There is a very light schedule this week (no early fixture at all), so let’s also look back at mid-week in Shempions.
Oh my cats, y’all. The pure JOY of the Redshite melting down, in the home leg of the tie. Up 2-nil after 15 minutes of play, only to lose 5-2. With a trip away to Madrid still to come. Already out of both domestic cups and barely within pissing distance of Top Four – this was their last real chance to salvage ANYTHING from the season.
God bless Don Carlo – yes, he may have left Everton in a lurch – but (i) he still won a Derby at Anfield with us; (ii) we are too dysfunctional to have a world-class manager anyway; and (iii) he gave me perhaps the best Schadenfreude of my entire, spiteful life. This week is for you, good man.
NBC will continue its focus on the ass end of the Table, with Leeds/Sham Town getting the 10:00 TV coverage (USA). Still relegation-bound Everton (as confirmed by The Athletic’s stat model, which has Everton finishing 18th) streams against Villa on Peacock, in what should be a total piece of crap for the neutral. Lester/Arsenal is a much better option.
Spotlight Dance has the Cherries hosting City of Men (12:30, NBC). A proper yeah right/scotchy Derby! Expect Clubhouse shit talking to keep us entertained, as Pep fights to hold off ten Hag’s Men Untied for the Prem Silver Medal.
There is a bonus fixture I won’t watch, the aforementioned Redshite away to Palace (2:45, Peacock). BLECH, I know not to push my Schaden-luck.
Only one on Sunday, but at least it’s a tasty London Derby – Spurs home to reeling/basket case Chelski (8:30, USA). No doubt Tottenham feel that the 4th ticket to the Shemp is there for the taking. Whereas Potter’s men are doing pure triage, trying to build some optimistic foundation for next season. But I don’t see how they even qualify for ANY European footy next season, which will cause them all sorts of budgetary and man management problems.
Everyone loves a car crash when there’s no personal involvement, eh? Maybe just me. I really do suck.
Enjoy the football, we are almost done with February at least. Just 6 more agonizing non-FITBAW months to cross off.
I don’t watch much television. Recently surrendered my last social media account. Have no time. But am doing alright.
Part of that is not committing time to games of no interest (see: Arizona Diamondbacks).
I will miss Bobby Hurley. The 2009-2010 marked the end of Arizona’s 25 straight Tournament appearances. It was Miller’s first season and the cupboards were simply left bare after the Lute / Kevin Oneal / Lute / Ray Stantz / Miller carousel — and, even before that, Lute’s squads were slipping.
For the next five years, there was nothing interesting happening in the rivalry. Herb Sendeck was settled in and had ASU firmly irrelevant. Every rivalry game was a “nothing to gain, everything to lose affair” and it just wasn’t fun. Arizona was pushing national prominence again but, you know, the rivalry is no fun when their fans won’t even show up at home.
But then Hurley came in 2015 and it’s been awesome. Dude just brings immediate hate back into the rivalry. No one likes him and no likes ASU and they were going to be scrappy and overachieving and hated together. Fortunately, he has lived up to the stoking-the-flames-of-the-rivalry hype. Even when Miller put some bad teams his final years, it was nice to have Hurley there as always a worthwhile target to want to see lose. Next week may be the end if ASU goes 0-2 in the BIGSOCAL but I hope he got some security today.
An ode to Bobby Hurley post will be coming when he is canned. But I do not hope that time will be this year.
NOT TODAY
A most punchable face, if anyone has one. I still hate Hurley and Laetner.
Oh that’s so brutal. LOL.
HOLY SHIT ASU
That was amazing
Man, the partying on Mill St will be, um, I guess like any other night but still.
What in that absolute fuck. What a way to win.
https://twitter.com/ralphamsden/status/1629592333145497600
Didn’t even think about hitting the rim.
I’d have gone to Collins on a designed play if I were BFH.
But he just puts out some guys who play pickup together in Reno and he’s like, “I’m gonna beat Arizona!”
