Sunday (Biscuits and no) Gravy

Flower cake

So, to give our esteemed yeah right a week off of these Sunday Gravy posts, I have the unenviable task of trying to fill those mixing bowls, sheet pans, measuring cup, fuck, not sure which one, if any, works. And i think this is,like, year 7 of him doing the Sunday Gravy, which is fucking insane, when you think about how many recipes that is. Most of us just type and post, but all the Sunday Gravy posts need shopping, prep work, actual cooking and then a zillion pics along the way before you can even type.  I figure yr is at least a week ahead with planning and documenting these posts.  So, hope that yr is enjoying whatever random weekend he was able to be off.

As I mentioned ages ago in a few threads, my work, to try to “boost morale”, had a “Nailed it” competition, so today I’m gonna document what I did for it.

The theme was spring, and this is the thing we are to try to re-create.  Note that when signing up for this competition, we had no idea of what we were going to have to make

Flower cake

So here we go, baking we will goooooo

2 sticks or 1 cup of butter
2 ounces granulated sugar *
8 ounces light brown sugar *
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
2 tablespoons whole milk
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract (use the good stuff)

First melt the butter over low heat and then let cool a bit

next get out your stand mixer and pour the melted butter and add both the sugars on top.  We’re gonna cream them together for a few minutes at medium speed using the paddle attachment. You could do this with a hand mixer as well. I just like the toys in the kitchen.

Wait until the mixture gets lighter in colour, some where between 2 and 5 minutes

(bonus toe pic)
note how much lighter in colour the batter is.

next add in the egg, egg yolk, the milk and vanilla and mix until combined.

While the butter and sugar are mixing, measure out

12 ounces bread flour*
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon baking soda

and then sift them together

With the mixer on low mix in the flour mixture in three parts, waiting until most of the previous part has been incorporated.  You’ll prob need to scrape down the bowl during this step.

Next add 2 cups of semisweet chocolate chips.  I usually add more, as I measure with my heart.


Batter dripping action shot.

This now gets put into the fridge to cool down, for at least an hour.  I’ve done overnight with no issues.

While waiting for the batter to cool, I’m gonna start on the icing.

Add some colour to make the icing pop.

Once the batter has cooled, portion out into 1.5 oz balls*

now place 8 at a time per sheet into a 375 Degree oven for 16 minutes, turning once to ensure even doneness.  Also as yr had mentioned many times, use parchment paper here for some non-stick goodness.

Once done let cool

Next we need to create the base

now ice the sides

next ice the top

And done

Flower cake

I think I. nailed. it.  However, I did not win or even place.  The lady that did made almost the same cake.  WTAF.  I also was not last in voting, also a WTAF. I think i would have done better if they saw more than just the last picture.

As the title and above pictures hinted, I made cookies instead of a cake as I’ve never done a cake, and have zero experience in icing a cake.  These are Alton Brown’s Chewy chocolate chip cookies and are fucking phenomenal. There are a buncha places when we are being social with friends that the price of entry for me is a batch or two of these cookies.  There’s also a gluten free version of them that is just as good as the original. For the gluten free version, the Xantam gum is just a protien to replace the one that is not in the rice flour. For those in Canada, I got mine at Bulk Barn. I’ve read that these are great out of the freezer once baked, but haven’t tried that as they are sooo good as they are.

Sunday Gravy will return next week with hopefully less shenanigans and less actual colouring that what you just witnessed.

*measured by weight and not volume

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Game Time Decision
Recovering lurker; jack of all trades, master of none; Canukian; not as funny as he thinks he is. Funny, but not funny ha-ha
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Don T

Second ball! One more and ot’s Space Invaders pinball.

Mr. Ayo

Woah, infinite relegation ladder

Gumbygirl

Banana looks like he has a knock.

Horatio Cornblower

What was that about Pickford not having made a save?

Don T

Coach Louis CK is so animated his mourning band’s gonna end up in his ankle.

2Pack

Weber grilled ribeyes, potatoes, bell peppers and zucchini done and consumed. So grillin dun – chillin begun.

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King Hippo

Noodles, saying hello

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2Pack

Looks pampered.

Gumbygirl

He’s a fancy boy!

Don T

+10 injury time minutes so far, per fourth referee (QAT)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You spelled twat wrong, and why is it in parentheses?

