Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 22

Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your host John Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between John Fecal, Jack HandeyBalls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the twenty second edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open  attempt at an advice column.

  • This week has had quite the whirlwind of NFL news, injuries, losses, and tosses. Let’s get into some randomness.
  • Walking through the United club at Heathrow last week, I heard a guy say to his friend “that’s a big shower. You could have quite a bit of fun in there.” Not wrong but also, thanks for sharing?
  • When I got back, I had a Lyft driver who had two American flag coasters in the back seat cup holders. I’m not doubting his patriotism , but you have to think that’s a preemptive move against racism from riders.
  • Congratulations to Fredbird and friends on clinching their first losing season since 2007. Here’s to many more.
  • I was on the bus to work and there was a moment straight out of an 80s movie: a woman got on wearing a blue hardhat carrying construction blueprints . Somebody watch out for a villainous boss and/or real estate developer.
  • How early is too early for a fantasy football fire sale? It’s not actually terrible yet but I don’t have a lot of hope to be in the final running yet. Just like the rest of the Bears fans out there.
  • I am trying to fight off whatever cold/crud/covid is going around town, but I’m def still a little sneezy. This morning I went to Elmo elbow it and got a little wetness on the bicep region of my shirt. Gross.
  • UPDATE: Full blown sick and wishing hibernol was real. The hot and cold and tossing and turning and aching and nausea and diarrhea….add in that I’m already fat and I presume this is what being pregnant feels like.
  • Yom Kippur is this weekend, so don’t forget to handle your guilt.
  • Also this weekend are the preliminary finals for Aussie rules football. My GWS Giants take on the #1 Collingwood Magpies on Friday, which is very inconvenient. I either need to wake up early to watch live until meetings start and then finish it up later in the morning or hold off and watch it before meeting up with folks that night.
  • And Brisbane plays Carlton Saturday night, with Harry McKay still TBD coming back from a brutal concussion two weeks ago. Maybe more importantly, the Lions haven’t lost at home all season, and this game is also at the Gabba.
  • To put this into context, the AFL has a system where the top 8 teams make the playoffs, but it’s designed to really make the top 4 get to the grand final. GWS and Carlton were NOT in the top 4, so getting this far is already a big upset, and both teams are hot enough that there is chatter of a world where they shock the world and both end up in the grand final. I would be perfectly fine with just one of them doing so if that one is my giants. Cue the song!

  • How much SNL talk is too much SNL talk? Or I guess more accurately, how many links to old ass SNL sketches are too many? Is anyone clicking anyway?
  • As always, let’s wrap up with a fill in the blank. “Hey, it could be worse, the US Military could have lost a ____________.”
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
BFC is a Chicago native transplanted to our nation's capital and transplanted again to the mountain West, then to SoCal, then back to the mountain West, and then again back to our nation's capital. He enjoys football, whisky, and the oxford comma.
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ballsofsteelandfury

What does a horse shoe do?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is it bad to get hammered shortly after taking the flu vaccine? I hope not, cause I’mma do it anyways.

scotchnaut

Booze Clerk: “I saw scotchwife yesterday as I was driving by. I hadn’t seen her in so long. I barely recognized her-she looks absolutely amazing! Please tell her she looks great.”

/gets home

Scotchwife: “I’m getting so tired of this workout routine. I feel ‘bleh’. I just want to eat chips tonight and take a break.”

Me: “Booze Clerk saw you the other day on your walk and said that you looked so beautiful and full of energy.”

Scotchwife: [talks about her day for a bit]

Scotchwife: “I’ve gotta get going on my hike.”

Doktor Zymm

So, the Thursday night game in a couple weeks, CHI@WAS, is gonna be pretty great for legal issue shittalking, yeah?

bk109

I’m more interested in seeing the injury report for the game
-RB X – knee
-LB Y – illness
-TE Z – “flight risk” / unable to travel 😀

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WASCHI BOWL! Which I assume is some exotic version of a poke bowl.