Look at the numbers on the back of their jerseys and ask me if I’m worried about ASU here…
OMFG
Utah announcer: who is having fun today?
Crowd cheers
UA: I thought so.
Utah is the fucking whitest place south of Canada.
Does Canada have its own White religion?
Any religion in Canada is a white religion?
I don’t know anything about Canada religion. I assume it has like Norsen(?) Roots?
It’s called hockey.
/enters chat
Nuking the planet on your own crappy way out is P R E T T Y white.
“Da!”
Had lunch at a Korean fried chicken restaurant. K-Pop was playing on TV. Watch that for a few minutes and Chris Hansen shows up to ask you some questions.
The denizens of this site have enough red flags already…
Those people are all weirdly smooth. Like Barbie dolls. I saw an ad for that movie about the AI doll, Megan, and I thought she looked like a K-Pop girl, without the K.
Yeah that’s….
I guess I’m curious if, in Korea, do they see these performers as wholesome?
Hong KongCNN —
Police in Hong Kong said Saturday they have arrested three people following the discovery of the dismembered body of model and influencer Abby Choi.
Parts of the 28-year-old’s body, along with a meat slicer, an electric saw, and some clothing were found in a rental unit in Hong Kong’s northern Tai Po district on Friday afternoon, police said in a press release.
Makes sense, when you dismember a model, you’re gonna want her thin-sliced.
/Newcastle United ownership takes notes
Must be weird being a model and trying to live that life every day….
Oh, it is.
I have to eat like a total pig every day just to dial the secksy back to mere mortal levels.
By her ex-husband and his parents.
I mean, she did owe them about 10MM, so there’s that.
Hostel is a documentary.
And an instructional video.
Fun family!
This sounds horrible but they really shouldn’t refer to the victim as an “influencer” if they want readers to experience any kind of sympathy for her.
Aw, I missed “How to be an alcoholic and get away with it” conversation. I was really good at that! I have the medical records to prove it.
I’d like to hear more.
Turns out, if no one can smell gin on your breath, and if you find a reason not to drive anywhere, you can be drunk all the time!
Until your body says “We’re on strike,” and things get weird.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [complains about vacuuming noise]
DR. MRS. DEADLY: The animals have been tracking dirt into the house from the yard. I need to vacuum now more than ever.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: It’s been raining all week. The animals haven’t been outside in days.
DR. MRS. DEADLY: When they’re cooped up in the house they shed all over everything. I need to vacuum now more than ever.
But that would make the vacuum dirty. Who’s gonna vacuum the vacuum
/ducks thrown vacuum
RIKKI TIKKI DEADLY
Artist’s Interpretation
Reminds me of the GOP’s economic policy. “The economy is struggling, we need tax cuts to stimulate the economy” and “the economy is doing well, it’s time for a tax cut to give the taxpayers some of their money back!”
I don’t know how Tommy Lloyd can ever win a title before he figures out what to do with his bald spot.
Watching UA ASU as Blax suggested/directed. Good game so far.
Hurley gotta win this one. Else the school may leave him in the dirt lot when the bus heads back to Tempe this afternoon.
He’ll always be “annoying little Duke fuckwad” to me.
This game is like EL BLAXSICO
Alabama having a “White-Out” day, which is very on-brand.
Now we’re getting somewhere!
Al O’Pecia for Arkansas just had a breakaway dunk.
How many deaths resulted?
Now I’m a homeless drunk who lives in the woods!
Damn. I wish the homeless looked like that around here.
Gonna get a bunch of these vintage ads and put them up in our new kitchen and see how long until my wife murders me.
Wow, that’s sexist and large!
Can’t believe Deanna got the wrong end of that bargain.
Ms. Cornblower: [on phone] “Hey, gonna need your help with a little cleanup.”
Ms. Deadly: [snaps shut custom-made carrying case for her Dyson] “I’m on my way.”
