Next week, while I am traveling (I know, not looking forward to that experience whatsoever) Hippo will miss the last international break of 2022-23. Which is to say, hooray for me.
All things considered, a reasonable slate of fixtures. Because of misaligned DST, we start later than usual (8:30, USA) with Sham Town hosting Spurs. Holy cats, are Spurs ever roiling in turmoil right now. But Top Four is still well in hand, if Conte can just be arsed down the stretch. We shall see. Saints, like everyone at the arse end of the Table, is showing a faint pulse. Maybe we’ll get a little drama, or at least testiness.
Three Peacock streamers at 11 (with no USA coverage, very annoying) led by Beesus/Leeds. I mean, that seems less dire than the other two. Damning with faint praise much?
USA is back for Still Quite Disappointing Everton against the Recovering Chaos Club Chelski at 1:30 EST. There is also basketballing, if one is so inclined. The afternoon there proceeds as follows:
#13S Fur Men (+6) v. #5S JV Hardwood BOLTMEN! (12:10, CBS)
The above pic is what resulted from my Highly Questionable Google search (hot purple furry). You’re welcome, America. Upstate SC’s finest gave us a truly bananacakes ending against Wahoowa, and saved us from the inevitable 41-40 win the Hoos would have scraped over the similarly defense-minded sinew harvesters.
#5E Dook (-3) v. #4E Headliner, I Challenge You To a Game of Horseshoes (2:40, CBS)
A game of horseshoes! But fuck off if CBS thinks I am going to watch a Dook squadron that is peaking at the right time. Napping is always the right choice in such cruel times.
Found out Mitsuwa moved off of Western and into the Del Amo Mall. And it sucks now for grocery shopping, unless you are buying candy or chips.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN9CjAfo5n0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8VXnvbc1c0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXBdHmWMuCc
Dude.
No internet here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SYwLZ-riqg
Goddamn old South Park was great. Truly a worthy successor to The Simpsons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cw1ng75KP0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K59w3dUdgzs
Such a brilliant use of this song.
Ann’s voice sends shivers down my spine, in the best way. Amazing, no one else can belt out a tune like her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTzGMEfbnAw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEMm7gxBYSc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3GA2d-J2_A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m7njvwB-Ks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYjZK_6i37M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqydBaa1QR8
Just wanted to break in here and let you know that Mrs. Horatio makes the best goddamn corned beef on the planet and that I am also drunk.
There was a lot of editing to this comment.
But seriously, her corned beef is stupid good.
Roll Damn Tide.
One thing you can say about Alabama is that they’ve always got a shot at either a win or a young mother, and also that 72% of the team probably has hookworm.
OK, that’s like three things, but my main point here is fuck everything about Alabama and also UConn already beat their treasonous asses by 15 this season.
Men’s room with ashtray and Hanoi Jane (formerly Hillary Clinton) urinal targets
Arlington VA
Paul Wolfowitz would look pretty good right there.
I’d say Trump, but he’d enjoy it. Freak.
Maryland is playing exactly the same as they did against WVU.
HAIL CHAOS
Can remote controls become suicidal? Mine has randomly fallen on the floor with significant impact three times now this week or so.
Maybe you have a ghost cat?
Shitten haunting me makes sense, hence her name.
Who gets paid more for one game: UCLA starting point guard or XFL back-up quarterback?
Definitely the UCLA point guard, even before the NIL stuff
I think it’s the opposite: XFL plays ten games, college hoops ~30. Over a season, Whitey McWhite for UCLA makes more.
I would take my salary in cheerleaders.
I blame the NCAA
I’m just here so I don’t get fined
I haven’t heard this many whistles since Rex Ryan attended a grape-stomping competition.
It was at a winery, in case anyone was confused.
NASCAR: Xfinity Series driver parks car on track during race in protest of NASCAR officiating (msn.com)
Personally, I would’ve driven my car out of the speedway, onto the surface streets, leading a high-speed police chase the home of the head of NASCAR and done donuts in their front yard, but to each his own.
