Fancy Another? Your Afternoon Window of NFL Tilts Open Thread

The hits just keep on coming!*

*resulting in bruises, contusions, aches, pains, concussions, sprains and surgeries

We’ve a few more matchups, let’s take a quick glance.

To The Games!

Raiders/Chargers:

I almost took Vegas in my ‘loser’ pool because of the QB situation, the general turdmoil and especially the distraction to the team that is the slow-moving disaster of the Chandler Jones saga. Turns out the Raiders concerns were quite valid and they responded-although ham-handedly-by inquiring into his well-being in person. (which Jones laughed off) Where was I? Oh, I’m sure Vegas is going to come up short here but you know one team that can come up shorter? The Chargers. Their ability to underwhelm at any given point in the schedule or during a game is unparalleled. So much talent, so little gumption.

Pats/Cowboys:

How does one respond to the ambush/letdown that was last week’s loss to the Cards? Prop-wise I’d take Zeke’s 27.5 rushing number every time. He had 16 carries last week and was more efficient than Stevenson. Am I missing something here? Right, the vagaries of Belichick’s player usage. I trust that he’ll ride him into the ground though. Keep an eye on the very banged up 0-line of the Cowboys.

Cards/Niners:

“They Never Stood a Chance”. That’s the obituary of the game for Arizona today. Play any and all of your San Fran fantasy assets and sit back and rest easy, though I’m sure it won’t be pretty to watch.

Stay safe out there on your couch.

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Redshirt

The Legend of White Mac – Denouement

King Hippo

You win, and will be cited in the morn

LemonJello

Zappe warming up! THIS IS NOT A DRILL FOLKS! White Mac is going into the Country Crock tub and into the fridge.

Redshirt

“We can do that?” – Zac T., OH

fleshwound_NPG

khalil mack is back

Col. Duke LaCross

Mack’s got six sacks today. I don’t know if he played six games the last two years he was in Chicago.

Redshirt

Those Cardinals away kits aren’t terrible. I would’ve replaced the silver CARDINALS stripe on the sleeves with a yellow stripe, but still, its a noticeable improvement.

jjfozz

THIS GAME, I CALL IT THE BATTLE OF CHARLESTON, SC BECAUSE PATRIOTS ARE GETTING MURDERED.

Redshirt

WELL I CALL IT THE BATTLE OF FORT SUMTER, BECAUSE THE PATRIOTS ARE BEING BOMBARDED AND A GOOD PORTION OF THE POPULATION IS IN REBELLION.

The Maestro

Gonna do the patented move of sticking Mac on a lobstah schoonah and then firin’ a cannon at him as he leaves the hahbah. Only way to deal with the current problem.

ThePirateSloth

I don’t want to get my hopes up, but go Cardinals?

LemonJello

-The Pope, after telling them to stop diddling kids.

LemonJello

Dallas is working on an “Andy Reid” worth of turnovers and Mac is serving them up piping hot.

fleshwound_NPG

“wait until andy sees me!”

-milf hunter zac

King Hippo

The Legend of White Mac – Final Chapter?

LemonJello

WEAH CALLIN HIM LABSTAH MAC CAUSE THIS GUY IF FACKIN COOKED. NO ONE DENIES THIS!

jjfozz

Watching children’s sports with millennial parents is worse than being shut in a closet with Donald Trump on a meth binge.

LemonJello

Are you or Trump on the binge?

jjfozz

Trump. I can only imagine. Those parents are just fucking morons. They have no idea what they’re saying and you would think we’re watching the World Cup.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just to revisit, the Bears blew a 21-point second-half lead, at home, to a team that had lost 70-20 the week before. Truly an achievement for the ages.

King Hippo

Didn’t even need OT to do it!

ThePirateSloth

Maybe we should stop saying “step on their neck” during an NFL broadcast?

LemonJello

Should it be replaced with “Hit them in the mouth like that one ex-girlfriend” ?

jjfozz

“Slap them like Ray Rice in an elevator.”

fleshwound_NPG

“stab em while wearing a white suit!”

jjfozz

“Hit them with a switch you cut off a tree.”

