Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
The question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I, or the others crazy [in bed]?
Albert Einstein
If you’re going to get crazy in bed, I’d recommend two things:
1. Stretch before
2. Get your partner’s permission
3. ???
4. Profit
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
You folks have gotten all the good players [from the linemen draft], but I do recognize this left tackle from the past few years of watching the Steelers.
BugEyedBoo
Evening folks
2Pack
Admin
July 18, 2023 9:10 am
I removed the mushrooms because they are an abomination.
[unleashes ork horde on BallsofSteel] – ArmedandHammered
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
The Inquisition’s Ordos Xenos nods in agreement with BallsofSteel.
ArmedandHammered
As mentioned before I have a little free library right in front of my place. Neighbor on our building placed it there in 2020.
I’m the unofficial curator of it.
Tonight I get home from work. Just off the freeway. Need to have a piss and a glass of wine but a neighbor who lives next door who I hadn’t met before is going through the library.
“Lots of good books in there right now” I say and she responded back.
“There are always wonderful books in here.”
We started talking about books and. I was in my driveway for 15 minutes talking to a neighbor about books.
I loved it. Could do that all day.
I’ve put Colson Whitehead books, Emily St. John Mandel books, Eric Larson and Philip Roth books out there.
Shit, people leave CDs and DVDs in there.
During the pandemic folks left unused COVID test kits in there.
It’s one of those little things that turns a block into a neighborhood and I couldn’t be more proud to assist.
Sure, it’s been tagged once, had the glass door broken but nobody fucks with it now because everybody uses it.
Paying it forward.
yeah right
Just so everyone knows – Litre has a great pile of friends. Half a dozen guys showed up to build a fence at his place this weekend and worked like pros. There were almost too many people for the job. Or at least that’s what I told myself while I slacked off and drank beer for three days.
BC Dick
Wild idea –
Potential 2024 U.S. Presidential candidate:
Former 49er QB Steve Young. He got laid off in the mass ESPN purge so he’s available.
Discuss.
Brick Meathook
Well, he has probably completed more passes than Trump ever has.
ArmedandHammered
Who objects to Gouda? Show yourself!
BrettFavresColonoscopy
I don’t object to gouda, but I don’t really give edam.
Dunstan
BeefReeferLives
My D&D session just involved a reference to a “greased-up gnome,” and I’m only sorry that none of my fellow players know about Lowratio.
Dunstan
you confuse a dwarf with a gnome and brother there’s gonna be shin-level hell to pay
SonOfSpam
all aboard the SWAGwagon!
King Hippo
I think I might have gotten on a stop early.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
THIS [CFL] PICKS POOL I CALL IT A BUNCH OF GAY CAVEMEN BECAUSE WE’RE ALL CHASING BC DICK.
SonOfSpam
Mrs. Horatio used to be a medical assistant. I’ve had a clogged ear for a few days, which I thought was from swimming. After tiring of my incessant “huh? What? I didn’t get that” she dug out some old equipment and irrigated said ear.
Folks, after several of what I can only describe as “ear douchings” there was a pop and a chunk of wax the size of my thumbnail came flying out and into the cup I was holding. It sounds, and is, gross as hell, but believe me when I tell you I can hear colors right now. Amazing.
Horatio Cornblower
At this point in time I can’t wait to start doing game intros again. Seriously, have we really been doing this thing since 2015?
scotchnaut
When the USA women’s team has a box-to-box midfielder, it means they’re in an open relationship
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
All this messy talk in Miami reminds of the time I did bath salts and woke up in Overtown with my cock in a mound of mofongo
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
I went to a mall today that had an upscale vacuum cleaner store.
Brick Meathook
Send that to RTD’s wife.
ArmedandHammered
I wish they would broadcast the conversation the referee has with VAR. They do that in Rugby and its awesome
Sharkbait
It’ll be nice to get a win over Vietnam after all this time.
SonOfSpam
July 22, 2023 8:42 am
I [RTD] opened up the house and let enough cool air in that it’s now 67° in here. Once the sun is up I’ll close things up, and we’ll see how much cooler it stays inside the house than outside. The high today is predicted to be 91°.
July 22, 2023 10:22 am
Currently 71°, and seems to be warmer outside than inside. Time to formally close things up.
July 22, 2023 12:25 pm
Currently 77° inside but supposedly only 80° outside. I don’t buy it, I was just out there and it’s way nicer in here.