Whatever this product is, Deanna Favre will take two.
Get him a couple of cigarettes while you’re at it; never too early to learn to look cool.
And for Christmas? “Baby’s First Bar”, now with more day drinkers!
PREACH!
Seemed to fit with the “gin-and-coffee”, “vodka-and-milk” conversation down below.
I’m waiting for Sharkbait to do a post on our “cocktails”. Just need a few more contributions.
Laaaaaaaaid back
With my mind on my crushing debt
And my crushing debt on my mind
/pictured
Bjork having second thoughts about selling out
That headline might as well have said “Marriage Material”. Oh, just me? k
The Fightin’ Horatios, Netball Division, are laying the wood to the Red Storm of St. John’s, which I think means Señor Weaselo and I are fighting.
You guys should’ve met at MSG for beers and then fisticuffs.
What kind of shitty AYSO uniforms are City wearing?
Did they get free bowls of soup with them?
They sent all their money on the latest software upgrades for Haaland.
Bournemouth are distracted by the ugliness Effective strategy.
I spent the morning counterprotesting the Proud Boys outside a drag queen story hour. Fuck those fuckers for coming into my neighborhood with their hate, but happy to report only a handful showed up and dispersed when they saw how many of us (and cops) there were.
Good man, there will be an extra story on your house when you get back.
The cops were on your side? That’s nice for a change.
It was qwhite nice.
Mall cops but yeah.
Someone get BFC a beer and a rhinestone cockring stat!
Damn, I think I could’ve made that goal.
(Would have missed the ball completely and fallen on my ass)
Too easy for that Viking guy.
I would have needed to be carted off after the miss due to pulling every muscle in both legs
Maybe Bournemouth would do better by switching to the NFC?
BANNER this Bastard Man
It would be nice if they could organize any offense at all. They spent a good 90% of the game in reverse.
Dear Lawyer DFO:
[waits until boos die down]
I found the anthem
https://youtu.be/KjCYRW5DQXQ
That made me want to hurl, so good choice?
Oh good, I wasn’t the only one. Class action lawsuit then?
Local club is doing OK in C Series.
That woman needs pasta, stat!
You mean a Hippo shoulder massage
Yeah, she’s pretty. Pretty thin, amirite?
smoking is a sport here for girls like her, so they miss out on the outstanding food. pretty sure she is sporting bolt ons too, if I get a chance I’ll investigate…
Ah, report back good sir.
Speaking of milk, my folks had a friend whose drink of choice was whisky with milk and salt. My take? The 70s were crazy. Maybe the best-ever time to be between drinking and infertility age.
For us white men fo sho 🤪
That reminds me… [Freezer Flies Open]
Top of the table!
Now to put a big splash of gin into my coffee and root for Bournemouth against Man City.
Mmmm pine coffee.
Gin can go in there?
It’s going to continue raining all day (right now I can hear sirens!) so I’m going to make some blueberry pancakes and play The Last of Us all day.
Filmed right here in Southern Alberta
Much like the good Lord Rhodes wouldn’t mind an additional diamond mine or two, I wouldn’t;’t mind another Arsenal goal in the next few minutes.
You have to feast when times are good so that you’ll be prepared for times of famine! Having said that, I can’t say that I know much about famine (other than from these “stories” that my manservants tell me).
Oh when the Saints/
Go marching out/
Oh when the Saints go marching out (of the Premier)/
Oh how I want to be in the stadium/
When the Saints go marching out!
That would be last Sill horcrux!
Who?
Is that guy they keep zooming in on Leeds game George Santos?
“Yes”.
-George Santos
“You mean the ‘Angel of Dunkirk’ war hero George Santos.” – George Santos
::writes in George Santos::
-Georgia Voters
Well Hippo, at least the cellar battle is a draw right now. (I still believe yous staying up)
Counterpoint – no. But we’ll have the best keeper in the ‘ship by a mile!