LemonJello

“LOOKIT MAH GOTTDAMMED STARS OUT THERE! DOUBLE MY ORDER OF POST GAME COKE AND TRIPLE THE NUMBER OF WHORES! YEEEEEeeeeeeeHHAAAAAAWWwwwwwww I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY!”

jjfozz

OWAH TEAM IS GAWNA COME BAHK IN THE SECOND HAWF. I SAW BRADY SUITING UP!

LemonJello

Narrator: “Unfortunately, it was Brady Quinn that he saw suiting up.”

WCS

Legend of White Mac is becoming more of a cautionary legend now, like Legend with Mia Sara, Tom Cruise, and Tim Curry.

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
Gumbygirl

Legend is one of two Tom Cruise movies I’ve seen the whole way through. I can’t think of the name of the second one, but he played a samurai.

LemonJello

Gumby hasn’t made you sit through Top Gun? What is the Navy coming to?

Gumbygirl

Nope, samurai. Japan. I saw the tighty whitey dancing thing from Risky Business, about a quarter of Top Gun, maybe half of Rain Man, and none of anything else. I will never get to Xenu.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Edge of Tomorrow is a really, really great sci-fi movie. One of the best ones out there, honestly.

Gatoraids

And you get to see him die over and over

Gumbygirl

Hmmmm, I would enjoy that!

jjfozz

That’s a great flick. So great I converted to Scientology.

Brick Meathook

Collateral is the best Tom Cruise movie

Senor Weaselo

The Last Samurai?

Gumbygirl

Yup

fleshwound_NPG
The Maestro

I’m gonna kill myself and it’s all the Cowboys’ fault.

Spur

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Spur

Pick6 baby.

LemonJello

THESE PATRIOTS, I CALL THEM A CATTLE DRIVE TO THE STOCKYARDS BECAUSE THESE COWBOYS ARE DOING UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO THEM, AND IN THE END, THEY’LL BE SLAUGHTERED!

LemonJello

An update: There will be LemonJello Boots On The Ground for Ursine Fields Shitters V. Commander Redacteds!

Gumbygirl

Try to avoid the Sewage Seats.

Spur
fleshwound_NPG

tbf, this is what 95% of all wideouts think, and sometimes say in the huddle

Redshirt

Start Browning or McCarron and put Burrow on ice until he can run a 5K. He can’t run or throw deep.

Doktor Zymm

Good night, and good luck

LemonJello

Sweet dreams (of world domination), Dok!

Doktor Zymm

Walked back to my hotel and gonna sleep now, but also feeling kinda old now that I’m nawt surrounded by people 20+ years older than me

Doktor Zymm

Also, I Am bad at fantasy footsballs

fleshwound_NPG

deablo with the chokeslam from hell

LemonJello

Colin Cowherd should be fired into the sun.

fleshwound_NPG

horse drawn and quartered, remains left for the buzzards, leftovers sent through a pulper

then fired into the sun

Gumbygirl

You forgot staked out on a fire ant mound.

jjfozz

His remains shall be mixed with mayonnaise and used as sandwiches for dogs.

LemonJello

Seems cruel to the dogs.

jjfozz

Dogs eat their own poop, so this sandwich wouldn’t taste much different.

Spur

Cant we just banish him to wilderness?

Gumbygirl

Don’t be a buzzkill, Spur!

King Hippo

POINT OF ORDER – just because these games are mandatory to WATCH? Doesn’t mean you have to leave the sound on.

Gatoraids

This slate of games is just the tip for the KC vs Jests pounding later tonight

LemonJello

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King Hippo

Imagine how freaked NBC would be, if not for the Swifties

fleshwound_NPG

considering how her last couple of years of her life went, she can still go to the next one this year if they win and no one would notice

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

they wouldn’t have won that 1981 title without her, ppl forget that

1984 either

Spur

Yeah, Big Boy 2 pt conversion!