July 22, 2023 2:49 pm
80° in the house now, 88° outside.
July 22, 2023 4:28 pm
81° now. It’s not too bad in here, run a fan at low power and it’s downright pleasant.
July 22, 2023 5:49 pm
Final entry: the house temperature never got higher than 81° – it’s 87° outside now so I’m opening things up and letting the breeze run through.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Good morning. Had a woman send back 3 bottles of the same wine as she said it was off last night. On the third I stated that maybe this isn’t what she likes?
“I know what I like and this (Sangiovese) is it, these wines are off.”
“I am sorry but they were fine, would you like to select something else.”
“I want a Sangiovese that isn’t off! What do you know anyway?”
“Le sigh, I have been doing this for 27 years, in 4 countries, 16 restaurants and have my sommelier papers.”
Husband comes to the rescue!
“Babe, I think he knows what he is talking about. Could you just bring us what you think will pair with our meal.”
“Absolutely, I will bring you a Chianti (Sangiovese) that is less acidic and a little bit dryer.”
Husband : “Thank you.”
He then gives me the look that this is what he deals with everyday. She enjoyed the Chianti I brought her but wouldn’t make eye contact the rest of the meal. He tipped me 30%. I have no problem with a shame tip.
litre_cola
Still chuckle about the banner comment on Spitse not being as popular back home as her sister Swallowse.
Mr. Ayo
Bought my ticket to GWS-Sydney, it’s happening.gif
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Up at a friend’s house drinking beers. House next door is rented to UConn students.
The motion detector lights come on. An athletic young girl dressed in a tank top, (which no, does not cover all of her very flat, very tan, and very well-defined abs), comes walking over with a bottle of wine.
“Hi. We’re just staying next door for a few weeks for field hockey camp. Are you guys, (note, none of us are under or more importantly look like we’re, under 50), renting here? Do you know the owner? Do you have a (this is a direct quote) wine-bottle-opener?”
Me: (internally) OK, I should be hearing “bow-chicka-wow-wah” right about now and then Balls yelling “action!” but I do not have a script and my wife is 20′ away so I’m not sure….”
externally: “Yeah, there’s one on that table over there. Help yourself.”
internally: Nailed it!
This really happened. One of my friends had to help her with the corkscrew, then she changed her shirt in front of the open window. Bra was white. All the wives hate her and all the men are buying season tickets to UConn field hockey.
Horatio Cornblower
If you embiggen this picture, you will see a beautiful blue Steller’s jay on the bird feeder. They are noisy as fuck, but so purty!
Gumbygirl
About the Monty Hall problem, there are 4 cases
1) You select the correct door, host opens wrong door #1 (16.7%)
2) You select the correct door, host opens wrong door # 2 (16.7%)
3) You select wrong door #1, host opens wrong door #2 (33%)
4) You select wrong door #2, host opens wrong door #1 (33%)
When the host opens a door (say wrong door #1), you can eliminate half of those, so you’re left with
1) You selected the correct door, host opens wrong door #1 (16.7%)
or
2) You selected wrong door #2, host opens wrong door #1 (33%)
Since 33>16.7 the probability that you selected the wrong door is higher and it’s better to switch
Doktor Zymm
/wife and I are out in the middle of the lake swimming
Me: “What grade would you give us as far as raising the kids?”
Wifey: “What? I can’t. That’s too simplistic.”
Me: “C’mon. It’s just a silly question.” [thinking, “I hope she gives us a better grade than the B-minus that I have in mind”]
Wifey: “Ok…maybe a C-plus?”
Me: “Wow. We can’t be that bad!”
/after a bit more discussion we gave ourselves a very tentative “B”
scotchnaut
My Dad also said “fair” and when pressed “B-minus.” My Mom responded “speak for yourself, I sure hell think we did better than B-fucking-minus.”
/ie, this was a loaded question and GOOD JERB holding your fire
King Hippo
“More gruel sir? Someone? Anyone? Please feed me. I beg you.”
-Unemployed Zeke Elliot
scotchnaut
Zeke looks like a hunter- gatherer. He’ll be fine.
Gumbygirl
Ed Reed has taught him the ropes of survival on the street.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Carried over from the Sunday Gravy blog:
Family stopped by, and…
I have so much love.
Fuck it. I earned an A+ in upbringing.
These are some cool cats.
When I’ve got a request for a recipe and I can just give them a link to a previous episode?
Shit was done right.
