Perhaps we could have a competitive contest? Perhaps both teams could show up? I’ve no reason to be salty about the Giants given the season they had but I do like embracing my bitter side apparently. They finally have a good front office and coach in place and now they just need to close the talent deficit they have compared to the Cowboys and Philly. And team speed. There was a reason Wink played up to 7 guys in the secondary because he recognized what fans have been screaming about for two decades-the lb’s are too slow, being drafted specifically to stop the run game. I’ll shut up now.
To The Game!
Bengals/Bills:
-With Cincy down two starters on the right side of the o-line (three if you want to count Collins) look for excellent blocking back Perine to have an increased role as well as blocking tight end Mitchell Wilcox-they’ll chip in to help out the noobs.
-One should remember though that during the Bengals march to the Super Bowl Burrow was sacked 15(!) times in three games.
-We Have Snow Game?: Nope. A light dusting is called for early in the afternoon but that’s it.
-You would think that Cincy would want to slow the game down a bit but they are 29th in the league in rushing. Mixon averages a mere 3.9 ypc which is 32nd among 41 qualifying rb’s. To boot, they tend to run behind the right tackle-there’s another problem given their injuries.
-Last week Allen had two INT’s and a fumble but the damage wasn’t as severe as it could have been because Skylark Thompson. Burrow will pounce on any field-shortening errors made by Josh.
-If there is bracket coverage on Diggs, Playoff Gabe Davis will have to make another noteworthy appearance. He has a considerable height advantage on the opposing cb’s.
-On t’udder side-who does Buffalo put Tre’Davious White on? Higgins? Chase? A combo of both? It’s the old ‘pick your poison’ dilemna.
-There’s talk that lb Logan Wilson will be used as a ‘spy’ on Allen which is a wee bit interesting given that they were teammates at Wyoming. They were in fact so close that they had matching Truck Nutz made for their pickups! (this is not even remotely a fact)
Enjoy the tilt.
This game is now cancelled.
Buffalo advances.
A lot of back injuries on that play
Welp, I don’t think Buffalo is coming back and I need to go to Costco. so I’m out. Later tators.
I just jinxed the Bengals didn’t I?
Redshirt, I’m sorry but I just had a vision of the Bengals winning the Super Bowl this year.
I’m very sorry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEjWTDEkMaY
That’s gotta hurt. Why did you go there?
So the punchline of 80 for Brady is that Brady fucks them all at the end, right?
See comment below: they take turns pegging him for 80 minutes.
Sounds like a movie I would watch.
Bills defense inaction
Well chaps, I do believe this contest is finished. It shall be Burrow vs. Mahomes next weekend. I shall distribute copious amounts of earwax to ensure you do not have to listen to a word of Nantz and Romo!
Jesus fuck, who do I root for.
The meteor. It removes all parties, including Nantz and Romo!
chefs getting closer and closer to becoming greatriots west. right down to the racism
andy the sole redeemable quality
Allen has underthrown Diggs and Davis on two separate plays this game. Wtf….?
One thing I’ve learned from Daboll is that if the D is bunched up at the goal line, the other best option is to create misdirection and hand off the ball to the rb off tackle or let the qb run it in towards the boundary.
Look, I’ll say it:
I miss the yellow bar.
You’re supposed to call it an Asian-American bar nowadays
That ketchup and mustard MailChimp commercial has a bukkakey feel to it.
I think that’s why I like it
I wish the Bills luck in their quest to commit the smallest possible penalty.
Friend of mine has a theory that the ‘no body weight on the QB’ rule is actually causing more QB injuries than it’s preventing as it encourages both those sorts of ankle tackles and the body slams that got Tua. I think this will be the second full season of data for IQVIA to analyze with the rule, so it’ll be interesting to see what they find.
Also contemplating applying to IQVIA when I start looking for jobs, I don’t have a medical background, but it’s a really interesting area and they do have some jobs that are more pure stats oriented.
It would be awesome if you got a job with the NFL, moral scruples aside.