Doktor Zymm

Had dinner with a big group of Australians and Americans, loads of fun even though we’re all turning in a bit early (i. e. before 11 pm)
One couple lives about 30 miles away from me in the Bay area, another about 3 miles from my condo in Chicago.
Guessing I’m about 30 years under the median age here, but don’t mind at all, it’s actually really nice to know that I have another 30-40 years of fun times with fun people ahead of me!

blaxabbath

Old chicks are hot.

Grumble.

fleshwound_NPG

if the rumors (again, rumors) are true, the bears are about to give us peak pedobear meme

SonOfSpam

So in his case, DC stands for Diddling Children?

blaxabbath

“Can I sign up to be RC!?”

-M Gaetz, R-ist

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The U-18 version of the Bearistocrats!

bk109

Since I just saw someone wearing their merch (though he looked like a hipster, so it may’ve been ironically). I have to say, I actually preferred the Redacteds previous name better and it kinda felt more right than this “Commanders” bollocks

bk109

Why the downvote, balls?

bk109

Redtails if they were actually good, so they could honour the name. Also, that name kinda would fit a potential Alabama team better. And I’d actually had a D’oh moment, because I assumed that the WFT name was official and not a temporary, thus causing ambiguity. I most definitely meant the WFT, since … well, an auto-generated team from Madden deserves a generic name. Plus, the simpler logo (and “name”) didn’t look as garrish as their new merch

Doktor Zymm

Football Team was fantastic, and you are absolutely correct that Redtails was the best option of all the proposals

Brick Meathook

Redtails is terrible. Washington Football Team all the way.

Horatio Cornblower

Washington Football Team was a much better name.

bk109

I know, that’s what I said. Somehow the literally generic placeholder name feels less generic than the current one. Plus, again, the merch looked better (I really don’t get why the new ownership didn’t retain the “placeholder” style W font/look)

Doktor Zymm

I was just thinking earlier today that I wish I had gotten some WFT merch when it was on clearance, but I didn’t know then that the team was so close to being Snyder-free

bk109

Yeah, the only reason why I didn’t get one was because I didn’t want to give even a cent to Goodell and Snyder.. and by the time I remembered that “official merch =/= all merch”, the stuff I kinda wanted isn’t available

fleshwound_NPG

“Hey, it could be worse, the US Military could have lost a popular NFL football player in very, very shady circumstances.”

fleshwound_NPG

aw shit, the bears tanking is in full god mode now, and its only week 3

fields threw the coaching staff under the bus, and the DC is currently “missing”

tankdivision.jpg
bk109

Barely related: Hmm, those are almost identical to basic T-54/55’s, but not quite… Type59’s? .. Type59s! And yes, I know I can just do an image search, but … where’s the fun in that, plus it trains one’s eye for details – like the way the troops are standing at attention (and saluting), or the small star on the flag that means this’s the PRC

fleshwound_NPG

forget tanking, we are gonna witness the ultimate 0-17 speedrun

bk109

UPDATE: Full blown sick and wishing hibernol was real. The hot and cold and tossing and turning and aching and nausea and diarrhea….add in that I’m already fat and I presume this is what being pregnant feels like.

Ok, find some women’s curling on youtube and a box set of JAG. It works like a bloody charm whenever I’m under the weather.

bk109

By the way, stray observation – you should be allowed to bitch slap people (especially in uniform) that decide to grandstand using a variation of “I’m your worst nightmare, boy” (especialy when it comes from someone that somehow managed avoiding a single posting in war zone, despite the US permanently being at war the past … actually … were you lads ever actually at peace for more than 5 minutes?)

LemonJello

There was about 10 minutes after the signing ceremony on the Missouri in Tokyo Bay, that was relatively peaceful…

LemonJello

Also, in response to the “worst nightmare” bullshit, just call them out on it – “Yes, a vacuous, combat dodging gasbag without a shred of actual useful knowledge in your position IS my worst nightmare.”

bk109

Pretty much did that, lol, including pointing out that I’ve accumulated more scars* as a fucking reservist than he did as a 30 year veteran professional cock gobbler. Then I pointed out that the reason I’m even seconded is because his own chain of command is looking for external help to get the job done, because his higher ups don’t have any fucking faith in his work. After all that, I got my shit and left the building pointedly ignoring my phone vibrating harder than Lowratio’s favourite butt plug.