Hell yeah. I want to do this every week.
yeah right
Amazon trying to sell me DEET free mosquito repellent. Pffft, I don’t want that weak crap, KILL THEM ALL AND DAMN THE CONSEQUENCES
Doktor Zymm
Picaridin based repellent works as good as DEET for mosquitos, is better for ticks, and doesn’t smell quite as bad as DEET. However, it doesn’t last quite as long.
BugEyedBoo
MIX EM ALL TOGETHER IN A BIG, DEADLY VAT
Doktor Zymm
…and that’s how Doktor Zymm became Joker Zymm.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
New name for the Washington football team:
A) The Washington Football Team (number helmet logo)
B) The Washington Marxists (hammer& sickle helmet logo)
C) The Washington Half-Smokes (half-smoke helmet logo)
D) The Washington Washingtons (George Washington profile from quarter on helmet with Indian feathers in his hair and red war paint)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24jInXKuJWs&ab_channel=EricC
Needz a big ‘ol pair o’ truck nutz to make this shot just exactly perfect…
Me, thinking about which of my friends own or have access to pools (artist’s conception):
Do they have Swimply down in LA?
My gym has a pool. It’s generally available for open swim for about 2 hours a day, and is otherwise occupied by a swim team made up of, I shit you not, four kids, or swimming lessons for little kids who tie up 3 entire lanes even though none of them will ever sniff the deep end, and/or lanes for lap swimming.
All I want to do is a couple of cannonballs after finishing a workout, yet I am thwarted at every turn by urchins and the elderly. When, oh when, will the mediocre white middle-aged male get a break?
I see a young man from my high school alma mater will be swimming for NCSU next year.
Um…not to pry, but how does it happen that you know so much about the future activities of high school age boys who wear speedos?
you venture into the wild when you run out of socks
NC State has a very good swim/dive program, for some unknown reason. Huzzah for your alma mate.
The drive to work was such an absolute shit ball that as soon as I checked email I started searching for apartments closer to the job
Not sure I got three plus more years of THAT bullshit in me.
Didn’t you move out of a place that was right by your office because San Pedro was calling? The only solution is to move the office to San Pedro!
Sinéad O’Connor, RIP. That’s a damn shame.
She gets the chance to personally punch John Paul II now.
this is the REEL enemy!!
(she meant to say ‘shampoo’)
I read earlier that the record company marketing types told her, “We love your music, but could you be a little more of a girly girl?” How about this? *buzzcut*
I recall the same story. O’Connor was a punk’s punk.
Vaya con Dios, Sinead.
Depends on where he ended up.
I suspect the went in different directions, and some old school Catholics would probably be pretty surprised at which of them went where.
That’s surprising, she’s not particularly old. She was always very up-front and honest, which is pretty rare in the spotlight and she was absolutely correct about the Catholic church.
Huh, apparently she converted to Islam a few years ago, I had no idea
Hospitalized a few years back for depression and suicidal thoughts. Her family doesn’t want to divulge details at this time. There’s a pattern here.
She lost her son to suicide about a year ago. I get it.
Dear Lord. I can’t begin to convey my heartfelt condolences to the Gumbys.
It’s been 13 years. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday, sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. Thank you for your kind thoughts, you will never know how much yinz have all helped me.
“Does this mean I get to pick a Supreme Court Justice now?”
-Sleepy Joe, looking up from his afternoon pudding cup
” ”
Mitch McConnell
But she seemed so stable
I say! The local papers in Rhodesia are reporting that Kylian Mbappe has turned down the gargantuan deal from Al-Hilal! What a foolish lad — he will remember the error of his ways when he is working on a chain gang in the Upper Volta wilderness two years from now!
This is fine. Mitch is fine. Nothing to see here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0PfbRcZLFM
That’s why you should save your work frequently.
From the comments – you’re supposed to keep turtles warm, or they get sluggish.
I’m SENATOR TRENT GREEN!
/whoever follows him in leadership and KY-elected Senatorial roles will be worse, so I hope he is reasonably ok
“Senior Senator Rand Paul”
and his new poodle, junioUr Senator Thomas “I’m just asking questions b/c FREEDUM” Massie!
I think the KY governor, (giggles for an hour), is a Democrat, and Mitch I think just got reelected, so if Mitch kicks it the governor would likely appoint a Democrat to take his place.
Kentucky won’t have seen rage like that since the Pinkertons came to town!
He looks like he pooped his pants. Good.