That’s kinda a neat thing about IQVIA, they’re an independent pharmaceutical company that the NFL contracts with to analyze the injury data along with all the data from the chips in helmets etc each year. So I could potentially work with that data and help make the sport safer, but without having to answer to the Ginger Hammer
stop bringing math into my Sunday!
Anyone want to come mount some shelves so I don’t have to?
Can’t handle mounting that much wood?
You know someone named “Shelves”?
Look, in the past two weeks I’ve assembled a kitchen cart and a bookshelf, so I’m kinda a big deal in this area.
I shall require single malt scotch.
If you can get here in the next 20 minutes, I’ll pour you a tall glass of scotch. (post successful shelf installation, I’m not a rube)
Is “shelves” code for hot girls?
[thinks about a Rick Mount joke because every other commenter’s mind is in the freaking gutter]
Having sucked Burrow dry, Romo switches to polishing Manning’s knob.
Always down to spill that tea(bag)
No call for the low hit on Burrow.
After seeing the 80 for Brady trailer, I’m pitching a new film: “Burning a Huge Pile of Shit for Two Hours.”
Slam dunk.
why would people go to movies anymore. 30 dollar tickets, 20 dollar popcorn, 2 hours of cinematic anal seepage written quickly for a buck (4 hours if its a comic book movie)
There’s a good market for cinematic anal seepage
To his credit, Brando tried to speed up the process by applying butter in Last Tango In Paris. His character was not rewarded in the end. smgdh…
My understanding is that people mostly don’t, unless enough stuff blows up to make the big screen worth it.
I’ll work on the French adaption, Merde en Feu
If you hated “80 for Brady”, just wait for the porn parody!
“80 Inches for a Lady”
“80 Take on a Lady”
“80 Ladies Peg Brady”
80″ For Brady, or 80′ For Brady, depending on how many guys show up.
80 Ladies for Brady.
“Why disappoint one lady when you can disappoint 80!”
It is about time for a reverse gangbang movie.
I wish I was as athletically gifted as Josh Allen-I might have won the scoring title in that intramural basketball league in Espanola back in ’02! I ended up third-such a letdown…
I know where that is
Eli Apple celebrating a play that he had nothing to do with. PUre asshole.
Since LemonJello invoked the Mormons below…
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/crabs-outbreack-brigham-young-armpit-sex-mormon-1234618175/
I don’t even need to read the article, the link says it all!
saw that eli apple was paired with diggs and knew immediately it was going up top to him
Ice LioUns finally fire Boudreau and hire Tochett. Tochett deletes his social media after people realized he likes questionable shit and now Fire Tochett is trending.
This is going to be a dumpster fire so epic it’ll live in infamy, isn’t it?
was before the hire. such a weird situation only the nucks can conjure up
That sucks for Bruce. Really nice guy. Bought me a beer once.
I did have a small victory last night in front of my mother in law.
My wife reminded my middle son – 15 years old and a professional asshole – he had confirmation class today.
“I’m not going. Confirmation is a money grab. It’s not a real sacrament. Dad said so.”
When did Bill Burr start coaching the Bills?
Romo’s balls are painted black and orange. Bet on it.
Painted?
He’s not getting another tattoo down there after all the trouble he had trying to get the Cowboys Star removed
You would thnk he would have the Star tatttooed over his starfish
Do they still drop every December?
This Joe Brandon guy’s a pretty good quarterback, I don’t know why everyone’s so mad at him.
Half Time When I was single:
Half time when I’m married with kids
I’m thinking most of those things can be done simultaneously with laundry sorting
With the excepton of the booty call
So, instead of the CBS halftime show, we here in LA are being shown news footage of the manhunt for the Monterey Park shooter.
Probably an upgrade.
Those Asians really take their New Year’s Day seriously.
Oh man. A thousand horrible comments sprang into my mind. Damn.
Half-Time Confession Time-
I’ll go first-I once watched Real Time with Bill Maher and thought it was a really good show. Now you. Don’t be shy.
I like getting (non Bob Kraft) massages.
You also like getting your balls waxed.