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

Don T

Ugh. A pitch invader. I’m torn on pitch invading: rarely amused, 90% death penalty NOW.

Horatio Cornblower

Ah, he’s basically harmless.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure the soon-to-be 15 minutes of extra time isn’t going to have an adverse effect on the pill supply at Chez Hippo.

King Hippo

Between Pickford, Mina, and Tarkowski….you don’t want to have a bar fight with Everton!

Grandson Noodles came and sat with me moments after the goal. Taking that as a sign from God.

Eat shit, Lester!!

WCS

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If Noodles is your grandson, it’s no wonder Seamus was your friend.

Don T

Quite the English “let the lads blow some steam” scurrying back by the ref

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For those that didn’t watch Port Adelaide v Richmond because I said the first quarter wasn’t close….it tightened in the fourth but still wasn’t really in doubt.

WCS

Watching lesser footy and pro wrasslin breaks out. Figure-four leg-locks, flying kicks, and scrums that don’t go anywhere.

Mr. Ayo

That was quite the cheeky takedown. Almost got a pin out of it!

Horatio Cornblower

You get a yellow card! You get a yellow card! You get a yellow card! EVERYONE GETS A YELLOW CARD!!!

Horatio Cornblower

If I were Everton’s coach I would simply tell my team to score two more goals, thereby reducing the pressure. That’s what I’d do I tells ya!

WCS

How haven’t you been hired yet? Total brilliance they’re overlooking.

Horatio Cornblower

Pisses me off every day.

WCS

/time rip opens

//DJ 3000 appears

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///time rip closes

Don T

I love it when goalies do “What the [freeze, stare a defenseman]”

Horatio Cornblower

No one was stopping that shot. Rebound came right to the guy and he stepped into it perfectly.

Just like Everton drew it up.

Don T

“As strategiSed”
-coach Louis CK in notebook

Don T

1-0!
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WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

SO MANY PILLS!!!!

Senor Weaselo

OH WE GON PILL, BULLEE DAT.

King Hippo

Chuh fookin chuh

Mr. Ayo

Never a doubt

Senor Weaselo

Well, I think we can say Leeds is ded.

King Hippo

DonT – light a candle for Rum Ham, too. Not too proud for the service entrance to safety.

King Hippo

Still funereal environment at Goodison

Don T

New Orleans funeral or coffin dancers?
https://youtu.be/j9V78UbdzWI

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

45 minutes to glory!

#DoucheStrong #Pillz4All #DontDissapointHippo

King Hippo

The delta between pill 1 and pill 2 was….shorter than planned

Don T

Second half pep talk guest speakers

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King Hippo

That motivates HIPPO, FFS!

Don T

Heh heh. Yerry Mina with the box out AND loud dis

Don T

Ooooo. Almost Toffees.

ballsofsteelandfury

PANIC ON THE STREETS IN CARLISLE!

scotchnaut

DO SOMETHING MAYOR BELINDA!

Don T

Ha! I heard that song last week for the 1st time. It’s been played often since.

King Hippo

SAVE for Carlisle! A twist in the tale….

King Hippo

I have not shaved, leaving my “playoff beard” on for the finale. It itches. I hare facial hair equal to my inability to properly grow it.

King Hippo

120 + pens, 2nd day running at Wembley. Saving Hippo from pre-match coverage.

Jumpy as a crackhead being interviewed by the 5-0

DJ TAJ

Damn it, I want a cookie. Counting every article I’ve ever done? I must have 18 by now and all of them suck.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s not true, I’ve enjoyed all your posts (and I’m not alone). The Salton Sea series was particularly fascinating.

Last edited 11 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

It was poetry. And Taj’s cartoons are spectacular!

Horatio Cornblower

The Salton Sea stories deserve to be in The Library of Congress.

King Hippo

Without question

BrettFavresColonoscopy

By my count it’s 25, 14 under DJ Taj and 11 by you published under YR/laserguru with full credit to you in title and beyond. Like I said to Peter North, that’s impressive volume.

Gumbygirl

On today’s pregame matchup thingie for Everton, that I read religiously because Other Hippo compels me, the injury report has things like thigh strain, ankle or knee. Stuff you would expect during a long season of a fairly brutal game. But a number of players are suffering from something called ” knock.” What is this malady in AmeriCanadian?