*my “favourite” being a recurring theme in my nightmares, lol, since I vividly remember wondering if the blood pooling in my boot was arterial or not, which is kinda important when blacking out at the controls of a helo at treetop level 😀

bk109

I’m pretty sure the lolcow* that was Dougie MacArthur was already trying to kickstart a war against the commies (that had just steamrolled through more japanese soldiers in 2 weeks than the US since Pearl Harbor, but that’s not something that usually gets mentioned in our textbooks)

*I honestly don’t understand why he wasn’t shot (or disappeared) after the debacle that was his “defence” of the Phillipines

BugEyedBoo

Stuff I’ve read said they kept Dugout Doug for PR reasons, but I’m not 100% sure I believe that. He ended up in command of SWPA, viceroy to Japan, and commanded in Korea.

blaxabbath

Hey, it could be worse, the US Military could have lost a fucking infectious/delicious bat.

Horatio Cornblower

“Hey it could be worse, the US military could have last a land war in southeast Asi…Oh, wait.”

Horatio Cornblower

/scrolls down

Ah, I see that joke’s been made. Well, I’m sure that’ll never happen again.

blaxabbath

Commenting doesn’t really begin until blaxabbath posts.

bk109

… same goes for the “random” piss tests.

Doktor Zymm

Holy crap, there is an American from Dallas aboard who supports the Carlton Blues

WCS

MAH BOYS IN BLUE ARE GOTTDAMNED STARS ALL OVER THE GALAXY COCAINE AND SPACE WHISKEY FOR EVERYONE I AM GOTTAMNED CRAZY HEEEEEEHHHAAAWWWWWW

ArmedandHammered

“Hey, it could be worse, the US Military could have lost a Big Book of Nuclear Codes”

LemonJello

User: user
Password: Password

ArmedandHammered

Nah, the Chinese keep changing them for us.

bk109

No need, lol. With the US generously buying components from abroad, it’d be surprisingly easy to slip something untoward in a chip package (it can be as serious as a full IC snuck on a SIP, or as hidden as a couple of miswired transistors). Hell, at my day job we’ve started randomly testing (including x-raying) gear, since we’ve got “extra bits” that showed up after going for full-rate production in Taiwan (we’re talking comparing same revision boards, just different mfg dates and lot numbers) 😀

BugEyedBoo

sa/sa

BeefReeferLives

“Hey, it could be worse, the US Military could have lost a submarine armed with nuclear missiles, equipped with a new, almost undetectable propulsion system, and with the crew trying to defect to a opposing world power.”

Hmmm. Might be a good idea for a book. Perhaps even a movie starring….

Nah, that’s just crazy talk.

bk109

I wonder how many people realize that this is also basically the plot of a failed one and done US TV series from not too long ago 😉

LemonJello

“Hey, it could be worse, the US Military could have lost a genetically modified virus that spread across the globe in a pandemic and continued to mutate/evolve for the rest of human history.”

WCS
Horatio Cornblower

Anything involving a Chevy Citation is doomed to end in disaster anyway.

ArmedandHammered

Especially first dates.

Doktor Zymm

The US military could have lost an entire war someplace in Asia, maybe Vietnam or Afghanistan

2Pack

Hey we’re like 10-1-2… Still not too shabby. We do miss General Patton, Admiral Nimitz, Jimmy Doolittle and Chesty Puller though…

WCS

I guess OIF had a “We Broke It But Didn’t Buy It” policy somewhere in the fine print.

LemonJello

Is it an important war though if it doesn’t have roman numerals at the end of it?

2Pack

Hey it could be worse, the US military could have lost an aircraft carrier.

Nuther random thought here…

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BugEyedBoo

Venus of Willendorf: Green Pepper edition.