Yeah but everyone already knew that.
Remember, we have newbies here!
Aren’t they supposed to read the whole archive right after their paddlin’?
Stop! They need to learn the ways of DFO. It’s the only way to figure which ones are legit, and which ones are Texans fans.
Are there people who do not enjoy getting non-sexual massages? They’re fantastic
Me.
I have a buddy that once had a one night stand with a girl who only wanted to do anal.
Was she a Catholic? I bet she was a Catholic
Middle Eastern, actually.
I was gonna go with Mormon.
That fucking trend started after I graduated from high school.
There was a Newfoundlander in Lake Louise who didnt want to lose her virginity so she only did anal. Nice girl, think she is a yoga instructor in Montreal now.
I read Donald Trump’s I-Can’t-Believe-Its-Not-Twitter feed once a day, to remind myself why I’m no longer a Republican. Also, to know which hot button topics I need to avoid with the family.
I occasionally listen to Ben Shapiro’s podcast.
I bought a Spin Doctors CD
I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
I have a Spin ID for Wheel of Fortune. Yes, I confess, I am a wheel watcher!
That song was dire.
I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
I let the dogs out.
Tony Romo is gobbling cock so great that Linda Lovelace is jealous.
why did burrow not go out of bounds
Buy a chocolate Lab, they said.
This is last thing you see before you die.
It’s such bullshit. They don’t taste anything like chocolate.
Such a chickenshit punt. Bills deserve to lose.
I guess they couldn’t find their balls do to the cold. Fucking go for it.
Jay Feely is the ‘Kicking Specialist Commenter’ on this broadcast. I don’t want to know what his salary is.
Probably more than he made as a kicker.
I guess that’s why Bill Cowher has never bothered to coach again…
[runs away laughing]
Can you blame him? There are no consequences for being wrong as a TV talking head.
I haven’t read MNQ with Gregggggggg since the KSK days, but if Cincy wins this game, something tells me he’ll blame the Bills for not letting Cincy to host the game, followed by a “Ye God’s” line at the end
I thought Gregggggggggggggggggg was canceled or something.
I am sure he writes for the New Yorker or some other spot that “gets” his humoUr.
broke out the notebook and wrote game over after that coward punt
Hunter S. Thompson was the only writer to ever use “ye gods” with any impact.
I’m going to go put a flatbread in the toaster oven and play “what is a pizza?” instead
Mail me some so I can offer my insight.
“I NEED HER on my staff. Get her agent on the phone. NOW!”
-A. Reid
I have alerted the local members of the Sons of Italy and they will be at your door in a few moments. You’ve been warned.
italy has declared war
That sentence has never scared anyone.
/Ethiopia kicks rock
//misses
Home cooking refs?
The ball clearly jiggled four angstroms.
https://youtu.be/bEghu90QJH4
There is NO WAY that was conclusive
Boooooo.
I have a Burrow 3 td prop. Booo indeed.
“After further review, Chase is completely awesome but that wasn’t a TD.”
WHAT IS A CATCH?
“Not what I did a decade ago, apparently.”
-Calvin Johnson
The fix is in
They were doing fine until you got here.
“What is a catch?: Playoff Edition” is filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Bills are in trouble. i was waiting for this game all week, hoping for revenge.
At least we got rid of Roman. Although, to my disappointment, he was not taken behind a barn and shot.
Oh goody, we haven’t a good game of “what is a catch” in a while.
In my NFL, that’s a catch.
I can’t stand this lawyer ball bullshit
Guys, this JMarr Chase fella might be pretty good.
Just got back from the barn and it looks like the game is still being played, so I’m guessing that’s good news and there have been no near death experiences, hooray!
And snow game, awesome!
I’m okay with either team winning this one.
Well, good, because that’s exactly what will eventually happen.
How are your poopy hands today?
Still can’t get it completely out of my cuticles, but I’m not going to the barn tomorrow so I have over 24 hours without a fresh layer of mud so I might have a chance!
Burrow wide right on consecutive field goal attempts.