Spur

Vander with the TD! Good for him

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s My Raiders!

/but seriously, this is why I shouldn’t watch the NFL anymore – they didn’t even review it even though a) it was a turnover and b) Farva’s arm was still moving forward when it came loose.

Spur

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Gumbygirl

I thought they had the crazy guy locked up?

LemonJello

HI! I’M MARK DAVIS AND HAVE YOU SEEN WHERE MY TODAY GIRLFRIEND WENT?

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Spur

Raiders with a late OOB hit on Herbert. it was beautiful

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah if you’re gonna get ejected for unnecessary roughness at least get your money’s worth, and he certainly did.

King Hippo

I am not paying great attention and thought that JuJu catch was a P*ts pickerception.

Spur

Eberflus needs to be put on raft and sent down river.

LemonJello

Just got back from taking the Lady LemonJello out for her birthday – brunch and drinks on a sunny Sunday.

Oh, by the way:

DDUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

Gumbygirl

I’m still salty they screwed me in last weeks Elimination Challenge, but Happiest Birthday Lady Lemonjello!

Spur

So now Zeke wants to try and run

LemonJello

He remembers where he stashed some lead paint chips in the endzones of Jerral’s penis compensator stadium

ThePirateSloth

*sigh*

The damn 49ers are winning the Super Bowl, aren’t they

Gumbygirl

Gumby sez he’s prettay sure Maxxxxxxx Crosby is a serial killer.

Spur

Vegas has a healthy transient population to prey on

Spur

Took a monster nap, got up see the last quarter of the morning games. Would do again.

Gumbygirl

I woke up at 6:30 for the mandatory game I didn’t have access to, went back to bed at 7 ish, and woke up for the second half of Rammit. 100% recommend!

jjfozz

Woke up, took the youngest to soccer, meanwhile Mrs. Fozz watched mass with the two oldest. This never, ever works. When I came home the atmosphere was . . .napalmy.

Redshirt

…and Joey Votto has been ejected from his last game due to the umpire being both blind and incapable of any criticism.

This is why I gave up on baseball.

King Hippo

Haven’t watched since the first few weeks of the dumb COVID season. Do not miss it.

fleshwound_NPG

glory to the greatest tank commander of our time, marshall justin zhukov fields

tank-commander-marshall-fields.png
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who called the fourth and one? Pretty sure that’s the tank commander.

Redshirt

No, they didn’t.

WCS

Hey, WVU won last night, the US got prison-bitched in the Ryder Cup, and absolutely nothing else happened.

Don T

Sounds like textbook Post AFC South Traumatic SD.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love it when rugby players kick it over a would-be tackler’s head and chase it down themselves. I wish there was an NFL equivalent. It’s so fun.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FARVADOWN!

King Hippo

AOC got thicc (getting fat off the backs of the MURRIKAN TAXPAYER obvs)

jjfozz

Drank beers during the Ravens game, gonna go cut the lawn.

fleshwound_NPG

ah, the yearly los angeles raiders home game

fleshwound_NPG

puka nacua should be a cocktail at this point

King Hippo

especially since he’s a Mormon!

fleshwound_NPG

ah, so it should have milk in it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[starts humming “Hakuna Matata” to himself] – Eli Manning

TheRevanchist

That tuddy by Nacua put me in shape to be 4-1 in both my FF leagues. Now to hang some Halloween decor, then nap.

Senor Weaselo

Posted in the early thread because I don’t pay attention, but I said I’d give Expo updates, and they’re eating Reapers at the Stage of Doom.

Senorita Weaselo: “Senor, what makes a Buffalo sauce?”
Me: “I know we already said hi to Maggie [Dilley, who has taken over after John passed] but let’s go back to DEFCON.”

Well, now she knows!

Doktor Zymm

UNEXPECPECTED TIES
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OK, one fewer with the Iggles score

Don T

Give my regards to Dr. Leary

Gumbygirl

That appears to be two ties. Cool knot!