Glitch in the Mitchbot!
Who goes shopping at Trader Joe’s when it’s 113⁰? This idiot! And I can’t jump in the pool when I get home because the chlorinator is broken, the water is
” unhealthy,” and there is no fix in sight. We should have stayed in Big Bear.
I’m pretty sure “the chlorinator is broken” is code for too much urine in the pool.
I haven’t been in the pool since before we went to Big Bear. It wasn’t me!
Buy a jug of Clorox, dump it in the pool, wait an hour for it to disperse, hop in.
/only sort of kidding; it’s the same chemical, I just am not sure how much Clorox you’d need to get to the right concentration
About 2X the amount of what you’d use for the dry pool chlorination chemicals. Source: my wife insisted that we get one of those 18′ instant above ground pools, and you have to do everything to it that you have to do for bigger pools. Even at 2X, Great Value bleach was cheaper than pool chemicals.
If you’re serious, just buy the chlorine measuring strips when you buy the bleach, and do what RTD is saying. Pour, test, and repeat until you get it right.
Tomorrow is the monthly HOA meeting. It may get ugly.
I didn’t realize that Sarah Huckabee Sanders owns a vacation home in your community.
Just saw a comment that was devastating on an article about the ‘Try that in a small town’ controversy:
“I tried jogging down the street in a small town”
–Ahmaud Arbery
I mean, DAMN.
I’m certainly not going to try spending any money in a small town.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88sARuFu-tc
As opposed to Smallboy Town, which is where Danny Woodhead hails from.
“He ain’t the only one.”
-D. Favre
No you’re thinking of Smallwood.
hey, I live in a small town but a lefty one so NAWT REEL MURRIKA obvs
I got into it with some friends of mine over that song. I wound up telling them they were all getting taken for a ride by a no-talent assclown working a grift.
I’m quite popular.
I don’t think Zambia’s gonna pull this one out.
Rex Grossman approves this message
I’d put the chances at about 21%.
‘How many Catholics are in Zambia?
There are over about three million Catholics in the country, or 21% of the total population. There are ten dioceses, including two archdioceses.’
DR. MRS. DEADLY: [buys nine different varieties of floor cleaner]
DR. MRS. DEADLY: [uses laundry detergent to mop the floor]
I’d double-check my clothes if I were you.
And your morning coffee…
We have terra cotta in the basement kitchenette taverna, venezianna (frigging fancy AND expensive) on the ground floor and hard wood upstairs. 3 totally different cleaners and methods. As if I didn’t have enough to remember and not get in trouble over.
better than eating it, as I see is the trend now
I just shuffle around in my socks and hope they pick up the dirt
I’ve got a good sock joke here, but Blax and I are in the same sock/dwarf boat, so solidarity before all else.
In the WTF department, some ads on my work machine that isn’t permitted to have an adblocker.
A) WTF kind of searches are happening on that device?
B) May I suggest a Pi Hole?
A) Those ads appear on some Discus forums that I visit. I just snipped it; I’m not clicking on it.
B) I should set it up, but I’m lazy. My pi 3 has a MAME install on it that I don’t use, so I should reformat it and put that on there. A good friend/coworker here swears by it.
I run one on a hypervisor in a server in my basement. Its excellent
I am definitely too lazy to set up a server running containers or multiple VMs. I get enough of that shit at work. 🙂
That’s not what I wanted a Pi Hole to be
Is that Temu? Those started showing up recently. No thank you, I already have enough cheap Chinese crap.
Yes’m. I’ve bought a few things from Aliexpress, mostly cheap stuff that wouldn’t break my heart if it turned out to be garbage.
Gumbygirl is all by herself in first place in the Women’s World Cup pool!!
LIKE A FUCKING LADY!
No fucking way! I suggest everyone gather supplies and ammo, and head for the hills, because that has to be a bad sign. Something wicked this way comes!
We were supposed to keep putting the tip in after the first round completed? How old do you think I am?
Pro Tip for Zimm
this is also the setting my kids use and then can’t figure out why it takes forever to wash and dry
That’s how I do it if you make me wash clothes. Throw them all in that high-capacity washer that we bought for a reason and set it on cold.
I need that!
Scotchy will be angry with me…but Sinclair is cooked
I… agree. She’s long past her expiry date. She really oughta move aside, she’s holding younger players back.
Yeah when I mentioned my fantasies of Sinclair restraining younger players this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
Leon The Professional!!!