Aroela sighting in the West Black Forest Ham derby!
Nip slip x2?
So Impressively Dissappointing
It’s almost like 2 fluke goals didn’t really change anything fundamentally
Speaking of 2 goals…
Milk and vodka, though. Why’d yinz try that?
Young, dumb, and desperate. It’s all I had available that evening.
Newcastle was postponed but I don’t know why.
Caribou Cup final tomorrow
I will allow this lady to serve me a root beer as compensation.
Beer isn’t the only thing thicc in that picture.
I used to really enjoy that (in the days before craft beer was readily available) but man oh man, did those brown ales hang me over like a muthafucka
Newcastle Brown, can sure smack you down!
I haven’t had a Newcastle in a very long time
That should 100% be the prize money
Lack of funding?
Dirty oil money running low?
Saw sharpener broke down?
Outstanding finish by our Brazilian pizza delivery boy! Onward to glory!
So nice when our exotics can do something besides tap rubber trees or scratch diamond from the earth, eh your Lordship?
/sips gin
You took the words right out of my gob, dear fellow!
TRUE HIPPO STORY – for an Everton match several years back (when I still had that hope that kills you), I tried putting gin in my coffee (in lucky NSNO mug)
Words cannot amply describe just how foul that was.
I have had some fucked up libations but gin and coffee sounds deplorable.
I had previously snuck airplane bottles into a college football game, tried mixing with Sprite (which made some theoretical sense as a ghetto gin and tonic – but if anything was even worse than the coffee)
A good manservant would have discretely talked you out of that.
I never thought a concoction more vile than my experiment with milk and vodka could be bested, but you good sir have delivered.
When it comes to vile shite, I am always THERE FOAR Y’ALL
Good day sir. I hope your plunder is large today on the dark continent.
Just saw the Arsenal replay. That’s a foul, and a pretty dumb one.
grumble grumble you know who else is foul and pretty dumb grumble grumble
No score in the Black Forest Ham Derby
Trashbird Trossard with a screamer!
That might be a title winning signing
VAR’d.
Gooner Twitter Reacts Reasonably?
A couple seem to be reacting reasonably, saying Ward clearly interfered with the keeper, but for the most part they’re convinced that “they” don’t want Arsenal to win the League, so “they” are conspiring against “us” even though “we” aren’t actually on the team.
For the record: Real Madrid loathing is deferred during Hippo schadenfreude. That’s my Lent thang.
I have never been so thrilled by a 5-2 win by my 2nd-least favourite footed ball side!
Yep The blue scum in North Fulham and the Madridistas, that’s my list.
The subtitle could be Kyle Orton’s biopic
I am only here so I dont get fined.
Your grill looks nice and shiny, dawg
Mind your chickens
HEAR ME, AFRIKAN!
Despite your admonitions, I am streaming #DoucheStrong
Well, OF CORSE U R #BastardMan
Are you saying I don’t need to link you to the Charmslinger article in the Athletic?
I was waiting for that! Yeah, not a great read but THEY JUST WANT 2 CANSULL HIM FOR BEING SUCH A STRONG XIAN OBVS
Streaming the Clubhouse favourite Pistoleros.
Greetings y’all, from exactly 12 hours ahead of Pacific time! Another good reason to enjoy the Chelski meltdown is that it hopefully tracks the continuing shittiness of the Russian military after a full year of failing to overrun Ukraine, may they continue to suck in unison!
May they continue to suck forever!
UA hosts ASU today. Can’t make the trip to McKale but have my flag out and my shirt on for the gym today.
It’s on CBS at noon. We should all watch and comment.
The Pac-whatevs is terrible basketball yet somehow still better than the fast-decaying ACC
Your on the spot, friendly Napoli update, week 24 of 38 still comfortably in 1st place by 15 points. Playing tonight. And my blatant excuse to highlight Marika for Balls, Hippo and me.
Very friendly.
#HugeTractsOfLand
Oh Marika…