NFL Network is advertising a 1983 game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Washington Commanders. I hope the NFL used some Post-Production Special Effects or time travel because if I see/hear the name/logo of REDACTEDs, I’ll be upset and disappointed.
That’s when they were the class team of the league, the name was somewhat forgiven for that. They were the anti-Cowboys in every way.
Success can rationalize everything.
“Thanks for asking me to the prom, but I already said yes to the asshole with the Camero and cabin by the woods.”
“I’m going to go to quit football, go to Johns Hopkins and become a doctor so I can help people.”
“…and pass up a free ride at Alabama and a near-certain NFL career?! Over my dead body, son!”
“You voted for the Republicans?! But they are anti-gay, pro-gun and evil!”
“Yes, they are…but the economy is good and my 401K is blowing up right now!”
Thanks a lot, Missouri. Guess I’ll have to save this clip for next game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j_G6lvZ8GI
Duh
224 D Street SE
Washington DC
Rock. Chalk. Walk…. home.
Jeebly Crickets! The end of Ark/Kan-sass is funtastic.
Credit to the refs for not being afraid of blowing their whistles. I didn’t *love* it, but at least they didn’t hide behind “letting ’em play” to avoid making tough calls.
I am an instant fan of Ricky Council IV.
Not gonna lie-one of my favorite non-Sillycuse games was watching Princeton beating UCLA.
I have been informed that in order to cook “butter chicken” you must have more ingredients than just butter and chicken. This seems wrong to me.
Well, Rikki’s version is much simpler, then. Fuck the haters.
Hmm, perhaps I should work out a recipe for chicken rikki masala.
Does that come with a homemade white sauce?
Ew.
The beer is usually assumed.
“Do you have a Dust Bunny recipe? Not that you’ll ever find one in this house.” [sets Dyson on ‘maximum suckage’]
-Ms. RTD
What a weekend. Skied yesterday in the pouring rain with my dad and cousin, visiting from Yellowknife, which despite all of us being drowned rats, enjoyed the lovely soft snow conditions and a nice home cooked meal and shit ton of drinks. Woke up at my parents’ place and continued to mooch off their food, finished off a metric dick ton of marking at the kitchen counter like I was back in high school, went on a great hike, and now get to enjoy a second massive dinner and drinks with family. After working all week over March Break, I also finally have some time to just sit and chill and watch March Madness like God intended.
Also, Duke lost. Life is good.
Please clarify. This sounds like you weighed and measured your junk using the kitchen scale.
“Everyone is big in milligrams!” — Brett F
I will neither confirm nor deny this.
He needs to mind his bizness and measure his own dick!
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ: [walks into room] What the fuck?
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Gumbygirl told me to!
I’ll write you a note.
Cheering for Princeton feels like cheering for tax cuts-in the short term it feels good but you know in your heart it’s a really bad thing.
Think of the eating though!
This tourney is a nice antidote to last March’s Personal Hippo Hell.
Yeah, March has also been running a train on me as well.
Well done Vols
/ turns it off before they start playing Rocky Top
Can Duke stop being a thing now, or are they going to be like Nebraska Football, resting on the laurels of yesteryear?
Welcome to springtime Notre Dame.
HAPPY DUKE SCHADENFREUDE DAY EVERYBODY!
“For a tradition unlike any other.* The Masters.”
*I’d say excluding people of color for as long as possible is a very popular tradition
“But they get football, basketball, track and field and the women. Sure we can keep golf, money and power!”
Vols hitting their shots.
-V. Putin, Moscow, Russia
Love the intensity of this game-what the tourney is all about, imo.
It’s a good one
Vols’ coach Rick Barnes grew up a State fan, and loathes Dook and U*NC with a passion.
That’s a win for him. An NCAA title after 36 years coaching? Zero.
For the 3rd game, I encourage everyone to pronounce the respective sides Ar-KAN-zus and KEN-saw
Reminds me, I need to buy sassa-fraw
“We’s bin doin that thar fer furever!”
-folks born in The Appalachians
Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to be happy if Duke loses, but it won’t taste the same without Coach Ratface screaming at the refs.
