin is taking so long to get the next book out because he saw how badly the last season went and is rewriting.

My own theory is that Martin has an enormous pile of money, isn’t getting any younger, and probably doesn’t want to chain himself to a typewriter anymore. And I don’t blame him a bit.

Senor Weaselo

There is much fullness. And jokes about Senorita Weaselo’s younger brother getting three or four red envelopes next year or sometime soon. (One from their parents, one from their aunt and uncle, one from Senorita’s older sister, and one from us).

Basically, “So when are you two getting married?” to us and her sister and her boyfriend.

ballsofsteelandfury

What is the meaning of the red envelopes?

Senor Weaselo

Red is a lucky color, and for Lunar New Year it’s to live a long live.

Senorita’s sister: “It’s all either luck, money, or longevity.”

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve been thinking this game was over for so long I was shocked there are still 10 minutes left on the 3rd Quarter!

Doktor Zymm

There’s a courtesy edition of ‘Readers Digest’ in the back of the notebook just for games like this

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’d rather be in Oz than a Giants fan at the Linc tonight

Brocky

Okay do I really want the giants to kick a field goal for the memes or should i just leave the memories alone?

Gumbygirl

.

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Brocky

You leave my dog out of this!

Last edited 1 year ago by Brocky
Gumbygirl

Mr Ayo is your dog?

Brocky

Naw, Mr. Ayo is my Dawg

Important distinction. One posts sexy pictures, the other hates the noise the automatic trash can makes.

Doktor Zymm

But both like a little scratch behind the ears

Brocky

But ayo doesn’t cower and isn’t afraid of a static shock

Gumbygirl

Fuck, this ended up in the wrong place. Meant for Mr. Ayo’s Kraken release down yonder. In my defense, marijuana.

LemonJello

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Mr. Ayo

Look, it can’t just stay in one place

Gumbygirl

You’re just showing off, with your regular bowels! Just you wait, sonny boy, there will be prunes in your future!

WCS

Dunkin’ should’ve hired this guy for their new commercials.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSvNhxKJJyU&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive

Horatio Cornblower

That might be their best skit ever.

“I fahckin’ love Dunkin’, guy!”

Horatio Cornblower

Did Paul Giamatti put all his money in Bitcoin?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not very brilliant

Sharkbait

Text from my brother in law:

https://youtu.be/-JlmvtAHhnc

Doktor Zymm

It would be kind of fun to watch the Eagles beat the hell out of Dallas next week, but that would mean the Cowboys won two playoff games in a row and that just seems unrealistic

Horatio Cornblower

Oh make no mistake; the Eagles will be playing the 49ers.

Mr. Ayo

Time once again to release the Kraken

litre_cola

How the fuck are they in 1st place????

Brocky

Because the nhl draft and or developmental program is shit?

Mr. Ayo

Because they are awesome

LemonJello

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Redshirt

Hard Rock Sportsbook current odds:

NYG: Spread: +27.5 (+105), Winner: +10000
PHI: Spread: -27.5 (-115), Winner: -20000

I couldn’t help it. I bet a dollar on NYG to comeback and win.

litre_cola

I need an AJ Brown td for one parlay and the over 48.5 for another.

Redshirt

The Giants are destroying almost all my parlays.

Brocky

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Sharkbait

Draft kings is +3600. I tossed a dollar on it.

Gumbygirl

This is a banger, in spite of that horrendous “dancing” by the Foxtards

https://youtu.be/cTaqn8_gMR0

WCS

Joe Davis on the call today because Tom Smith and Dave Jones weren’t available.

LemonJello

With Buck/Aikman jumping to tWWL, THIS is Fox’s #1 announcing duo?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game sounds like almost as much fun as being at Fozz’s house right now, so we’re going to keep watching LoTR since lady bfc has never seen it before. Fozz, if you need an alibi, you came to visit me.

WCS

Casa Fozz at least the chance of being competitive, unlike this game.

jjfozz

I’ve banged down two bourbons, and stayed out of the kitchen. i have no idea how my father in law hasn’t set that woman on fire

Doktor Zymm

He might have tried, humans are a lot soggier and difficult to ignite than you might think. Highly flammable clothing makes great gifts!

Horatio Cornblower

What was that SNK skit where Dan Akroyd was selling terrible Halloween costumes for kids? I think one of them was just a bag of gas-soaked rags called ‘Johnny Human Torch’

LemonJello

Invisible Pedestrian was another.

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Gumbygirl

Irwin Mainway!

Brocky

Here’s some halftime entertainment

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LemonJello

How’d you get a camera into the Fozz Estate?

Brocky

I dressed up like Bart oates and said I was a ghost

I hope someone gets this joke

WCS

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Brocky

As violent as he is I doubt he’d throw trash cans at his kids.

At least on camera

Doktor Zymm

Brand new trash cans like that are kinda expensive, no reason to chuck one unless someone else screws it up first

litre_cola

The Eagle D line is all over them. Dimes has 0 time to think.

King Hippo

I will respectfully disagree that Dimebag would ever think

King Hippo

Christ, not even a FIRST FUCKING DOWN

LemonJello

Who’d’ve thought the Jaguras would have a better showing in the playoffs?

Horatio Cornblower
Sharkbait

That’s awesome

Horatio Cornblower

My brother and I would absolutely drop the gloves at the slightest provocation.

Senor Weaselo

That looks like it should have been a double-minor for the high stick and embellishment for one of the siblings, and the regular 2 for the other.

Doktor Zymm

Ok, lead is 28 points, they can’t Chargers it, it would be its own new thing

WCS

Clotsing?

WCS
Doktor Zymm

Can’t put it in a natural history museum if you don’t kill it and put it on a spike first!

LemonJello

Eagles fans, how are you feeling after this first half?

Eagles Fans:

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litre_cola

Oh hell yes this has been orgasmic.

Doktor Zymm

That is NAWT the correct way to open a bottle of sparkling wine. Although I suspect something very fun is happening below the level of the camera.

Sharkbait

Live look at my bets

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Gatoraids

Going for 2 is just

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jjfozz

ok, i’m goign to go do a crossword puzzle. i will be gone for 10 minutes and then i’ll lose my temper and come back

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

If you categorize NFL teams, humanoid teams are most common (Bills, Giants, Chiefs, 49rs, Vikes, Buccs, Packers, Patriots, Raiders, Commies, Saints, Texans, Cowboys, maybe the Browns?)
Birds are next with the Eagles, Seahawks, Cardinals, Falcons, and Ravens.
Horses used to be quite well represented, but then the Chargers decided they would rather be something electrical like a phone charger instead of a charging horse

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do Bears count in multiple categories?

Doktor Zymm

I do hope they embrace that during their permanent rebuilding

ThePirateSloth

But the Seahawks aren’t even a real bird. Are they the only imaginary team?

WCS

All bird teams are imaginary.

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Doktor Zymm

If I’m counting the Texans as a humanoid team, then all imaginary teams count and that includes imaginary birds

Recovery Whiskey
LemonJello

There’s no such team named “Texans”

herodotus450

Steelers and Vikings are probably humanoids as well, just don’t tell the Saxons

jjfozz

Every Eagles fan I know is an insufferable fathead.

litre_cola

Hi!

King Hippo

he meant only the non-imaginary category of ppls

King Hippo

/or maybe he hates you smh

LemonJello

So, do the Iggles take their foot off the gas in the 2nd half and let the Gints back into this?