Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between Doug Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the sixteenth edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally but not today ) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.
- It’s Wednesday, Memorial Day Weekend is coming up, and of course there are weddings to attend. I think it’s…fine to get married on a holiday weekend. A little selfish, but fine. I look forward to assessing the traffic and then being cranky.
- Did you ever think about how important spaces/kerning are? Getting waylaid isn’t nearly as good as getting way laid.
- (That was a BFC original)
- One of my biggest (work) pet peeves is when you ask someone if they have anything to add and they say “no, I think [3-5 minutes of something they added].” Just say “yeah, one quick point” or “no” and end your fucking sentence.
- One of my biggest SAFETY pet peeves / ridiculous trend I’m seeing around town is people using 4 way stop sign intersections to make U turns. I see it 2-7 times a week and holy shit is it unsafe every time. Assholes.
- Does anyone know how much Benicio Del Toro got paid for Avengers Infinity War? He was in it for like two minutes, and the hourly rate had to be astronomical. I hope he got points on the back end, too, that weirdo has earned it.
- As some of you may know, I rewatched Major League the other night, and honestly, my biggest question may be why were so many Clevelanders wearing their hardhats inside of a bar?
- In case you couldn’t tell, this is a Karen Carpenter job, so i reserve the right to come back and add more bullets and links. Also known as U Street in the late 80s.
- Let’s once again close this with another full in the blank: “I was glad to see the Lakers get swept, but what i really wanted to happen was __________.”
They’re releasing The Flash movie? I thought that was on hold because the person playing Flash was a violent felon.
RIP Tina Turner.
Did not realize she was 83. Would have guessed 70, 72 maybe. She was pretty damn good.
Co-Worker: “Aw, Tina Turner died!”
Me: “She was still alive?!”
Ike never could finish anything
Me, to wife: “Hey, Tina Turner passed away”
Wife: “Aw, that’s too bad.”
Wife, singing: “Simply the best”
Me, singing: “Deader than all the rest”
She may leave me, but it waas worth it.
Holy damn that’s good.
One of my absolute favorite interactions with a guest (that didn’t include sexytimes) when I worked at that hostel was when I saw the story about the pope dying and told her “no more Pope.”
“He sure is dead!” she replied.
Benicio del Toro is a national treasure on both sides of colonial politics. Furthermore,
If they are the only car at a 4-way stop or delope yield to all traffic until they are the only car, u-turn is fine. If not, it should be legal to get behind, get under their bumper, get them loose and into the curb or ditch, because a standard 4-way stop has barely enough room to pull off a u-turn and your disrupting the flow of every else.
If I’m there to witness it, clearly they are not the only car.
Speaking of Benicio Del Toro, I think a rewatch of Snatch is in order.
How’s everyone feeling about summer break?
I kind of miss the pre-pandemic years or even during pandemic years. Kids seem to be way too much Lord of the Flies in public. Latest breed of parents seem to be falling below standards.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Herod had good ideas.
To be fair, American schools are trending that way.
That Gen X takedown is All History Awesome imhfo, k?!
Will have one, this year 🤞🏻
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I was glad to see the Lakers get swept, but what i really wanted to happen was for the damned sun to come out. Might as well be living in Seattle with how it’s been here pretty much this whole month.
Really longing for the days of that record-shattering drought, are we?
Yes, now that we have enough water to last for the next…[checks water usage rate for Los Angeles]…four months.
There’s a special place in Hell for people like these. It’s called “management”.
meh, I work in the print industry, so shit like this bothers me without management being involved.
I meant Hell Management.
“I was glad to see the Lakers get swept, but what I really wanted to happen was for a supervolcano to erupt at center court and erase them and their fans in attendance from the face of the earth.”
Re: hard hats in bars (Major League): If you lived in Cleveland, wouldn’t you expect the roof to come crashing down on you at any moment?
It’s Cleveland, I’d expect the sky itself to come crashing down on me at any moment.
Or a meteor. Or some divine punishment like giant bowling balls filled with plague.
They’ve already got burning water and locusts covered, so just keep checking off the list.
“I was glad to see the Lakers get swept, but what i really wanted to happen was for the same thing happen to the Vichy Whalers.”
And it’s on the table tonight.