Scheyer already is a perfectly cromulent asshat to loathe.
A noble hatred for Scheyer embiggens us all.
Coach K had a preternatural ability to recruit easily hateable white guards-Quinn Snyder, Billy McCaffery, Chris Collins, Steve Woj-a-majigger, J.J. Redick, Greg Paulus and of course, Grayson Allen.
“Ahem…”
-Bobby Hurley
I do love the nugget that I read-that after his freshman year the coaching staff put together a tape of all his bitching and whining after ref’s calls and set plays that didn’t go his way. He cut down on that habit quite a bit during the following years but it was still there in tight games.
There has to be a reason Ratface chose him. Perhaps he has the best recipe for barbecuing babies, etc.
The Volunteers sure can play defense.
Did Everton tie Chelsea or did Chelsea tie Everton? I need to know if can make fun of my father or not.
The former. Everton was down 0-1 and 1-2. Equalizer at 88′ and then some stoppage time weirdness.
I seem to be here alone, so I’m just going to post anti-Dook messages for awhile.
I just got in from the gym and just headed out to walk the dog.
Too nice a day for TV.
/is immediately struck by lightning.
“You’ll be back”. (They always come back)
-TV
The weather here is going from sunny to snowing white out and back. Fun times
When customers call in wondering when they’ll get their order (under certain circumstances) I’ll text a driver asking why he’s running late. Sometimes I’ll just get a pic thru a windshield of a highway that has no discernable lanes. I appreciate the passive-aggressive humor.
I shan’t watch until Dook tears start falling. IF and when.
#FifthPill night at Casa de Hippo
O AN U NOE HIPPO GON PILL BULLEEEEE DAT CHUH CHUH
It’s time for a matinee edition of Release the Kraken.
Oh, dear Lord. I’m sorry, Hippo.
Good morning! I think I’m going to go back to bed.
It’s such a nice day here that we’re going to wash the dog. Poor little thing *hates* taking baths so we only do it when it’s nice and sunny and warm out.
Explain to the dog that it’s either a bath or a vacuuming.
You know she vacuums the dog! She probably vacuums Rikki. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Oh, the dog wouldn’t sit still for a vacuuming. It would actually be nice to be able to do that because she sheds like crazy after a bath.
That ad suggests….taking a box of one’s shit out to eat with your group of (perfectly diverse) friends?
Sponsored by the International German Tourism & Culinary Board.
Yesterday, I spent a few minutes explaining Protestantism to my cat. But then I realized he already knew, and I should stop being a doofus.
“Dude we already went over the Nicene Creed YESTERDAY, now, bring up some sexy cat videos on that glowing rectangle of yours.”
-Cat, probably
“You can keep blabbering all you want, just know that if you die, I’m feasting on you until there’s nothing edible left.”
— Cat, definitely
That the sack for Conte?
Turns out it was fake fur.
But cruelty free smh THANKS NOBUMMER!!!111
Got a busy Saturday today. Massage appointment, 10 hour sous vide going, another 3 hour oven prep. Then as much beer as I can possibly drink.
I’ll endeavor to persevere!
stay hydrated
“But don’t overdo it!” – Peyton Hillis
Shoutout to the Men of Fur
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwzaifhSw2c&ab_channel=HernanMelgarejo
Waiting for the wife to get ready to head out. Going to be a while.
Not really the start we were looking for, Cherries.
Watching Cool Hand Luke while waiting for the games to come on. Is there anybody out there?
A young scotchy had an ‘awakening’ after seeing that scene.
Hippo overslept and turns out no footy here until 11. What we got here is….FAYLEYUR to communicate
Everyone else is sleeping off St Paddy perhaps.
/judges them in WASP
[snaps to attention]
Present, sir!
She knew exactly what she was doing.
They all do. And we love them for it.
Just put the coffee on, and am getting ready to make some corned beef hash
A bit more content there on a: hot purple furry search Buddy. Thanks for the tip. Napoli plays tomorrow so I’ve given Marika the day off.