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s like a corkie but less severe.

– Australia

Gumbygirl

Oh, well, that explains everything!

King Hippo

I think knock is equivalent to “hurt more so than injured” – usually playing through it is a matter of pain tolerance and management

Gumbygirl

So it’s an owwie, gotcha!

scotchnaut

Kudos to the Premier League schedule-makers. I mean, everyone would know that Man City, United, Arsenal and Liverpool would be in the mix for the champeenship so why not have City of Men playing fookin’ Brentford to finish up the season?

ballsofsteelandfury

That was really creative. I don’t know why they didn’t recognize your genius. The cookies look delicious!

scotchnaut

The Bulk Barn is also a Canadian gym franchise that caters to obese farmers that want to shed some weight.

LongtimeLionsLoser

When referring to Canadians, Isn’t “obese farmers” redundant?

-I have American farming family in North Dakota

ballsofsteelandfury

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herodotus450

Turns into something very different after hours though.

Don T

Very impressive problem solving and I would’ve voted #1 out of creativity and clever concept. Without even first tasting your cookies–but apparently they are legal tender for Canadian events. 🏆

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, in Canadian a “loonie” is a cookie?

Gumbygirl

I’d be a fucking billionaire by now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only thing I know about Canadian billionaires is that they’re allowed to get drunk and commit negligent homicide with their boats:

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/prosecutors-look-for-mysterious-vodka-drink-linda-oleary-said-someone-gave-her-after-fatal-boat-crash

yeah right

Just out of curiosity I scrolled back and researched. Not counting travelogs, and guest hosts*, I’ve had 221 actual cooking episodes of Sunday Gravy over nine seasons. Some of the episodes even surprised me.

I already cooked that?

* guest hosts include Our own Game Time Decision, DJ TAJ – several times including a two week stint while I recovered from my 5th knee surgery-, Balls of steel and fury, Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, Why Eagles Why, and Old School Zero.

Kind of blew my own mind scrolling back through all of that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’ve got me beat! I’m up to 217 for Request Line, including special editions.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, and my count *does* include guest hosts.

Gumbygirl

Hero!

King Hippo

Is Hippo nervous?

YES

What about Other Hippo?

NINJA, WHO YOU THINK DOIN’ THIS TYPETY-TYPIN??

Mr. Ayo

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Don T

Imma unshun Peacock for today. For Everton luck, Santa Marta, who grants difficult asks

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Last edited 11 months ago by Don T
King Hippo

She looks pretty chill about that TERRIFYING GODDAMNED SNAKE, so I’mma trust her to do her thing.

LongtimeLionsLoser

“Cookies, mixing bowls, toes in nice socks…you’re pushing all of the right buttons.”

-Rex Ryan [turgid]

Mr. Ayo

I, for one, think that cake should have won.

Stop the steal!

yeah right

As far as that cake goes? That’s a lot of fucking fondit.

yeah right

Thank you GTD. I appreciate the break. I miss the dad days when I could bake cookies and pie and cakes and there would be someone else to help me eat them. Now if I made cookies I would have to take them to work or else I would eat too many goddamn cookies.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You have my address.

yeah right

Fell out pretty early last night plus I had a massage appointment this morning.

It was fantastic.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Based on the toe picture I have concluded that Game Time Decision is actually the Wicked Witch of the East, having apparently survived a house falling on top of her. And also maybe Jim Tomsula put one over on all of us when he convinced us that “a girl named Dorothy, she was carrying a little dog, you can’t miss her” was the one who stole GTD’s shoes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In the morning GTD has to shake his shoes to get all the Danny Woodheads and Doug Martins out of them.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just like the toys in the kitchen.

grumble grumble you know who else likes toys in the kitchen grumble grumble

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Not all moms, I can tell you that. ELI! GET THIS FILTHY JUNK OFF OF MY COUNTER!” – Olivia Manning, at the end of her rope

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I luld

scotchnaut

That’s just great. Now I want cookies for breakfast.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Caesars are the family he dismembered, so….caveat emptor

LongtimeLionsLoser

Et tu, BFC?

2Pack

You certainly did nail it GTD. You can never go wrong with chocolate chip cookies. And I dislike cakes with all that colorful flavorless icing anyway. Only your goofy aunt likes that diabetic encounter.